CHAPTER NOTES:

TW: depiction and discussion of combat PTSD in section 3.

Friday, August 17th, 2187 (noon) — 01:56 Daleri local time

"Another bust," Kaidan said as they emerged from yet another nightclub.

"Did I hear 'last call' before we left?" Liara asked.

"Correct," EDI said. "Most of the nightclubs in Daleri close at 02:00."

"That's unfortunate," Kaidan said. "Are there any that stay open later?"

"No," EDI said. "I suggest we spend the next hour watching over the patrons as they head home."

Kaidan's stomach grumbled. "Hmm, maybe later. Is there anywhere open to eat?"

"Yes. Not far from here is a 35-hour diner, which is popular among nightclub-goers."

"How popular?"

"By 02:30, wait times to be seated will be over 1 hour."

"Yeah, let's head there now. If we're lucky, we'll beat the rush."

As they turned to follow EDI to the diner, a figure stepped out of the shadows of the alleyway. She was asari, dressed in red from neck to toe, and had the casual grace of a dangerous predator.

"Justicar Samara!" Kaidan exclaimed.

"Major Kaidan Alenko, it is good to see you again," Samara said. "Is Shepard here?"

"I'm afraid not, he had other business back at the Citadel."

"A pity. I would have liked to work beside him again. What brings you to Niacal?"

"We're investigating rumors of Reaper activity. A trading vessel captain spotted a suspicious Reaper in orbit a few days ago, roughly above Daleri."

"That is concerning."

"What about you?"

"I am hunting an Ardat-Yakshi."

"Yeah, we heard rumors that one was active in the area."

Samara looked appraisingly at Kaidan. "Curious. Where did you hear these rumors?"

"We've been asking around the homeless community, over on the east end of downtown."

"Excellent thinking," she said approvingly. "The forgotten have eyes in places where no one else would bother to look."

"Since the Ardat-Yakshi were so heavily conscripted by the Reapers, we're also keeping an eye out for this one. Unfortunately, none of us have any experience tracking Ardat-Yakshi, so that leg of our investigation hasn't been very fruitful."

"I am not surprised. Tracking an experienced Ardat-Yakshi requires weeks of inconspicuous surveillance. If she suspected you were looking for her, she would certainly have fled already."

"We're that bad at this, eh?"

"You are young," Samara said simply. "I have been hunting Ardat-Yakshi for centuries. Aside from my daughter, I have hunted six."

"Have you ever seen them prey on the homeless?" Kaidan asked.

"None before this one. It is also unusual for an Ardat-Yakshi to operate in a city of this size. Under normal circumstances, they prefer the anonymity of a large metropolis, or else they slowly enthrall small villages of no more than 1,000. I am still trying to piece together what binds this particular Ardat-Yakshi to the area."

"Well, we're running on Citadel time, so we're heading to a diner for lunch. Care to join us?"

"Some other time," Samara said. "I have already risked 'blowing my cover' by talking to you. If I were to appear in a diner, the risk would become a certainty."

"Is your outfit some sort of justicar uniform?" Kaidan asked.

"The design is personal, but the color scheme – red, with gold trim – informs all who see me that I am a servant of the Justicar Code."

"Wouldn't it be easier to do your job if you wore something less conspicuous?"

"The Code obligates me to wear the colors whenever I might be seen by others. It is both a promise to those who seek protection under the Code, and a warning to those who would otherwise commit injustice in my presence and thereby earn death under the Code."

"But the Code allows you to hide in the shadows?"

"Yes."

Kaidan scratched his head and flashed a confused smile. "That's, uh, some Code you follow."

Samara smiled. "As I once explained to Shepard, I don't pretend it is a simple matter, or that it seems right to everyone, but I sleep well at night."

"Well, don't let us keep you."

"We should exchange contact information. When you return to your ship, I wish to join you, if you would have me. I would very much enjoy the chance to catch up."

"I'd like that," Kaidan said. He activated the holo interface on his omnitool and set it to exchange contact information. Samara followed suit, and they touched their omnitools together.

"Then for now, let us part ways," Samara said, and she slipped into the alleyway from which she'd come.

Kaidan stepped up to the alleyway to watch her go, but it was too dark to see her, and she was moving too silently to track her by sound.

"Food?" Liara asked.

Kaidan looked away from the alleyway. "Food," he replied.

Friday, August 17th, 2187 (afternoon) — 04:41 Daleri local time

"My omnitool just finished analysis of Vin Hartne's sensor data," Tali said. "If we can just find one more witness, we'll be able to triangulate the flight path origin of that Harvester."

"What can you squeeze out of the data without an extra witness?" Garrus asked.

