AN: Sorry for taking so long to update. I get easily destracted by shiny things and new stories. My Q story took up all my time, but now I'm back here, so no more worries.

Chapter 07 – Ted Part 02

"Hello again, hero." Bella said, "You disappeared on me the other night."

They were standing on the upper level of the bronze, Xander leaning against the railing.

"I do a lot of that." He stated.

"Why?"

"I'd like to think that I'm dark and mysterious."

"Oh you definitely are." She purred, as she slinked closer to Xander. She put her hands on his chest and leaned up to kiss him, but he turned away.

"I can't do this with you, I'm sorry."

"Why ever not?" She asked.

"I'm too dangerous. I don't want to hurt you."

"I don't think you could." Bella whispered softly.

Xander grabbed the steel railing in his hands, and pulled lightly. The steel pipe broke in two, bending upward into a crooked 'U' shape, as if it was made of play-doh.

"If I wasn't careful, I could reach out to caress your face, and crush your skull without even meaning to."

"What are you?" She asked, sounding hopeful and slightly intrigued. Xander walked behind Bella, out of her line of sight.

"The thing monsters fear." Bella turned, and found Xander gone.

Xander arrived home to find Cordelia waiting for him.

She grinned sultrily at him. "Hello, dweeb." She approached him slowly, reaching out to press her hands against his broad chest, when she froze. "Who were you with tonight?"

"Buffy and Willow, you saw them."

"You have perfume and the scent of a female clinging to you, and it's not from one of them."

"Oh." He turned to walk away, but she grabbed his arm.

"Answer me."

"What does it matter to you?" He asked.

"You made me like this, so you and I are stuck together."

"Yes, but we're not... together."

"Aren't we?" She asked silkily, "Unless you think you can be with a soft squishy human, I'm your only option."

"I'm sorry, but I don't want to be picked by you, or anyone else, because I'm the only option. You don't want me, you are just choosing me, because I'm the only one you can be with without wanting to kill them."

As it turns out, all of Xanders high morality, couldn't stand up to the feeling of Cordelia's lips on his.

The next morning, Xander watched the sun rise, out the window, as he contemplated sleep, or the lack there of. He missed coming awake, slowly having the world come into view.

"I miss being able to sleep." Said the very naked Cordelia Chase, who was lying in the bed next to him.

Xander chuckled, "I was thinking the same thing." He sighed heavily, and got out of the bed, searching the floor for his clothing. "Do you feel like you could go to school without killing anyone?"

"Yeah. I'm willing to try it."

"Just remember, if you feel overwhelmed, stop breathing, then get out of the situation as quickly as you can. We share most classes, so I'll be there to help you if you need it."

"I should probably go home after school," Cordelia said, "I haven't been there in four days, and the housekeeper will be worried. It's a good thing my parents are out of town."

She stretched luxuriously, her naked body glistening in the morning sun, and Xander couldn't help but stare. She was beautiful before becoming a vampire, but the venom had corrected all the minute flaws, and perfected the human body, making her one of the sexiest women he had ever seen.

"My eyes are up here, dork."

"Really?" Xander asked, "After everything we spent most of the morning doing, and you're still going to call me names?"

"You'll always be a dork to me." She said, sweetly.

She finally exited the bed, and gathered her clothes. "By the way, you're totally taking me shopping after school."

"Why me?" Xander asked.

"Because that's what boyfriends do."

"Oh, I'm your boyfriend now, am I?"

"You think I'd do what I did last night with someone who wasn't my boyfriend, think again."

"Here." Xander opened the gilded box, and handed her the second amulet which she put around her neck, before putting on his own. They both immediately stopped shimmering in the sun, and their pale skin took on a healthy tan. "Now you won't stand out during the day."

"Thank you." She sounded almost heartfelt.

He nodded, before leading the way out of the apartment, and to the school. They went their separate ways, Cordelia to find her friends, and Xander to find Buffy and Willow.

The three were soon walking together. It didn't take long for weirdness to occur.

"Hi Ted," Xander said, rather surprised, "Ted, who is here for some reason."

"Hello, kids." Ted greeted.

