As promised, here is the next installment of Powerless :)

This chapter was a bit of a grim write, but it adds to the drama.

NOTE- I wrote this poem. DO NOT USE IT UNLESS YOU APPROACH ME ABOUT IT FIRST AND CREDIT THAT IT'S MINE. Otherwise it would be an infringement of copyright. And I do apologise because it is quite rubbish poetry. I do a bit of free-verse and I can't believe my brain came up with this.

Again, Don may be a bit OOC in some peoples' opinions, but I think the reasoning is justified.

Disclaimer- Everything but the poem DOES NOT belong to me :L

Chapter 7- Falling Apart

Leo only remained in his room for the rest of that day. Don and even Mikey had not been able to reach him in his state of perpetual grief. They had eventually managed to provoke him into moving to bed, but he said nothing to them and refused to look either of them in the eyes. What worried the genius more than anything was that his eldest brother had not shed a single tear. Whilst none of them enjoyed seeing another cry, the absence of tears was not conducive in healing from emotional uproar.

However, after a day spent in sorrow, the eldest turtle emerged from his room the next morning as if nothing had happened. His face was once again the picture of tranquillity. It was as if he hadn't lost Usagi.

At least, that's what it seemed like at first. Within hours, the family were beginning to see the tell-tale signs of Leonardo's 'mask'. No emotion reached his eyes, which, looking closely, were completely empty of any spark of life. It was as if his steely green eyes had turned entirely grey, dulling with the loss of colour.

He also refused to speak more than a few words and only whenever someone tried to speak to him. Don was desperately trying to help his brother through the pain he knew the elder was suffering from, but Leo refused to talk about his feelings, briefly stating that they weren't important. This disturbed the genius turtle. As the days went on and continued to bring failure, Don began to wonder if this sense of self-depreciation that Leo forced himself into had come along before Usagi's banishment. This only served to fill him with dread as he could not remember the last time anyone had talked to Leo about his emotions. Yes, there had been that time when the blue banded turtle had been overcome with a self-destructive rage and they had all been worried for him, but they had not done anything to be there for him. Instead, Leo had been sent away to a complete stranger, despite having met the Ancient One once when they were very small. Don then drew the conclusion that, whereas Leo had always been there for his brothers and dutifully served their father, they had spent years neglecting his needs. Yes, he was the leader and he had rarely let anything on, but that was hardly an excuse. In short, they had completely failed him, though he was now acting like he had been the one to fail them.

Like the time he had been consumed with a hatred for himself over failing to come up with a solution that would save them from an exploding ship, Leo had once again taken to his training as if nothing else mattered. Even after they had finished training, the eldest would remain behind for hours to run through everything he had learnt with the excuse that he didn't want to get rusty. Don and Mike knew it was utter rubbish. Splinter and Raph probably did too, but things for them with Leo were so awkward now. It was obvious to the two youngest that Leo was forcing his body through hours upon hours of training so that the physical pain would overtake the emotional. He barely spent any time meditating anymore- he was either in the dojo or his room training.

Mikey also confessed that Leo was being difficult when it came to eating and sleeping. The youngest was the best cook in the family and therefore was assigned kitchen duty most of the time. These days, they rarely ate a meal together. However, Mike did all he could to make sure that he always ate when Leo ventured anywhere near the kitchen. He had even resorted to dragging the eldest to a seat and forcing a plate in front of him. The prankster knew Leo only ate to please him, but he'd rather that than Leo dying of starvation. On the other hand, Leo never ate more than half of what Mikey gave him. When it came to sleeping, Mikey would occasionally wake up in the middle of the night to relieve himself or grab a drink and he had caught his brother training in the early hours of the morning. Mike had even asked Don if he could help him slip Leo something in his food to help him sleep, but Don was reluctant. They were the only ones Leonardo seemed to be comfortable with and he did not want to break that trust. To their dismay though, Leo was gradually losing muscle mass. Apart from Don, he had always been the leanest, but now he was becoming frighteningly gaunt. Don knew that they had to act soon, even if Leo did not like it.

