Six Weeks ago…Yorkshire…

Elsie stood in the middle of the room contemplating her history with Charles and her empty glass.

For several months after establishing their 'arrangement', things had gone swimmingly. Charles and Elsie maintained two separate relationships; platonic and physical; public and private. Perhaps it was this early success which caused them to lower their guards. In some ways, it was a subtle shift, but Elsie saw now exactly when the two worlds ceased being separate. In fact, she could trace it back to three specific nights

-I-

Twenty Years ago… London…

Charles came home that night well after midnight. Elsie and Beryl were sat on the couch watching 'The Princess Bride' yet again. It was the only movie they owned. Being the end of the month, neither of them had the fifty pence needed to rent something new from the local video store.

Looking up from her spot on the couch she could tell he was moving awkwardly, almost limping. At her look of concern he just waved a hand and smiled. Respecting his wishes Elsie let the matter slide. Beryl noticed nothing of what passed between her roommates.

"Join us, Charlie," Beryl invited him over her shoulder without actually looking away from the screen.

"Thank you, but I think I'll go straight to bed tonight," Charles politely declined.

"But they're about to storm the castle," Beryl informed him.

"Good luck with that," Charles returned with a wry smile before tottering off towards his room.

Elsie and Beryl laughed as, on screen, Miracle Max echoed Charles' sentiment. Charles had seen the movie almost as many times as Beryl and Elsie.

"Must have had a hard night at the restaurant," Beryl remarked. "He loves quoting along with Indigo."

"Mmhm," Elsie agreed distractedly.

Forty minutes later, the movie was over and Beryl and Elsie bid each other goodnight. Elsie debated her options as she brushed her teeth. She wanted to check in on Charles. Though 'turning in early' had sometimes been used between them as a coded signal, Elsie knew that was not Charles' sentiment tonight. Also, Elsie was not currently motivated by desire. She was concerned about him as a friend.

Her knock was answered by a muffled grunt that Elsie interpreted as an invitation. She ducked quickly into the room and found Charles sitting on the edge of his bed. He wore his shorts, his sleeveless undershirt, and a pained expression bordering on the pathetic. His hands were behind him on the bed, as if supporting him.

"I'm sorry, Els, but I don't think I'll be worth very much tonight," he apologized tragically before she could speak.

"That's not why I'm here," Elsie assured him. Charles looked a little disappointed at this news. "I saw you moving tenderly when you came in. Is everything alright?"

"Just a day of backbreaking labor." Charles shrugged his shoulders and winced. "It's embarrassing really. I should be in shape for this, but…"

It was now that Elsie realized Charles' arms were actually trapped behind him, stuck in his half removed shirtsleeves. Elsie moved to the bed in order to help him as she remarked, "You make cocktails and pour wine. How did you manage to hurt yourself?"

"I'm not injured, just sore," Charles informed her defensively. "And this isn't from mixing cocktails. Today Mssr. Maurice asked for a volunteer to help him with the annual inventory of the cellar. He handles it personally. I jumped at the chance. I should have been suspicious when no one else volunteered."

Elsie gingerly extracted Charles' hands from their cotton handcuffs. He sat forward with a grateful sigh and rolled his shoulders. Elsie remained on the bed beside him.

"I moved every crate, magnum, and Methuselah in the place," Charles groaned even as his smile broadened. "There was even one Nebuchadnezzar."

"A what?"

"Nebuchadnezzar; an enormous bottle that holds fifteen liters of wine," Charles informed her.

"That's a lot of wine," Elsie conceded with an impressed expression. "I hope it was worth it," Elsie chided as she tossed his shirt towards his hamper.

"Oh, it was. I spent four hours talking with a man who has forgotten more about wine than I will ever learn. I picked his brain and even showcased some of my own feeble knowledge. Before today, I was just the bartender who didn't need a ladder to reach the top shelf spirits. Now, I'm the early favorite for the junior sommelier scholarship."

