AN: Hey everyone! Here is yet another chapter from Ed's POV, hope you guys like the insight to what's going on inside him. A HUGE thanks to Le Confidant, ZilSepam, canagg, JokerOak, RuKkA and AnimeControl for your reviews and guesses as to what could be going on : ) Please feel free to toss suggestions and criticisms as you see fit! I would love to hear anything you guys have to say!

Disclaimer: No rights to FMA.

"I'm coming up only to hold you under

And coming up only to show you're wrong

And to know you is hard; we wonder...

To know you all wrong; we warn.

Really too late to call,

So we wait for morning

To wake you is all we got

To know me as hardly golden,

Is to know me all wrong, they warn."

'The Funeral' - Band of Horses

For around a week, Ed had done not one damn productive thing. Sure he had shown up to his job, he'd gone through the motions of his life but he hadn't heard or retained anything since hearing the news that in a few months he would be a father and a husband to a woman he didn't love. This thought brought back the reality that he would have to tell Winry and soon. She was bound to get news about the wedding since Rose had almost immediately began telling anyone who would listen. He liked to believe she was trying to overcompensate, so when she was delivering their child in less months than they would be married for people wouldn't look askance at her. However, his gut which was steadily becoming more frequently correct was saying otherwise, but why else would she be so fervently spreading the word?

Just yesterday he had finally gotten ahold of Alphonse to tell him everything that was going on. Needless to say, he was beyond floored by the news. Unfortunately, Alphonse had been the voice of reason that he hadn't been ready to hear. Not that that was much different from usual, Al had always been infinitely mature for his age, clearly getting all of the common sense between them. He had made Edward promise that he would go and tell Winry what was going on so she wouldn't hear about it from any other source. A long silence had eaten up the space between them then, he had been hoping to deflect Al's request by letting it drop. That was apparently not going to happen this time. Only after he had wrung a reluctant promise that Ed would travel to Resembool and speak with her, did Al let the subject drop. From the disapproving tone in his little brother's voice, he could tell that even though the subject had been back burnered verbally that it certainly hadn't left the forefront of his mind. Finally after more awkward conversation, he had said goodbye.

Hanging up the phone he had proceeded to call Central and let Mustang know that he would need to go to Resembool for an unspecified amount of time. That had actually been less awful than he expected it to be, and far less trying than speaking with Alphonse. Of course he also hadn't explained to Mustang what had come up, just that something important had taken the precedent and that he was in no mood for bullshit. Lastly, he went by where Rose had taken up working to let her know that he would be leaving for a while. They hadn't spoken about Winry, so she had no idea that he had someone who deserved a million apologies and would probably except none. Giving her a bland smile, he said he would be back as soon as he could be. Luckily for him, she had been in such a state of happiness that she didn't even notice his forced attentions. Without a backward glance, he made his way out of Liore.

Upon his arrival to Resembool, he decided to just go see what Winry and Granny were doing without announcing his presence. However halfway up the drive, he glimpsed the shimmering strands of blonde hair that had to belong to Winry coming out the front door and dove behind a tree. He had faced down the homunculi, Father and Truth and yet couldn't make himself stand up in front her to admit his failure. Scooting around the tree silently as she began to pass, he heard her singing softly to herself. A sad melody, with even more melancholy lyrics. He'd never heard her sing before, and he would've given anything in that moment to hear her sing a happy tune. Her voice was remnant of the sound of a violin when it sobbed quietly in a high range. Just listening to her felt like she was singing a song written just for his inner turmoil and depression. He watched as she faded into the distance, thinking how much even her walking away from him unknowingly was a portent of what was to come. There was no way she would ever be able to remain his friend after he told her of his unforgivable act.

With his head hung, he began walking towards town to clear his head for a bit before going back to tell her. As if holding onto the illusion of what they had shared for even a bit longer would fix anything. Stepping into the bar he had passed so many times before, he ordered a double shot of whiskey straight up. Tossing it back, he felt the the instant burn that accompanied the liquor warm his seemingly eternal chill. Staring at the rows of alcohol on the shelf without really seeing them, he tried to visualize how his life should have gone.

