Title: Changed by an Angel
Chapter: 7
Author: Ashlee Angel
Email: ashlee_c69@hotmail.com
Disclaimer - Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi..... And frankly, I'm not Naoko Takeuchi
*.:.*.:.*.:.*.:.* Chapter 7 *.:.*.:.*.:.*.:.*
*Recap*
Holding my breath, I opened the navy blue cover before my guilt got the best of me. Convincing myself one last time that I'd be able to make it up to him, I began to read. . . .
***
I frowned. These entries dated back to almost two years ago. Everything seemed to be about this girl, whoever she is. He never mentioned her name. Not once. But you could tell she meant everything to him.
Wonder why he never mentioned her to me. Flipping to a recent one, I stopped at when I got to September of this year.
***
September 2nd, 2002
She's probably at school right how. Something she claims to be hell.
She's got an attitude under those clothes of hers. Those glasses too. But can you believe it? She doesn't even need them. They're two useless pieces of glass that hide the depth of the sky that's hidden in her eyes.
I don't understand why everyone treats her like such. I really don't. If they'd just give her a chance.
But it's their own fault. It's their loss to miss out on someone like her. They're stupid not to know she's worth more than they'll ever be. I should be thanking God that I'm her best friend. And you're probably laughing at me right now. But you know what?
I love her. Really, I do. More than anything.
She'll never know though. I wouldn't let her. But being as foolish as I am, I practically did. . . .
Through a song.
I don't even know what possessed me to call the radio station. I just had to get it out. She probably didn't even hear.
Actually, I 'know' she didn't. I made sure I called before her ride picked her up. Am I coward? Maybe. You know . . . I think I'm insane. But that's okay.
Anything for her.
***
September 4th, 2002
You know, I don't know how I managed it. But I did. She's always been a curious one. She'll figure it out somehow. It's not that hard, is it?
8 letters.
3 words.
1 meaning.
I love you.
Pathetic, isn't it? But I couldn't just type out that I loved her. Or maybe I could. But I don't deserve her. She deserves better.
Much better.
***
September 28th, 2002
Been too busy lately. Everything's her. Her. And more her.
But I've never used her name in this, have I? It's not that I don't like her name. Not that at all. Far from that. Her name suits her perfectly. But somehow it doesn't fit her at all. She's much too perfect to have a simple name describe her.
Think I'm a raving psychopath yet? Don't worry, I laugh at myself too. But even an angel doesn't compare. I just hope she finds her prince charming.
Whoever he is.
***
October 4th, 2002
I'm finally here. After not seeing her for two years. Which lasted like twenty. I got here last night. Scared her I think. But she was happy to see me.
I think. Though you know what? She seems to be living the life she's always wanted. Which only makes her even more amazing than she already is.
She really 'is' something.
And I think she's found someone that's the key to her happiness. Even though she denies it. Though what's the use of denying the truth? It's still there.
She might not know it. She might not 'want' to know it. But she's fallen.
Hard.
***
November 3rd, 2002
I was right. I 'am' right. But let's just hope Darien will treat her for what she is. They're head over heels for each other, and they won't admit it.
But here I am. Smiling.
Why don't I just snag her for myself? Because she could never be completely happy with me. I should be jealous that she loves Darien, shouldn't I be?
But I'm not. Besides, it'd be cruel to get in between those two for my own selfish reasons. And the guilt. The most unbearable human emotion, because it can haunt you even after you die.
She and Darien will end up together in the end anyway. They both won't admit it. But they'll have to soon enough. You should really see how happy she is with him. Let's just hope she realizes it soon.
Before anything gets in the way.
The guys have asked me before if I liked her. Do I? No. To like, involves jealousy. To love, doesn't.
And you know what? I'm glad I'm her best friend. Because that's never going to change. I always will be her best friend. No matter what. And that's good to know.
Ever since I came, I've knew she's had a thing for Darien. I admit, I was a little envious of him at first. Though that's all over.
She's happy. What more can I ask for?
