Chapter 7:

God must hate me

I had barely gotten some clothes on when I heard a light rapping at my door. My first instinct was to leap into bed and pull the covers up over my head. I'd done the whole "fake sleep" routine so many times that it was practically second nature to me. But my parents knew something weird was up. My dad was part of the Tribal Council. He believed all the stories our tribe told…because they were true. I'm sure mom knew, too. So why should I lie to them?

"It's open."

Seth surprised me when he popped his head in. I saw relief on his face when he realized that I was wearing clothes. I thought about flashing him just to make him cringe.

"Mom and dad want to talk to us."

"Right now?" I was surprised. Seth and I had barely just gotten through the door. I glanced out the window and saw that the night sky was breaking with daylight.

"They're waiting for us in the kitchen."

I followed my brother down the hall and into the kitchen. Mom and dad were both sitting at the kitchen table staring at us. I tried to read the emotions on their faces, but there were so many feelings conflicting in their eyes that I couldn't tell exactly what they felt. I could see mom trying to calm herself through her breathing.

Dad spoke first. "You two were out with Sam all night?"

"Not willingly," I muttered. Seth nodded at dad's statement.

Dad glanced at the ground, "Hmm. So, it's true then?"

"If you're referring to the fact that mom had an affair with Benji, then yes. We are part dog." I was still in a foul mood from that last conversation I'd had with Sam.

"Leah Clearwater, you better shut that smart mouth of yours this instant," Mom snapped at me. Of course she would be the "bad cop" in this scenario. Mom was always the one who scared Seth and me into doing our chores. My dad was just so easy-going and easy to manipulate.

Instant guilt came over me. "Sorry." I hated that mom had that affect on me.

Dad took a deep breath and let out a sigh, "I did not want this for you."

What a coincidence. Neither did I. And I couldn't speak for Seth, but I don't think transforming into a giant wolf was on his "to do" list, either.

"I understand that things happen for a reason. Our paths are set before we are even born…"

I snorted, "Yeah, well, I guess when I was mapping out my life I should have said 'hold the morphing dog bit.'" Yes, I'd like an order of heartbreak in a light screw me over sauce. Oh, but hold the werewolf… I shook my head. "I must have done something to seriously piss someone off in another life."

"This is not because you have done anything wrong." My dad's face was firm and rigid now. He looked at me and Seth. "Though I still can't quite understand how this happened."

"It's not so bad." Seth tried to ease our parents' concerns. I let him do his thing. Sometimes he had a way of putting mom and dad completely at ease. The kid had a face of an angel. Which was fitting considering his sister was the devil. He played the "sweet kid" routine, but that wasn't going to work on mom and dad this morning.

"It's no use trying to bullshit your old man." Dad frowned at my brother. "Your mother and I know what this entails. The sacrifices, the commitment, the danger…"

"Sounds like my last relationship." I tried to lighten the mood. It didn't help.

"We know that we can't ask you not to do this," Mom said sadly.

Yes you can! Forbid us from turning us into wolves! Ground us! Lock us in crates! I wanted to beg.

Mom continued, "You two have responsibilities now…"

Responsible? Me? Are you listening to yourself? I'm the LEAST responsible person in this town!

"And it's important that you do your duties…"

I looked over at Seth. With his puny little teenage mind I know that he was silently giggling to himself, Hee hee. She said "duty."

"So all your father and I ask of you is that you be very careful. And take care of each other." Mom finished her little speech.

Seth was eager to please our parents. "Okay. We can do that."

They looked at me for confirmation. I just told them what they wanted to hear.

"Sure. Whatever." Of course I'd keep an eye on Seth. But I couldn't promise that I wouldn't stay out of danger. It seems that everywhere that I went, trouble wasn't far behind.

The kitchen was silent. I waited for some other long speech, but that seemed to be all they had this morning. They were done, and invited us to go about our lives as normally as we could. I shrugged. I was already up. Might as well eat. I made myself a bowl of cereal and started to eat. Mom disappeared to do some laundry.

