Ranka's First Ballad
Episode 7: Father
It wasn't a dream. Kotoko and I did get together, although our status was more of a brother-sister bond. I had felt something for her, but at the same time I didn't want to rush anything. And it wouldn't do good if anything else had to go wrong, especially with Kotoko's pregnancy which I still needed time getting used to. Ironic isn't it? I'm not the biological father yet I could still feel a lot for Kotoko and her baby. Damn. This is love...or not. Definitely not sympathy, since Kotoko would never tolerate that. But there was one thing I felt a little disturbed about. There should be a biological father somewhere. I mean, there's no way a woman can get pregnant without a man's deed. I didn't want to force anything out of Kotoko, since she should be having more rest and less emotional outburst. I kept wondering who the hell the man was. I visited Kotoko frequently, bringing her soup and pickles. No, we didn't cohabit. No point drawing gossip. I mean we weren't officially dating, and with her pregnancy and stuff, the last thing that I wanted was people calling Kotoko rude names. Her pregnancy had remained a secret though, and because her stomach hardly showed signs, nobody else in her neighbourhood had suspected a thing. Yet to be safe I refused to allow myself to move any step closer in the relationship. Once the baby's out, there's definitely more to think about. And that brings me back to the biological father issue. Damn.
"Ranka-san? Ranka-san..." Kotoko snapped me out of my deep thoughts. I smiled back and sat by the table. I had brought pickles for her and a while ago I was still standing by the window. Nice scenery by the way. Kotoko looked so much like a typical housewife. But when she talked, the feeling's completely different. The lawyer's tone was evident in certain things she talked about. Sometimes she would bring out a huge stack of law books and read them like as if they were story books for children.
"Here, have some tea." Kotoko smiled as she placed a cup at where I was. I nodded and took a small sip. Nice tea. Kotoko sat opposite and began flipping one of her huge law books. It was kind of refreshing to see a person study, since I never had a chance to continue schooling. Kotoko had a strong span of attention when books were concerned. I sat in comfortable silence as I watched her flip pages. Occasionally she would bring her head up and smile at me.
"Strange that you aren't bored." Kotoko said, still smiling. I blushed a little.
"Well, it's refreshing to see somebody study." I replied.
"I'm gonna work hard to give my baby the best." Kotoko said with determination. I smiled. No surprise for that's bound to happen. I helped myself to more tea as Kotoko resumed studying. The day never felt slow. In fact I'd wished for it to be slower.
"Kotoko-san, I need to use your bathroom." I chuckled and got up. Kotoko smiled and nodded. I made my way to the bathroom. Closing the door I heaved a sigh. I'd sat a little too long. Watching Kotoko study could really make me forget all about peeing. Damn.
As I washed my hands at the sink, I looked around the bathroom. Kotoko's really a strong and independent woman. The bathroom's all clean and odourless. I turned my back and saw a pink windbreaker hanging on the door hook. Kotoko didn't have to wear maternity. I glanced at the windbreaker with a smile.
Until I saw it.
-
I would like to think it wasn't a cycle of some sort. But hell it was. I could really kill someone. That street had remained the same. The cold and windy nights that swept by. The dim lights. The few people who walked by. That store. And all my unwanted memories. The bitterness came back at one big shot, causing me to mutter some excuse and leave Kotoko's house. I didn't care if Kotoko would suspect a thing. I was too filled with hatred and anger. Hatred and anger for that person who started it all. Why did it have to be him of all people? Coincidence? Kotoko didn't look like someone who would be associated with him in any way. The street became too familiar, and it wasn't long before I was greeted with an even familiar sight. He was kissing a woman at one dark corner. But I could still see him. That trademark smirk he would wear. The classic good looks. Those eyes. I felt my fists clenching tightly. I approached them without thinking further. I had to do something.
