Chapter 7

Derek stood in the corridor outside Meredith's room looking through her window as she lay with her back to the window. I'm an idiot, he concluded.

Cristina walked by the nurse station and noticed Derek standing outside Meredith's room. Sulking. She walked over to Derek and noticed that Meredith had her back turned to the window and her movements looked as though she was crying. She stood with her hands on her hips.

"What did you do?" Cristina looked at Derek and if looks could kill. This one would ensure he would die a slow painful death.

"I…" Derek opened his mouth and no words came out.

"You… what? You look like a freaking goldfish. What did you do to her?"

Derek stood silently not really knowing what to say or do. All he knew was that she was upset and he screwed up.

Cristina whacked Derek hard. He didn't flinch and just looked at Cristina, guilt and pain etched all across his face.

"That bad… "Cristina winced inwardly. McDreamy screwed up again…

"Look I'm not going in that room until I find out what you did wrong so I can tell you how to freaking fix it." Cristina said sternly.

"She said Addison was a good person. I said yeah apart from the adultery… And she said that if I couldn't see how lucky I was then maybe I wasn't who she thought I was. And then… I said that she bought it up. Then she kicked me out."

Derek rubbed his face tiredly and sighed wondering how to make it up to her.

"You are a bigger idiot that I thought you were." Cristina couldn't believe he had said that.

"You know she's in no condition for a fight yet you just had to start one." Cristina whacked his arm again.

"Tell me how to fix it." Derek pleaded.

"Look. She's insecure. It's been 5 years Derek. 5 years since you're ex-wife, that's ex-wife cheated on you. You're beautiful, freaking Isabelle Rossellini ex-wife. It's been 3 years since you got divorced and 2 years since you and Meredith, that's Meredith- the "love of your life" got married. Now you are expecting a child. You should have moved on Derek. Can't you see how lucky you are? Can't you see that if Addison hadn't cheated on you, you would be living in a loveless marriage and you would never have met Meredith?"

Derek felt limp and lifeless. He stood shell-shocked trying to take in what Cristina was saying.

"Derek, she doesn't need this. She's pregnant and just had complications with her pregnancy. You go fix this. Make her insecurities go away." Cristina harshly whispered to him.

"How Cristina?"

"For a brain surgeon, you aren't that bright." Cristina said as she walked away from him mumbling something about how stupid he was.

Derek sighed again and rubbed his tired face his hands. He knew Cristina was right. He didn't know what overcame him and why it seemed like he just wanted to pick a fight with Meredith.

Derek took a deep breath and walked into the unknown, a.k.a Meredith's room.

"Mer…" Derek whispered hoping she could hear his guilt.

Meredith remained silent, still with her back towards him.

He took a step towards her bed and reached out to touch her but he thought better and retracted his hand away quickly.

"I'm sorry…" he said.

"I'm sorry Meredith. I don't know why I said that. I'm a stupid ass. Can you please forgive me?"

"It's not as easy as that Derek. I give you everything I have. I gave you my heart and I am having your baby. But I'm not enough for you." Meredith whispered back still facing Derek. A small tear trickled down her face and she held her stomach gently.

"Mer, you are. You're my everything. I love you… Please Mer…" Derek pleaded.

A/N: So I haven't updated much... SORRY! Brain has been turned to mush because of holidays plus boy problems plus New Years yeah...

But here's an update, sorry it's short but people on http://greysbackup.3. wanted an update so I posted what I had written which was semi-finished.

IluvMerDer- I love you! hehe. Thanks for reviewing!

Happy Reading