Seth yawned, "I think I'm going to crash for a little while." He said something about sleeping the rest of spring break, and then shut his bedroom door.

Dad thumbed mindlessly through the paper as I inhaled my cereal. I could tell he wanted to say something, but he was holding back. He finally cleared his throat and glanced at me.

"Sam treating you okay?"

He'd caught me completely off guard. "Uh, I guess?"

"Good. Cuz if he hurts you again I'll deal with him myself, werewolf or not…"

Was my father really willing to face off against a werewolf for me? That was really sweet.

"You just let me know if he isn't behaving himself."

"Thanks, dad. I will." I smiled at my father.

His eyes were sad again. "I really am sorry that you have to go through this."

Not as sorry as I am. I wasn't going to lie to him. He'd always been truthful when he was raising me. The least I could do was return the favor. "Yeah. It sucks." I shrugged. "But, whatever. I'll deal."

He smiled at me. "You always do. You're a pretty good kid, Leah."

"Yeah, when I'm not off selling my body on the street corner." I winked at my dad. He chuckled softly. I really loved that my dad understood me. No one else in my family seemed to get my sense of humor.

The kitchen became silent again. After I polished off my cereal, I sat at the table for a minute to take in the silence. I guess I was going to have to learn to appreciate the quiet moments since I was going to be sharing thoughts with six other people now. Seven when Quil joined…which Sam thought was going to be fairly soon. Great. Another little whiny sissy who wanted to talk about his feelings.

I was drawn back into reality when I heard my dad hacking up a cough. It was amazing how much my hearing had intensified. I could hear mom fluttering around the house humming to herself as she cleaned God-knows what. Seth was snoring loudly in his room. I grumbled silently. That was going to get annoying at night. I was going to have to invest in some earplugs…or shove a sock in his mouth to muffle his snores.

My ears were so sensitive that I could hear my dad's heart thumping in his chest as he leaned forward to grab another section of the paper. I cocked my head curiously. Something didn't seem right about his pulse. I looked at him and saw that he was sweating. He looked clammy and pale.

"Hey, dad, you feeling okay?" I questioned.

"Other than a bit of indigestion..." I saw him wince in discomfort.

Though his voice was calm, my new little sixth sense was telling me that something was off.

I frowned to let him know that I wasn't buying it. "Your heart rate is three times what it should be…" He furrowed his brow in confusion, probably wondering how I knew that. I pointed to my ears. "Werewolf. Remember?" Though most of the situation sucked, having heightened senses was kind of cool. It was like being drunk. But without all of that damn hangover crap. It was a nice buzz.

My dad nodded. I really didn't like the way he was looking right now.

I stood up. "I'm going to get mom."

Dad shook his head. "Your mom has enough to worry about." His breathing had increased. "This is nothing. It will pass."

"Don't be an idiot, dad. Something is wrong." He was my father, and he was ordering me around as such. But I'd never really obeyed my dad before. And I sure as hell wasn't going to start now.

He followed me in to the living room.

"Leah, I'm…" He stopped mid-sentence. I turned around to see why. He was leaning forward on the arm of the couch trying to catch his breath.

I rushed over to help him keep his balance. "Dad?" I felt the panic building in my stomach.

"Just give me a minute to…" He grunted in pain and I saw him tighten his grip on the couch.

"Mom!" My voice sounded so panicked that I didn't even recognize it. "Mom!" I didn't know what else to yell. "Dad's having a heart attack" might be a little too tactless.

I helped my dad sit down on the couch. Mom came tearing into the living room with Seth behind her. I guess my frantic girly screaming had roused Seth from his nap. He hadn't even taken any time to put on a pair of pants. Where had he found glow in the dark Spiderman underwear for someone his age?

My focus shifted to my mother.

