Family Shame

By Princess Alexandria

Chapter 3: Scars

(partly inspired by some lyrics from Papa Roach)

1993

"I don't know why I'm doing this." Corrine muttered as she felt her stomach churn. She stared at the bag she'd packed as soon as she'd heard the news. It had just been automatic to her, but now she was analyzing it and this was dangerous.

"Because they are clan." Katara spoke softly and Corrine flinched, before turning to look at her friend.

"No, they aren't. This is the closest I've ever had to clan." Corrine spoke with more emotion about that then she normally let herself. "And they'd destroy me and all of you if they knew." Her voice cracked as she imagined that horror. Jason would claim if she was going to join a gargoyle clan, she was in essence a gargoyle and should be put done. He really hated them all, more than before Demona killed their father. He hunted because of that.

Would telling him why their father really died help at all? Corrine really doubted he was sane enough to listen or believe her. Canmores went insane with this hunt, and he was the most insane of them all. To kill gargoyles was insane, it was murder, and they didn't even see it.

"But they are still clan." Katara spoke and Corrine had no idea how the female could say this about hunters. Corrine's hands were clenching her socks, the last items to be put in the bag as if she were trying to strangle them. "I know you pay a high price, being a part of that line, but you still care or you wouldn't have bought the ticket when they lost their mother."

Corrine's eyes became watery. "I'll have to kill them if they ever come here." Breathing was hard and Katara pulled her into a strong hug.

"You pay such a price Corrine, and you don't deserve this." Katara caressed her hair. "To be torn between clans like this, you don't deserve this."

"I love them, but sometimes I really wish the Demon kept her promise to kill them." Corrine felt horrible, evil, to think such things, but to die by Demona's hands was almost expected in her family. It was just about as big an honor as they got, which showed how insane they were. "I wouldn't have to worry I'd have to do it, if she'd just done it." Demona had spared her this before by killing her father for Corrine, but she didn't hunt down hunters on a regular basis.

"Do you really feel that way?" Katara pulled back and stared into her face.

"They'll never stop unless someone stops them. If I thought for a moment they'd find a real clan, I'd go after them. I have to." Corrine tried to take a deep breath, but it was shaky.

"And yet when they are hurting, you rush to their side." Katara's touch was still gentle, her voice somewhat confused.

"Because I love them, they're my family." Corrine spoke, the pain in her voice making it crack. "And I need to go. I have to drive to Paris to catch the plane. I can't have them figuring out where I am, and there are no gargoyles in Paris."

"I wish I could go with you." Katara spoke gently. "You're my sister too, and I wish I could support you in this." Corrine was hugged again. "Call me if you need to talk."

………………………….

The house looked the same, even after all these years. Corrine pulled up into the driveway and stared at it. It took a moment to see how the plants were a bit larger, or that there was a tree missing. She shifted the car into park and just sat there, looking at the house she'd lived in after her own mother died.

The truck was all the hint that someone was there. She had no idea who owned it, but Corrine suspected it was one of her brothers. With a heavy sigh Corrine opened the car door of her rental and slipped out. Her eyes traveled over the yard and she saw another car sitting beyond the large truck.

Her feet took her slowly to the door, and she used one hand to hold her purse to her shoulder as she stepped up the stairs to the front door.

It felt odd to knock on this door, Corrine thought, but she felt uncomfortable and unwelcome, and that was just because she'd been gone so many years. If they knew what she'd done with the time she knew they'd rip her apart. Footsteps from inside the house came toward the front door and Corrine took a deep breath and shifted her stance as she stared at the door.

Jon was a man, Corrine thought as she stared at her little brother, feeling a shock at the proof that time really had passed. She watched his confusion fade as he smiled. "Corrine!" he turned partly to the side. "Hey guys, it's Corrine!"

…………………………………..

Corrine stood outside the gas station late at night, with a phone held to her ear. When it was answered her shoulders finally started to relax. "Hello."

"Hey Kitten." Corrine's voice was weary as she spoke.

"Corrine." Katara spoke softly, "how are you? Are they okay?" And it was so wrong for a gargoyle to ask how Canmores were. Corrine felt a bit stunned at Katara's caring, even to ask that, knowing Corrine cared about the monsters that hunted the clans. Corrine was always stunned at the Canmore viciousness, the claims that gargoyles were monsters, when the people who had been kindest to Corrine in her life had always been gargoyles.

"They're a bit shocked still." Corrine spoke quietly and stared out away from the building to the cars on the road. "They're older." And more dangerous, her mind filled in.

"Few people get younger." Katara teased lightly, clearly trying to be comforting.

"They scare me." Corrine spoke while pulling the phone closer to her mouth so she could speak quieter. "Robyn's in the grocery store near me, and I just needed…" Corrine's voice shook. "I'm clan right?"

"You are clan." Katara spoke firmly. "You are always welcome here, because it is your home."

