A/N: Hey guys! Honestly what can I say? Currently high off of Monster with my bestfriend because she's over for a sleep over and convinced me to play the 'Jenna Marbles drinking game'...Google it. She's currently making...troll faces...Yep. She's hear to "help" me write this chapter. And when I say help I mean she's just sitting here draping herself in my fuzzy blanket pretending to be the Grudge. Yep thanks, love you too bestie... Enjoy (:
Iggy POV
The beast slowly inched towards me with the dreaded weapons. Makeup brushes!
"This won't hurt a bit," she sneered., the corners of her lips shifting upwards into a devious smile, turning her into the Cheshire cat.
"Oh really? I am willing to bet my precious jewels on that..."
"Well bet or not, WE," she gestured to the man-ladies around her, "have you tied to a chair now don't we Igster?"
She blinked innocently at me trying to win me over with her looks. Usually this would've worked and probably led to an entire make-out session, but no siree, NOT today. Today, my dear sweet angel, Anna, had finally revealed her true man-lady self. And let me tell you...that was not what I was hoping to see when she lured me over to the Gama sorority house. I should've known something was up when I entered Nudge's too sparkly and pink room.
What type of horrible scenario must I be in you ask? Well currently, I have been duct taped to a super duper pink and sparkly chair. Oh and did I mention the duct tape is pink zebra? Well now you know. The she-man beasts are none other than Nudge, Angel, Chrissy, Max, Cami, Elle, and last but not least my dear Anna, who is definitely not so dear to me today.
"Look man-lad –I mean girls, can't we talk this out? I mean, come on, we're all friends here right?"
"Your right Iggy. We are 'friends'", Max said as she made air quotes, "and friends give friends makeovers to make them appear much more feminine."
"No, no Max that's not what I meant! I-"
"Iggy remember when you visited me a couple of days ago and I promised you I would see to it that you would pay dearly for you mistake?"
"Y-yes?"
"Well, consider this your pay back. You must be thinking, 'Oi, no! My Man Pride! Max, how could you be so cruel?' Well I got news for you bub. I wasn't the one that thought up this plan. Your dear Anna did. And for good reasons to right Anna?"
"Why of course Max!" Anna's instantaneous reply made me want to cringe.
"Anna, Anna, oh Anna. Why? WHY? WHY?!" I admit, I was being a little dramatic, but hey, I wouldn't be the Iggy everyone knew and loved if I wasn't dramatic.
"Iggy," The warm and loving looks in Anna's eyes had vanished. They were now replaced by a cold, hard glare. In fact, her eyes looked colder than Antarctica itself. My, aren't you poetic today Iggy? Your English teacher would be proud. Good on you, good on you.
"You deserve this after the trouble you caused. You should've let Fang do what he wanted. Instead, YOU forced Fang to come to a stupid party with spiked drinks, causing him to make out with Maya accidently, which in turn, caused Max and him to split up. If anything, this is hardly a cruel punishment. Don't you agree?"
I sagged my shoulders with defeat. Yes, it had been my fault. If it weren't for me, my best friend would be the happiest guy alive with the love of his life. I had never managed to live down the guilt.
Sure, Fang might've never verbally accused me, but I have enough self respect to know that it was my fault and it is only right that I feel guilty. That's it. No matter what, I HAVE to get Max and Fang back together. Even if it's the last thing I do.
Then again I'm not even sure if I'll even live until that long. Considering the way the gir –I mean man-ladies are hungrily staring from me, to Nudge's trunk full of makeup, and back. Pray for me, won't you?
"Ok, ok, I admit. It was my fault. And Max? You can't even fathom how sorry I am right now. So I can't believe I'm saying this but go ahead, do your worst. I deserve it. Record it and put it on YouTube even, if that makes you feel any better. But why are you mad at Fang? It was my fault I dragged him to the party. And you can't really say it was his fault for getting drunk because he didn't know!"
