STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY: *Sigh*… this is getting old… No, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, no I'm not profiting monetarily from writing this, no, no and no!!! To live in constant denial…

Quick little message from author: Hidy ho! At long last, the moment you have all been waiting for is finally here!!! Just kidding… this is just an update. Not much happening in this chapter except for my attempt at comedy: you guys be the judge of that. I don't know if I'll get any of you laughing, but I decided to experiment a little. I had a bit of trouble ending the chapter because, although I know where the characters are going, the in between parts can be a real pain in several areas of my body, similar to what probably the opposite of anaesthetized maiming feels like… though I seriously doubt that maiming of the anaesthetized kind is pleasant. Anyhow, this was just a public server announcement brought to you by- whatever; just read! Oh! Also, due credit goes out to the lovely Rhapsody07, from whom I took the liberty of stealing the following words in reference to Kaoru: "opinionated spunk". Thank you very much Rhapsody-chan!

Chapter 7: Kaoru's take on Murphy's Law a.k.a the rules of the game.

"Your move."

"..."

"It's Chinese Checkers, not chess; would ya make your move already?!!"

The only answer Sanosuke received was a sharp intake of breath, but stillness continued to characterize the pawns on the star-shaped board.

"I take it something's on your mind?"

"That would be the understatement of the millennium! Don't you think that after what I did it's only natural for me to have some things on my mind?"

"Well, if I were you I wouldn't worry that much."

"Of course: the difference between you and me is that I have common sense and a fully functional superego capable of distinguishing right from wrong!"

"That you have an over-inflated ego, I'll buy…"

"You never took psychology 01, did you?"

"Listen: you're out here, worrying yourself to the bone and my guess is that he's probably in there, skillfully finding a way to blame himself for your misinterpretation of his good will.

Oh, and, if you're dating Megumi, you have to keep your superego in check: that woman can see wrong in anything, which drives me up the wall most of the time: yes, the fox will be the death of me…"

"What? And just exactly which part of your little speech was supposed to make me feel better?!"

"Making you feel better wasn't my intention; proving why you shouldn't worry was the actual point. Now, can we please get our heads back in the game?"

"Back in the game?! I woke up completely off my game! Playing from Scrabble to Jenga is pretty hard when you're practically seeing double and coping with a mind-splitting headache! Besides; how can I concentrate? Your friend should be angry at me, not at himself!"

"Obviously you don't know Kenshin…"

"No shit Sherlock! None of this would be happening if I knew him!"

"For some reason, I didn't picture you as the kind of girl that swears…"

"Well, I'm in a foul mood here and I have every reason to express my frustration through- I don't owe you any explanations!"

"You know, it's exactly that kind of attitude that created this whole mess to begin with…"

The hot air balloon deflated and Kaoru couldn't shake off, more than a feeling, the knowledge that he was… right.

Sagara Sanosuke was right yet again and Kamiya Kaoru was parked in a parallel universe, not for the first time in oh-so-many days; could things possibly get any weirder?

"You're… right. It was my recklessness that put is in this situation; that and my overly zealous mouth! I guess I should control my temper and not be so quick to judge, ne?"

Correction: it is only after one of the most tempestuous and stubborn persons on the face of the planet admits their wrongdoings and gives due credit to he who least expects it that nothing could top off the freaky-factor, not by a long shot anyway…

And then, like magic, Murphy's Law gained corporeal shape and a nasal voice. It was with an innate elegance and the airs of a princess that one of the most beautiful women Kaoru had ever seen haughtily pranced into the loft, at the ready to give the owner of the red marbles a piece of her mind, and then some.

Wearing a light birch colored cardigan and salt-stained jeans, the cinnamon eyed beauty seemed, more than a little irritated, outright furious. Her satiny dark hair settled itself neatly over her shoulders, down to the small of her back and, if the tight line her thin cherry lips were drawn into was any indication, Sano was really in for it!

"JUST WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING TO OUR BABY?!!"

Kaoru's eyes bulged halfway out of her sockets, her pupils dilated and contracted at incalculable speed and she literally heard her jaw connect with the floor.

Sanosuke and this gorgeous woman were an item? Sanosuke and this knockout of a woman had a child together?!  Sanosuke was responsible for another living, breathing human being?!!

Introducing the long shot…  

For the young high school senior, the most disturbing part in this whole pantomime was how… bored and unresponsive her game board adversary acted.

Here was the mother of their child, complaining about his lack of affection for their baby, blaming him for the infant suddenly taking ill, and all he could do was… yawn and roll his eyes? Had he no heart?!! Sure, she had taken him for the carefree type, but never had she deemed it possible for him to be such a ruthless monster!

How could he accept such criticism regarding the care that he bestowed upon his very own flesh and blood with such… ambivalence?!! Was he really responsible for the babe's poor condition? And if so, why wasn't the mother pressing charges? Was she missing something here?