P.S. She caught me writing once. No, twice. Like I said. She's a curious one. She might even be reading this right now. But I trust her. She wouldn't invade my privacy. As much as she'd like to, she wouldn't.
Would she?
*******************
I stopped reading. Partly because that was the last entry. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself! Ugh! He trusted me. And I read it. Ooh, I hate the guilt trip. . . . he's right about one thing though. Guilt 'is' the worst human emotion.
Great, now all I'm going to be able to think about for the rest of my life is how I betrayed him! Maybe betrayed isn't the right word. How about deceived? I don't like the sound of either. Ooh! But why did he have to go and say he trusted me?!
I sighed, and got up. Crawling under the desk again, I put his journal back. But I stayed under the desk. I couldn't think properly. Ever had that feeling where it feels like your hearts being twisted and turned and wrenched out of you? Yeah... well that's guilt.
But there's something I don't get.
That 'girl' he's talking about. It's not me, is it? Even though it may sound logical, it's impossible! We've been best friends forever. How can he be so sure of himself. . . .
And that letter! It was 'him'!
Actually, that makes perfect sense. His last name starts with a D. But . . . but . . . how can he be . . . no . . . that's not right . . . he's not . . . he 'can't' be.
~You can't say it, can you?~
'Say what?'
~That he's in love with you.~
'Shut up! I have enough problems already.'
~But it's true! He's in love with you, and you're in love with Darien. Doesn't that bug you? I mean he'd take his own life away to put that smile on your face. And what do 'you' do? Go running off with some guy that's not even human! Don't you even feel the slightest bit guilty???~
'Enough! Of course I feel guilty. If your talking doesn't kill me soon enough, the guilt will! I feel awful! Worse than you'll ever know! Okay?! Happy now!?'
~No.~
'But there's nothing I can do about it! He said so himself. I can't love him. Well, I do. But in a friend type way. Because he's my best friend. No one can replace that. Not even Darien!'
~I know. I just wanted to hear you say it.~
I sighed. Leaning back, I closed my eyes. I have a 'lot' of thinking to do.
**********************************************
* Mina's House; A few days later (Author's POV)*
The girls had scattered themselves in Mina's room. Just talking. "Ooh, there's a new quiz in Seventeen. It's the 'Can You Come Back After A Setback' one. Wanna take it?" Mina asked, fishing out her Seventeen magazine from under her bed.
"Sure, why not," Serena said, who was lying on the bed, still feeling guilty about reading Matt's journal. Now every time she sees Matt, the guilt gets worse.
"Okay, Everyone hits a few stumbling blocks as they go through life -- especially in high school. Don't spend your time trying to avoid them -- the real challenge is to survive and thrive even when things don't go your way. Take this quiz to discover your coping style --- and why you might want to change it. Ready to take it Sere?"
"No, but ask anyway. How many questions are there Mina?"
"Eight. Okay?"
Serena nodded.
Clearing her throat, Mina began to read to the quiz. "Question number one. You're cut from softball tryouts. Do you:
A) Blame the coach -- she must have it out for you.
B) Realize your catching skills aren't the best and vow to practice more for next year.
Or C) Think "I'm never good at anything! Why did I bother?" ?"
"Umm . . . I don't exactly like softball. But if I did, then I'd think I'm never good at anything. So *C*."
Raye laughed from across the room. "You sure Sere? You're good at just about everything. Maybe you should pick *A*."
Serena sighed. "I wouldn't really know. I don't like softball. And all the sports I 'do' like, I'm good at . . . I think. Anyway, next question please."
"Okay. Number two. Your college letters are coming in slowly but surely: two acceptances and then-- denied by your top school. You think:
A) 'I'm not smart enough for Penn State anyway -- I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.'
B) 'My dumb guidance counselor probably screwed up somehow.'
Or C) 'Yeah, it stinks I got rejected, but I got into other schools that are just as good. Their loss!'"
"*A* I think. But my top school wouldn't be Penn State."
