Hellooo mega peeps!
Many thanks to those who have followed and favourited, and a special thanks to WeAreShippers and Tiffythetitan! You're awesome :)
Now, on with the story.
Likewise.
It's a delicious word. Well, at least the subject the word came from is rather delicious. Okay, I need to stop because I'm making her out to be pudding or something. But seriously, I can't help but recall it over and over in my head like its Groundhog Day; noting her playful tone and the way she uttered the word with such endearment - I don't believe I can view Naomi in the same light ever again. At least now I will know how amusing and kind she can be when she's trying to act like she doesn't give a shit - because I know she does, and it's not just in the way she speaks to me, but in the way she actually engages with me on a regular basis. It's a gradual happening; a slow burning assembly of our pieces to build a strong foundation. I see them slot into place everytime she's with me, strengthening our bond. It's in the way we communicate often with the use of no words, and merely revel in each others company. It's in the little things, like where we steals glances of each other or where she walks me home without even asking where I live – which goes to show that she knows me more than she's letting on, and that really these pieces have been forming together for quite a while now without either of our knowledge.
Last night solidified this belief for me and I feel like it brought us to a whole new level of intimacy and I'm positive that she felt it too. Yes, we kissed once at a party while we were in middle school, and for all intents and purposes it was a really nice be it short-lived kiss, but I didn't feel then what I do know; I didn't know her as I do now, and because of that it's so much more, as it's interwoven with feeling. Holding her hand, hugging her, and just speaking to her has me feeling so much more now than I did when we kissed.. and if this is what I feel without being tangibly involved with her, I really can't imagine how I'll feel when-if.. No, when it'll happen.
It's so much more than what I had with Imogen, which is insane because I slept with her, I shared myself with her in ways I never thought I would. It was easy, it was good, and it felt good. But that spark which I wanted and craved for every time I kissed her, held her, and was with her was never present and I could never find it.
With Naomi it's constant, instantaneous, eternally there. It surrounds us all the time. And I know that's it's a matter of when as opposed to if it will happen at all. All because of one word; one silly word, and it's like continuous fireworks inside my stomach.
"You're happy." I look to Effy next to me on the couch, noting how she's observing me with her deep, probing eyes. It's like my feelings are being broadcast this very moment, and she's just sitting there absorbing, evaluating them. And for the first time, I don't care.
"I am."
"It looks good on you." She says the strangest things sometimes, but this feels true - appropriate, so I can't exactly argue with her on that one.
"Seems you're not the only one." I follow her gaze across the common room until it rests on Naomi, who immediately darts her eyes away from me the second I find her. She actually appears shy, and affirms this theory when her eyes return to me a beat later with a small timid smile corrupting those gorgeous lips of hers. She carries a tinge of pink across her cheeks while her eyes watch me, and I'm sure I look the same as her right now. Alike in nerves and identical in happiness; we mirror each other.
And all I can hear is her tone, and the way she says it, as if feeling the word out with her tongue: likewise.
And fuck me if it doesn't make me smile that much more.
"Fucking boring this is, man. Hey Effs, how about we find ourselves a nice corner and let our genitals do some talkin'? Won't be the first time we've left them to it, eh babes?" I turn my head at the wrong time, catching sight of Cook grinning at Effy and feeling up his crotch at the end of the couch. Suddenly this couch feels rather small and dirty; guess Cook really knows how to taint anything.
"No." She answers, not even looking at him.
"Not even for old times' sake? Ya know that fuck was first-class."
"Once was enough. Didn't take you for second shags, anyway, Cook?" I nearly miss it, the way he looks at her. I recognise it because I've been there myself; it's uncontrollable, intolerable and damn right painful. That kind of longing only drives to the path of despair. But as I blink, it's as if it never happened at all, his face contorting to portray shits and giggles, and for the first time he doesn't fool me. He actually, somehow, genuinely likes Effy.
And she's none the wiser.
Somehow that doesn't sit right with me; I mean, this is Effy we're talking about, she knows everything. Yet this, it goes to show that she's actually not as perceptive as she likes to believe herself to be. She can't predict what can happen, at least not always. Life really can be muddled, even to the clearest of us.
"Beggars can't be choosers, love. Either it's you or little Mary over there." He nods and winks at me, donning that stupid grin of his. I see through your shit, Cook.
"Why don't ya lovely ladies reacquaint with each other, yeah? Show Cookie some more girl-on-girl action? Slip in the good ol' tongue. I need me some entertainment, Cookie gets bored girls, gotta share the love." Though his shit is quite thick.