"Iggy," Max was taking obvious deep breaths to calm herself down, "Fang made out with Maya. It wasn't a tiny peck, it wasn't just some kiss, IT WAS A HARDCORE GAME OF TONSIL HOCKEY. I don't care whether or not he was drunk, or even if he had a unicorn horn sticking out of his butt! He is mine and he is NOT allowed to kiss anybody else's lips other than mine, be it a man's or woman's! And on our anniversary after I had spent all day picking out a gift to commemorate it too! Hopefully, he will never swing over to that side of the gate... If you can catch my drift, but anyways, can't you see how betrayed I felt?"
"I know Max but-
"I think I've heard enough Iggy. Nudge it looks like you're gonna have to duck tape his mouth too. Cami and Elle? Wash his face. Chrissy and Anna? Prime his eyes and face for the eye shadow and foundation. Nuge and Angel? Have you got an idea of how you want to do his makeup yet?"
Both girls nodded solemnly.
"Alrighty then. Ladies let's get to work! While you guys are doing his makeup I will be videotaping this and later on we will upload it to YouTube where the whole world will be able to see Iggy after his makeover doing the hula in a coconut bra and grass skirt! Mwuahahahahahaha!"
Woah Max has gotten seriously creepy lately. She could be the future world dictator/ villain. She's even obsessively rubbing her hands and giving me the creepiest smile. I have really got to get her and Fang back together.
But wait a minute. Hold the phone. HOLD THE PHONE, GIRLFRIEND. Coconut bra, grass skirt, and the hula?! Now see here, I agreed, reluctantly, to this makeover and to having it posted onto YouTube. NO ONE said anything about coconut bras, grass skirts, and hulas. Excuse me, but I will have you know, I refuse to shake my bon-bons for anyone. That's right people, not even Anna, the love of my life.
"But Max I remph tf famph mu buh-buhs fo anyun!"
"Excellent, Nudge now that we have his mouth duck taped let the actual makeover begin!" Max was clapping Nudge on the back while looking like a proud mama bird.
If you're wondering what the last part of what I was saying was before I was attacked by Nudge's pink zebra duck tape, it was, "I refuse to shake my bon-bons for anyone!" However, as you can see, my refusals were useless and over ruled.
** 1 hour later**
"Just some finishing touch-eess...Alright I'm finished Angel. Would you like to do the honors and rip off his duct tape so we can put on his lipstick and shape his cupid's bow?"
"Of course Nudge! I'm ready for anything! Alright Iggy on the count of three. One...Two..."
Rip!
"ANGEL! You said on the count of three! You just yanked off whatever little facial hair I had!"
"Did you really think I was serious? This is to punish you after all."
"Cami, what color lipstick do you think would look good on him?"
"I don't really know Chrissy...Any ideas Elle?"
"Well I've been watching some videos from YouTube by Jen from frmheadtotoe and I found this really cool technique we can do. The k pop singers use it to make their lips look smaller. All you do is take some red lip tint and tint the center of his lips, then apply nude lipstick to the rest of his lips, and finally add some clear lipgloss." (A/N: Seriously, check out that video guys!)
"Ok Elle, since you know how to do it, here," Nudge handed her the lip brushes and lipsticks, "you do the honors. ZOMG Iggy you are gonna look GORGEOUS! Oh Elle, you should add the shimmery clear lip gloss I have! You, Iggy, are gonna look, like, totally fab! No one will even know you're a guy...except you incredibly flat chest might give you away. Might. Speaking of flat chests, you know who has one? Lissa! It turned out she got, like, a boob job. Gross right? But Max, after you left, I was out with the gang and she came by running in a sports bra and super short shorts to try and 'seduce' Fang. Only it had like the totally opposite effect! While she was running and shouting out 'Oh, Fangy-poo!', one of her fake boobs popped! It was hilarious! She got soaked and had like a uniboob after that! Ok I'm done ranting now. I just thought Max should know that."
