Okay, this chapter is going to be a little more serious than the others. I had a pretty good idea for a grimdark storyline, so just sit back and enjoy this trip into the depths of Furuichi's soul.

"I always knew this day would come..." Furuichi grunted, the wound in his side gaping and causing spasms of pain to run across his ribs.

"Hihihi~ What can I say, I long for a thrill!"

Saying this, the redhaired demon with twintails and scanty clothes kicked him once more, sending him flying across the room. He crashed into a counter and heard a loud cracking noise from his back, then fell to the floor. Frantically gasping for air, he fumbled for his pocket, seeking out his ultimate weapon. The empty space that greeted his fingertips made his heart drop.

"Gone..." He snapped his neck in her direction and shouted at his attacker. "When did you take them?! When did you take the tissues?! ANSWER ME, AGIEL!"

In response Agiel giggled, at first softly, then hysterically. Her shrieks of joy echoed around the empty science room, scraping across his ears like the shattered glass in the windows. How Furuichi always managed to get himself into intense battles in empty classrooms during school hours, he may never know.

"What, do you mean these?"

There they were.

In her perfectly manicured hands.

The demon contract tissues.

"As I thought, you're no good without these tissues! What a shame, it looks like the General won't be calling for help any time soon!"

That evil, evil demon girl. He would never forgive her for this. When he was done with this, he'd give her back a thousand times worse!

...if he got out in one piece, that is.

She tightly clenched the tissues in one hand and lifted her sword in the other, cackling under her breath. Furuichi recoiled, desperately dragging himself backwards to escape the point of the blade. He tried to lift himself off the floor, but Agiel's sword darted around and struck his side. She shook her finger and giggled.

"No no no, no running now." But there was nowhere left to crawl! He had been forced into a corner, the handle of a drawer poking into his back. Various science instruments were situated on the counters around him, but everything was just a little too far out of his reach. All he could see on the floor was headless matches and empty bottles of ammonia, frayed string and the shreds of hand-sharpened pencils.

No weapon. No tissues. No plan. He was at the end of the line.

How did things manage to come to this? It all started earlier that day...

Furuichi was walking down the school corridor when he spotted a familiar face. Well, not just a familiar face. A familiar set of boots, familiar coat, familiar thighs, and immensely familiar breasts were coming directly at him at a brisk pace.

"Oh, hey Agiel. What are you doing at school during the daytime? Do you have some business he-"

Suddenly, she threw him through the window of the science room.

...and that was how things managed to come to this.

Wait, what the hell? He didn't have time to flashback five minutes into his past!

Filled with the sudden urge to tsukkomi, Furuichi cried out again at Agiel. "Why? Why are you betraying me like this?"

She bent over in front of him, exposing her cleavage. Furuichi wished he could say he was more concerned with her breasts than the sword pointed at his neck.

"You've become complacent, 'General'. I've been so bored waiting for you to come and test your mettle against us, but you think everything's okay if you can call on us at the drop of a hat. That's not how our relationship works." She grinned madly. "I liked that Aoi girl better. She knew the only way to keep your allies is to beat them!"

She stabbed the cabinet behind Furuichi.

"Now tell me," she snickered, holding the tissues high above her head, "What you'll do without these tissues?"

Please don't say it like that. You make me sound like a superhero with the lamest kryptonite ever. He wanted to tsukkomi so badly, but that would probably get him killed! Instead, he carefully muttered to himself.

"So... if I beat you here..." A glimmer of ingenuity flashed through his eyes, and he smiled through the sharp pain in his waist.

"Eh?" Agiel's eyebrows raised in surprise, but she didn't stop smiling. This was what she craved, the exciting battle with the famed General.

"You picked the wrong place to throw me, Agiel."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't know how much you know about delinquent schools, but there is no such thing as learning here. However, they do have a use for the science room."

As Furuichi spoke, he moved his face closer and closer to Agiel's, going on the offensive in this battle of slasher smiles. Using this maneuver as cover, he subtly opened the cabinet behind him. Yes, she was wavering!

"The truth is, the only thing a delinquent needs the science room for... IS A STINK BOMB!"

"What."

He snatched a glass jar from the cabinet behind him and smashed it open on the ground next to him. Glass shards shattered everywhere and a rancid odor began to fill the room. Ammonium sulfide spilled over the ground and sneaked up towards her nose, bringing tears to her eyes. The impact of the stench was so powerful that she could feel it forcing her stomach to contract.

Was the smell meant to incapacitate her? As if. Keeping a firm grip on her sword, Agiel grabbed her nose with the other hand and kicked Furuichi once again in the solar plexus. There would be no escape for him yet. Face down on the ground, Furuichi clenched his nose firmly and tried not to let go from the pain he was feeling. If he let go, he would lose!

Agiel hissed, trying her best not to choke on the foul flavor. "Was that your big plan? A stink bomb?"

"Yes."

He sounded ridiculous with his nose plugged like that, but his words were clearly triumphant. He turned to face her, smirking, and she gasped.

His nostrils were blocked with white paper.

When did he get the tissues back?

Furuichi stood up shakily as Agiel fell to the floor, acknowledging her defeat.

"You dropped them when you grabbed your nose. Looks like I win this round. SUMMON!"

The warmth of demonic power surged into him, filling his veins with explosive power. He could feel some of his wounds beginning to heal himself. With a demon of this caliber, he could definitely beat her!

"Prepare yourself, Agiel!" Furuichi struck a kung fu pose and turned to her, ready for combat.

"Um, I'm over here."

What? Furuichi turned and noticed Agiel on his back.

"When did you get behind me! Ninja! How could your power level rise so dramatically in such a short time?"