"Charlie, that's huge! Congratulations!" Elsie hugged him but stopped when he tensed from the ache.

"I wish I were in shape to celebrate properly," Charles flirted feebly.

"Did you take anything? I can fetch you aspirin," Elsie offered without acknowledging his flirtation.

"Thank you, but I took some at the restaurant."

Desperate to help him, Elsie climbed on the bed and knelt behind him. She began to caress his back and arms.

"You don't have to do that," Charles protested despite enjoying her attentions.

"I know, but at least let me give you a rub down."

"I told you, I'm in no shape for that tonight," Charles teased.

"Shut up and lie down, Mr. Carson," Elsie ordered with mock seriousness.

"Your foreplay could use some work, Ms. Hughes," Charles joked, but obeyed.

Elsie appeared to ignore him, but nimbly straddled Charles as he lay face down on his bed. She began to massage his shoulders. Charles groaned appreciatively. Still working on his shoulders, Elsie leaned forward until her mouth was just beside his ear.

"Men who complain about foreplay soon find they have nothing to complain about," Elsie cautioned in a seductive whisper.

"I take it back!" Charles exclaimed with a chuckle.

"I thought you might," Elsie answered smugly. She sat up again and proceeded over the next half hour to knead and work Charles' sore muscles. Finally, content she had done all she could, Elsie climbed off of Charles and stood beside the bed. Charles appeared asleep, but he opened his eyes before she could turn to leave. He didn't speak, but reached a hand out to her. She took it, curious as to what he intended.

Still holding her hand, Charles sat up. He pushed back the bedclothes and climbed between the sheets. With a gentle tug, he beckoned her to join him.

"Are you feeling better then?" She questioned.

"Much." He patted the mattress beside him playfully.

"Well enough for…?"

"Maybe in the morning," Charles hedged meekly. "But you can still stay with me tonight."

Elsie was vaguely aware that she was blurring the line of demarcation between their two clearly defined worlds. Nevertheless, she climbed into his bed and nuzzled warmly against Charles' chest. The next morning, Elsie left before Charles awoke. It was the first night they slept together without making love. It was not the last.

-II-

Several days later Elsie smiled sadly to herself when she heard his eager knock at her door. She hadn't been home more than fifteen minutes but Elsie was already in bed and ready for sleep.

"Hey, stranger," Charles greeted her cheerfully. He entered her room and closed the door behind him. He was wearing flannel pajama bottoms and a faded t-shirt advertising Jägermeister. "How've you been?"

"Busy," she admitted with a weary smile.

"I noticed." Charles moved towards the bed, but Elsie stopped him with a raised hand.

"Now's not a good time, Charlie."

"Oh, of course, you've only just come home," Charles apologized. "I can come back later, if you like."

"That's not what I meant. It's a bad time…" Elsie blushed. "Of the month."

"Oh! Oh, I see…Yes… I should have known…" Charles floundered a bit before surprising Elsie by suddenly declaring, "Well, that doesn't really matter."

"I beg your pardon?" She now noticed that he was holding a small bundle which looked like a towel.

From behind the towel, Charles pulled out a little paper bag with the words 'Body Shop' stamped on it.

"I've been looking for the opportunity to thank you for helping me with my sore back a few days ago."

"There's no need to thank me," Elsie insisted warily.

"Even so," Charles opened the bag and extracted a small, metallic tube.

"Peppermint foot rub?" Elsie read the label.

"I overheard you complaining to Beryl last week about how your feet have been hurting from the long hours standing at work and then walking home."

"So you bought me foot rub?"

"As you see," Charles confirmed.

"Well, thank you," Elsie smiled wearily and held out her hand to accept the offering.

"I actually envisioned being more than just a delivery boy," Charles grinned sheepishly.

"Charlie, are you offering to rub my feet?" Elsie asked disbelievingly.