"Leah, what's…" She saw my dad gasping for air on the couch. "Oh, God. Harry, what's wrong?"

My dad looked up at her through his pain and said the most sensible thing he'd said all morning, "I think we should call someone…"

Very calmly, my mom leaped into action. She called 911.

Waiting for the ambulance seemed like an eternity. Seth paced around the living room while mom made a few phone calls. The very first was to Billy Black. Billy was my dad's best friend. I don't know what good my mom thought a guy in a wheelchair would do. I could see Billy wheeling in at high speeds, "Hey, guys. I'm here to save the day…oh, can someone please help me over the threshold? The wheel is sticking again…"

Dad's condition continued to decline. I could tell mom was panicking, but she was trying not to let her fear show, so as not to freak Seth and me out. It amazed me that she was able to think of her children and react so calmly.

When mom sat down next to him and took his hand, I started to get restless. Where the hell was the ambulance? Had they stopped for burgers or something? My hands started to shake. And as much as I hated to leave my father's side, I knew that I didn't have control of this "werewolf" thing yet. I'd hate for him to survive a heart attack only to be accidentally mauled by his own daughter.

Seth's hands were shaking, too.

"I'm freaking out," he whispered. "I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do, Lee."

I laughed sarcastically. "I've been waiting my whole life for you to say that to me. And now I don't know what to tell you."

"Tell me he's going to be okay."

He wanted me to lie to him? There was no denying that my dad was in rough shape. I glanced over at him. I could see how much pain he was in. And it pissed me off. My entire life I'd been this over-protective violent person. I'd always settled my problems by beating them to death. I growled. If this pain that was hurting my dad had an ass I would rip it to pieces.

Dad looked back over at us weakly. He saw how frightened we were.

"I'm going to be okay, guys."

For some reason, I didn't believe him.

He was unconscious by the time the ambulance finally got there. When the paramedics asked what was wrong, I wanted to smack them.

The man is dying you dumbasses. What...do you think we called you out here just for funsies? I had to call upon every ounce of self-control that I had to keep from exploding into a wolf in our living room.

As they loaded him into the ambulance my mom started to look around helplessly.

"Does someone want to ride with him?" one of the paramedics asked. Basically, I think he was telling us that dad's outcome did not look good, and if he crashed it might be good to have someone with him.

I took a breath to keep myself calm. "Go ahead. Seth and I will follow you in the car."

Mom didn't know what else to say so she nodded and followed the paramedics into the ambulance.

"Hey, put some clothes on," I advised my brother. He had been so distracted that he was still running around in his underwear. "Unless you want everyone in town to know that you're secretly five-years-old."

Seth was lacking with the smartass remarks as he disappeared down the hallway. I paced around the kitchen looking for the keys to mom's car. She and Dad usually left the keys in the exact same spot. But they weren't there. Oh, what a brilliant daughter I was. How the hell were Seth and I supposed to get to the hospital now? I was kicking myself for being such an idiot.

Stupid, STUPID me! How could I not ask where mom put the keys?

I felt all of my emotions working their way to the surface. My hands were vibrating violently. I slammed my fist down on the counter in frustration as the tears burned my eyes.

I glanced down and saw that in my moment of anger I had managed to knock a chunk out of my mother's counter. She was going to kill me. I was going to have to get a handle on my anger in the future or I might accidentally knock the entire house down just because I was PMSing or something…if my body still even worked that way. Now I was angry about the fact that dad was having a heart attack and because I was werewolf. My life really did suck.

I just couldn't seem to calm myself down. My head felt like it was on fire. The kitchen was starting to spin.

"Shit…" I realized what was going on. I dashed out the back door just in time to hear the rip from within my body.

There goes that outfit… I snapped to myself.

Leah? Great. Sam's presence was only going to irritate me further.

Jacob was running, too. He let out a laugh.

We were taking bets on how long it was going to be before you lost your temper and phased, Jake said. I win.