"Well, Hartne wasn't using active LADAR, so the distance reading is iffy at best," she said, tapping some controls on her omnitool's holo interface. "Hmm… I can narrow it down to a cone of uncertainty covering 30 square kilometers. Most of it's jungle."

"That's a lot of ground, but it's better than what we had before."

"True."

They walked in silence for a few minutes. The city was eerily still.

"Well, we have about an hour and fifteen to kill," Garrus said. "Any thoughts on how to spend it?"

"I don't know," Tali said. She paused and cocked her head at him. "I think I remember passing by a park with some benches about half a kilometer back. Want to go sit down and cuddle?"

"I was hoping you would say that," he said, taking her hand.

Friday, August 17th, 2187 (afternoon) — 04:56 Daleri local time

"You know what, you're all right," James said as he and Javik walked down the empty street. The bars had closed three hours ago, but the two were still a bit tipsy.

Javik frowned thoughtfully. "Why the nicknames, human?"

James shook his head dramatically. "Nah, nah, you first. Why is everyone 'the so-and-so human'?"

Javik shrugged. "It was the way of my people."

"Pssh. Your people were assholes. Like, seriously, grade-A pendejos."

"Yes."

"So, that's it? Tradition?"

"That is it."

"Not because you like pissing people off?"

Javik chuckled. "Maybe that as well. Your turn."

"My turn?… Oh yeah, the nicknames. Honestly… I just have a really hard time remembering people's names."

"What's mine?"

"Uh… J… J… Javik?"

"See? You remembered my name."

"Took me a minute, though. Know how awkward it is to stand there for ten seconds trying to get someone's name right, and still mess it up? That was middle school for me. So, nicknames. I remember those."

"I propose a deal," Javik said. "You call me by my name, and I call you by yours."

"Normal people don't have to cut a deal to get that."

Javik chuckled to himself. "I don't know if you noticed, human, but we are not normal people."

"Hah. Fair enough… Javik," James said, offering a handshake.

"Then it's a deal… James," Javik said. He unthinkingly accepted the handshake.

The sensory overload was immediate.

Treeya: "There's no time, Vega. You'll have to make a choice."
Jalane: "Don't you see, Javik? It's our only hope. We have to surrender to the Reapers."
Captain Toni: "Vega! Come in Vega! Do you read?"
Jalane: "You're putting your pride before the continuation of the Prothean people."
Christine: "Hush… It's okay, baby, it's okay. Just close your eyes, honey… we're going home."
April: "James said he'd come back. He said he'd save us, Mommy. He promised!"
Javik: "Jalane was the youngest of us. The brightest star in our sky. And I killed him."
Mahim: "The Reapers killed him. You just put his body to rest."
The Praetorian screeches. Beneath its carapace, it's wearing Kamille's face.
Mason: "Kamille? That you? Kammy?"
James: "Wait! Mason!"
A flash of light. The smell of burnt flesh.
Bojan: "Infected! You're all infected! DON'T TOUCH ME!"
Mahim: "Bojan, stop and listen to yourself…"
Bojan: "I see you for what you really are. I see everything! Get away from me!"
Bojan reaches for his weapon, but he isn't fast enough. Javik kills him first.
Captain Toni: "We're taking fire here, Vega! We need to evacuate, now!"
Treeya: "I know you'll make the best choice."
Civilian: "They're not comin' for us... are they?"
Captain Toni: "God have mercy…"
Mahim: "You failed us, Javik. You were our leader. It was your job to keep us strong."
Javik: "Shut up."
Javik peers out from cover and fires. A miss.
Mahim: "If I had killed you sooner, maybe Jalane and Bojan wouldn't have been indoctrinated."
Javik: "YOU'RE indoctrinated! Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!"
Javik fires again, and hits Mahim square in the face.
The Collector ship crumbles during re-entry and explodes as it impacts Fehl Prime.
Milque: "What did you do, man?"
Weeks later on Fehl Prime, a stuffed teddy bear. April's stuffed teddy bear.
Treeya: "How could we let this…?"

"Fuck!" James shouted as he fell backward out of the handshake, landing on his ass with a thump. Javik dove for cover behind a nearby trash bin and pulled out his gun, eyes wild. At the sound of Javik's gun being unholstered, a bolt of adrenaline shot through James and he found himself sobered. He launched himself into a roll for the nearest alleyway, pulling out his own gun and readying for the ambush.

After a few moments of tense silence, James whispered. "Javik, did you see something?"

No response.

James peered out from the alleyway. The only people on this street were him and Javik.

He called out a little louder. "Javik? You okay, man?"

"James?" Javik asked, sounding for all the world like a man who'd just been saved from drowning.

