Chapter 7
::Hotohori::
"Hotohori, I've told all the others and now I have to tell you," Nuriko says. His eyes are red, I can see he's been crying. My Nuriko-chan's face never lies. He's so beautiful that even his tears can't ruin his beauty. I take his hand and lead him to his favourite reclining chair. He leans as far back as he can go, sitting on my lap, and the chair practically flips over.
"What is it, Nuri?" I ask.
"I'm going to have a sex-change operation," he says. I stop.
"What?!" I ask. "Why?!"
"I have to do this, Hori-chan," he says, his voice shaky.
"Nuriko..." I say, shocked, "I don't know what to say..." I trail off. He looks at me. He says nothing, just looks at my shocked face. "Nuriko, please, you must consider." I say.
"I have made up my mind," he says.
"Nuriko, why? Is it because of Kourin? She's alive and well!" I say. He rolls his eyes.
"I know, I saw her this morning," he replies, in an attempt at humour.
"It's Houki then!" I accuse. "Please, you know she didn't compare to you! You don't have to replace her! I love you. You know that. The ring on your finger should tell you."
"It's not Houki either!" Nuriko says.
"We don't have to be like a straight couple to get married! We've been engaged for so long but we will marry some day! You know it!" I whisper. He kisses my cheek.
"It's not even that," he replies. Tears are dancing down his cheeks, glimmering in the light.
"What is it then?" I ask, angrily. "I don't understand!"
"It's for myself! For me!" Nuriko says. Suddenly he's angry. "Why can't you understand?! Everyone else did! It's for me! I don't care what anyone else thinks! This is my body! Suzaku screwed up big time! I should have been a girl! I should have been! I'm just suffering what I was all over again! Now I have a chance to be free! To show the world my real self, not a boy, a girl! A girl! A girl!" He stands up. So do I.
"Nuri..." I whisper, hugging him. "Don't do it... it'll ruin everything." I feel ashamed at what I am about to say. "I'm gay. I can't..." I trail off.
"I have to do it. You know that."
He runs out the door and slams it shut after him, sobbing loudly. I can hear him running down the corridor, crying, but can't make myself move. I just watch him go. Then the tears come and I cannot fight them. I just curl up on the floor and cry. Cry for Nuriko, who should have been a girl. Cry for the pain he's going to endure. Cry for myself because I might have just lost him forever.