Corrine took a shaky breath. "They've gotten more convinced they are right, times just made them worse." Her mind went to the rants she'd heard earlier and the scolding for her running from her destiny. Jason hadn't spared her until Robyn and Jon both told him to stop, but it was clear they were just doing that because Corrine hadn't been there long, not because they thought he was wrong. "I can't," Her words trailed off as her eyes filled with tears. "I shouldn't have come. I can't change them, and I'm really afraid I'm going to have to stop them someday." She stared down at the ground. "They can't see they're drowning in this destiny of ours, they can't see it's killing them. I can't fix this."

"You don't have to. Corrine, you live your own life with honor." Katara spoke gently, her voice a motherly caress. "I'm proud to call you clan, and I know you have your own demons. Don't borrow theirs."

"I should go, I just needed to hear I belonged somewhere." Corrine spoke as she glanced across the street to the store.

"You do, you belong here. Una would never have it any other way." Katara's words soothed Corrine's pain at seeing, fully believing, that she could never go home again. "And someone has to be here to keep Scottie humble."

"She'll never be humble." Corrine smiled just a little, before saying her goodbyes.

………………………………..

The bedroom seemed so much smaller than it used to, Corrine thought as she moved to lay down on the bed she used to sleep on in this house. The sound of someone washing their face in the bathroom across the hall was a clear reminder she wasn't alone. There was a creaking of wood as someone walked past her room to their own.

The soft knock on her door came after the bathroom door creaked, and Corrine shifted to watch as the bedroom door opened. The light from the bathroom made Jon's blonde hair glow a little as he slipped inside.

Corrine's body tensed for a moment, until she saw the expression on his face. For a moment, even though he looked more like his mother than his father, Corrine had a horrible flashback to another man standing in her bedroom. Jon didn't look dangerous though, he looked at her with so many questions in his eyes. It made him look younger, more familiar.

Corrine guessed it was Jon's turn. Jason had spent the start of her visit talking, interrogating, and scolding. Robyn took Corrine shopping and did her prying more gently. Jon hadn't been alone with Corrine for a moment yet and Corrine took a subtle breath as she prepared for another round of "why did you leave, don't you understand this horrible war will take all of us."

"They think you abandoned us." His first volley of words hurt, but Corrine just sat up in her bed and stared at him. "But you never were a warrior. Corrine, don't let them talk you into joining us. I don't want to bury any more family right now."

Corrine just gaped at him, stunned that for once her safety came first with a member of her family. She'd worked hard to make them think she was a crappy hunter, and it worked. Still, Jason had wanted her to join them, and Robyn as usual agreed with him. Jon's words were new. Part of Corrine wanted to trust him just for that, but she said nothing about how stupid hunting was at all. "I'm not staying, no matter what they say. I can't do it."

"He wants to kill Demona so badly he talks about it all the time. He's put a lot of money in to trying to find her." Corrine's heart clenched at hearing that. She hadn't done that herself, out of respect for the fact Demona didn't tell her where she was, but if the Hunters were after her, shouldn't Corrine find her first? "We don't look for others, just her." That was something at least, Corrine thought, but still it bothered her.

…………………………………..

"You're staying!" Jason yelled at her the next day. "And you'll take over the research into where that bitch Demon is!" It was a bit into the argument, but Corrine still felt it came out of nowhere. "You have a responsibility Corrine, and you'll damn well suck up what little courage you have and get with the program."

Her bedroom door slammed behind her, because she was done arguing. She could feel her hands shaking, because Jason really was just like their father, and he had the keys to her car now. She couldn't stay, or he'd trap her completely. Corrine had hoped it wouldn't be like this, but she pulled her bag out and started to fill it.

Once she was packed she pulled out a pen and wrote on the window she was escaping from, because she had no paper.

"I do love you all. Never forget that. My path is different, it always has been and always will be." She wrote with shaky hands. She didn't plan to see them again, or if she did it wouldn't be a good situation. "The hunt is nothing but insanity, and I refuse. Turn back while you can, the earth is filled with enough of our blood." She would have written more, but she heard footsteps. Corrine crawled out of the window and moved toward the cars.

Jon's keys were in her hand, because her brother finally stood up for her. It made her heart ache to think of the argument he'd get when they discovered he handed her his keys. Maybe he'd tell them she stole them.

………………………..

"I'm going to take at least three weeks." Corrine spoke into the phone. Germany was full of people and she was getting herself lost in it. If she was followed it would be best to be caught away from home.

"You are so cautious." Una sighed. "I can't blame you for it though, do what you need to."

"Yeah." Corrine sighed and leaned against the wall, her head hanging lower.

"But don't forget your clan needs you." Una spoke so softly. "And you better call Katara often, your sister is rather lost without you." Corrine's heart clenched as she thought of her real sister, but Katara really was more of a sister to her than Robyn had ever been.