Chapter 7 - To Tell Or Not To Tell

Hey guys I know I said I would update before Christmas but well Christmas got in the way.

Anyway I hope you had a nice Christmas and New Year :)

Thanks for the reviews and here's the next chapter.

Enjoy!

It had been a week since Alice had discovered Bella's scars.

It had been a week since Bella had slept over.

It had been a week since Bella had woken up, screaming from the nightmare.

To say things were perfect would be lying, ever since that night Bella had been shying away from Alice and the rest of the Cullen's. Sure she still sat with them at lunch and Alice drove her to and from school but Alice noticed the little things, like how she would shy away from anyone who was near her. Or how she would only speak when spoken to first, it was like Bella was going inside herself and had no intention of coming out.

The pixie vampire didn't know what to do and it didn't help with not having any visions giving her a little clue. Alice was driving Bella home, it was Friday so school had finished for the week when suddenly. "Alice can we go to your house? I think we should talk." Bella said quietly but Alice heard her like she was shouting. To say she was surprised would be an understatement, Bella had actually spoken to her first and what was more important was the fact that she wanted to go to her house, to talk!

"Sure Bella, we can go to my house but what do you want to talk about?" Alice asked softly but Bella shook her head and said, "I'd rather we talked when we got there."

Alice didn't say anything else but turned her car around and drove to the Cullen house.

Bella had been contemplating all week about many things but the main ones were about what happened at Alice's house and how she could possibly talk to Alice about what happened to her.

Why did it have to be so difficult? Bella knew why, the things she had seen, the things that had happened to her, the things she had done, she wasn't sure if she could talk about them. They were like bombs, waiting for the moment to be set off and explode into dozens of pieces, piercing Bella's soul, her mind, her heart with poison. Alice would protect her; help her through it a voice inside her head kept telling her.

And that's what the main reason came down to, Alice.

Bella couldn't bare it if she told Alice and then her pixie vampire wanted nothing more to do with her, since her and Alice had met Bella had come to care deeply for her, Alice gave her what she hadn't felt in years, protection, the ability to feel safe and Bella didn't think she would survive if that was taken away again. She knew she was being selfish, she couldn't stay with Alice and expect to never have to talk about her past but Bella could dream.

That week there was a constant struggle of 'to tell or not to tell Alice', going on inside her, it was raging in her mind so much that her head never stopped pounding, she knew she was to an extent ignoring Alice and her heart sighed in sadness at what she must be putting her pixie through but another part new this needed to happen, if she was ever going to put an end to this battle and come up with a final answer then she needed time to think and she did her best thinking when she was cut off from everyone at least partially.

It was Friday and Alice was driving her home from school, Bella was sat quietly next to her in deep thought, whenever she had come to a decision something always found its way into her mind and made Bella rethink everything all over again.

'Ok you just need to lay it out simply, you have two options. One, you tell Alice or two you tell Alice, if you tell her there is a possibility that she wouldn't want you anymore but if you don't tell her you'll end up losing her. Losing her.' Bella thought to herself, the last two words making a sharp pain go through her chest, 'I can't lose Alice, I couldn't live if that happened, no I gotta tell her, well at least start to tell her, I just can't live without Alice, I'll beg her to stay with me if I have to but I've got more of a chance of her staying if I tell her than if I don't.' Bella thought to herself trying to give herself some courage for what she was about to ask.

"Alice can we go to your house? I think we should talk." Bella said quietly and Bella could see Alice looked shocked that she was speaking, let alone asking to go to her house. "Sure Bella, we can go to my house but what do you want to talk about?" Alice asked softly but Bella shook her head, this wasn't something that was going to be easy to talk about in her house, let alone her car! "I'd rather we talked when we got there." Bella said and mentally sighed when Alice didn't say another word but turned the car around and drove the way to the Cullen's house.

Bella and Alice had been sat on Alice's bed opposite each other for the past 10 minutes in silence, Bella had opened her mouth to speak she found no sound would come out. Alice just sat patiently and waited for her human to start but after another 10 minutes, she thought she should give Bella a little help and asked, "Bella, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?" Alice never broke eye contact with her love whose hands she could see were shaking slightly and her heart was beating quite fast.

Bella opened her mouth again but once more nothing came out, cursing herself mentally Bella took a deep breath and summoned all the courage and confidence she held and tried again. "I've given this a lot of thought Alice...that's why I've been so distant this week...I didn't want to but it was the only way I could think things through and come up...with an answer." Bella stuttered before taking another deep breath and exhaling slowly. Alice didn't move towards Bella although she desperately wanted to, she knew if she did it was possible that it would make it more difficult for Bella to speak, so instead she flashed a smile in hopes of helping give her love some confidence to continue.

"I want to tell you about...my past." Bella said and Alice froze, this wasn't going to be pleasant for her but it especially wasn't going to be pleasant for Bella, hell it was probably going to be a nightmare for her.

Alice nodded her head at Bella for her to continue before moving slowly until she was sat Indian style with her and Bella's knees touching, her hands resting on her knees.

"You must understand...this is the first time I'll have told anyone and I mean anyone...not even Char...I mean my dad knows this he just thinks I moved here because life in Phoenix was too hard for me after certain things happened but there's...so much more to it than that." Bella said closing her eyes briefly at the images that threatened to overrun her mind before opening them again and zoning in on Alice's golden one's which were full of concern and understanding.

"Ok...so I guess I should...start with (Bella clasped her hands together in front of her and took another deep breath to calm herself)...start with how it all started." She said and Alice stilled, waiting for the terrors of Bella's life to be told, for Bella's pain a waiting for the pain to become her own.

Well that's the end of chapter 7.

What did you think?

Sorry if there is spelling or punctuation mistakes, I've just only finished it before posting it up so there could be a couple.

Anyway, Bella has finally decided to tell Alice about her past, woo! The next chapter will be Bella's past, it'll include flash backs as well as well as Alice's thoughts but mostly it'll be in Bella POV obviously cause it's her story.

I'm not sure yet whether I'm going to split Bella telling about her past into two chapters, it depends on how long I make it.

Look out for the next chapter, I think you'll be surprised on some of the stuff you find out about Bella...or not: P

Review and let me know what you thought of the chapter.

Oh and I've got a little thing for you to do, if you review and give me an idea of what you think is going to happen in Bella's past, I'll give the person who gets the closest or most similar of what I'm putting a sneak preview of something to come in a later chapter. Think of it as a prize :)

Bye for now!