Leo also no longer responded to Mikey's jokes like he used to. At times, he would chastise the youngest about aggravating Raph or causing too much noise. Other times, he would laugh with him. Now though, Leo wouldn't warn his brother to be quiet. He would silently stop the jokester from aggravating Raph and therefore prevent a serious confrontation. Whenever Mikey did something funny, Leo would give a slight smile and pat his shoulder before walking away.

Mikey himself had no idea how to cope with a clearly depressed big brother. Leo had never been like this and it scared him more than he cared to admit. He was also split between his family. All of them were avoiding each other in some form and Mikey had no idea how to go about binding them back together. On the one hand he was upset with his father and Raph for their actions against Leo and he supported Don in trying to aid their brother, but he still loved the offending parties. They were all they had after all and it pained the youngest to see them divided no matter how he tried to brighten things up.

Raph himself was a problem that disgusted Don and even made Mikey slightly mad, which in itself was worrying. He spent most of his days avoiding Leo as much as he could, not even bothering to acknowledge his existence. On the occasions that he did, it was even worse. Sometimes he would silently watch Leo training before turning away with a grunt and not saying a word to his brother. A few days after Leo had started this routine, it also seemed that Raph was doing all he could to break his brother even more by making comments about the relationship, asking Leo if he was over the rabbit yet and if he missed the time in the bedroom. Such behaviour had Donatello, the pacifist of the family, wanting to clout his older brother over the head with his bō to knock some sense into him. The only thing stopping him was Mike's pleas for an avoidance of a physical fight that he knew Leo would get dragged into. Then all shell would definitely hit the fan.

Though it did little to redeem him in the genius' eyes, Master Splinter was reproaching Raphael for his derogatory comments, punishing him with extra training, more chores and forbidding him to go topside. After the first couple of reprimands, Raph's insults died down to a certain degree. The fact that they were still there hardly made anything better. And instead of rising to the bait that Raph gave him, Leo merely took what his brother said and went about his day as normal.

Master Splinter himself appeared to have no idea what to do with his eldest son. Like Raph, he would silently watch the turtle train endlessly. He would occasionally halt Leo and either ask him if he wanted to talk or told him to get some rest. When his sensei tried to provide counsel, the turtle's face would twist into a weird expression before stating that he was fine and that he needed to train. The times when Splinter told him to stop in his routine, Leo would leave quietly. The aged rat was always concerned and heartbroken to see that his son looked dejected when this happened. What made it worse was that he now refused to make eye-contact with him.

Practice was the worst. The awkwardness that hung around them was a palpable feeling that heightened the discomfort they felt with each other. Leo was silent during these times now, even when they were paired off for sparring. He didn't look at any of them, just continued to automatically follow his sensei's instructions. Raph was clearly incensed with all three of his brothers and made things harsher and more violent than necessary when they sparred. Mikey was left in the situation of adapting to his brother's moods, clearly torn with what he should do. Don himself refused to speak to the hothead and his master, but he sent looks towards the latter, which he was sure were picked up on. The message was clear.

"Look what you've done. See how broken he is? You did that."

Their friends had also been alerted about the problem. Whilst Mikey had merely told Leatherhead and Professor Honeycutt that there were problems at home and that they needed time, Don had explained the full story to April and Casey. Though Don had dreaded that April would try and be impartial because of Splinter's decision, he was mildly relieved at her anger towards their father and Raph for hurting Leo to such a degree. April had then demanded that he and Mike bring Leo over for a visit, but Don had had to decline. In the time that Leo had drawn into himself, it had become apparent that he did not welcome any attention focused on himself. Thinking about it, Leo had spent years trying to not be separate from his brothers in anything but improving his skills as a ninja- another cause for concern.

Meanwhile, from what Don could hear down the phone, Casey had vehemently and explicitly condemned Raph and Splinter's behaviour, swearing blind that if they didn't sort themselves out then he would give them something to be sorry for. At this point, April had had to remind her husband that violence would not solve anything. She had then told Don something that made his resolve against his father all the stronger.

"That is like saying that I should divorce Casey," she had said. "He spends a lot of his evenings as a vigilante and it's not as if the Foot and the Purple Dragons don't know who he is. You could argue that I'm in danger of retribution, but that never deterred me from staying with him. I know you've all not been exposed to society like we have, but that's no excuse for tearing apart a relationship."