"Actually, I didn't do this on purpose, believe it or not..."

Furuichi looked at the ghostly Agiel behind him, then at the other Agiel on the floor. Two Agiels?

"How did you learn the copy jutsu in such a short time?"

"Idiot. You summoned me."

Furuichi stroked his chin pensively. "Well, that makes more sense."

"Dammit, what are the odds of that?!" Agiel pulled at her twin braids in frustration, gnashing her teeth and clawing at her face.

"Technically speaking? Approximately one out of three hundred ninety seven. Although I think it's weighted slightly more towards stronger members of the 34 Pillar Division."

"AAAAARGH!"

Furuichi ignored the fuming Agiel and turned his attention to her unconscious body. Clearing the disgusting scent of ammonium sulfide with a demon enhanced wave of his hand (like a regular wave, but with more vigor), he cautiously eyed her full breasts and seductive waist. Furuichi reached a hand out tentatively.

"What are you doing."

Agiel deadpanned at him from behind, startling Furuichi. Oh yeah, she was still there. But then again...

"None of your business! I have to punish you for disobeying me, don't I?"

"That sounds like a line straight out of a hentai manga. We didn't have that kind of master/slave relationship before, did we?"

"Yes, we did! We totally did!" Furuichi was getting a little frantic, torn between the primal urge to grab where he pleased and the gripping desire to finish his conversation with Agiel like a gentleman before moving on to other, more important matters. "I'm in control now, am I not?"

"You're breathing rather heavily there. Did you imagine me in a maid costume?"

"That's ridiculous. Why would I mentally put more clothes on you?"

Agiel considered for a moment, then gave up. No matter which iteration of maid was chosen, it would still be a notable increase in fabric. She shrugged and contented herself with glaring down at him with reproach.

Furuichi's heart was beating a million miles an hour. What if she called his bluff? No, she probably wouldn't understand: the appeal of maid fetishism far outweighed her usual semi-nudity, especially since she usually went around in that skimpy outfit. Less is not always more! This is a basic tenet of sexynomics!

He clapped his hands together and did a bow in front of Agiel's body. "Itadakimasu."

"Oh no you don't!" Agiel grabbed his head and tried to jerk it to the side, but to no avail. Ferociously she bit and scratched at him, stuck her fingers up his nose and around his neck. However, Furuichi remained unscathed. She was entirely immaterial to him.

"You cannot harm me here, demon." Ooh, that was kind of cool. Like an old samurai.

"Stop! I'll put a curse on you!"

"Calm down. This will be..." He turned to her and gave a thumbs up with a brilliant smile. "...thrilling."

"That was the least cool thing I've ever seen! No! Stop!"

Too late. Furuichi's hands flew to her tantalizing flesh.

"Furuichi."

He froze in midair. Slowly, hesitantly, like a door turning on a rusty hinge, he looked up.

Staring down at him through the broken window was Nene Omori.

"Ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-"

"I came because I smelled something awful and heard some guy talking to himself in an empty classroom. And what do I see?" Her eyes were hidden by the shade of her bangs, an extraordinary feat which inspired dread in all who witnessed it. From below the window frame she drew a loop of chain, scraping wickedly against the floor as she pulled them up for him to see.

"You've got balls, you son of a bitch."

"Where'd you get this one from?" Agiel asked, her grin widening by the second. This chesire cat demon...

"I assure you, it's not what it looks like! I was just... she's a demon! She attacked me!"

Nene raised an eyebrow, her glare softening but not quite relaxing.

"And you were going to touch her because...?"

"...to search for hidden weapons?"

"You were very clearly going for her breasts."

"...to search for hidden weapons?"

"She's wearing a bikini."

"..."

"And there is a knife strapped to her leg."

"I was going to get to that." Those succulent thighs had not evaded his sight. He was almost offended Nene would assume such.

"I'm sure you were." Oh, she knew. Never mind.

Furuichi took one last look at the prize he had almost acquired, then stood up and turned to leave. Seeking out the classroom he was supposed to be in right now, he and Nene walked leisurely together. If not for her death glare, it may even have been relaxing.

"And it reeks in there. What were you doing?"

"Taking care of a low level random encounter."

"I resent that," Agiel chimed in, but Nene obviously couldn't hear her.

...

"So when can I go back to my body?"

"Quiet," Furuichi mumbled. "This is your punishment."

"Kyaaa~ noooo~"

Just kidding. Did I trick you with that first A/N? No? Well, aren't you a little smarty pants.

Fun fact: Ammonia and match heads left in a jar for a while make that rancid smelling ammonium sulfide that Furuichi smashes on the ground. Fun fact number 2: The method Furuichi uses to defeat Agiel has been done before; Marvel's all-powerful squirrel girl used it a while back to defeat a villain.

I think that's my favorite part about Furuichi, he's very silver age. Defeating his enemies should be more a test of wit and a little dumb luck than a clash of demon powers. That's why he's been my favorite since the pool episode. That kind of character has always been the most fun for me, so forgive me if he's changed a little from canon-ichi over the course of this story.

Then again, the scene afterwards? That's some pretty classic Furuichi.

To Delvin Dracul: I read all of those fics and they were amazing! I was almost inspired to write some wish fulfillment fluff, but I held myself back because whenever I do that I have to delete all of it by morning (I can write some pretty terrible stuff when I'm high on fanfics)

In other news, I was thinking of continuing last chapter's little Taeko mini-arc, but this spur of the moment idea was too good to pass up. Funny, it seems most of my fics start like that: a silly interaction that leads to nothing whatsoever. Writing a comedy series is great!

Hope you guys enjoyed this ish ('cos dats wot da kool kidz sez) and have a wonderful day! :DDDDD