"Harvard U. isn't it?" Amy asked.
"Yup."
"You're almost as much of a goody two shoes as Amy. I mean Harvard? You need like a 99% average or something. Anyway. Question number 3. Billy, the hottest guy ever, walks right by you in the hall -- again. You:
A) Feel so ugly. Why doesn't he notice you?
B) Decide he's a pompous jerk.
Or C) Take matters into your own hands. Next time you see him, you'll flash your biggest smile and say hello."
"*A* again."
"Jeez girl, talk about a low self-esteem," Lita said, who was sitting beside Serena.
"Ready for question four?"
"Mmmhmm."
"Okay. All your friends are chatting about Sarah's party Friday night. But you aren't invited. What gives?
A) Maybe your invite got lost in the mail for she just forgot! You approach her casually and mention the party.
B) You're just the biggest dork ever. Or maybe you've done something wrong and she's mad at you. No wonder you weren't invited.
Or C) Sarah's just mean and nasty. She excluded you on purpose. You go to the party anyway and snub her the whole time."
"Umm... this one's sort of hard. I'd choose *C*, but I think I'll go with *B*. Because most likely, she'd be mad at me."
"Yeah, but if it were Beryl, then you'd have to pick *C*. Anyway, on with the quiz. Question five. This guy in your math class, who's kinda dweeby, asks you out for dinner and a movie. What's your reaction?
A) Turn him down immediately. No way you're gonna give the popular crowd a chance to talk about you.
B) You say yes, out of pity. You know what it's like to be rejected.
And C) You tell him you're flattered but suggest going for coffee instead. That way, you're giving him a chance, but it's not a full-out date."
"Ouch. Wouldn't want to hurt the guy's feelings. *B* definitely. Besides, I guess I could fix him up somehow. You never know. And he might have a good personality."
Raye shook her head. "Always the nice one, eh?"
"Yeah, well I used to be like him."
Mina nodded. "True." Then turning back to the magazine, she smiled. "I don't think you can answer the next one. You don't have an older sister. It says, Mom and Dad are always asking you why you can't be more like your older (completely perfect) sister. You:
A) agree with them. You feel like a loser who can never do anything right.
B) talk to your parents about all the pressure you feel from the comparison.
Or C) resent your older sister -- and lash out. At least now, you're really different."
"Well, there's always Sammy, but I think I can outsmart him. So . . . *A*. I don't like messing with my parents."
"Your parents seem nice. But check out question seven. The head cheerleader sneers when you and your best friend sit down at her lunch table. You:
A) look at your friend, the two of you burst out laughing, ignore the snob and enjoy talking to each other through the whole lunch period.
B) blush, stammer "sorry" and move to another table.
Or C) glare back at her -- she's the one with the problem. And you loudly tell her so, before storming off."
"Well . . . I'd probably just stay there. So *A*."
Lita laughed. "Raye would probably glare back and let all her anger out."
"Well I 'would.' She's the one with the problem."
"Mmmhmm.. Okay Serena, last question. You got a 'C' on that Calc test you studied your butt off for. You:
A) Think the teacher was misleading. She said the test was gonna be one way and it was completely different. It wasn't your fault.
B) Know you could've studied even harder. It stinks, but you'll just have to put in a better effort next time.
Or C) feel like a failure, especially when your friends are showing off their good grades. You refuse to show your paper to anyone."
"*C*. I hate it when I get bad grades . . . so what's my score?" Serena asked, though she already knew. It was obvious from the questions.
"Well . . . you scored 8 out of 24 points. Which means. . . . " Mina flipped to the next page, "That you're a Betty Blameherself. Here's what it says:
Dear Betty: Say this "I'm an intelligent, awesome , talented girl." Repeat anytime you need a boost. Don't let a one-time failure define you. Learn from the experience to make yourself stronger. It's good that you take responsibility for not studying enough for a test or needing to work on your batting skills for softball tryouts -- you don't try to make excuses. But turn that self-knowledge into
something positive. You'll definitely knock 'em dead then!"