"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked.

"I'm updating the software in the guidance office. Which reminds me," He pulled several disks from his pocket and handed them to Willow, "Your upgrades."

Willow grinned widely, "Oh, what a day! Thank you!"

"Think nothing of it. Buffy, do you like miniature golf?"

"Who doesn't?" Xander asked, calculatingly.

"Well, your mother and I were thinking maybe this Saturday we could drag the three of you out to the course, spend some time swinging the iron with the stuffy old people."

"Well uh..." Buffy began.

Ted spoke up, "I'm making a picnic basket."

"With mini-pizzas?" Willow asked.

"And cookies."

"You know what, we, we would love to, honestly, but, um, unfortunately we have that thing on Saturday." Buffy shot a look to Willow, begging her to agree.

"Oh," She agreed, "That thing." They both looked to Xander trying to get him to back them up.

"Hey, we can do that thing anytime. I'm tired of doing that thing." He looked at Ted, "We're on!"

After Ted left, Buffy asked, "Why did you do that? You know that he's not human."

"Who's not human?" Willow questioned.

"Ted's not human." Buffy answered.

"Ted's not human?" Willow wondered.

"We need to keep an eye on him." Xander said, "Besides, do you really want him alone with you mom?"

"You have a point there." Buffy commented.

That night, Xander invited Cordelia to join him on patrol. She was against it at first, until he pointed out that there was very little that could actually hurt her. Using her strength and speed, she started to enjoy staking vampires, after beating them up, and picking their pockets, of course. As it got later, She went home to make an appearance, while Xander went to the Bronze to sweep it for vampires.

"Hello, my hero."

Xander turned to see Bella Morgan standing behind him, approaching slowly, her lithe body moving like a cat, her hips swaying.

"Bella... what a surprise." Xander said deadpan.

"It's kinda become our place, hasn't it? Up here, in the dark."

"What are you doing here?" Xander asked.

"I wanted to warn you, you can't scare me off that easily."

"I don't want to scare you, but you needed to know the truth."

"I don't care what you are, I trust you." She came closer, leaning forward to kiss him, when he backed up a step.

"I need to go. Perhaps another night." And he was gone.

He wasn't home long, when Cordelia arrived. She pulled him to her, and they kissed deeply, before moving to the bedroom. Hours later they lie in bed naked together, holding each other, while talking about their day.

"My friends wanted to know where I got my work done. They think I had surgery to look this good."

"No," Xander said laughing, "Just the venom makeover."

The weekend arrived quickly, and Xander the vampire met up with Willow and Buffy, along with Ted and Buffy's mom, at the mini-gold course. A few holes in, and it's Xander's shot.

"Ah, the dreaded five-par cuckoo clock. Ha! So many have come, so few have conquered."

He set the ball on the green, and lined up his shot carefully, before taping the ball and watching it pass through the large clock.

"That picnic was delicious." Joyce spoke up. "You know how rare it is to find a man that cooks?"

"I know I've been looking a long time for one. So, Buffy, I bet the boys are lined up around the block tryin' to get a date with you."

"Oh, they are," Willow started, before being elbowed by Buffy, "but she's only interested in... uh, her studies! 'Book-cracker Buffy', it's kind of her nickname."

Ted smiled, "Well, glad to hear it. I bet that means your grades will be picking up soon."

"My grades?" Buffy questioned, before walking over to her mother, "How does he know about my grades?"

"I told him. He wants to know everything about you. He's concerned. That's a good thing." She watches as Ted makes his shot. "Oh, nice shot, Ted!"

After everyone took their shots, they moved on to the next hole, which had a large castle, and Buffy was up first.

"Keep your eye on the ball. Watch those elbows!" Ted called.

Being frustrated, she hit the ball too hard, which ricocheted off the castle, and ended up on the rough.

"Oh! Bad luck, little lady!" Ted cried.

"Oh, we won't count it." Joyce said.

"We Won't?" Ted asked.

Buffy, who was moving toward her ball to retrieve it for another shot, turned back to glare at Ted.

"Well, it's just miniature golf."