"Sometimes I'm afraid that he'll just pack everything up and go after Usagi," Don admitted.

"He wouldn't, Don. Leo needs you as much as you need him. But from what you've told me, Leo needs Usagi as well. That's the thing with love- you need them as much as you want them."

"I know. It's tearing him apart, April. One day we'll wake up and Leo will be completely gone. It doesn't help that I've noticed certain things."

"Like what, Donnie?"

"I need more time to figure everything out, but I think when I do I might need your help. He might need someone who's not one of us or Master Splinter to try and get him to talk. Leo's never been one to share what he's feeling."

"Not even to Master Splinter?"

"I honestly don't think so. Despite all the time they spend having tea together, I doubt it was ever about Leo's feelings. If that was the case then I don't think Sensei would have ever had to send him to the Ancient One."

April had been most upset by this.

Don was furious. No, scrap that. He was livid.

Raph had officially taken one step too far and as Don dragged his older brother towards his room, he thought back on what had just happened.

Don and Mike had been trying to watch a film that evening after winding down from evening practice and Leo, as usual, continued onwards in the late hours, pushing himself towards the point of physical exhaustion. It was habit that he had refused to stop even with Splinter's intermittent interruptions.

All of a sudden, Raphael had come bursting out of nowhere and grabbed the eldest by his shoulders.

"I've had it, Leo! I've had it with this pity-party you're throwing yourself!"

There was no reply as the blue banded turtle merely stared back at him with a blank expression. Don and Mike on the other hand sprinted towards them, knowing that Raph meant business and that he would probably resort to violence.

"Do we mean that lil' to ya that ya try ta kill yerself? I may not be Don, bu' I can see that yer turning inta a freakin' livin' skeleton. Would ya ratha go afte' the frickin' rabbit an' shack up with him? 'Cause ta me it's like yer not gonna get ova 'im so ya might as well go off if ya ain't gonna snap out of it. Or would ya rather we settle it now so that ya'll stop acting like some love-sick girl?"

Again, he was met with silence and a despondent brother. That did not mean his other brothers were going to act in the same manner.

Literally dragging Raph by the tails of his bandana, Don had pulled him away, leaving Mikey with a now shaking Leonardo.

Hurling his brother into his own room, Don slammed the door before turning to his enraged brother.

"What the shell is your problem, Raphael?" he stormed. He quickly noted that Raph did not have his sai on him, for which he was thankful. "Are you trying to make Leo kill himself?"

"Ya can' tell me that you aren't getting tired of it, Brainiac."

"No, what I'm getting tired of is your constant jibing at him. What I can't stand is that you're breaking him down even more. Why can't you find it in yourself to support him? He's heartbroken you hot-headed idiot! But no, it's not enough that Sensei destroyed the only romantic love he's probably ever felt and goes around treating him like glass, not even pushing to try and help him. You have to add your penny's worth and make him feel like their relationship was the worst thing that could have happened. Or has this been brought on because Usagi's male? You had no problem getting friendly with Joy, but when your brother falls in love with a bloke, you get all shirty about it."

"Let's get summin' straight, Brainiac. I ain't got nothin' 'gainst gays, period. He jus' needs ta get ova it, Don! Usagi's gone an' Sensei ain't eva gonna let 'im come back."

"Are you telling me that your behaviour towards Leo has been in the hopes of making him forget Usagi? I don't think I've ever heard a worse excuse. Leo's broken, Raph. He probably has been for years. Usagi fixed him up but now he's broken again and you're trampling on the bits left behind."

"The shell ya talkin' about, Genius?"

"You want to know? You want the truth? Fine! We are the worst family in existence!"

Raph couldn't seem to think of anything to say to that. Only his eyes widened as if he could not comprehend what his brother was saying.

"We've taken him for granted ever since we were small- basically all of our lives. He helps us, comforts us, and yet we never took the time to ask him about how he feels. Whilst we were off playing, he was always trying to make sure that we were safe. And I don't give a damn what you think, but Leo only trained harder than us to protect us. We're all he's ever cared about. He's never had any proper hobbies because he spends most of his time trying to 'make himself better' for us and for Sensei."

"Uh, newsflash Donnie- Leo has hobbies. He plays games and stuff, and he has 'is scooter."