"How could you do that to Max?!! Are you really that much of a moron?!! One night Sano, I leave him with you for one night and already our poor baby is suffering the consequences!!!"

"Listen babe, don't blame me; by the time any strange stuff happened I was already passed out, otherwise I would remember!"

"Passed out?!! Is that supposed to make things better?!! Let me get this straight: you were unconscious while your blockhead fraternity buddies toyed with OUR BABY??? If before I thought you an idiot, you have just landed yourself into an exclusive category of asininity reserved only for those brainless enough to trip over their own feet!!!"

"Hey! That only happened once, and, in my defense, I was dead on my feet! Besides, it's not like I let them mess around with Max; I just wasn't aware of them doing anything out of the norm with our baby."

"Don't you dare take that tone with me Sagara Sanosuke! You did a terrible thing and I rue the day that we ever decided to have Max!!!"

"Well, keep ruing then 'cause I never agreed to anything, you just showed up at my doorstep with the runt! You never asked me if I wanted him; you manipulated me into keeping him!"

By this point, the female effigy of stunning magnificence looked about ready to either faint, either pounce on her insensitive boyfriend full force.

 As her skin mutated from a creamy china doll shimmer into every color of the rainbow and finally settled on remaining a bloody beet red, her impressive good looks faded, her every feature marred by a dark menacing scowl, and in its stead raw anger cast shadows over her face: it was truly a wonder how, confronted with this frightening sight, Sano did not waver and continued to be as obstinate as ever!

"How dare you Sano!!! How can you say such a horrible thing! How can you act so-"

"What's all the racket about guys?" a third voice questioned calmly.

Kaoru grimaced and shut her eyes, unwilling to witness how Kenshin would be shred to pieces and then hungrily devoured for interrupting this heated lovers' spat.

She was not usually the kind of person to cower under someone's stare, but she had to admit that the display of fiery tempers that these two individuals exhibited when together in a room was bloodcurdling, spine-chilling and intimidating. It would take someone really dense to willingly get caught in the middle of this…

"Kenshin stay out of this!!!"  Sanosuke's voice bounced back from every corner of the apartment angrily.

"Oh Kenny, I'm so glad you're here! You would never believe what that good-for-nothing friend of yours did to Max! And- to top it off- now he claims he doesn't even want him!

Living with such a wonderful man as yourself, how can he not walk in your footsteps or at least pick up a thing or two from your brilliant example!" she exclaimed, possessively latching on to a flustered Kenshin's arm.

"It's a freaking poodle Megumi! What the hell am I supposed to do with a poodle?!! And will ya quit hogging onto Kenshin; he's my best friend and you're my girlfriend which makes this whole situation seem a little indecent! I mean, there's even a person in this room that you don't even know and this is the first impression that she will forever have of you, of us!"

"As far as I'm concerned, there can be no us if you can't handle yourself like a decent man! I'm not the one being indecent; I'm not the one who got poor Max drunk, I'm not the one who left him… bald! I'm not the one who caused him eternal psychological trauma! Tell him Kenny!!! Tell him what a horrible man he is for behaving that way!!!"

"Well… umh… Sano… it seems that Megumi… umh… she…umh…" Kenshin faltered, unsure of what he could say to appease his friends and get Megumi off of him.

"Kenshin stay out of this!!! We already know that the fox here is gonna trick you into siding with her so don't you even open your mouth to emit a squeak!" the taller man hollered.

"Lash out and threaten your best friend won't you? You always have to be so barbaric about everything! Makes one wonder why I've stuck by you for so long! I could do so much better than you Sanosuke; I could have someone like Kenshin!"

Meanwhile, Kaoru sat in her chair, pressing her hands against her ears in a desperate attempt to block out the supersonic sounds of the insults randomly getting tossed around.

Here she was in a stranger's apartment, hung over, with a couple at each other's throats, fighting over what she initially thought was childcare but turned out to be 'dogcare', while the woman called Megumi tried to use a timid acquaintance as her wild card: how did she get herself into this?  And could they stop being so loud? After all, she was hung over and they were doing nothing to help her soothe her pounding head which was currently on the verge of explosion with a blaring 'boom' and everything!

Also, what was up with the 'fox' attaching herself to the smaller man as if she were just another one of his body parts? That was her rescuer, not the other way around! Sure, maybe she hadn't gotten up to thanking him yet after being so rude, but still, she already had a boyfriend, she had no right to take away- hunh? What was going on? Kaoru barely knew the man and, as a result of that, she had accused him of being a pervert and taking advantage of her a full 20 minutes earlier; when had things taken such a drastic turn for the- was it worse or better?

"…you nitwitted rooster head!"

"Maybe if you weren't such a sly, deceitful little fox none of this would be happening!"