"Fuck sake, Cook, you really are disgusting sometimes."
"Na babe, I'm pure filth, so how about it? Ya know it can't all be veg when the meat is in the house, cooking up an appetite. Can give ya a preview to get ya all warmed up?" I don't answer, not dignifying him with a response this time. We remain silent for a moment, the stillness borderline uncomfortable. When Effy does reply, it seems like she's not even mindful of the conversation at all, and merely remarks to cease it.
"Give it a rest, Cook." I watch as Cook physically deflates into the couch, his body seeming to shrink into it as his bravado withers. It's odd to see, I'm so used to seeing him be so crass, but now he's shutting up like a wounded puppy because Effy's not paying him attention. Kind of reminds me of how Freddie looks at Effy sometimes. She really does have them wrapped around her finger. She's creating a web I don't think she's even aware of, trapping all of these guys in it.. Fuck knows how that one will work itself out. Though given by the way they look at her, someone is bound to be hurt.
I follow Effy's line of sight until I see that she's actually staring at Freddie, who is speaking with JJ across the room. Cook knows as much, which makes it that more awkward. Silence befalls us again, which makes me sigh loudly and look to the wall, wondering how much longer we have until our lesson begins so we can fuck off to it.
"Naomikins! How about we leave these wet fish and go back to mine and get to it?" I bring my eyes back to see Naomi standing at the end of the couch, her gaze firmly on Cook. I notice Effy's attention is back as she smirks at Naomi, anticipating that something is about to happen.
"How can I say this as politely as I can.." We watch unanimously as Naomi folds her arms across her chest, biting her bottom lip slightly as she contemplates her reply. She then cocks her head to the side, her eyes notably glassy, if not resolute.
"I'd rather be impaled on a spike being eaten by vultures than be sat on your schoolboy shriveled cock." I hear Effy pleasantly chortle beside me as I giggle myself, not in the least surprised by Naomi's response.
"You wound me, princess." He exaggerates, clutching his chest as his eyes sparkle with mirth, clearly finding the humour in it rather than her true opinion. At least, I hope it is. I look to Naomi who seems equally charmed, smirking at Cook. Their friendship is one I've never understood, and I don't believe I ever will. He can be so vile, but if she talks to the person who I only manage to catch glimpses of, then maybe he's not entirely douchery after all. Maybe he's just, as Freddie said, misunderstood.
"How about you thrice roll around together, Cookie can just watch?" Naomi laughs at this, pulling at the strap of her bag.
"Did you just say thrice? Cook, do you even know what that means?"
"Another way of saying three, right?"
"In a degree or manner, but that was grammatically incorrect. Christ Cook, what did they teach you in school, how to colour inside the lines?"
"Na babes, too busy shagging outside the lines to care about colouring in." I roll my eyes at his idiocy and push myself up from the couch as the bell rings. I watch as a flow of unintelligible words stream from his orifice as Cook stands up, that I just know revolves around sexual innuendos.
Misunderstood, he said. Misunderstood, I thought. Misunderstood, maybe not. Maybe just a douche.
I slowly go to take my usual seat that I have with JJ, mentally preparing myself for an hour of History, when I feel a hand on my elbow.
"Sit with me?" I turn to Naomi who looks down with her hopeful blue eyes, before instantly dropping her hand and looking away embarrassed, as if realising what she had done. She's so endearing and she has no idea. I bring my bag back up to my shoulder and nod my head just the once.
"Sure." We move then, joining the bustle of the room as people allocate to different parts of the classroom. I follow her until we're at the back, my eyes looking to her curiously as she takes a seat, smiling gently to me as she pulls out the accompanying chair. I smile brightly in return before I quickly detain myself, and bring my bottom lip in to chew, not wanting to seem too excited by the fact that Naomi Campbell just pulled out a chair for me – how suave, no.. How Naomi.
I sit down and nothing really happens, but it's relaxed, easy. We remain quiet, listening to and observing the others in the room until it dies down, the teacher now present. I'm not sure how long I zone out for, but I'm brought back to the room when I feel something touch the hand that rests on my lap. That something is distinguished when I feel certain fingertips trace the back of my hand, tentatively trailing back and forth; leaving flickers in their wake. It's only when she delicately picks up my hand and interlaces our fingers together that the fire truly comes around blazing. It starts from the palm of my hand and shoots up my arm to spread to certain areas such as my heart and stomach. But it doesn't stop there, this sensation must arrest my mind, because I can't for the life of me form a coherent sentence to utter to her; to express how fucking amazing this feels. I just stare at our clasped hands on my lap, watching as her thumb trails back and forth, that serves to intoxicate me further than thought possible in this current sensory overload.