Serena looked at Mina skeptically. "If I say that, doesn't that make me sound vain?"
Mina shrugged. "Well, that's what it says to do."
"Oh well, let's go out for ice cream now. We're wasting a perfectly good day," Amy said, looking out the window at the sun, leisurely hanging over them.
Serena nodded. "Alright, let's go. I need to clear my head a bit anyway."
************************************
*3 weeks later (At the airport)*
Matt and Serena stood in front of the paned glass wall, watching the plane land. The rest of the group came along, but Serena insisted they wait outside the departure area. She wanted to see Matt off by herself. "Do you really have to go? Can't you just stay a few more weeks? Just until after Christmas?" Serena asked, looking down.
She hated goodbyes. Where's the 'good' in it? And after all this time, the guilt 'still' gnawed at her. Maybe she should just tell him. . . .
But she kept her head down. She wouldn't look up. She 'couldn't' look up. Matt knew her well enough to know when something's wrong, and who knows what her tear glands are up to.
Matt smiled down at her. Something had been different about her. If he hadn't known better, he would've thought it was guilt. "Come on, cheer up, Rena. You know I have to go. But it's not like I won't ever see you again. There's always this summer," he said gently, giving her shoulder a friendly squeeze. Everything would be alright. As long as she doesn't cry. . . .
"But summer's still in half a year. And I haven't spent Christmas with you in four years. Can't you just stay for a few more days? Please?"
With her head still down, he could barely hear her. "You know I would if I could. But you could always come visit me during Spring Break. My parents would love it if you came to Tennessee. And you're welcome to stay as long as you want too. You know how it is, you're practically family."
Serena bit her lip . . . why does he have to be so nice to her . . . she could already feel the heat rising in her eyes and the moister building up.
"I'm still going to miss you though," she said quietly, straining to keep her voice steady.
"I'll miss you too, but hey, don't cry. Remember two years ago when you got the entire airport staring at us? And look at the bright side of things. You're not at home, wasting another perfectly sunny day."
Serena just nodded, staring at her feet. But she couldn't keep her head down forever. 'Why does he have to be so damn happy. As if his life couldn't be more perfect. . . . '
Though the thought of seeing Matt walk away kept making her eyes fill up. 'Guess I just cry easily,' Serena thought, just as she heard the last boarding call for Matt's flight. She lifted her head up, not even realizing the motion brought a tear down her cheek.
Matt brought his hand up, catching the falling droplet, wiping it away with his thumb. He gave her one of his softer smiles. "No more tears, okay?"
She nodded.
"Promise?"
She gave a slight laugh, but it came out more like a choked sob. "You were the one who taught me never to make promises I couldn't keep."
He gave her a halfhearted grin, encasing her in a warm hug. "See me off with a smile?"
"Okay," she whispered.
Giving Serena a quick kiss on her forehead, he stepped back. "I better be going."
Serena swallowed the urge to let more tears spill. Sniffling, she forced a genuine smile onto her face. "You better hurry. You wouldn't want to miss your flight."
Matt's eyes softened at her attempt to keep that smile on her face.
"Bye, Rena," he said, before turning around. Flashing her one last smile before boarding the plane.
Serena watched as he left. She didn't care who was staring at her. The strained smile stayed on her face as she just stood there, watching the plane.
Serena didn't know how long she stayed like that. But she wasn't going to cry. She wasn't. No matter what, she would keep that smile on her face. Serena silently watched the plane go down the runway.
Watching it take off. Watching it become smaller against the sky. And watching until it disappeared within the clouds.
Then slowly closing her eyes, a second tear slid down her cheek.
**************************
To be continued....
See?! No cliffhanger!!! Happy now? :)
But the story's going to continue in Chapter 8.
Chapter 7 was a bit short, wasn't it? Well that's because it was originally the other half of Chapter 6.
WELL?? What'd 'ya think of Chappie 7???
And anways, thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for reading. And for some of you, reviewing.