Charles nodded with shy enthusiasm. "The lady at the store gave me this." Charles held up a cardboard pamphlet with the outline of a foot on it. "Eastern medicine has mapped the pressure points on one's feet. Each part of the foot is linked to another part of the body. Imagine that!"

Elsie watched with bemusement as Charles walked to the foot of her bed. She tried to picture Charles in a Body Shop, let alone talking to a saleswoman about foot massage techniques.

"May I?" Charles asked, indicating her duvet. Elsie nodded. He lifted the duvet and pulled loose the top sheet to expose her feet. He then attempted to lie across the end of her bed, but either it was too short or he was too long. In the end, he settled with his torso along the base of her bed and his legs stretched up parallel to her body.

Charles set the pamphlet aside for reference, unrolled the towel at her feet, and produced a washcloth from his kit. He reached for her nearest foot. Elsie withdrew both feet quickly; bringing her knees almost to her chest.

"What's the problem?" Charles wondered. "I need to wash your feet first. It's just a washcloth with warm water."

"I'm ticklish," Elsie warned.

"I know," Charles smirked with a quick bounce of his eyebrows.

"No, I mean my feet are especially ticklish. If you aren't careful, I may kick you out of reflex."

"Consider me warned." Charles held out a hand and Elsie slowly extended her right foot to him.

The cloth was warm and only slightly damp. He wiped one foot and then the other, setting them on the flattened towel when he was done. Elsie flinched as the cloth tickled her but Charles held her ankle steady in his gently firm grip. Charles studied the reflexology card intently as he squirted a small dollop of foot cream onto his palm to warm. Elsie watched him with a bemused smile. He was taking this all very seriously. Having decided upon a plan of attack, Charles applied the cream to the bottom of her foot and began his work in earnest.

His touch was tentative at first, but he gained confidence as he progressed. Elsie's hums and sighs of enjoyment served as ample encouragement. When he moved to the other foot, Charles was sure enough to divide his attention between his task and conversation.

"Did you see the message that your Mum called earlier?" He asked offhandedly.

"Mmhm," Elsie responded lazily. "I saw the note. Did you speak to her?"

"No, Beryl had that privilege. They talked for over twenty minutes."

"What could my Mam have to discuss with Beryl for so long?" Elsie wondered rhetorically.

"Probably discussing your Mum's favorite subject; you," Charles teased.

Elsie rolled her eyes at his jest but could not contradict him. She knew that her mother was proud of her, sometimes to an embarrassing degree.

"It must put a lot of pressure on you, being the first in your family to attend university," Charles commented sympathetically.

"But I'm not the first," she corrected him. "I'm only the first to graduate. My Mam attended local college and spent one term in Edinburgh before she married Da."

"Really? But she didn't graduate?" Charles was surprised by this information. "Was she…forced to marry him?"

"You mean was she in trouble? No, nothing so cliché as that," Elsie assured him with a small laugh. "Though it would explain why she insisted I start birth control before I left Scotland."

Charles almost commented that he was glad her Mum had insisted, but instead he asked, "What happened?"

"My parents were childhood sweethearts and had been engaged since they were both seventeen. They agreed to wait to marry until she finished her degree. She wanted to study law. They'd done well while she was taking basic courses at the local college and Da worked on the farm, but after her term in Edinburgh Da saw how difficult it was to maintain any kind of relationship. She couldn't focus on her studies and have any time for him. He was hurt, but tried to be understanding. While she was home between terms, he offered to release her from their engagement."

Charles watched Elsie's face keenly. She was biting her lip and watching her hands as she twisted them in her lap. He couldn't be sure how she felt about the story she was telling.

"The day she was due to return to Edinburgh my father went to the station to see her off, but she wasn't there. He assumed she'd taken an earlier train in order to avoid him, but he found her waiting at the farm when he arrived home. She had her suitcase with her. She told him she wasn't returning to Edinburgh, but she wasn't going back home either. She moved to the farm that day. They were married the next week."

Charles waited a few moments before observing, "That's rather romantic."