While Nudge was ranting, Elle had already finished painting my cupid's bow or shaping my lips or whatever. Currently, I'm being allowed to check myself out in the mirror and see the man-ladies' handiwork. I have to say though. I look HAWT. Oh man, and Fang thought he had lost all his man points.
I just said hot as HAWT. Nudge is seriously rubbing off on me and that is NOT good. Bad Iggy, bad. I did mention Max has been videotaping this right?
"Ok mate, you can go and put on your grass skirt and coconut bra. Max said you can still keep the bottoms you have on now under the grass skirt cuz you know, I'm sure no one wants to see that." Chrissy seemed to be enjoying this WWAAAYYY to much for my taste.
"Oh really? I bet Anna can beg to differ," I retorted. And I was right. Anna was standing in the corner of the room blushing.
"Shut up and go change Iggy!" Anna chided.
"Alright fine." I sagged my shoulders and walked the walkway of shame to the bathroom. You're probably thinking, What ever happened to fighting back, Iggy?, Well let me tell you this. A guy eventually loses his rebellious spirit after he's been made over. I even know what shade of nude lipstick I'm wearing. Revlon's Matte Lipstick in Nude Attitude. Yep. I've officially stooped to a new low.
With a glum face and attitude I stepped out of the bathroom in my grass skirt and coconut bra...
Anna POV
"Iggy...you look AHAHAHAHAHAHHA...you look...s-so H-hawt! BAHaHahahahaha!"
By now I was both wheezing and crying from so much laughing. He looked HI-LARIOUS! I mean I love him and all but this was the chance of a lifetime. And he deserved it. The killer? Max was still videotaping at this point!
"Ok Iggy, now come over here. I'm gonna do some contouring on your chest with bronzer to make you appear to have somewhat of a bit of cleavage," Elle explained.
"And which video off of YouTube did you learn this technique from this time?" Chrissy asked skeptically.
"The all great and knowing JennaMarbles," Elle grinned cheekily at her.
Chrissy just rolled her eyes.
"There, done. Whatcha think guys?"
"Wow, Elle. I didn't think that would actually work!" I exclaimed. It really looked like Iggy had cleavage –very shimmery cleavage, but cleavage all the same.
"Alright. Now Iggy, you have to go outside and do the hula down the sidewalk. While Max videotapes. Right Max?"
"Correct as always Angel. Now go Iggy, shoo! You can either walk out of this room with what little dignity and man pride you have left or I can kick your scrawny ass out."
"Nope. Thanks but no thanks. I can walk on my own." And with that Iggy trudged towards the door like a soldier who'd just lost the war along with all of his fighting spirit.
"I didn't know I had any pride left in me," he muttered more to himself than anyone else.
**Half an hour of Iggy's hula-ing down the side walk later...*
You will never freaking believe this! We all basically left the sorority house and followed Iggy all around town while he was hula-ing. People actually thought we were filming some kind of project or movie. Anyways, the MAIN MAIN point here was that...are you ready?...Iggy was hit on by some college guys! AHAHAHAHAHAH! Can you believe that? You should've seen the look on their faces when he told them I was his girlfriend.
They repsonded with, "So you're a lesbian? Damn that's a waste..."
A very indignant Iggy replied, "Idiot! I'm. A. Dude!" and then pulled down his coconut bra to flash them off, "Why the hell would you think that I would wear cargo pants underneath this grass skirt?!" (A/N: His cargo pants are only to his knee...in case you were wondering.)
And with that Iggy left them stuttering apologies, flabbergasted, and muttering, "Is that why her -I mean his- legs were so hairy?"
Max posted the video the moment we got back, so about half an hour ago. And we already have 1 million hits! Oh Iggy better thank us when he becomes a YouTube celebrity.