"No Raph, they were never hobbies. He's always doing something that we want to. He's always playing games with us- he never chooses that sort of thing for himself. And he never asked for the scooter. I've finally realised that more than anything I made it for him to try out and the selfless sod just took it to make me happy. All he makes decisions in is battle plans, Raph. It was different when he started seeing Usagi, but before that... He tries so hard to be one of us and yet we haven't done anything to return the favours he gives us. We don't encourage him in anything. He's overprotective because he cares and we're all that he has, which is why he's always on your case for sneaking out. What makes it worse is that Sensei encouraged this behaviour.

"And another thing- answer me this- when was the last time any of us gave him a hug. He's given us hugs, but when was the last time we initiated it."

That terrified Raph more than anything and the other turtle could see the shock dawn on his face.

"I don' remember."

"Neither did I until a few days ago. The last time I remember any of us, Sensei included, hugging him was when Mikey had his rematch- and that was only Mike hugging him. The last time you, me and Sensei did was when he defeated the Daimyo's son. Three years ago, Raph. And before that, I have no clue. We may be teenagers, but we still need the support. We still need to feel like we're loved, and something tells me we've never given that to Leo." By now, the genius was in tears. "And Sensei's just as much to blame as the rest of us. Sure, he's helped Leo with a couple of problems, like his fear of heights, but he wasn't so sympathetic when Leo became an even worse version of you on a bad day. He sent him off. Leo must have felt like the biggest failure in the world and we did nothing. We've always known that he doesn't like failure and we did nothing apart from comment on how aggressive he was becoming. And I've only ever heard Splinter say he was proud of Leo once. Yeah, he's told me he's proud of me whenever I build something helpful. He's always told Mikey that he's proud of him ever since he was small and he did all those drawings and when he manages to do really well in training. He's even told you he was proud of you when you've curbed your anger and shown that you can care. But with Leo it was always pushing him to do better. To be better than he already was, even though he was the best big brother we could ask for. And the only time he's hugged him is when Leo won one battle, not in training or anything when Leo strives to please him.

"And then Usagi came along and I know you noticed that Leo was happier and more relaxed. He even got our bro to look into stuff that might interest him. Then Leo had that ripped from him and he's been left back where he started, but worse off because he had the only person who's ever shown him they loved him taken away by this family.

"So in a nutshell, Raphael, we have deprived our brother of any proper familial love for pretty much all of his life, the only things that have ever interested him are ninjutsu and keeping us alive, and he's suffering from a broken heart. And you have had the nerve to drive him further into depression because, for some reason, you cannot seem to accept the fact that he's in love."

By the end of his speech, Donatello was gasping for breath as the tears continued to pour down his cheeks. Raph was not doing any better. His own green eyes were brimming and he could not prevent the moisture from condensing and plopping onto his plastron.

"I never…"

"That's the point! None of us did! We love our brother but we've never shown it properly. And what you've been doing recently has probably made him think that you hate him. I know I'd think that."

"I don't hate him." Raph sounded properly cowed by now.

"You've got a funny way of showing it!"

The red banded turtle hung his head. "At first… I was angry with him, Don, 'cause I though' he would leave us."

"Don't be thick! He'd rather have his limbs removed than leave us!"

"I know that here." He pointed to his heart. "But… okay, I betcha neva saw Leo an' Usagi kissin' or anythin' like that, am I right? When I walked in on 'em that day… shell, Don. I'd neva seen him that happy. They were kissin' and huggin in tha' real cheesy way and he was so damn happy. My head jus' started tellin' me tha' he would leave 'cause we've neva made 'im that relaxed. All I ever gave him was grief so…"

"You thought that Leo would leave so that he didn't have to put up with any of that anymore."

"Yeah… and, alright I admit it, I was glad when Splinter forbade it 'cause-"

"He didn't forbid it in that way."

"What?"

"You didn't know? Mikey overheard them. Splinter gave him the choice- us or Usagi. He couldn't have both. And if he chose Usagi then he wouldn't be allowed to see us again."

