happy saturday lovies! special thanks to my very humble beta kimme40. her plate's full with school and she still squeezes me in.

this chapter touches a little on bella's back story. my B's a strong girl, she's very minimal when it comes to outward insecurity. i think we can all use a break from whiny pity me bella, ya dig? this one goes out to all the reviewers. i never grasp the power of that button until i started writing, so thank you.

fer-realzz

Ch7

BPOV

"So, tomorrow?" I ask.

Edward and I are lounging on the couch while Layla, draws us. She's positioned us, sort of cuddled up next to each other. Edward with his back cornered against the arm and back of the couch, with one of his legs on the floor and the other across the cushions. I'm sitting against him, kind of the exact way he is against the couch. It seems like an intimate pose for a four year old to put us in. she may be little but it makes me wonder if she likes the idea of us together. Maybe I'm projecting. Regardless, I wasn't complaining.

It's not uncomfortable, but Edward's hand is making slow circles on my side. Something's gotta be wrong with me. Normal people do not get this turned on from being barely touched.

"I'm thinking after breakfast. If we finish packing the RV today, we'll be ready to go." Nothing he's just said was suggestive, but he said it leaning close; almost whispering in my ear. I shiver a little. I'm a friggin' poster child for sexual frustration.

I turn to look at Edward's face, which is pretty close to mine and find him smirking at me. Asshole knows exactly what he's doing. So I run my hand, that's been resting very innocently near his leg, from his knee to his upper thigh. Because of the way we're sitting, the leg in question is pinned next to the back of the couch, out of sight. I keep my eyes locked on his and my face impassive. When my hand is inches from the promised land, I stop and wrap my hand over his thigh lightly and keep it there.

I've never in my life been this forward or flirty with a guy. I raise a single eyebrow at him. His eyes get a little unfocused and his fingers rubbing my side stop and clench. I lick my bottom lip hoping it comes off as foxy as I feel right now. Edward's jaw clenches tight and I want to do the same with my thighs, I feel like I'm suddenly too close to an open flame.

Edward glances at his daughter quickly before slowly leaning into me. She's humming to herself and drawing like a champ. Man, I hope he kisses me. I'm going to combust if he doesn't, maybe even if he does. I can't take it so I meet him half way. We start soft, sweet. I melt and exhale. Our mouths end the first kiss and go for a deeper one, just as our lips meet Layla's giggles ground us both like an icy fire hose to the crotch. "Daddy, stop kissing Bella or I have to start a new picture."

I'm as red as I've ever been. We just got cock blocked by a four year old I forgot was even in the room. I think I need to get up. I feel a little whore-ish. I make a move to untangle from Edward but he won't let me go. I finally look at him and his face is a mixture of guilt, lust and uncertainty. I probably mirror him.

I try and smile at him. "I have to pee."

He reluctantly lets me free, his eyebrows scrunched up questioningly. I scramble to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I lean my back against the door and slowly slide to the floor. I feel overwhelmed. I'm mentally exhausted I think. Maybe a touch sexually frustrated. I just tried to mount the man in front of his kid for Christ sake. I scrub my hands over my face then, up through my hair, I pull a little to wake myself the fuck up. What the hell am I doing in here?

Maybe he really likes me. Maybe we can make whatever this is between us work. I can't help but think this could end really badly for me though, too. I sigh deeply and look around. The sun is going down, the light through the bathroom window's tired looking. I need to get up and go salvage the evening. I get off the floor and look in the mirror. I look ok I guess, tired though. It's as though in the last few weeks I've grown older than I am. I glance to my left at the shower. I glare at the shower head. It's a mocking bastard so I sneer at it. With a quick boob adjust I turn and leave the bathroom, but stop short to peek out the window.

The street is as quiet as it always is. I tilt my head to the side so I can look further down; I see a body in the road that wasn't there when we came here. It's hard to tell anything about it other than its not moving. I'm snapped out of my one way staring contest by a dog barking somewhere. I pull my face away from the window and frown.

Maybe while I was gone, Edward talked to Layla about us. Maybe I should talk to Edward, find out if there is an 'us'?

"I swear if I had known there would ever be a time I had to live without power, I would have stocked better." I'm frowning my way through a can of clam chowder. This was a bad idea. I chuck my spoon in the can and push it away. Layla giggles around a mouth full of Spaghetti-o's and Edward's grimacing through a bite of cold beef stew. Cold canned food blows.

"We should do something fun tonight, ladies." I nod my head at Edward though, I'm tired and I want to be lazy. We've been so busy packing we haven't really done anything fun with Layla.

"We could paint a wall in the living room, draw pictures and stuff." I throw the offer out there. Layla squeals and nods her head excitedly. I'm not sure we'll be back here for a while. We've been living in a bubble when it comes to information about the virus. For all we know there's a cure in the making somewhere.

Layla's so excited about painting an actual wall she may pop. Edward was a little weary of the idea but I broke out some kid safe paint I had. It seemed to work in my favor lately that I bought a lot of my own supplies. I don't like sharing with other teachers; bad form but I don't care.

After the wall is picked and furniture is moved out of the way, we let Layla loose. Edward and I dab out brushes here and there but mostly we let her go nuts. An hour later my living room now sports a unicorn and a rainbow. I have no complaints. Edward busies himself with cleaning up the paint buckets and brushes and I take Layla upstairs to change her shirt and wet wipe the paint from her skin.

"I think my daddy likes you Bella. Are you gonna be his girlfriend? I asked daddy and he said it was up to you." I've just pulled her new shirt on her so I pause to think of how I wanna answer that. I reach over and grab the pack of wipes and start cleaning paint from her hands.