"They think so," Elsie agreed wistfully. "Mam loves to tell that story. She always ends it with, 'And I never regretted my decision; not for one second.'"

"But you don't find the story as charming as they do?" Charles discerned.

Elsie shrugged uncomfortably. "I dunno. If our family arguments are anything to go by, she would have done well in the law. She could have been a barrister or a judge, but she chose to be a wife and mother. I know it isn't for me to approve or disapprove of her decision, but I've always…I guess I just never understood it."

"Because it isn't the choice you'd have made?"

"I don't understand how anyone who had experienced Edinburgh would be content with our little corner of Scotland."

"It's a small town then?" Charles had rarely heard Elsie speak of her home town.

"Downton is a bustling metropolis compared to where I grew up," Elsie admitted with a derisive chuckle. "We were isolated on the farm; only seeing our neighbors at school or at church. I couldn't wait to get out."

"You're not planning to ever go back then?"

"I couldn't even if I wanted to," she sighed. "I'm not that farm girl anymore."

"The city has altered you," Charles confirmed. "As it's altered me. And what would be the point of living if we didn't let life change us?"

"But my Mam chose life on the farm after only one term away," Elsie frowned.

"Didn't she deserve to make her own decision?"

"She was nineteen," Elsie stated as if that explained everything. "How could she abandon her education when she was so young?"

"They were different times," Charles suggested.

"That's just it! This was a time when a woman qualifying to study law was something truly remarkable. She was a bright lass and everyone said she was destined to do big things. She had a chance to be more than a farmer's wife," Elsie sighed.

"But she's been happy?" Charles asked.

"Yes, there's no doubting that. It isn't as though she's been bored. She found ample outlet for her skills. My Mam has served on almost every committee and board in the county, and my Da dotes on her. He could never deny her anything," Elsie smiled as she related. "They've both been very happy together; even with the challenges of raising a daughter like Becky."

"I have a feeling their other daughter was just as challenging," Charles smiled.

Elsie gave him a warning scowl which soon dissolved into a smile.

"Now, your feet are all done," Charles announced proudly. He held up a small pair of ankle socks which he began to slip onto her feet. "If you wear these tonight, when you wake up in the morning, your feet will be as soft as a baby's bum."

After the second sock was in place, Charles gave her foot a playful tickle. Reflexively, Elsie kicked out and caught Charles square in the chest with her heel. It knocked the wind out of him with a dull 'oof'.

Elsie immediately sat up and joined him at the base of her bed where Charles rubbed at his chest and winced comically.

"Oh, Charlie! I'm so sorry," Elsie apologized and fussed over him. Elsie's hands roamed his face, neck, and shoulders as if checking for injury. He grinned at her concern.

"I suppose I deserved that," Charles joked as he regained his breath. "I was warned."

"But you didn't deserve to be kicked, not after-"

The rest of her sentiment was silenced as Charles kissed her pouting lips. It was a simple kiss that demanded nothing, but hoped for more. When they separated, Elsie shook her head in silent apology. Charles understood her reticence but he wasn't willing to give up so easily.

"I know there are…limitations," he acknowledged. "But that doesn't mean I have to leave this very moment. Does it?"

Technically, Charles was correct. They could just lie on her bed and make out. It could be innocent enough and enjoyable, but Elsie's mind resisted. It was too much like something a boyfriend and girlfriend might do. It was a behavior that belonged in the no man's land between friendship and sex; territory they'd promised to avoid. Intellectually, she knew it was a mistake. However, looking into his soft, bedroom eyes, Elsie's last protestations died.

"Stay on your side of the blanket," she instructed in a whisper.

When Charles left an hour later, Elsie decided that she didn't mind making an error every now and then. Still, she was determined that the proper order of things must be restored. They could not continue down this pathway towards a serious relationship.

-III-

[AN- The following section is M rated. Skip to the next update if you are offended by adult situations and language.]