"It is, but the rules are the rules." Ted declared. "And what we teach her is what she takes out into the world when we're not there, whether it's at school or an unchaperoned party."

He looked to Buffy, before continuing, "I don't mean to overstep my bounds, this is between you and your mother, I just think right is right."

Xander moved over to Buffy's side, then whispered softly into her ear, "Be calm, Buff, remember why we're here. To keep her safe."

Buffy took a deep breath, and nodded. "Thank you."

Xander smiles softly at Buffy, before returning to the tee off point.

"He has a point." Joyce said, referencing what Ted said.

"Fine. I'll just go hit my ball from the rough." She moved to where he ball lay, behind the castle, and picked it up, before dropping it in the hole. "Hey, how 'bout that! Got a hole in two!"

Xander super-hearing heard Ted's angry voice, from where he stood. "Beg to differ."

"Okay, so fine my score or whatever." Buffy said, uncaring.

"I think you're missing the point here, little lady. Right is right, wrong is wrong. Why don't people see that?"

"It's just a game." Buffy pointed out.

"Right, it's just a game, do your own thing, well, I'm not wired that way. And I am here to tell you it is not a game! It does count, and I don't stand for that kind of malarkey in my house!"

"Excuse me for a moment," Xander said, walking human speed around the castle.

"Then I guess it's a good thing I'm not in your house." Buffy said to Ted, as Xander moved behind the computer salesman.

"Do you want me to slap that smart-ass mouth of yours?"

"I dare you to try." Xander interrupted. "You'll live just long enough to watch your own heart stop beating."

Ted turned to face Xander, and saw Willow and Joyce coming up behind him. His angry look was gone, and he was grinning. "Who's up for dessert? I made chocolate-chip cookies!"

"Cookies!" Willow cried. Buffy and Xander shared a look, before moving toward Joyce.

"Yeah! I-I made, uh, too many, so you guys are gonna have to take some home!"

Xander watched Buffy mystified face as everyone else happily munched on cookies.

"Mm! Buffy, you've got to try one of these!" Joyce said, "They're really good! Mm!"

Buffy just glared at her mom.

Monday at school, Xander and Buffy approached Willow, and asked her to check out Ted.

"What do you mean, check him out?"

"I mean investigate him. Find out his secrets, hack into his life."

"Buffy, it just seems like you want him to be corrupt, or something."

"The guy lost his senses over mini-golf. And then, he told mom Xander is a bad influence on me."

"What?" Xander asked.

"She told me this morning." Buffy informed them, "Must have been a reaction to you defending me."

"I don't like this guy." Xander said. They moved to a bench and sat down, when Cordelia Chase walked by.

"Hey, Cordy! Nice outfit." He said. She was after all, wearing one of the outfits he bought for her when they were at the mall together.

She stopped and turned to him, "Oh, very funny."

Xander was very confused by her reaction, "Not really."

"Well, why don't you just keep your mouth shut!" She cried, before storming off.

Xander turned to his friends, "Would you guys excuse me for a sec?"

He chased after Cordelia, moving a fast human speed. When he caught up with her, he grabbed her arm.

"What is wrong with you?" She asked.

"I gave you a compliment." Xander replied.

"In front of your friends. They're gonna know."

"Know what?" Xander demanded, "That I'm your boyfriend? Would that really be such a bad thing?"

"Do you know what that coming out would do to my social standing?"

"Maybe I don't care. And maybe you shouldn't either. Maybe you should decide what's more important. Me, or what your friends think."

And with that he left, going back over to Buffy and Willow. Cordelia opened her mouth to stop him, but no sound came out. Finally she turned and walked away, looking especially sad.

"Let's start small." Buffy was saying, as Xander returned, "Can you find out where he works?"

Willow nodded, and they got up together to head to classes.

That night, Xander was on Patrol, as Buffy was supposed to be at home, when he spotted her in the park, sitting on a swing, calling out in a soft voice.

"Vampires... Here, vampires..."

He approached her, and slid into the swing next to her. "Just me."

"Oh, Hi Xander. What are you doing out here?"

"I was patrolling, so you could have dinner with your mom."