Max POV
So I just got back to the dorms (A/N: Sorority house, dorms. Same diff guys. I'm just getting tired of typing sorority house every time :P)from a very eventful day. I posted the video on my YouTube account. Yes I made an account just for this. Anyways, the moment I stepped through the door I was bombarded with questions from Lina and all the girls.
Needless to say, by the end of the story they were all on the floor crying from laughing so much. And of course, they went on YouTube to check out the video, resulting in our 1 million views rising even higher. I can't wait to check on it in the morning to see how many more people viewed it.
Satisfied, I told them all I was really tired from a long day. They understood and I went upstairs to shower and go to sleep. The makeover actually hadn't taken that long. We started at like 8 in the morning and by 10 Iggy was busy hula-ing around town. So it's like 12 right now. Afterwards, we went to Panera Bread to eat…with Iggy still in his full makeup and outfit for those of you who were wondering.
After I got out of the nice shower I felt so refreshed. Even though it was just a tiny -well in Iggy's case it was pretty drastic- makeover, I felt drained. It felt good to give Iggy his much deserved punishment for causing me so much pain. I know it's mean but it's true. Speaking of pain I still need to carry out the rest of my plan. I have a date with Ryan –ewwww—coming up. I know he said we would go today but I decided to reschedule to next week on Saturday. Iggy's punishment came first. That's right. Who's got her priorities straightened out? That's right, THIS girl right here.
You probably wondering, "Ok so you're not going with Ryan. But today's also Tuesday. Aren't you supposed to be in school?" Oh contraire monfrare (A/N: I'm pretty sure I spelled that wrong -.-), today is teacher workday. So it was perfect!
"I wanna see your peacock cock cock-" My special ringtone for Iggy began blasting through my room.
"Hello?"
"Luke, I am your toilet bowl!"
"Iggy, I have caller ID. I know it's you. Plus, you have your own ringtone. So..are you calling me to thank me for helping you become an internet sensation? No need my friend. All in a day's work."
"No...actually Max...I was calling to ask you if...I mean...Look, I'm really sorry for what I did. And now that I've received my punishment in full will you please forgive me?"
"Oh. Of course Iggy. I now officially forgive you and declare you sin-free!"
"Great! But um one more thing..."
"Yes?"
"Please forgive Fang. He's so lost without you. He misses you, I can tell., even when he's trying to keep up his stupid facade of being an emotionless brick wall. Nowadays, he always gets this sad, nostalgic look in his eyes. I think he's reminiscing all the good times you guys had together. Please. Forgive him Max. For the sake of the children"
"Iggy I don't want to talk about this right now...I..I gotta go. I'm really tired. I'll see ya tomorrow in school. Bye Igs."
"Bye Max..."
And with that my wonderful mood had been dampened. I seriously don't want to deal with this right now. I'm too tired. I'm going to sleep.
Author POV
And with that, Max tiredly crashed into bed...Unknowingly though, two tears had escaped, one from each eye, and were slowly rolling down her cheeks.
You know, sorta like those cliche crying scenes in movies where the movie star still looks goregous from crying and her makeup is all still there? Yeah. Oh Max, Maxie, Maxie, Maxie, if only you knew the plans I had for you. Actually, how could you? I dont even know my plans yet. HA.
Oh well, sweet dreams Max...until next time...
A/N: Eh, eh? What'd you think? Since I worked on it everyday after school, it should be quite lengthy. Anyways. High school just started for me and I'm a freshman. It's been a tiring week. Waking up at 5:45 every freaking morning. On the bright side, I get to go home at like 1:30 so it makes up for it. Since I have time now, I'm trying to work on writing every day so I can update quality stuff sooner ^^. Hope you guys enjoyed!
R&R...
~Anny
P.S. Do me a favor? This was a long chapter...at least for me. So if you catch any spelling errors, errors in spacing, punctuation errors, or if I type the wrong word in the wrong place, please make note of it and notify me whether in a PM or review. I know I hate it when I read stories and there are mistakes. So help me out please? Your support means A TON! :D