It was almost a week later before Elsie found an opportunity to reestablish the boundaries they'd agreed upon. Wearing her robe, Elsie snuck down the hallway to Charles' room after bidding Beryl a goodnight. Charles did not notice when she entered his room. He was sat at his desk wearing headphones, engrossed in the writing of his final project paper. His references spread out before him; Charles was taking notes in preparation for typing up the paper in the computer lab on campus the next day.

Elsie hesitated briefly before deciding to interrupt him. This was not a moment to be considerate. This was the moment to ignore their friendship and reclaim the selfish anonymity of their physical relationship. Elsie crossed the room with a few light steps. She reached around and turned off the radio to which Charles' headphones were attached. Confused, Charles looked up at the radio and saw Elsie. His frown instantly became a smile. Charles opened his mouth to speak, but Elsie shook her head and shushed him with a finger to her lips. Intrigued, Charles kept silent and watched her.

Elsie stepped back away from the desk and towards the bed. Charles' smile grew. It had been two weeks since they'd made love and he had missed her terribly. Elsie turned down the bed and slipped out of her robe, beneath which she wore only a pair of white, cotton panties. She returned to the desk where Charles sat on the edge of his chair. The look in his eyes was pure lust; exactly the reaction she wished to elicit. Charles ripped off his shirt as she approached. She saw his wide chest rise and fall with his excited breath. He now wore only his boxers. Through the thin material, Elsie could see his eager response to her. She reached the desk and, without preamble, she straddled Charles and kissed him hard on the lips. She ground insistently against him.

Though he was startled by her behavior, Charles was not one to eschew good fortune when it literally landed in his lap. He returned her fervent affections enthusiastically. He nuzzled wet kisses behind her ear and fondled her breasts with a roving hand. Charles felt reason abandoning him as their passion intensified. He willingly surrendered control to his feral instincts. He would never remember how they reached the bed or how their last scraps of clothing ended up on the floor. Such trivial details were lost in the haze of lust that possessed him.

Things progressed quickly. Foreplay was an unnecessary nicety eschewed by both parties. She was wet. He was hard. End of story.

Elsie climaxed before Charles, but only just. She smiled with self-satisfaction as she urged him to his finish with the rolling of her hips. This had been exactly what Elsie planned. The sweating, pulsing body that moved over her now was generic; faceless. She felt him complete and fall still. They'd each taken what they needed physically and there it ended. They hadn't made love. This had been a good, old-fashioned fuck. Order had been restored. The entire encounter had taken less than ten minutes.

His body still covered her, but soon, he would roll off of her and she could make her escape. She lay with her eyes closed, waiting for her moment. Grab your robe and go, she told herself. Don't look back.

Elsie felt him relaxing above her. She tensed, ready to bolt at the earliest opportunity. She couldn't leave any opening for sentiment to rear its ugly head in this situation. She could not claim victory until she was alone and safe in her own bed.

His body began to shift off to the side, but his hand moved up her body to her face. Before Elsie could extract herself from his embrace, Charles swept a sweaty lock of hair from her forehead with his thumb and placed a gentle kiss to her cooling brow. Her eyes fluttered open and she saw him smiling adoringly down at her. With this simple act, Elsie was undone. She felt a new shudder of satisfaction ripple through her body which had nothing to do with carnal pleasure. It was the warm glow of being cherished. All thoughts of flight disappeared. Her robe would be there in the morning. For now, there was nowhere Elsie wished to be but in Charles' bed, in his arms. She knew they were doomed, but she didn't care. It would all end; it was bound to, but she wanted them to be as close as two people could be for the time that remained to them. She would stop looking for the ending and simply accept the present. Elsie cuddled closer to Charles with one thought in her mind. This was a man who loved her and she trusted him completely.

It was this trust which made his leaving months later feel like such a betrayal.

TBC…

AN: I have no excuse for my prolonged absence. Thank you to those of you who reached out to me in the interim. I cannot guarantee that updates will be timely. I can only promise that I will not abandon this story unfinished.