James put away his gun. "Yeah, it's me. It's James. You okay?"

Javik looked around and shook his head. He re-holstered his own gun and forced himself to his feet. He let out a shaky breath, his hands jittering. "I am fine," he baldly lied.

James shook his head as he walked up to Javik. "Like hell you're fine. What just happened?"

"I was… caught off-guard by the memories," Javik said. "That is all," he added, staring fiercely into James's eyes, daring him to disagree.

James nodded. "Yeah, that was something. That was your squad you had to put down?"

"Yes," Javik said, and he turned his back to James and looked up at the stars. "There were more to come, but those were the first. Their deaths… marked me."

"Of course they did," James said. "Putting down your own teammates… that would shake up anyone."

"I suppose," Javik said, in a tone that suggested he didn't believe it.

"You wanna talk about it?" James asked.

Javik looked down at the ground sullenly. "No," he said.

"I won't make you, but — speaking soldier to soldier — I think you should."

Javik said nothing.

"Look, I've seen this before," James said. "I know PTSD when I see it."

"PTSD?" Javik asked over his shoulder, still facing away from James.

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You don't have to deal with it alone. The Alliance has resources to help."

"It is my problem to deal with," Javik said. He looked down even further. "My weakness," he whispered, barely audible.

"We care about you, and that makes it our problem. And it is not a weakness. It is a normal reaction to a traumatic experience," James recited. "You had no control over the situation, and you had no one to lean on afterward. In OCS they taught us that those are the biggest risk factors for developing PTSD after trauma."

Javik shuddered. Was he crying?

"Your support structure was taken away from you," James continued. "No one should have to go through what you went through. Especially not alone."

A sob. Yeah, Javik was crying. Shit.

James slowly approached Javik from behind. "Hey, hermano. It'll be alright."

Javik put his hand over his eyes, ashamed.

James impotently reached out to touch air, then pulled back. "Damn. I wanna give you a hug, but…"

Javik sniffed then coughed. "If I am prepared, I can control what I sense."

"Alright. Dunno if it matters, but I'll try to think happy thoughts about Mamá and Tío Emilio."

James reached out and touched Javik's back. Javik turned his body to face James again, James's touch transforming into a one-armed hug around one of Javik's shoulders. James brought his other arm around Javik to complete the hug.

"Listen to me, hermano," James said, pulling Javik in tight. "It is not weakness to rely on other people. You are not weak; you are not broken; you are a valued member of this team. PTSD isn't a personal failing; it's an injury, and it's one you can recover from. It's just going to take some rehabilitation is all. But you're going to get through it. With us."

Friday, August 17th, 2187 (evening) — 05:12 Daleri local time

The shuttle landed about 5 meters away from Kaidan's group, Samara accompanying them. They walked up to the shuttle, Kaidan opened the shuttle door, and they climbed aboard. As the last of them boarded, Kaidan slid the door closed, and everyone with a breather took theirs off.

"News to report?" Kaidan asked as the shuttle took off.

"We found a witness," Garrus said as he stepped forward. "A volus trader spotted that Harvester when it took off. Tali was able to narrow it down to a cone of 30 square kilometers, mostly jungle. If we can find just one more witness, we should be able to pinpoint it."

"Hmm. 30 square kilometers of jungle. EDI, that should be feasible to scan, right?"

"The jungle is difficult to penetrate with traditional scans," EDI said, "but if the Normandy were to enter the atmosphere and scan from an altitude of 10 kilometers, we could use a radio-frequency sweep to detect hidden structures. Detection would be nearly certain if a significant amount of metal is in use, such as iron-reinforced concrete."

"Sounds like a plan. What about you, James? Anything to report?"

Javik, who was seated and staring at his hands in his lap, somehow managed to look even more closed off. Afraid I'll draw attention to him, James thought.

"Nothing related to the mission," James said. "I have something I'd like to discuss in private, though, when you get the chance."

From the rooftops, a pair of eyes watched the shuttle depart. A UV-frequency laser listening device stood on a tripod next to her, a motorized mount tracking the shuttle as it lifted off into the sky. She pressed a button on her headphones.

"Head, this is Talon, come in."

"Talon, this is Head, I read you."

"Target has a lead. Beta site location compromised. Over."

"Acknowledged. We'll have it cleared out within two hours. Over."

"One more thing. They have a justicar with them. Out."

ADDITIONAL CHAPTER NOTES:

In my head, the Alliance is enlightened enough on mental illness that Officer Candidate School teaches all future officers the basics of spotting and handling the common ones like PTSD. Sort of like a field medic, but for mental trauma instead of physical. Of course, looking at today's military and extrapolating forward 170 years, this... may be overly optimistic.