Neil is in love. Which is odd because Neil has never thought in the terms of love. He's liked girls, maybe adored them and admired boys but love? This would be the first time Neil ever considered the term love-which was exactly what he was; in love.
It felt good to think, to mentally repeat the new term of thought. His world seemed…pinker and seemed to hold much more promise. It also carried a certain weight because it was his and his alone.
This new emotion he was drowning in had slapped him in the face and carried the weight of a frozen ten pound Salmon one afternoon in English class. Honestly, first it had been awe then admiration and one night, on Todd's birthday, it had swelled into love. Love, he loves Todd. A romantic part of him believes he always had (Hind-sight bias) but it didn't really matter now because now he was kicking up dead underbrush as he and Todd walked through the forest, huddled into their wool coats. Their shoulders bumped occasionally as they continued walking in the grey light the clouds shadowed.
"Freezing." Todd's voice is clear like a shattering icicle and Neil snickers. He has no idea how he convinced Todd to skip PE.
"It's not so bad." Neil counters casually as his eyes keep on the mottled ground.
"What's the matter with you today?" Todd question carefully breaks a silence and Neil shrugs, his heart starting to thump erratically in his chest. Todd scoffs and turns his head to the sky with a sceptical expression. "You wanted to skip class with me for a reason, what the hell is up?" He's not irritated, quite the opposite. Neil can see him smirk and it's because Todd has Neil all figured out.
"Just felt like skipping with you." His voice tremors slightly, belying his nervous tick and Todd shakes his head.
"What's the matter, don't trust me anymore?" Todd stopped walking and leaned against a tree waiting for Neil to come out with whatever was filling his brain with lead. Neil stopped a few feet ahead and shut his eyes, wondering how the hell he was supposed to do this. When he turned around, his expression was all sharp smiles and mischievous angles as per usual.
"Sounds more like you don't trust me." Todd cuts him an expression of annoyance as he bundles further into his coat with a sour glare. Neil just laughs at Todd's pouting expression, his nerves jittery as he moves closer to Todd and collapses, hanging all over him.
"Neil" Todd whines briefly as Neil hums, enjoying being so close to this strange, infectious boy.
"Muragh, 'm tired." He mumbles, smiling when he feels Todd chuckle and whine his name again.
"You're heavy, you know…"
Neil mocks him, drawing away to look into his blue eyes, "You're comfy, you know." Todd smiles in his open mouthed way before he buries his nose back under his coat. "You look like a mole when you do that." Neil points out as Todd frowns in mock insult.
"Moles have feelings too." And his pouty sentence reminds Neil why he brought Todd out here in the first place.
"…We're good friends…right?" Neil is looking up at the sky and now Todd's forehead is lined in confusion, wondering how the subject changed so fast into something so seriously coloured.
"Course." Todd replies cautiously.
"I mean…we'll always be friends, right? Even-even if I told you a secret that you may not like?" Neil still doesn't look at him and Todd shifts from foot to foot nervously. Maybe he's messed up and Neil has come out here to tell him that they shouldn't be friends anymore-that would be awful.
"Have…have I done something wrong?" Todd said, his voice sombre and quiet as Neil's eyes snap to met his.
"Oh God no! It's, it's me, if anything!"
"Are you going to tell me that we shouldn't be friends anymore?" Todd still hasn't relaxed and Neil slaps a hand to his forehead before he scoffs at himself.
"You are really one of the pessimistic people I know-you're worse than Meeks and Charlie combined," He tries to lighten the mood but sees Todd eyeing him warily so he shakes his head, putting Todd's fears to rest. "No moron, I'm not going to tell you that we shouldn't be friends. We'll always be friends right?" Todd nodded slowly as Neil invaded his personal space. "I need you to promise that." His voice is husky and low as Todd nods again.
"I promise." Todd said, firmly as he looked Neil directly in the eyes and his stomach knotted nervously.
"I…Je-sus I likeyouTodd." The words stumble gracelessly out of Neil's mouth as they both stand and stared at each other.
"What?" Todd's face as appeared out of his coat as he stares at Neil flabbergasted and Neil is nervously backing away. Carpe Diem was really fucking hard sometimes.
"I said I like you. A lot. More than I should, I'm sure." He's doubting himself but at least Todd hasn't done anything drastic yet, not like he would've anyway because they trust each other and through their friendship they've come to rely too heavily on one another to let it go to waste. "Don't hate me." Neil squeezes out in a breathless laugh, trying to alleviate the severity of the situation to no avail.
"Prove it." Neil looks at Todd, finding the blond no longer surprised but suspicious.
"What?" Neil squawked, not believing what he just heard.
"I said prove it." Todd stated again, regarding Neil with narrowed eyes. He watches and Neil fails his arms for a bit, trying to figure out a coherent sentence or action or something. Todd always does this to him, leaves him without a rational next step.
Finally he sighs, arms lax at his sides. "What do you want me to do?" He said, surrendering quietly. Never had he dreamed of the situation turning out like this.
There's a silent moment as wind whipped around the two, tousling their hair and filling noise where their words should be. "Kiss me."
Neil looks scared, he's looking at Todd to make sure he's not joking and utterly serious-which Todd definitely is. "Are…are you joking?" Neil wheezes and Todd looks impatient.
"Do you like me or not?" Neil confirms that he does immediately, Todd just rolls his eyes, "Then what's the problem? Kiss me." Neil took a few unsteady steps closer to Todd and hesitated. He felt himself be pulled shyly in by Todd's hands at his coat. "Don't make me beg." Todd flashed him a shy smile and suddenly Neil felt more courageous. He had no idea what he was doing when he cupped Todd's cold face in his hands and Todd yanked him closer so that they ended up with their mouths pressed together.
Todd sucked at Neil's lower lip as Neil released a noise of surprise before shutting his eyes and pressing back into Todd with more confidence as they kissed shyly. "I have, been waiting, so, long for this…" Todd mumbles and drags his tongue across Neil's lower lip, setting off bright colours behind Neil's eyelids.
"I wish you'd told me so we could've started doing this a lot sooner." They laugh lightly into each other's mouths as they pull each other closer and soon Todd's tongue is rolling in Neil's mouth and Neil is releasing short moans.
That was certainly the best secret Todd has had yet. Neil agrees.
Hurrah! Completed at last!