We put a crack in the shadows and you tell me it's okay to be the light
And not to swim in the shallows, and I want to get drunk with you
When we lie so still, but you're taking me places, holding me on to you.
And we don't care who's watching us
Ari was walking into the last Care of Magical Creatures class before Christmas break, in a good mood despite how cold it was. She was bundled up, her face hidden under a yellow and black scarf, only her eyes visible. Her mind was preoccupied with Charlie, who she could see sitting on a log, sketching in his book. She'd shoved Halloween out of her mind but occasionally the image of him, shirtless, popped back up in her brain. With the dance looming closer she was becoming more and more keyed up.
It was all but impossible to deny she had feelings for him anymore. What those feelings exactly where, was more complicated. A person more introspected might have spent some time trying to untangle them but Ari was comfortable with avoidance. Couldn't she just revel in the memory and do nothing tangible to make seeing more of him a reality? After all, she wasn't convinced she was the kind of person someone could really love. Hadn't Peter proved that? Everyone who loved her left her, or lied to her, or both.
She didn't want to watch her and Charlie devolve into that. She was scared, she thought, stepping through the wooden gate into the classroom. He was in his usual green jacked, his bag sitting next to his brown boots. His hair was in it's usual messy, low pony tail, the shorter pieces in front falling into his face. He was engrossed in his drawing, unaware of anything around him. Why couldn't she imprint that image into her brain, she asked herself as she pulled her scarf down to expose the rest of her face. She inhaled the cold air sharply, suddenly angry at herself.
She had no right to want anything else out of him. She'd drag him down with her.
"You're staring," Barnaby said, pulling Ari off to the edge of the space, right against the fence. He'd been waiting anxiously for her to arrive, getting there before anyone else so he could intercept her. He'd let himself get distracted, thinking about what the day's lesson might be about. Magical creatures gave him peace where he had so little. His family had been deeply involved with You- Know- Who and had spent his child hood training him up to be a blindly loyal follower and brutal, unforgiving dueler. For thirteen years, his thoughts had been overwhelmingly preoccupied with violence. No one saw him as anything but.
Ari was different. She'd seen him, though. It was a gift, he privately thought. She'd challenged him to leave Merula on his own terms, a duel. Had she really beaten him, or had he let her? Even now, he didn't really know. It was unthinkable he'd ever let anyone best him in a duel, but since he'd joined her little circle of friends he'd found peace. He'd been given space to care about things outside of the dark arts, which he had realized, he cared very little for.
His real fear was that everyone discovered just how close his family had been to You-Know-Who and judged him for it. He couldn't help his parents. He knew, if he'd been given a chance, he would take a different path. He was already on one, one that had ostracized him from many of his Slytherin peers, though none of them were willing to confront him directly.
He suspected things would get worse for him when they saw him dancing with a Hufflepuff, but he didn't care.
Ari snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Now who's staring?" She asked, her cheeks flushed from the cold. He shook his head. Still her, he realized as he followed her gaze back over to Charlie.
"You," he replied. "But I'm not here to make fun of you today. I have something for you." He reached for the lapel on her coat and pulled her up against his body. Her eyes widened.
"Barnaby," she said, their faces so closed she could smell his hair. He kept his eyes locked on hers as he pulled something out of his pocket and quickly slipped it into hers. Anyone watching them might think they were having an intimate moment instead of passing a stolen object from one hand to the other. That was important. He didn't want anything to be traced back to either of them. Rumors were easy to ignore when you knew they were fake.
Unfortunately, it was Rowan watching them. She'd come in a few minutes after Ari and plopped down next to Charlie. He was absorbed in a drawing of a dragon, oblivious to everything around him, including the cold it seemed. His ears were bright red. Rowan pulled hood over his head to shield him from the wind. She was about to ask him what he'd found out regarding Ari and her childhood when Barnaby and Ari caught his eye. Barnaby was propped up on the fence, the collar of his coat pulled up, offering a small amount of relief from the cold. His jaw was sharp against the black lines and she shivered. Neither of them was talking, both seemingly lost in thought. Ari's eyes drifted towards Charlie for a second and then back to Barnaby and she snapped in front of his face. Rowan couldn't hear what she said.
Whatever it was, Barnaby jumped down from the fence and grabbed Ari, pulling him against her. Rowan gasped, slapping Charlie with the back of her hand out of instinct. Were they going to kiss?
"What?" Charlie asked, irritated. He followed her gaze to Ari and Barnaby and inhaled sharply. Their eyes were locked on one another, an intense gaze, their breath mingling in the cold air.