How does she do this to me?
After a while I manage to turn my head and look at her, completely blown away by her ability to reduce me to mush and render me speechless. She has me feeling so ridiculously high by conducting such a simple motion, but I know that nothing is ever simple when it comes to Naomi; I've known that all along.
She doesn't acknowledge me as she stares straight ahead, listening intently to Mr Gazelle as he speaks. I have no idea what's happening outside this little bubble that Naomi has me in, and in all honesty: I'm a willing prisoner. It's only the small smile that barely ghosts her lips that indicates in any way that she's aware of the effects it's having on me, which is making me feel rather devious in turn. I lift our hands up, which causes Naomi to turn her head slightly my way but not entirely, her eyes still looking to the front as she tries to work out what's going on. I move our hands to her lap, and we remain like that for a while so I can bestow her with a false sense of security before I carry through and execute my plan. It's only when I see Naomi's attention wholly on the class again that I detach my hand from hers. This causes her to exhale under her breath and blink, her concentration broken as she stares down, watching me out of the corner of her eye. I relocate my hand until it hovers awkwardly over her leg, trying to prompt myself to continue and do what I set out to. I have to eliminate these nerves, destroy these demons. I am worthy, I am.
Eventually I place my hand on her clothed knee, noting the colourful striped tights she dons as she inhales sharply and dart her eyes to me, startled by this turn of events. She withdraws her eyes from me then and returns it to the front, swallowing and trying to calm herself down. I know because I can see it, I can feel it - she's actually trembling. Maybe I've gone too far? At this thought I pull my hand away, only for her to grab it and place it right back down; her hand staying over mine to emphasise what she wants. A couple seconds go by and she slowly removes her hand, leaving mine there as she tries to listen to the discussion that seems to be in full force now, and quite a lively one at that. But I feel completely disconnected from the happenings in this room, finding it impossible to connect with anything at all. My only source of attachment is Naomi. She's my exception to the rule every time. Every rule I've ever made infact, and I think I've always known that.
I'm no longer conscious of what I'm doing as I stroke her knee, my hand independent from the signals shooting from my brain as it gradually moves, travelling upwards. It's painstakingly slow and delicate. It's wonderful, beautiful and alluring to watch Naomi come undone before me, because of me. I recognise the sudden changes in her behaviour; from the way she takes shorter breaths to the way her eyes quickly lose focus and dither down to me, and to the front. It all stands to confirm that she feels this too; that this is overwhelming her as much as it is me.
I feel so connected to her, and I have only ever felt that kind of intense bond with Katie before as she's my twin, but this, this is different. It tugs me in ways I've never truly felt on earth, it's effortless, and yet so significant. It's like we're actually tethered to one another. I feel like we're essentially together in this moment as I breathe in and she out. As I touch, she feels. As I see, she blinds. We're a unit; channeling these feelings, experiencing them together and coming out aligned and stronger in every sense imaginable.
As I carefully and smugly reach her thigh, noting how her attention is solely on me now, I hear the familiar sound blare out into the classroom which usually produces such relief, but in this case has me feeling rather - well, extremely frustrated. Why must the bell ring at the wrong time and yet never when I need it to? These bells must have a sixth sense or something – a sick sense. I pull my hand away and assess the class, thankful that everyone seems too busy packing up their things, completely oblivious to what's been going on at the back of the room.
How did time go that fast?
"What a stimulating lesson! I've not felt so strongly about something as I did in this lesson in so long, don't you agree, Naomi? Emily?" I look up to see JJ standing there, his eyes wide as he absorbs this hour's knowledge: information which I will never retain, because my sights were on something a lot more important in my opinion. I look to Naomi who smirks at me, a certain glint in her eye, which makes me confident that we are infact thinking on the same wave length as each other in that respect.
"I definitely had fun." She says watching me closely as the subtext forces me to look away, unable to meet her eye. I can't help but react though as the goosebumps erupt all over my skin; the merriment of her sly remark striking me down as I ponder her answer. As she stands up, I find the courage to look up, finally. I watch as she puts on her bag and pushes in her chair before I decide to give her a dose of her own medicine, making sure to keep eye contact as I do.
"Likewise."