Seeya in Chapter 8.
Chapter: 7
Author: Ashlee Angel
Email: ashlee_c69@hotmail.com
Disclaimer - Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi..... And frankly, I'm not Naoko Takeuchi
*.:.*.:.*.:.*.:.* Chapter 7 *.:.*.:.*.:.*.:.*
*Recap*
Holding my breath, I opened the navy blue cover before my guilt got the best of me. Convincing myself one last time that I'd be able to make it up to him, I began to read. . . .
***
I frowned. These entries dated back to almost two years ago. Everything seemed to be about this girl, whoever she is. He never mentioned her name. Not once. But you could tell she meant everything to him.
Wonder why he never mentioned her to me. Flipping to a recent one, I stopped at when I got to September of this year.
***
September 2nd, 2002
She's probably at school right how. Something she claims to be hell.
She's got an attitude under those clothes of hers. Those glasses too. But can you believe it? She doesn't even need them. They're two useless pieces of glass that hide the depth of the sky that's hidden in her eyes.
I don't understand why everyone treats her like such. I really don't. If they'd just give her a chance.
But it's their own fault. It's their loss to miss out on someone like her. They're stupid not to know she's worth more than they'll ever be. I should be thanking God that I'm her best friend. And you're probably laughing at me right now. But you know what?
I love her. Really, I do. More than anything.
She'll never know though. I wouldn't let her. But being as foolish as I am, I practically did. . . .
Through a song.
I don't even know what possessed me to call the radio station. I just had to get it out. She probably didn't even hear.
Actually, I 'know' she didn't. I made sure I called before her ride picked her up. Am I coward? Maybe. You know . . . I think I'm insane. But that's okay.
Anything for her.
***
September 4th, 2002
You know, I don't know how I managed it. But I did. She's always been a curious one. She'll figure it out somehow. It's not that hard, is it?
8 letters.
3 words.
1 meaning.
I love you.
Pathetic, isn't it? But I couldn't just type out that I loved her. Or maybe I could. But I don't deserve her. She deserves better.
Much better.
***
September 28th, 2002
Been too busy lately. Everything's her. Her. And more her.
But I've never used her name in this, have I? It's not that I don't like her name. Not that at all. Far from that. Her name suits her perfectly. But somehow it doesn't fit her at all. She's much too perfect to have a simple name describe her.
Think I'm a raving psychopath yet? Don't worry, I laugh at myself too. But even an angel doesn't compare. I just hope she finds her prince charming.
Whoever he is.
***
October 4th, 2002
I'm finally here. After not seeing her for two years. Which lasted like twenty. I got here last night. Scared her I think. But she was happy to see me.
I think. Though you know what? She seems to be living the life she's always wanted. Which only makes her even more amazing than she already is.
She really 'is' something.
And I think she's found someone that's the key to her happiness. Even though she denies it. Though what's the use of denying the truth? It's still there.
She might not know it. She might not 'want' to know it. But she's fallen.
Hard.
***
November 3rd, 2002
I was right. I 'am' right. But let's just hope Darien will treat her for what she is. They're head over heels for each other, and they won't admit it.
But here I am. Smiling.
Why don't I just snag her for myself? Because she could never be completely happy with me. I should be jealous that she loves Darien, shouldn't I be?
But I'm not. Besides, it'd be cruel to get in between those two for my own selfish reasons. And the guilt. The most unbearable human emotion, because it can haunt you even after you die.
She and Darien will end up together in the end anyway. They both won't admit it. But they'll have to soon enough. You should really see how happy she is with him. Let's just hope she realizes it soon.
Before anything gets in the way.
The guys have asked me before if I liked her. Do I? No. To like, involves jealousy. To love, doesn't.
And you know what? I'm glad I'm her best friend. Because that's never going to change. I always will be her best friend. No matter what. And that's good to know.
Ever since I came, I've knew she's had a thing for Darien. I admit, I was a little envious of him at first. Though that's all over.
She's happy. What more can I ask for?