"Guys…" ever the referee to Sano and Megumi's jousts, Kenshin lamely attempted to break it up.

"Oh, I highly doubt that! With a deficient like you, something would always manage to be in the way!"

"Guys, you both know that this won't get you anywhere-"

"Deficient?!! Deficient?!! You really think highly of yourself, don't ya?!! Well, even a deficient like me would know not to pick out a poodle when choosing a pet for both a girl and a guy!!!"

"Now, now: there's no need to get all heated up over no-"

"Perhaps if you had conceded to go to the pet shop with me we could have made the choice together, but nooooo! You had a game to watch on TV, remember?!!"

"Megumi, that doesn't sound fa-"

"Well, we could have gone to the pet shop the next day but, of course, the princess here wanted to go right away and she couldn't, for the life of her, be a little patient so we could do that together."

"Now Sano, calling Megumi names won't-"

"You're one to talk!"

"Oh, come off it Megumi!"

"No, you come off it!"

"No, you-"

"SHUT UP!!!"

Everyone's heads bolted towards the enraged fourth voice that had abruptly joined their cacophony- well, that is everyone except Sano, who was too busy struggling against a Chinese Checkers board that had mysteriously landed in his mouth.

"I don't know any of you people, but from what I can gather you seriously have issues!

Sano: that's no way to treat a lady! Megumi-that's your name, right?- your boyfriend is right here so, would you mind unhanding Kenshin?!! And Kenshin: what were you doing letting Megumi curl up against you like that?!! I have a headache and you people aren't helping any! Also… a poodle? I would have to agree with Sano! God, this is so weird: I am agreeing with Sanosuke! Mind you, I don't approve of animal testing or any form of animal torture… You know what? This day is just too weird for me; you people are just too weird for me!!!" Kaoru vociferated, no longer able to stand in the sidelines, by far too annoyed with their senseless bickering… and Megumi's improper behavior concerning her boyfriend's best friend.

"Says the girl who threw up all over Kenny's shoes last night!" breezed in the catty comeback, courtesy of one crabby Takani Megumi.

Well, it was definitive: anything that can go wrong will go wrong + anything that can get weirder will get weirder = Murphy and Kaoru's Law, all meshed disastrously into one.

Glued to her spot and gaping in shock, she experienced just how powerful this daily combo could, at times, prove to be- and just when she was feeling superior to everyone in the room too! What a fantastic way to get rammed off a self-made pedestal and get knocked down three or four pegs simultaneously!

"Oh, you didn't know? My apologies. Then again, Kenny here is such a sweet man that he probably didn't have the heart to tell you; I should have known as much…" Megumi continued to denigrate, saccharine and any other chemical component faking sugary sweetness coating her voice.

Kaoru glared and decided immediately that there was something about this Megumi girl that she didn't particularly take kindly to. After aiming pointy objects at her with but the power of her mind and her mirrors to a very cross soul, she resumed her sulking and came to the conclusion that she would never again be able to look Kenshin in the eye, not after puking all over his shoes!

"Wow missy! I have to say: not even I have ever managed to screw up as badly as you! I mean, you even heaved all over Kenshin's Dockers's? That which takes the cake my friend…" the brunet declared, breaking out into spurts of laughter soon after his humorous deposition.

The question was: how small and insignificant can a person actually feel? How tiny a frame can a person wish it possible to shrink into?

 A squirrel-sized Kaoru? No, too big. A mouse sized Kaoru? Nope, still too big. An ant-sized Kaoru? Not small enough. What was smaller than an ant? An atom? How about becoming just ONE subatomic particle of Kaoru? Even then, she would still feel too large for this room.

 Ah, to pull a Houdini… How good that would feel!

"I'm… I'm sorry Kenshin. I'm sorry for… retching over your shoes, for not… for not being as nice as I should have been, for… for… falsely accusing you of… of… do I have to say it again? It was pretty embarrassing the first time around! I'm just… this is hard… I didn't mean to be so rude or mean or judgmental or… I could go on and on…" she quavered her thousands of apologies and regrets, willing the floor to suck her in.

"It's okay: you were just a bit confused, that's all. I suggest that we put this behind us, deal?" Kenshin's smooth voice sounded out, his open palm stretched towards her in a friendly gesture of possible reconciliation.

The short girl stared at the lines, marks and patterns on his hand, at the calloused skin, at the long thin fingers:

"Let's see… that's a life line with three clear ramifications, a pretty long heart line with plenty of so-called 'ovals' and, finally, a head line that crosses the entire palm. Now, as for that weird line below the Jupiter mount…"

When Kenshin awkwardly cleared his throat, she realized that she had been so entranced by examining his hand that she had forgotten to keep up with why he had held it out to her in the first place. Spacing out, always spacing out…

Now, Kaoru should have just accepted the peace treaty amiably- emphasis on the word 'should'- but, that would have been very unlike her.