And then he let her go and Ari stepped back, shoving her hand in her pocket. Barnaby took her arm and turned her so their backs were facing Rowan and Charlie.
Rowan blinked, her eyes stinging a little. Charlie looked over at the brunette, trying to unclench his jaw.
"I'm sure it's nothing," he said, with no real conviction.
Rowan nodded, unable to stop watching.
"What is it?" Ari asked.
"Something I stole from Merula last Christmas," he told her quietly, looking around.
"You're stealing?" She asked, sounding aghast. Barnaby resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Ari had done much, much worse.
"Having someone's possessions is a form of currency in Slytherin. Merula wouldn't shut up about that stupid flask all last year. It's a refilling flask; you pour something in it and it'll constantly refill itself."
"Why do I need it?"
Still not looking at her, Barnaby jammed his own hands in his pockets as they clenched into fists. "Secrets are also a form of currency. Merula doesn't understand that; she's got a big mouth and she needs people to think she's smart. On Halloween, she had her house elf poison you."
"She WHAT?!" Ari snapped, turning around sharply, unaware she was being watched. Her hair whipped into her face and she brushed it away, prepared to confront Merula, who had just wandered in with her sycophant, Ismelda trailing behind. Barnaby grabbed her, again, annoyed. Ari lacked all ability to think things through.
"Now you know something Merula doesn't know you know," he whispered into her ear, having pulled her close to him again. Ari's face was etched with fury as she stared Merula down. "And you have something of hers she doesn't know you have."
"So what?" Ari snarled, angling her chin so she could look up at him. "I don't need tricks to curse Merula-"
"You promised Rowan you'd stay out of trouble," Barnaby hissed back. "Do things the Slytherin way."
She spun around, green eyes locked on his own.
"And what's that?"
"Tonks and Tulip are planning to spike the punch. Tonks already has a bottle of Fire Whisky. I helped them get it. It's stashed away in the Artefact room."
"Are you suggesting I set Merula up?" Ari demanded. Finally, Barnaby thought. Wasn't she supposed to be smart?
"No, I'm telling you, you should set Merula up. She'd be in detention for months, Snape would call her guardians, she'd lose a ton of house points. More importantly, she'd know she was set up and she'd be furious. She hates it when someone beats her at her own game."
Ari looked back over at Merula, hate blooming in her chest.
"Fine," she said. "Let's do it."
Rowan was distant during class and could barely look at Ari. It was obvious something was wrong, but Ari couldn't think of one thing that might be bothering Rowan. She hadn't been able to focus at all, too busy wracking her brain for what she might have one that would have upset Rowan and had gotten bitten. Merula had laughed and Barnaby had to physically stop Ari with his body to prevent her from jumping on top of her and beating the eyes out of her face.
When class was over, Rowan practically ran out. Ari was struggling to gather up her papers. "Can you get this for me?" She asked Charlie, desperately.
"Yeah but-"He said but she didn't stick around, running after Rowan.
"ROWAN!" She called, but Rowan didn't stop. Ari hated running, she was so bad at it and Rowan was walking so fast it should have been classified as a run. A jog, definitely.
Ari caught up, breathing heavy, grabbing her best friend by the arm and spinning her around. "Why are you mad at me?"
"I'm not mad," Rowan said, obviously lying. Her cheeks were burning red. "Not at you, anyway. Just myself, for thinking that someone like Barnaby could like me."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Ari demanded. "Of course, Barnaby likes you!"
"I saw you two, together. It's obvious he…I mean…you two almost-"
"What?! What did we do?" Ari shouted, realizing Ari had seen her and Barnaby plotting against Merula and had taken it wildly out of context.
"You almost…kissed…" Rowan said, wiping tears away with the back of her hands.
Ari laughed wildly as Barnaby and Charlie passed them. The two looked on, curiously, slowly their steps.
"You did not," Ari laughed, grabbing Rowan's hand and jamming it into her pocket. "This is what you saw." Rowan and Ari's faces where practically pressed up against each other. "He gave me something to help me get back at Merula."
"Ari, I'm- "
Ari held her hand up, stepping away. "I would never do anything to hurt you, Rowan. Never."
She stalked off, leaving Rowan standing there watching, angry at herself for letting her jealousy get the best of her. She felt like Barnaby could do better, and anyone could come along and take him. Seeing him and Ari had been proof of that to Rowan. She hadn't used logic when she'd watched them together. If she had, she would have reasoned that Ari was so wrapped around Charlie that she barely noticed other boys, and Barnaby had never held any interest to Ari.
Instead her mind had twisted the interaction into something ugly to fit her own insecurities. It all seemed ridiculous. She knew Ari wouldn't hold it against her, but she felt like the worst friend for accusing her of being interested in Barnaby.