P.S. She caught me writing once. No, twice. Like I said. She's a curious one. She might even be reading this right now. But I trust her. She wouldn't invade my privacy. As much as she'd like to, she wouldn't.
Would she?
*******************
I stopped reading. Partly because that was the last entry. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself! Ugh! He trusted me. And I read it. Ooh, I hate the guilt trip. . . . he's right about one thing though. Guilt 'is' the worst human emotion.
Great, now all I'm going to be able to think about for the rest of my life is how I betrayed him! Maybe betrayed isn't the right word. How about deceived? I don't like the sound of either. Ooh! But why did he have to go and say he trusted me?!
I sighed, and got up. Crawling under the desk again, I put his journal back. But I stayed under the desk. I couldn't think properly. Ever had that feeling where it feels like your hearts being twisted and turned and wrenched out of you? Yeah... well that's guilt.
But there's something I don't get.
That 'girl' he's talking about. It's not me, is it? Even though it may sound logical, it's impossible! We've been best friends forever. How can he be so sure of himself. . . .
And that letter! It was 'him'!
Actually, that makes perfect sense. His last name starts with a D. But . . . but . . . how can he be . . . no . . . that's not right . . . he's not . . . he 'can't' be.
~You can't say it, can you?~
'Say what?'
~That he's in love with you.~
'Shut up! I have enough problems already.'
~But it's true! He's in love with you, and you're in love with Darien. Doesn't that bug you? I mean he'd take his own life away to put that smile on your face. And what do 'you' do? Go running off with some guy that's not even human! Don't you even feel the slightest bit guilty???~
'Enough! Of course I feel guilty. If your talking doesn't kill me soon enough, the guilt will! I feel awful! Worse than you'll ever know! Okay?! Happy now!?'
~No.~
'But there's nothing I can do about it! He said so himself. I can't love him. Well, I do. But in a friend type way. Because he's my best friend. No one can replace that. Not even Darien!'
~I know. I just wanted to hear you say it.~
I sighed. Leaning back, I closed my eyes. I have a 'lot' of thinking to do.
**********************************************
* Mina's House; A few days later (Author's POV)*
The girls had scattered themselves in Mina's room. Just talking. "Ooh, there's a new quiz in Seventeen. It's the 'Can You Come Back After A Setback' one. Wanna take it?" Mina asked, fishing out her Seventeen magazine from under her bed.
"Sure, why not," Serena said, who was lying on the bed, still feeling guilty about reading Matt's journal. Now every time she sees Matt, the guilt gets worse.
"Okay, Everyone hits a few stumbling blocks as they go through life -- especially in high school. Don't spend your time trying to avoid them -- the real challenge is to survive and thrive even when things don't go your way. Take this quiz to discover your coping style --- and why you might want to change it. Ready to take it Sere?"
"No, but ask anyway. How many questions are there Mina?"
"Eight. Okay?"
Serena nodded.
Clearing her throat, Mina began to read to the quiz. "Question number one. You're cut from softball tryouts. Do you:
A) Blame the coach -- she must have it out for you.
B) Realize your catching skills aren't the best and vow to practice more for next year.
Or C) Think "I'm never good at anything! Why did I bother?" ?"
"Umm . . . I don't exactly like softball. But if I did, then I'd think I'm never good at anything. So *C*."
Raye laughed from across the room. "You sure Sere? You're good at just about everything. Maybe you should pick *A*."
Serena sighed. "I wouldn't really know. I don't like softball. And all the sports I 'do' like, I'm good at . . . I think. Anyway, next question please."
"Okay. Number two. Your college letters are coming in slowly but surely: two acceptances and then-- denied by your top school. You think:
A) 'I'm not smart enough for Penn State anyway -- I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.'
B) 'My dumb guidance counselor probably screwed up somehow.'
Or C) 'Yeah, it stinks I got rejected, but I got into other schools that are just as good. Their loss!'"
"*A* I think. But my top school wouldn't be Penn State."
"Harvard U. isn't it?" Amy asked.