Here she stood, metamorphosed overnight into an immature, prejudiced, bad-mannered, cheeky shrew and the guy she had scornfully stomped all over was… happily and easily forgiving her?!! What was wrong with this picture? Was this boy some sort of masochist? Did he let everyone kick him around like that? Well, that most certainly wouldn't do!

"Why are you forgiving me so easily?" she demanded to know, left eyebrow twitching madly.

"Hunh?!!" he blinked, taken aback by her entirely unexpected reaction. She was just full of surprises, wasn't she?

"I said: why would you choose to forgive me without bothering to make me grovel a little or, at the very least, earn it?"

"Well… I guess… umh… because you were confused… you didn't mean all those things you said and, when you were drunk, you weren't in control of yourself." he answered, satisfied with his honest response.

"You don't know that! You don't know me! You don't know if I'm just… a big meanie or something and- I don't  know- go around thinking bad things about people… and stuff! The point is: are you this lenient with everyone? You can't do that! You can't let people push you around like that! You can't let them think that you're just one big dope because you're kind! You have to be tougher than that or else everyone will take advantage of you!"

One sub-atomic particle of Kaoru had just growth spurted into the Oprah-soapbox version of opinionated spunk incarnated. The fearless, stubbornly unyielding Kamiya was back with a vengeance… or more like a new and improved self-help guide.

As for Kenshin:

"…Oro?"

Nothing but net! If the expression is multifunctional and fits, use it.

"Does he always let people off the hook this easily?!!" the unbelieving female questioned, addressing the other two people present in the room.

With a mixture of embarrassment and sympathy for their friend and wearing patronizing masks of resignation, they both wasted no time in nodding their assent.

Heaving an exasperated sigh and shaking her head in mock denial, Kaoru grasped on to the long ago proffered extremity:

"Kenshin, clearly you have a lot to learn. I know life doesn't come with directions, instructions, or perfectly set out rules, but obviously we have a long, hard road ahead of us. Now: what I'm I gonna do with you?"

Sano chuckled. Megumi had to hide her smile behind one dainty hand. Kaoru continued to roll her head from side to side in disapproval and as for Kenshin… Kenshin continued to ask himself over and over just what exactly had he done in a past life to deserve this!

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Reviewer Responses:

To Fangirl: I'm glad you noticed that I was trying to make a comparison of Kaoru and Kenshin's first encounter in the previous chapter!!! That and your entire review made me happy! As for the Kenshin-cookie bribe? I think that you're going to have to try that on both my muse and my university teachers: they're the ones in charge! Whether I update fast or not is really up to them, sadly *sniff sniff*. I hope you liked this chappie!

         To pensquared: I hope this chapter wasn't too hard on your neurons as well! Thanks for the review!

To Rhaphsody07: Kaoru= opinionated spunk! Did you see where I used that line of yours in my story??? Is that enough for you to realize just how inspiring and helpful your reviews can be for this humble writer? ^_~ Just for you, more Sano weirdness in this chapter!!! Yey!!! Thanks for the review, it really helped me, especially to write the closing of this chapter: I needed a reminder of just how loud-mouthed and true to her self Kaoru can be!

To kouri: Yes, Kaoru was harsh and now she paid the prize… sort of, anyway. I'm glad you reviewed; I like your story a lot so, for me, it's an honor to hear that you like my story! As for clearing up the misunderstanding, I think they managed to move on past it: picking on Kenshin's goody-two-shoed-ness will do just that! I hope to see more reviews from you! Bye!!! ^_^

To missaw: I updated!!! Although, not as soon as you wanted me too… *shivers* I wonder; could it be that death threats will start piling in soon? Be afraid, be very afraid! @_@ Yes, I am also quite pleased with writing about Kenshin in nothing but a towel: every fangirl's dream come true, ne? hahah. Thankies for the review!!! Till next chapter!

To Billabong Bob: continued…

To Ocean Fish: That's right… I am EVIL!!! Bwahahahaha!!! Umh… pardon my ignorance, but: what's a binder? I'm sorry! I really don't know!!! I'm just not that good with computers is all! Although, I have to say, whatever it is, it sounds like a good thing, something I should profusely be thanking you for before even knowing what a binder actually is! As for your promises of updating your story… those have officially become jokes! Do update soon!!! I REALLY want to find out what happens next with the piano people! Okay, so I make my characters suffer a little- you know you like it! And before I forget *bows low, low, lower… falls flat on face* thank you, thank you, thank you. You are, by far, one of my most faithful reviewers and I honestly don't know what I'd do without you! So… thank you, thank, thank you!!!  

Well people, do forget do, forget re, but never EVER forget to review ME!!! Seriously, any comments, any suggestion, anything is immensely appreciated! You are all amazing! Thanks for liking my ficcie!!!

Now… "I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz…"