A time to cast stones away and to gather them up.
Defenses.
She had always had them- always needed them. She had prided herself on her ability to look at everything rationally and to compartmentalize. Like stones, she had gathered each painful incident in her life until they had formed a wall. Angela had once commented that perhaps the wall was to see who loved her enough to climb over it. As much as she loved Angela, she still disliked psychology.
She had tried to allow her father a second chance. He was finally out of prison now- more because she had stuck out her neck for him than of his own devices. In truth she had put her career- her life- on the line for him. To his credit he had stayed in the area in the ensuing year and so far he had stayed out of trouble as well.
They had forged a tenuous bond. In time, she supposed, they would have enough rapport built up for her to allow him further access to her heart again. However she also had come to believe that the images of him leaving her twice- first with her mother, then again with Russ- were burned too deeply into her psyche to ever fully be erased.
Erasers.
She fingered the small piece of rubber that Booth had purchased just hours ago. A skull and crossbones to symbolize that the line between them had been erased. Where her trust issues with her father were a shaky thread at best, with Booth they were non-existent. After four years of partnership under the best and the worst of circumstances, she knew that if there was one person in the world whom she could trust it was Booth. And in a moment of sheer impulse she had proposed to him- had offered him access to her life- heart and all- that no other living being possessed. She wondered if she had made the correct decision. She set the eraser on a shelf in her bedroom next to Jasper and Brainy Smurf, wondering what sharing a home with Booth would be like.
A ring sounded.
"Brennan," she answered.
"Booth," he replied, his smile evident in his voice.
"Hello," she was pleasantly surprised, "Do we have a case?"
"No."
"Did I leave something in your car?"
"No."
"Booth," her suspicion level was beginning to elevate, "Did you call to check up on me?"
"Wrong again, Bones," he laughed.
"Then what do you want?" she asked, exasperated.
"Can't a man just call his fiancé for no reason?" he teased.
Her stomach did a little flip at the term, "Booth, you never do anything for no reason."
"I love you, Temperance Brennan."
"And I love you, Seeley Booth," the words seemed foreign, yet she felt quite secure in voicing the sentiment, "Now why did you call?"
"That's it, Bones," he seemed bemused.
"That's it?"
"Yep. Good night, Bones."
"Good night, Booth."
They hung up.
Defenses.
Seeley Booth smiled at the phone in its cradle, imagining the woman on the other end. He wondered if any other man had ever called her simply to say, "I love you" with no other strings attached. He doubted it; her walls would not be so high otherwise. If he was to be honest, though, he would have to admit to having his own set of defenses every bit as deep as hers. Built up when he chose to become a professional assassin. Fortified during his tours of duty. And again when he had a child out of wedlock and could not be the father that he had always wanted to be. On the outside, he assumed a very gregarious personality- but his family life- his personal affairs- were both sacred and private. He would soon have to let her in fully.
Erasers.
He had confessed to Bones that the line embodied his fear and it had. Inside of him was a deeply rooted fear that on day his carefully calibrated control would slip and he would lose her- either through her death or by her rejection of him as more than a partner. The result would be the same and he doubted for years whether he was strong enough to bear either one.
He had lost close friends before on the battlefield; had been rejected by Rebecca, by Tessa, even by Cam- whom he knew had never sought the same lasting relationship that he had. And so for his Bones he had drawn a line to help define things. Had been a friend when everyone else had ulterior motives. Had wiped her tears and soothed her fears. Had taken a bullet that had been intended for her.
Now the line was gone, and in its place he had found love and respect and acceptance. She had not rejected him, as he had feared for so long, but instead had invited him in. The fear was beginning to dissipate. He was moving forward, toward her- toward home.