The woman screamed and took off. I delivered a huge punch across his face, sending a big spurt of blood onto the ground. He gave a surprised look yet he couldn't make out who I am. I grabbed him at his collar and delivered another blow on his face. He yelped and fell onto the ground. I sent another few punches repeatedly onto his face. He had no time to respond, for he was half-drunk. Bastard. I grabbed him by the collar again and pinned him against a wall. I punched his abdomen and kicked him at the groin. He screamed. But I knew there wasn't anyone around who could hear him. The street was too quiet. I punched him again and again. But thing is, the more I punched I could feel my own tears streaming down. I was tearing. For Kotoko. For myself. Maybe for those poor women (and men) who had been deceived by him. Soon he collapsed onto the ground unconscious. I wept uncontrollably by his side. All of a sudden I felt so defenceless. My hands were covered in blood. Maybe some were mine.
"You...you...son of a bitch! Why must you do that to us?" I hollered at the unconscious body. I felt the pain rising inside me all over again. The thought of Kotoko and myself being fooled by him simply hurt. This is for Kotoko, if not for me.
-
"Ranka-san? Ranka-san!" I stirred and saw a familiar face looking at me worriedly and tearfully. Kotoko. I didn't know what to say. Kotoko ran towards me and hugged me tightly. I could feel her tears on my hair and neck. She didn't say anything else. She simply hugged me and cried. A police officer came by and calmed her down. She regained her composure and sat on the chair opposite him.
"Kotoko-san? Mr. Fujioka had assaulted a man an hour ago. The victim is severely injured and I'm afraid Mr. Fujioka is gonna be charged for that." The police officer said in one breath. Kotoko continued to weep by the table. She didn't plead or anything. My guess is that she knew the true reason behind my deed. She had known the truth. Kotoko looked at me with eyes filled with many emotions I couldn't decipher all at once. But I knew one thing for certain. She doesn't hate me.
"Kotoko-san, Mr. Fujioka will be brought to court once he's been charged. During this point of time he will be kept behind in our station..." Those words were said and final. Kotoko sat in dead silence yet her eyes never left me. I could feel my heart shatter. But honestly I never regretted my deed. Kotoko might not like this, but I just had to do something.
With that, Kotoko and I were apart. Physically but never mentally.
-
"Mr. Fujioka? You have a visitor." A warden popped by the cell and informed me. I stirred a little and rubbed my eyes. The warden unlocked the cell and I was led to the visitors' booth. As the door opened, I could hear two voices. One's familiar but the other's not. I stopped abruptly when I was greeted by Kotoko...and someone I'd never seen before.
"Ranka-san...look who's here to see you!" Kotoko smiled proudly as she lifted the other visitor up and closer to the booth. "Ranka-san, this is our baby!" Kotoko said with a slight choke in her voice. At that instance I could feel my eyes welling up. Our baby. Kotoko had given birth to such a pretty baby. I could no longer control myself. I wept as I saw the baby's face, arms and legs. And the smile on Kotoko's face. This is our baby. A baby girl. Despite the barrier, I felt that I'd already managed to touch the baby. Such a soft and gentle calmness. Kotoko looked up at me and said softly, "Baby and I will wait for your return, Ranka-san! Ganbatte ne! Baby and I will also be strong, so please don't worry."
The baby was sleeping so calmly in Kotoko's arms. I managed a weak smile as I looked back at Kotoko with a newly-found determination. For Kotoko and our baby girl.
"Baby, do you like your daddy? Isn't he a nice man?" Kotoko cooed at the baby. Kotoko never thought twice about bringing the baby for a prison visit. She believed that the child should see her father. Her father. Me. Deep inside Kotoko's heart she had already acknowledged me as the father of her child. Our child.
"Ranka-san, would you like to name our baby?" Kotoko smiled. I was at a moment's loss. "You want me to name the baby?" "Yes of course, you're the father." Kotoko mock scolded. I smiled weakly as I racked my brains to think of a name. A simple nice name.
"Haruhi. Let's call our baby Haruhi. Fujioka Haruhi." I said softly. Kotoko beamed upon hearing that name and nodded in agreement. "Yes that's a beautiful name. Full of hope and beauty. Haruhi." Kotoko turned to the baby and cooed, "Haruhi our precious musume..."
It was then Haruhi broke into sudden cries. Sudden but with a hint of delight. Kotoko and I smiled at each other. Our Haruhi.
"I love you and Haruhi..." I said.
Kotoko smiled, "Of course, and I love you too."
(to be continued)