"You're so sweet." She said softly.

"Hold on, are you telling me you left your mom alone with Ted. I thought we agreed that was a bad idea."

"It is. Would you come with me, to make sure she's safe?"

"Of course."

Together they headed to her house. Buffy climbed up the tree outside her bedroom, and through the window, while Xander waited outside. He could hear easily what was going on inside.

"What are you doing in here?" Buffy said to someone in her room. The tone in her voice got Xander worried.

"Your mother told you to go to your room, Buffy." Came Ted's voice from within Buffy's room. "You and I both know she didn't mean climb out a window and go gallivanting about town."

Xander quickly scaled the tree outside her room, and watched the confrontation as it escalated.

"First of all, this is my room, second..." She then noticed her belongings spread out on her dresser. "You've been going through my things?"

"Yes I have."

"That's my personal property! How dare you?!"

"I don't see how it's any different from you snooping around my office, do you?" He held up a book, which Xander suspected was probably a diary, "What exactly is a Vampire Slayer?"

"It's none of your business."

"Beg to differ, little lady. Everything you do is nothing but my business from now on."

"I think you better get out of here. Now!"

"Or what?" Ted asked, "You'll slay me? I'm real. I'm not some goblin you made up in your little diary. Psychiatrists have a word for something like this: delusional. So, from now on, you'll do what I say, when I say, or I show this," He held up the diary, "To your mother, and you'll spend your best dating years behind the wall of a mental institution. Your mother and I are going to be happy. You're not going to stand in the way. Sleep tight!"

"That's mine, and you are not leaving this room with it!" Buffy demanded, grabbing his arm.

"Take your hand off me." Ted ordered.

"No."

Ted swung fast, striking Buffy across the face, throwing her into the wall. She had just begun to stand, when a growling blur slammed into Ted, throwing him back into the wall.

"Are you okay?" Xander asked her.

"I'm fine." She replied.

Xander turned to face Ted. "You shouldn't have done that."

In a blur, Xander charged the older man, slamming him through the closed bedroom door, and into the far wall, cracking the plaster. Xander approached the man, who was pulling himself out of the depression in the wall. He pulled his arm back, and punched Xander, who's face didn't move, causing sparks to shoot out of Ted's broken hand.

"Oh..." Xander said, "He's a robot." Then he punched Ted, who landed near the top of the stairs. Xander growled softly, and lunged at the robot, the both of them rolling down the stairs, landing next to a shocked Joyce Summers.

Xander landed on top of the robot, then grabbed the his human looking head and pulled sharply. Joyce screamed, as Ted's head came off, trailing sparking wires the whole way.

"Um... Hi Misses S." Xander said, standing, still holding Ted's sparking head.

Joyce stared at the body. "He's... He's a... What is he?"

Xander smiled sheepishly. "I believe the correct word is android."

Joyce's eyes rolled back, and she fainted.

"Mom!" Buffy cried, as the woman fell. Buffy checked her over. "She's alright, just out cold."

"Alright, I'll get rid of this thing, while she's out." Xander said, picking up the robotic body, and hefting it over his shoulder. He exited the house, and ran too fast for humans to see, back to his apartment, depositing the body in the living room. He was soon back at Buffy's house.

"How is she?" Xander asked Buffy, who was folding up a moist cloth, and setting it on her mothers forehead.

"She's alright. Probably be awake any second." She was interrupted by Joyce groaning, as she regained consciousness.

"What... what happened?" Joyce asked.

"Um... You fainted." Buffy said.

"Yes!" Joyce cried, "I saw Xander pull the head off of Ted, and he was an-"

"Android." Xander finished for her. "He was a machine. I'm sorry you had to find out that way."

"But... But that's not possible."

"You'd be surprised what exists out there in the dark."

"Xander!"

He pulled Buffy intot eh kitchen, out of her mother's hearing range. "Maybe it's time you tell her the truth."

"You think I should?"

"I think it would make your life a bit easier if you don't have to lie so much."

She thought about it for a minute. "Maybe you're right."

They turned back to the living room. "Mom... I'm a Vampire Slayer."