"Yup."
"You're almost as much of a goody two shoes as Amy. I mean Harvard? You need like a 99% average or something. Anyway. Question number 3. Billy, the hottest guy ever, walks right by you in the hall -- again. You:
A) Feel so ugly. Why doesn't he notice you?
B) Decide he's a pompous jerk.
Or C) Take matters into your own hands. Next time you see him, you'll flash your biggest smile and say hello."
"*A* again."
"Jeez girl, talk about a low self-esteem," Lita said, who was sitting beside Serena.
"Ready for question four?"
"Mmmhmm."
"Okay. All your friends are chatting about Sarah's party Friday night. But you aren't invited. What gives?
A) Maybe your invite got lost in the mail for she just forgot! You approach her casually and mention the party.
B) You're just the biggest dork ever. Or maybe you've done something wrong and she's mad at you. No wonder you weren't invited.
Or C) Sarah's just mean and nasty. She excluded you on purpose. You go to the party anyway and snub her the whole time."
"Umm... this one's sort of hard. I'd choose *C*, but I think I'll go with *B*. Because most likely, she'd be mad at me."
"Yeah, but if it were Beryl, then you'd have to pick *C*. Anyway, on with the quiz. Question five. This guy in your math class, who's kinda dweeby, asks you out for dinner and a movie. What's your reaction?
A) Turn him down immediately. No way you're gonna give the popular crowd a chance to talk about you.
B) You say yes, out of pity. You know what it's like to be rejected.
And C) You tell him you're flattered but suggest going for coffee instead. That way, you're giving him a chance, but it's not a full-out date."
"Ouch. Wouldn't want to hurt the guy's feelings. *B* definitely. Besides, I guess I could fix him up somehow. You never know. And he might have a good personality."
Raye shook her head. "Always the nice one, eh?"
"Yeah, well I used to be like him."
Mina nodded. "True." Then turning back to the magazine, she smiled. "I don't think you can answer the next one. You don't have an older sister. It says, Mom and Dad are always asking you why you can't be more like your older (completely perfect) sister. You:
A) agree with them. You feel like a loser who can never do anything right.
B) talk to your parents about all the pressure you feel from the comparison.
Or C) resent your older sister -- and lash out. At least now, you're really different."
"Well, there's always Sammy, but I think I can outsmart him. So . . . *A*. I don't like messing with my parents."
"Your parents seem nice. But check out question seven. The head cheerleader sneers when you and your best friend sit down at her lunch table. You:
A) look at your friend, the two of you burst out laughing, ignore the snob and enjoy talking to each other through the whole lunch period.
B) blush, stammer "sorry" and move to another table.
Or C) glare back at her -- she's the one with the problem. And you loudly tell her so, before storming off."
"Well . . . I'd probably just stay there. So *A*."
Lita laughed. "Raye would probably glare back and let all her anger out."
"Well I 'would.' She's the one with the problem."
"Mmmhmm.. Okay Serena, last question. You got a 'C' on that Calc test you studied your butt off for. You:
A) Think the teacher was misleading. She said the test was gonna be one way and it was completely different. It wasn't your fault.
B) Know you could've studied even harder. It stinks, but you'll just have to put in a better effort next time.
Or C) feel like a failure, especially when your friends are showing off their good grades. You refuse to show your paper to anyone."
"*C*. I hate it when I get bad grades . . . so what's my score?" Serena asked, though she already knew. It was obvious from the questions.
"Well . . . you scored 8 out of 24 points. Which means. . . . " Mina flipped to the next page, "That you're a Betty Blameherself. Here's what it says:
Dear Betty: Say this "I'm an intelligent, awesome , talented girl." Repeat anytime you need a boost. Don't let a one-time failure define you. Learn from the experience to make yourself stronger. It's good that you take responsibility for not studying enough for a test or needing to work on your batting skills for softball tryouts -- you don't try to make excuses. But turn that self-knowledge into
something positive. You'll definitely knock 'em dead then!"