Ari's mind was laser focused on the Artefact room. She waited until her classes were done, dodging her friends and their long-standing dinner date. She knew Barnaby would know where she was, hopefully he could cover for her. She passed the Great Hall, walking down the corridor to the Artefact room, where Barnaby had said the Fire Whiskey would be.
Framing Merula wasn't honorable, and she knew that. Honor was for Gryffindors, anyway, she reasoned. When she tallied up the interactions between Merula and her, she almost always lost. She was too focused on playing fair. Merula was constantly bringing a gun to a wand fight. Knowing that Merula had poisoned her and nearly killed her was eating away at Ari's brain. Merula deserved to be punished, just the once, by someone playing her own game.
"There isn't any other way," she whispered to herself, searching through the cabinets in the room. Finally, she found it, tucked far back and hidden in the lowest cabinet. Uncorking it, she poured it slowly into the flask, inhaling the rich, spicy smell.
Tonks and Tulip would definitely be aware someone had tampered with the bottle but Ari didn't care. Let them speculate until they died. She planned to dose the punch after her dance with Charlie. No one would be focused on her after that, too busy dancing themselves. Tulip and Tonks wouldn't be able to beat her to it. She'd leave the flash hidden, but easily findable.
Merula could finally reap what she sowed. Ari knew it wouldn't help her sleep at night or change what happened, but it would be nice to see someone beat Merula, just once.
Tonks had helped Ari sneak into Hogsmeade the morning of the dance. She needed hair pins and found all hers somehow missing. She swore she always put them back when she used them, but like socks, they seemed to vanish into the void after being used once. Her hair was already done, curled softly and tumbling down her back and her mind running over her plan to set Merula up as she made her way down to the Hufflepuff common room.
Coming the opposite way was Charlie, holding an enormous box. He saw her and smiled, attempting a wave from under the box, causing the lid to tip off. Ari jogged over to help him.
"Whatcha got there?" She asked, peering into the box. It looked like a large, black blanket.
He flushed. "Dress robes," he admitted, shoving the lid firmly back on the rectangular box. "Bill sent them, they only just arrived today."
"Why is Bill sending you dress robes?" She asked, charmed by the idea.
"The dress robes mum sent are…well, they were probably fashionable a century ago. I'd mentioned them in a letter to Bill and he sent these so that I…" he trailed off, looking embarrassed. Now she was extra charmed. He wanted to look nice for her. It made her heart pick up.
"Oh. That was really nice of Bill," she said awkwardly, straightening up now that Charlie had the box firmly in his arms again. He seemed to be seeing her for the first time.
"You did your hair," he commented, his voice strangled sounding. "It looks nice."
"Thanks!" She said brightly, fingering one of the long curls. "Rowan did it this morning. I needed pins so I went into Hogsmeade," she was rambling, she realized, as she held the bobby pins up for him to see. Why was she being like this? It was just regular Charlie: messy hair, brown pants, maroon sweater, green jacket, blue eyes. She saw them everyday and functioned just fine.
But, a small voice breathed in her ear, he's not fussing over your appearance every day. He isn't getting dressed up for you every day.
"Uh," he said, biting his lower lip, "Do you want me to meet you at your common room or…?"
They were really going to this dance tonight, together, weren't they? He'd never asked her, and she hadn't asked him. It was happening though, all the same.
She shook her head. "Just…the great hall is probably fine. You don't have to go out of your way." She couldn't look in his eyes anymore. Why was she so scared?
He nodded, smiling. "Sounds like a plan, Ari. I'll see you tonight." He stepped around her, heading up to the Gryffindor tower, leaving her there, feeling like an idiot.
After a few seconds of pure terror, she started walking again. Everything was going to be fine. Their little interaction was not going to be an indication of how the night was going to go. They were friends, he never said he wanted to be with her.
She needed to relax.
Ari stepped out of the common room, the last of them to leave. Her mind had been replaying the conversation with the Bloody Baron over and over. She hadn't told anyone what he'd told her, although She knew eventually she'd have to. She needed to get his journal and pour over it, first, before she did anything else. She didn't know if she could trust her memories of Jacob anymore, but also was unsure if she could trust the perspectives of the people who had known him. Being withdrawn didn't make him a bad person and discovering dark things didn't necessarily mean he himself was dark. She did know, deeply, that she had to at least find out what Jacob had gotten himself into, even if it meant confronting the dragon guarding the cursed vault in the forbidden forest again. If he had gotten mixed up in the dark arts, did she even want to save him? Could he be saved at all?
