Chapter 7 - Dot sings about puberty
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The next day, after a good night's rest, the Warners were up and ready for day 3 of their 7-day ordeal. They arrived at the community service hall, on time, ready to go. Diane wasn't exactly thrilled with sending all the kindergarteners into a brawl the day before.
"Well, considering your fiasco yesterday, perhaps you need to be with an audience in your age group."
"So what does that mean?" asked Yakko
"Well, the 6th grade class of Hugh Jass Elementary has missed 2 blocks of sex ed this month." Said Diane
Wakko and Dot covered their ears, while Yakko rushed up to cover diane's mouth.
"Sex?" he asked, before letting Diane speak again
"Yes. Do you know anything about it?" asked Diane
"Who, me? I haven't even kissed a girl." Yakko pulled that line out again
"That's such a lie! Just how many times have you kissed the nurse?" asked Dot
Diane interrupted the siblings' banter.
"Listen, the teacher will give you the books to help. You can do it." Diane tried assure the warners of their upcoming goals.
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In 10 minutes, the Warners were back at Hugh Jass elementary. In Mrs. Taylor's 6th grade class, the Sex education class was about to start.
"Can I have your attention, kids?" asked Mrs. Taylor
All the students lit up.
"We have 3 cartoon characters coming in today to talk to us about...sex."
The class all went "oooh."
"So with that said, Here's Yakko, Wakko, and Dot!"
The kids all looked in awe of the animated characters in front of them.
"Uhhhh...hey!" Yakko was very nervous.
Wakko opened up the sex ed book that he was given to use.
"Ahhh!" He slammed the book shut.
"What?" asked Dot
"I didn't want to see that!" Wakko exclaimed
"What did you see, Wakko?" asked Yakko
"A picture of Rosie O'Donnell in a bathing suit." Replied Wakko
Yakko interrupted his siblings to do what needed to be done.
"Ok, ok, i'm an expert in this field." Yakko grabbed a mortar stick and a dry marker.
"You see, you kids are at an age where your body's changing. My body went through some changes, so did these 2." Yakko pointed to his siblings.
"My tail got longer!" Wakko swung his tail around.
Yakko laughed a little bit.
"Yeah. So, as a result of your body hitting puberty, you might be noticing an interest in the opposite gender." Said Yakko
A girl raised her hand.
"Yes?" Yakko asked
"Did Justin bieber hit puberty?" she asked
Yakko's face went blank.
"Moving on, this means that your sexual organs are starting to develop."
A boy put his hand up.
"Yes?" Yakko asked
"Are you a Mickey Mouse rip-off?" asked the boy
Yakko snapped the mortar stick in half. Wakko then took over.
"I've got it! We could tell the story of our uncle Jack." Wakko replied
"That sounds like a great idea, Wakko! Now, let me see, what tale should we tell?" asked Yakko
"The one where uncle Jack got stuck up on the water tower?" Asked Wakko
"Oh no, not that one!" Dot pleaded for her brothers not to tell the story.
"Ah, don't fret Dot, we'll leave out all the bad parts." Yakko assured her little sister.
"Somehow I don't believe you." Dot muttered
Yakko turned to the class.
"Ok, once, way back in like 1993, long before you kids were born, There lived 3 warner siblings, all up on the Warner Bros. Water tower." Said Yakko
"And don't forget the Warner sister!" Dot added in
"Anyways, Their uncle Jack..." Yakko turned to the readers "Who really was just the nurse's boyfriend at the time.." Yakko turned back to the 6th graders "Wanted to climb up to the top of the tower, to visit his niece and nephews!"
"So what did he do?" asked Wakko
"He built a rocket ship, and he flew the rocket, up, up, up, and all the way up to the top of the tower!"
"And then what happened?" asked Wakko
"You know what happened!" Dot butted in
"Uncle jack got stuck atop the tower. So the Nurse comes over, and says to Dot..."
"Yakko! Please don't say it!" Dot pleaded
"The nurse says 'Dot, can you please help your uncle Jack off?"
All the kids started laughing.
"Ah, I still don't get why it's so funny." Wondered Wakko
"It's funny cause uncle Jack got stuck and he's got a fear of heights." Yakko replied
Mrs. Taylor broke the laughter.
"Perhaps you could sing a song about puberty." said the teacher
"I'd be able to do that!" Declared Dot
"What song is that?" asked Yakko
"Puberty girls." Dot replied
"Oh, that one. Are ya gonna need our help?" Wakko was ready to pull out his drums.
"She will." Yakko pulled out a guitar.
"I guess." Dot grabbed a microphone from nearby.
"This is Puberty girls!" The Warners all said in unison, before starting to play in the style of punk rock. the students all stood up and started headbanging and dancing to the song. Dot began to sing in a punk voice.
She's not yet a teen
But somewhere in between
She's gonna grow, up and out
into her mother's jeans
Puberty girl! Puberty girl!
Comin' from a cute little thing like me
learn and see
Yakko began headbanging and thrashin' around like a metalhead, while playing a wicked solo. some of the students began crowdsurfing. Dot continued to sing.
First her legs start growin' long
she'll think that something's wrong
in hysteria, her period
will mess up her only thong
Puberty girl! Puberty girl!
Comin' from a cute little thing like me
learn and see
Yakko contined to play the guitar. while he was thrashing around while playing the solo, Wendy O williams began thrashing with him, before running off. Dot was about to sing the last verse.
Her breasts start coming out
the boys will check her out
But that's a hoot, cause she's so cute
She'll chuck their heart around!
Puberty girl! Puberty girl!
Comin' from a cute little thing like me
learn and see!
Yakko then began smashing the guitar everywhere in the room, While Wakko threw the drums around, destroying them in true punk fashion. When the amps finally stopped sizzling, the class all began cheering and clapping, and then sat down as if nothing had just happened.
"So you see girls.." Dot went back to talking in her normal voice "...You'll eventually, if you haven't already, start growing in areas you never thought possible, like your breasts!" Dot said with great enthusiasm.
"Really? Where are yours?" asked one girl.
"Dont rub it in, missy." Dot gritted her teeth.
Just then, the principal ran in, and she was less than pleased.
"What the heck went on in here? All the other teachers heard what sounded like a flute player being choked!" She said
"Oh, that was just Dot's singing." Yakko replied
"Hey! it was punk rock! you're supposed to sing that way!" Dot defended herself
"Dot? your name is dot?" asked a boy from a few rows down.
"Yeah, what of it?" replied Dot
"Hah! Dottie! Dottie!" he laughed
"Ok, one warning, ya little burger bag! Call me dottie again, and you die." Dot was ready to explode from being taunted so much.
"Ok, I won't call you DOTTIE! again." The student laid back in his chair.
Of course, dot was very non-chalant about waltzing over to the student, and then pulled out a ginourmous mallet, and slammed the boy over the head with it.
Yakko and Wakko made grim faces.
"Some people have to learn the hard way." Said Yakko
The Principal grabbed the Warners by their tails.
"Ok, that's it! Seems you can't get along with people too well! I'll just have to put you somewhere where you can't bother anybody, and nobody'll bother you!"
The Principal grabbed the Warners, and dragged them down the hallway, and threw them out of the school.
"If i want ya, I know where to find ya!" The Principal Slammed the door shut. The warners dusted themselves off.
"Well." Yakko smiled "I think we pulled that off pretty well." before walking away with his brother and sister.
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