Serena looked at Mina skeptically. "If I say that, doesn't that make me sound vain?"
Mina shrugged. "Well, that's what it says to do."
"Oh well, let's go out for ice cream now. We're wasting a perfectly good day," Amy said, looking out the window at the sun, leisurely hanging over them.
Serena nodded. "Alright, let's go. I need to clear my head a bit anyway."
************************************
*3 weeks later (At the airport)*
Matt and Serena stood in front of the paned glass wall, watching the plane land. The rest of the group came along, but Serena insisted they wait outside the departure area. She wanted to see Matt off by herself. "Do you really have to go? Can't you just stay a few more weeks? Just until after Christmas?" Serena asked, looking down.
She hated goodbyes. Where's the 'good' in it? And after all this time, the guilt 'still' gnawed at her. Maybe she should just tell him. . . .
But she kept her head down. She wouldn't look up. She 'couldn't' look up. Matt knew her well enough to know when something's wrong, and who knows what her tear glands are up to.
Matt smiled down at her. Something had been different about her. If he hadn't known better, he would've thought it was guilt. "Come on, cheer up, Rena. You know I have to go. But it's not like I won't ever see you again. There's always this summer," he said gently, giving her shoulder a friendly squeeze. Everything would be alright. As long as she doesn't cry. . . .
"But summer's still in half a year. And I haven't spent Christmas with you in four years. Can't you just stay for a few more days? Please?"
With her head still down, he could barely hear her. "You know I would if I could. But you could always come visit me during Spring Break. My parents would love it if you came to Tennessee. And you're welcome to stay as long as you want too. You know how it is, you're practically family."
Serena bit her lip . . . why does he have to be so nice to her . . . she could already feel the heat rising in her eyes and the moister building up.
"I'm still going to miss you though," she said quietly, straining to keep her voice steady.
"I'll miss you too, but hey, don't cry. Remember two years ago when you got the entire airport staring at us? And look at the bright side of things. You're not at home, wasting another perfectly sunny day."
Serena just nodded, staring at her feet. But she couldn't keep her head down forever. 'Why does he have to be so damn happy. As if his life couldn't be more perfect. . . . '
Though the thought of seeing Matt walk away kept making her eyes fill up. 'Guess I just cry easily,' Serena thought, just as she heard the last boarding call for Matt's flight. She lifted her head up, not even realizing the motion brought a tear down her cheek.
Matt brought his hand up, catching the falling droplet, wiping it away with his thumb. He gave her one of his softer smiles. "No more tears, okay?"
She nodded.
"Promise?"
She gave a slight laugh, but it came out more like a choked sob. "You were the one who taught me never to make promises I couldn't keep."
He gave her a halfhearted grin, encasing her in a warm hug. "See me off with a smile?"
"Okay," she whispered.
Giving Serena a quick kiss on her forehead, he stepped back. "I better be going."
Serena swallowed the urge to let more tears spill. Sniffling, she forced a genuine smile onto her face. "You better hurry. You wouldn't want to miss your flight."
Matt's eyes softened at her attempt to keep that smile on her face.
"Bye, Rena," he said, before turning around. Flashing her one last smile before boarding the plane.
Serena watched as he left. She didn't care who was staring at her. The strained smile stayed on her face as she just stood there, watching the plane.
Serena didn't know how long she stayed like that. But she wasn't going to cry. She wasn't. No matter what, she would keep that smile on her face. Serena silently watched the plane go down the runway.
Watching it take off. Watching it become smaller against the sky. And watching until it disappeared within the clouds.
Then slowly closing her eyes, a second tear slid down her cheek.
**************************
To be continued....
See?! No cliffhanger!!! Happy now? :)
But the story's going to continue in Chapter 8.
Chapter 7 was a bit short, wasn't it? Well that's because it was originally the other half of Chapter 6.
WELL?? What'd 'ya think of Chappie 7???
And anways, thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for reading. And for some of you, reviewing.
Seeya in Chapter 8.