He imagined his mother alive and well, his father by her side. He pretended that Alphonse had never been stuck in a suit of armor for a large part of his life and that they had gone to school with Winry just like any other normal children. He watched his transition from boy to teenager as he began to feel the shift in his feelings for Winry change from friendliness to awkward attraction. He saw himself take her to the school's formal, her dressed so stunningly that it took his breath away. They danced a stunted, bumbling distance apart at the beginning of the evening, gradually becoming more confident and comfortable within eachother's arms as the night wore on. As he walked her to the door she stared up at him nervously and as she went to enter her home, he grabbed her desperately pulling her into their first kiss. People would laugh and make jokes about how they had been best friends and neighbors their whole lives, and now on their wedding day the high school sweethearts would promise forever to eachother.

His father would walk Winry down the aisle, and then she would take her place by his side, where she had always been meant to be. Pretty tears of happiness would fall from his mother's eyes as they spoke their vows in front of their loved ones. Turning to Alphonse, his brother and best friend, he would take their rings from him with a hugely lit smile. Then as they were announced to everyone as Mr. and Mrs. Edward Elric, he would see the tears of joy trailing down Winry's soft cheeks and kiss her with every ounce of undeniable love and complete wholeness he felt with her.

Swallowing audibly, he blinked his eyes hard to keep the tears that had welled up from spilling and making him look absolutely pathetic in this public bar. Paying the barkeep, he stood resolutely to completely destroy every wonderful illusion he had built up in his mind.

Pulling himself back into the moment, Edward acknowledged what he'd been forcibly trying to keep from his mind for days now. As much as he wanted to stay with Winry and forget the facts that were so tragically true, he couldn't ignore the nagging voice inside his head that told him that he knew right from wrong and he'd done more than his fair share of wrong in the last week. However, that trail of thought brought on another. He would have to tell Winry yet again that he was leaving. He couldn't stand the picture that came to mind of her having to pick up the pieces of her life a second time. Not only had he left her, but Granny Pinako had passed away and he hadn't been there for her when she probably needed him the most. Time and time again, Winry had jumped at any opportunity to help him in any way that she could. Just taking this week for instance, he had been able to clearly see how much damage he had caused her and still she had made him a new automail leg.

Shaking his head in disgust with himself, he rose from the bed to look at aftermath of yet another night of fantasy turned reality and wondered how could have put Winry in the position that he was about to. He contemplated what he was going to say to her and her face crumpling in sorrowful defeat. Or even worse, an expression of disappointed loathing. Those brilliant blue eyes piercing directly into him as he would break her heart again, except this time it would be worse for both of them. Before when he had left her with the facts of his shitty future they had hardly spent any time together intimately. He had never experienced the joy of waking with her curled up in his arms, hair crowned by the morning sunlight. He had never previously known what it was to feel completion. If he thought leaving her the first time was unbearable, he could only guess the toll it would take on him now. Coming to a conclusion that he liked just a little, he decided he would leave now, this minute while she was at the grocery store. A smile touched his lips as he remembered her telling him that if she was going to keep his stomach full, and hers also, that they would need far more than the meager rations she had been sustaining herself with prior to his arrival in Rush Valley. As quickly as it had come, the smile vanished, replacing it's former warmth with a cold frown.

Looking in the mirror on the vanity, he figured he might as well get used to this expression because there would be no more inside jokes. There would be no more silly arguments or wrenches. No lovely smiles or long legs. No heated glances or nights that seemed so short that they would stay up until the sun bridged the sky just to have more time together. Even if they did see eachother again, she would surely hate him and he would have no reason to smile again anyway. Slipping his pants and boots on, he made his way out of her room and out of the small shop. Trudging forward seemed to take every ounce of will that he had. His steps taken one at a time, while wearing leadened boots. As he bought his ticket for the next train to Liore, he realized he really should have checked on train times beforehand because now he would spend the better part of the day at the station on the hard benches. In reality, he deserved no less and maybe the discomfort on his body would be a pain reliever to his aching heart. His breaths were already far too short and disjointed to be considered healthy, and the weight on his chest was worrisome. He felt like he was dying and for some reason, he still continued on, being driven forward by some force unnamed.

AN: There you have it guys, Ed's view point. Now it's up to you from your reviews to let me know whose view you would like to see next, Rose or Winry's.