"But… but…"

"You thought that Leo would just roll over for Sensei even though it would break him? From what Mike's told me, they both fought for it, but in the end, Splinter gave Leo a decision he couldn't possibly make. Usagi left so that Leo wouldn't lose us- he gave up their happiness so that Leo wouldn't destroy himself in the process. But that didn't really work because he's just slowly killing himself anyway. And if you'd have been a decent brother instead of moping and insulting him, you'd have seen how wrecked Leo was for the rest of the day."

"Oh God… Oh shell, Don. I'm sorry, I didn't… I didn't know."

"If you think that excuses your behaviour then you can think again. I won't forgive you until Leo does and after tonight, I think you should leave him alone for a while. There's been enough damage, so let him to recuperate from that before you go to him. And I expect you to."

Despite Raph being the resident badass, he couldn't help but quake under his younger brother's penetrating glare.

"I don't think we can wait," a tired voice came from the door. The pair turned to see Mikey standing in the doorway, clutching a piece of paper in his hand.

"What's wrong, Mike?" Don asked. "Where's Leo?"

"Remember all that art stuff he started doing. He's… He's throwing it all out. I think what you said got to him, Raph. He's chucking out anything that reminds him of Usagi."

"Aw shell."

"Looks like he took what you said literally," Don sighed. "He's doing it to please us because he thinks he's hurting us. That selfless idiot."

"Don, you need to read this." The orange banded turtle handed the piece of paper to his slightly older brother. "It's not good, bro. 'Fact it downright scared me just reading it once."

"Read it out loud, Don," Raph requested.

It was grim reading.

Take My Heart Away From Me

Take my heart away from me,

Because all has turned to ash.

Once it was half of a whole,

But now it is rendered in two.

Take my heart away from me,

For I am an empty shell.

What is the point of having a heart,

If you feel nothing at all?

Take my heart away from me,

As I can give nothing else.

My mind and soul are broken,

That which a missing heart may mend.

Take my heart away from me,

I may as well be dead.

A world without love is bleak and dark,

And there are times when I wish for an end.

Once Don had finished reciting the poem, he stared up at his brothers. Though Mikey had already read it, his skin had still turned into a sickly sea green colour. Raph's teeth and fists were gritted together, but not in anger. He looked thoroughly ashamed of himself. Donnie himself felt as if he was about to pass out.

"Oh God," he muttered. "Oh… God."

"Christ," Raph moaned. "We need to go ta 'im now. We need to stop 'im before he-"

"I don't think he'll kill himself," Don finally forced himself to say. "He's not like that. He thinks suicide is the coward's way out and he'd refuse to let himself die without honour. That doesn't mean there aren't issues though."

"What are we gonna do?" Mike asked. "He won't listen to us. Ya said it, dude, he doesn't like it when we talk to him about himself."

"What we're going to do is take this to Master Splinter."

"Ya kidding me!" Raph exclaimed. "It'll destroy him."

"No it won't. It will shock him yes, but it's the only damned way we'll be able to convince him to sort this mess out."

"What d'ya mean, Donnie?" the youngest questioned.

"I don't care what we have to do, but we're going to convince Master Splinter that Leo and Usagi need each other. We're going to get Usagi back here. If we don't then I really think that we'll lose our big brother."

No sooner had he spoken, a bright light shone through the gap underneath the door. There was then a smacking sound as something was flung across the room and hit a hard surface.

"What in the shell was that?" Mikey yelped.

And cue another cliffie.

Personally, the fact that 2k3 Leo has been unitentionally neglected kind of makes sense to me- it might explain his self-confidence issues. I reckon he feels he's only good for training and battle because he was never encouraged when doing anything else. And I do take issue that Splinter only ever said he was proud of Leo when he defeated Ve-Sama and didn't say anything of the sort when he came back from Japan- all he said was that he was glad he had his son back. The quesiton is, does he really know his son? I know some other writers have touched on this subject before, but it does make a lot of sense and can be very helpful in studying Leo's character. Furthermore, whilst I know the Ancient One helped him, I never really understood why Leo's own family didn't help him! This is only my opinion, and I'd love to hear what you guys think. I will be exploring it in further chapters as it's going to be fairly crucial to the storyline.

So please do leave some comments or constructive critcism. Again, flames will be used to defeat the Facehuggers because you either burn them or die.

MerlinStar x