The room was filled with a heavy gloom, making it feel like a graveyard in the middle of Halloween. Hiei walked through the room. The darkness was solid and eerie, so thick you could close your eyes and you'd have better luck finding your way through it. Yet Hiei made his way through it as if it was lit up like time square on Christmas eve. Slowly he made his way to a table. He picked up a long lighter and lit two candles that eliminated a portrait of his late mother. He knelt down before it, looking as though he was about to pray. He started to speak softly as if she were sitting right in front of him. His voice was that of a lost vulnerable child, looking towards his mother for guidance. "What have I done? What did I get myself into? I can't house this girl, this child. i wish you were here right now, you'd know what to do." He sighed as his shoulders went limp with defeat, his arms falling to his sides. He grunted angrily, his hands turning into fists. "why damn it. Why did you do it? Why did you leave?" a low deep growl came from someway in the back of his throat as he swung his arm across the table. The candles along with the picture flew across the room, hitting the wall. The force of the wind blew out the candles and all that could be heard was the shattering of glass. Defeated, he rose to his feet and turned away, slowly exiting the room.
X-X-X-X-X
Back in his room destiny was staring at a wall. Her mind was obviously somewhere else, somewhere far away from Hiei's bed, away from his room and the house, away from the town, away from the world in general. She was lost in a world all her own where there was no pain, no heart ache, no anger or sadness of any kind.
Hiei walked into the room and stared at her for a few minutes. He looked over at the nightstand and realized that she hadn't even touched the food. Had she just been sitting there staring at the wall the entire time he was in his homemade shrine? How long had he been gone anyway? He walked up behind her. It was as if her body were just a shell, absent of a soul of any kind. There was no emotion, no thoughts in her mind, no glisten in her eye. The only thing that proved she was still attached to life on earth was a soft rhythmic heartbeat that could be heard deep within her chest. 'why? Why must you keep me here? What sins have I committed to deserve such a prison as this? Why must my soul be tormented while my heart is shattered into pieces that are too small to be put back together? Why am I still here?' the questions continued to pour through her mind like a river pouring over a waterfall. Hiei read her thoughts. He stood there, unable to speak as he felt himself being thrown into memories he thought were long ago suppressed and forgotten.
X-X-X-X-X
Hiei was the age of seven at the time. He was going through that phase where he believed he was tougher than he was. He never quite grew out of that mind set; it only became more and more true.
He was sitting on the sofa, watching TV as little kids do when his stepfather got home from work. He walked into the kitchen where Hiei's mother was preparing dinner. The words sounded suffocated and blurred together within his memory but he would never forget the sound made by the impact of that retched man's hand against his mother's face, quickly followed by her scream as she fell to the ground. In an instant hiei was in the doorway, staring at his mother, lying at that man's feel, holding her mouth as blood ran through her fingers. His eyes changed from concern to pure hatred and anger as he stared the man down. One might want to ask how a grown man could ever be afraid of a seven year old but unfortunately the only one who could answer that is resting in a wooden box, six feet below the earth.
Hiei's mind faded to black, but soon the color came back, as if the channel was being changed on the television. He found himself in another day dream, another nightmare, another reality he wished was fiction.
Hiei was now thirteen. He was growing into quite a man. His strength and speed had improved ten fold. His cunning and wit twenty fold. He was learning how to predict every move of his opponents' before even they knew what they were going to do, just by looking into there eyes. However no amount of knowledge and intelligence could ever prepare him for such a life changing, life shattering, moment.
Hiei's mother had gone out for groceries, as she did every other weekend. The news was on while Hiei practiced his fighting skills. He looked towards the clock. 8:39. she was late. She was never late. Had something happened? He shook his head and let the worries fade away. As in most teenagers, he had the mind set that he was invincible, nothing bad could ever happen to him or anyone close to him. As if he was grouping himself with those of a divine nature. He focused on his kicking, ignoring the pings in his gut, telling him to call his mother and find out where she was. The clock ticked by, it was now almost nine. Channel 11 news came on. A special broadcast, a shooting. Hiei ignored it; it couldn't be any of his concern. No one he was close to ever got hurt. "the shooting took place in a local grocery store. Sixteen dead, twenty wounded. Nothing was stolen, except the lives of those sixteen people." pictures flashed across the screen. One picture had caught Hiei's eye. He stopped what he was doing and turned the volume up. Two babies, three women with their children crying by their sides, a group of seven teens, only one survived with wounds that looked fatal, ten men, some moaning, some that had already passed on. The scene looked like a picture out of an old history text book. The vision was horrific, turning the strongest of stomachs into knots. And there it was, a picture of his mother lying across the floor, her body riddled with bullets. She laid there in a pool of her own blood, her shopping cart turned over, groceries strewed about around her. He didn't even notice any of the others that were shot. It was as if she were the only one in the entire store. As if she had been singled out, they were only there to kill her, to hurt her. The rage built up inside his chest. He could feel it burning a hole inside of him. How dare them. how dare they take his mother from him? How dare they leave him to fend for himself at that young age? How could they kill her? she still had so much left she wanted to do in the world, so many unfinished plans, so many promises now broken, and so many missed memories? As he sat, staring into the television screen, feeling the rage take hold of his body and mind, he knew he'd never be the same again.
X-X-X-X-X
He was yanked from the memories, dragged back to reality by a tightening leash around his neck. He choked for a second and looked around, realizing what had happened. He looked at destiny. She was still staring at the wall. What was he supposed to do with her? How was he supposed to take care of her, when he couldn't even save his own mother?