My thoughts were so jumbled that I couldn't formulate a response.

Jared piped in, It's a good thing, though. We could use help tracking the redheaded leech.

I'm not helping with anything, I snarled. I had more important things to worry about.

Leah, what's wrong? Sam questioned.

Leave me alone, Sam, I snapped. I said that a lot. And he never listened.

Even though I didn't say anything, Sam saw everything in my thoughts. Everyone was silent.

I'm on my way. I saw that Sam was running to tell Emily what was going on. What the hell was Emily going to do to help the situation? Boil some water? Bake a cake? I just shook my head. I didn't have the time...or the patience to argue with him.

Jacob changed his path as well. I'll let my dad know…

He was the first person my mom called. I let Jacob know that his dad was probably already on his way to the hospital. I wasn't sure how he'd get there.

I'm sure he called Charlie. They're probably riding up together. Jacob was certain.

Jacob. Jared. It's important that we don't let the vampire breech security. Keep her at bay, and I'll be back as soon as I can. Sam was almost home.

I was getting a headache from all this information. It was completely overloading my brain.

Leah, you should probably phase back and get to the hospital, Jared said softly.

Duh! Did he think I was an idiot? I'd phase back if I could. I just had to focus. I needed to calm myself down and I could…

…stand in the middle of my backyard butt-naked. Clearly, my body was giving me what I wanted. I'd phased back mid-thought.

I dashed inside the house. I was able to grab a towel from the laundry room before Seth walked in on me.

He stared at me for a second, and then held out the car keys.

"Where the hell did you find them?" I questioned.

"On the counter next to the door."

I had looked there and hadn't seen them. How had I missed that? Oh, right, because I was a blind moron.

Seth continued to stare at me. "You might want to put some clothes on..." He finally had a comeback for earlier, "...unless you want everyone in town to know that you're secretly a stripper."

Thank God for my brother making me laugh. For a split second I forgot that my dad was being rushed into the hospital.

As soon as I threw another outfit on I jumped behind the driver's seat of my mom's car. Seth and I didn't really talk on the way to the hospital. I was guessing it was that "shock" thing I'd always heard about. Normally, I was the one causing the shock, so to be on the other end of it was a bit eerie.

We got there fairly quickly. The little car reached speeds that I didn't even know were possible. I looked down at one point and thought the speedometer was broken. Pulling into the parking lot I almost ran over some cranky old woman with a cane. I heard her shouting at me and looked back and saw her waving her cane in the air. But I didn't care. When I turned the car's engine off I felt Seth's hand gently touch my arm. I glanced over at him.

"Leah, I'm scared," he admitted. Even though he was going to be fifteen in a few weeks, Seth looked like a terrified five-year-old right now. I wanted nothing more than to embrace him in a hug and tell him that everything was going to be okay. But I had no clue what we were going to find walking through those hospital doors. I glanced at the entrance and then back to Seth.

I let out a sigh, "Me, too." I had never been afraid of anything. My mom used to tease me, telling me that I should have come out of her with a parachute because I just flew out. The doctor had to catch me mid-air. She told me that when I'd starting wailing that my cry wasn't "waaahhh!" it was "wheee!" She described how I'd punched the doctor because my arms were flailing around so much. I think I was just hitting back after the doctor slapped me on my little infant ass. "You want a piece of me, Doc? Bring it on!"

I had never been afraid of anything. When I was two I got chased by a huge stray dog. I turned around and kicked him in the head. He never came after me again. When I was five a bunch of older boys tried to scare me with a snake they'd found. I took it home and begged my mom to let me keep it as a pet. At twelve, when I went trick-or-treating with some friends for Halloween some jackass thought it would be funny to scare us by chasing us around with a chainsaw. I found a baseball bat and ran towards him screaming like a maniac.

Fear had never been a factor in my life. I didn't think there was anything on this planet that could scare me. But today, for the first time in my life...I was shaken down to my core.