"I like your daddy, Lovie. I think he likes me back. Would you be ok with me being his girlfriend?" I look into her face. Her smile is bright as hell.

"My daddy hasn't had a girlfriend in a long time. Does that mean you guys are gonna get married? Can I have a baby brother? Can you be my mommy now that mine went to heaven?"

"Uuhh… how about I just be his girlfriend for now, Lovie. We'll see where it goes." What in the actual fuck was I supposed to say to that? She nods her head in agreement.

"Lovie, did daddy tell you your mom went to heaven?" She looks up at me and nods her head.

"Daddy said she got sick like the scary people. I was really sad but daddy said that mommy will be happy there. She's gonna do the make up for the angels. Mommy likes make up." Her smile is a little wistful. Her acceptance of what's happened seems so easy. I wish things were simple like that for grown-ups too.

After I finished washing her hands off, I gather up all the trash to bring down stairs when her next words make my insides ache for her.

"Last time daddy had a girlfriend, she was really pretty but she wouldn't play with me. I don't think she liked me that much." Layla's frowning a bit with her confession. This poor girl can't catch a break when it comes to having a chick in her life.

"Lovie, some people just aren't all that good with kids, that doesn't mean you did anything wrong. And really, you're ridiculously awesome. You remind me of sunshine. You might be my best friend." I pause to give her what I hope is a warm, meaningful look. Layla looks down at her lap after a second.

"I love you, Bella." She looks up at me with a smile, her eyes have gone all 'Precious Moment' figurine on me, "And you're my best friend too."

I can't do it, my eyes fill with tears. I reach out and pull her to me in a tight hug. I rest my chin on the top of her head and sigh deeply. "We're gonna be okay, you know." She hugs me back a little tighter. God, I hope this virus doesn't make me a liar.

"You know what I miss?" Edward pauses as he swallows. "I miss bacon cheeseburgers. None of those fast food travesties either. I'm talking mom and pop style diner burger that weighs four pounds and most of that is grease."

I give an over exaggerated fan girl sigh, looking away wistfully, popping another cracker in my mouth. Edward chuckles and throws his balled up napkin at me.

"You know what I miss, daddy?" Layla asks with a smile like she knows where treasure is hidden. Edward and I look back and forth from her to each other, fighting smiles of our own.

"Hot dogs, Lovie?" his eyebrows raise, waiting for her to confirm he's right.

Her smile gets megawatt. "Yes!" she squeals. I can't help but laugh. This is some wholesome hallmark card kinda mush.

"I miss Chinese take-out I get from this little hole in the wall in Port Angeles. Ooh, and chili cheese fries." Both Edward and Layla nod at me in agreement. We're all quiet after that. Thinking about things we miss. The mood suddenly turns all emo and somber.

Edward breaks the silence first. "Let's clean up, and start getting ready for book and bed, yeah?"

We both nod at him and we get everything squared away in the kitchen before heading upstairs to change. I pause outside of my dad's room before opening the door and walking in. I want to grab a few things to take with me. For all I know, this could be the last time I come back here. I close the door most of the way and make my way to dad's dresser. I leaf through his organizer thing. I called it a jewelry box once and he acted like I questioned his sexual preference. "Bella, no self-respecting man over fifty has a jewelry box. It's my…. Organizer thing." Dad nodded his head as if to agree with himself.

I miss him so much. It's the sneaking memories that steal my breath and water my eyes. The hurt is so overwhelming it makes me miss pharmies. I take a deep breath and fight to get my shit straight. I turn and head for the closet.

As soon as the door swings open I'm assaulted by the scent of my daddy. All his shirts are hung up all organized and neat. His belts and the two ties he owned are hanging on the back of the door.

I drop to my knees and pull out the memory trunk he has stashed in the back corner. Once I get it out of the closet, I just sit in front of it for a minute. My dad was a closeted memory hoarder.

I slowly unlatch the trunk and swing back the lid. Since my father died, I've combed through this thing a few times. I could never bring myself to take anything before. It always seemed wrong. Right on top is a picture of me and him from last summer. I was thinner then but I'd been clean a little more than a year. I wonder if Edward wonders how old I am. He's never asked.

My dad was so proud of me; you could see it in his smile. He had his daughter back. His arm is wrapped around my shoulder and I'm leaning into his side. I always blew off my dad's invites to the police dept. family BBQ. I'm glad I went. He made me feel like the moon.

I hear the door creak behind me and jump a little while spinning around quickly. Edward was leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed. He's smiling softly at me, so I return it.

"Need any help in here?" I shake my head no at his offer.

"I just want to grab a few things to take with me, just in case we don't come back." Edward nods in understanding. I turn my attention back to the chest.

"Bella, why don't we just take the whole thing?" I take a moment before I answer.

"There are some things I'm okay with letting go of." My voice is barely above a whisper.

Near the bottom of the chest are the things my father kept from his time with my mother. I'm not a bitter person and I've never been one to hold a grudge. But I was awake during my parent's last fight; I was only 6.

I heard everything my mother said before leaving us. She blamed me. She said I stole the wind from her sails. If it wasn't for me they would have traveled the world and lived the life she really wanted. She wished I was never born. My father told her to go then. She did and never came back.

I picked out a few pictures and my baby book. I took my father's awards from work and my grandmother's jewelry box. After closing the trunk I pushed it back into my father's closet and gathered all the memories from my pile. Together Edward and I left my father's bedroom. With a silent goodbye I shut his door.