She wasn't sure of anything, consumed with her own worries, as she walked down the stairs. Tulip, Penny, Rowan, and Tonks were waiting.
"What a dramatic entrance," Tulip commented, but she was smiling all the same. Tulip and Tonks had opted to wear black dress robes instead of a gown. "More mobility," Tulip had said while Tonks had rejected anything that might make her seem even a little marriageable. Rowan had ditched her glasses for the night, her hair pulled off her face. For the first time, Ari had a really clear view of her dark eyes. Rowan was so pretty, she thought, looking at Rowan in her modest, navy blue dress. The dress had elbow length sleeves and delicate beading around the bodice. The front was cut shorter than the back, giving it a soft train, and showing of Rowans shoes, a pair of matching beaded flats. Her neckline scooped gently just under her collarbone, the overall effect incredibly soft.
Next to her, Penny was in a tight white dress. The dress fluted out around her feet and was cut lower, showing off a small amount of cleavage although not enough to cause any trouble with Professor Sprout. The back of the gown was cut midway down her back and her hair was intricately braided into one, large braid that draped over her shoulder.
As for Ari, she'd decided on a flowing, gold dress. Cut like a toga, a long strip of fabric covered one shoulder, leaving the other bare. A white belt circled her waist, giving the dress a nice shape before flowing softly down over her feet. Gold encircled her upper arm, the only jewelry she'd put on. She'd pulled her hair halfway off her face with only small pieces framing her face. Ari was short, but so was Charlie so she'd opted out of heels and instead wore matching gold flats, carefully hidden under the fabric of the dress.
"You know me," Ari responded, giving them a small twirl when she got down. The dress fanned out around her in a way that gave Ari immense satisfaction. It would look nice when her and Charlie danced their mediocre waltz for their heads of houses. She hoped it might offer a slight distraction to her dancing.
Outside the door, Barnaby was waiting nervously for Rowan.
"This is actually happening," Tulip whispered, causing Tonks and Ari to break out giggling.
"Be quiet," Penny shushed them. "I think it's so nice."
"I hope you're ready to start the first dance," McGonagall said to Charlie, who was impatiently waiting for Ari just outside the hall.
"We've been practicing for months," he lied, his eyes glued to the corner the girls would be coming down.
"Oh, I'm certain Ms. Young has been giving it her all," McGonagall responded, leaving Charlie to his nervous thoughts. He thought he might explode into a million tiny pieces and he hadn't even seen her yet. The glimpse he'd been given this afternoon was driving him crazy and he had to fight the urge to run his hands nervously through his hair. Ben had spent a long time making it look decent. Six years and this was finally happening.
He was wondering if he should just lay his feelings out at her feet and see what happened when she appeared around the corner like something out of a dream he'd had. She looked like a living goddess, clad in sparkling gold, laughing at something Tonks had said.
"Close your mouth," Ben whispered next to him, causing Charlie to jump.
"When did you get here?" Charlie asked, dragging his eyes off of Ari.
"Long enough to see you making an ass of yourself. Play it cool."
"Oh, you're suddenly at one with the ladies?" Charlie challenged. Ben's face went red.
"Just trying to be helpful," he muttered. "Not that is matters. You two need to get it together."
Charlie looked back up to see her almost in front of him, lips parted, eyes wide. He jogged towards her.
"You look…"
"You too," she agreed, looking down at her feet.
"I cannot listen to this all night," Tonks said, walking away. "I just can't."
Barnaby clapped a hand on Charlies shoulder and said, "It's your responsibility to let me know if you two get together tonight." Charlie blinked, but Barnaby swanned away, Rowan at his side.
"There you are," Professor Sprout interrupted Charlie and Ari's pining. "Time to show us what you've got. A flawless waltz."
Charlie offered Ari his arm and the two walked in.
"Who has this dance?" Tulip asked as Ari went past. She snapped her head in Tulip's direction just in time to see Penny elbow her hard.
"I have tonight," Andre crowed, watching Charlie spin Ari onto the dance floor. They had never practiced with actual music.
"Deep breath," he whispered. "Head up, I lead…prove our heads of house wrong."
She nodded, placing a hand on his shoulder. His hand was warm on her waist, and he pulled her closer than usual. She steadied her breathing as the music began, and then they were moving, everyone's eyes on them.
"I hate this," Rowan complained. "Look at them, if they're not married by the end of this dance something terrible has happened."
"You were SO SURE you were right, but no one can resist a person in formal wear," Andre said smugly, watching Charlie lift Ari into the air with more grace than he would have imagined from the pair. To their left, McGonagall and Sprout were watching with twin smug expressions. Tulip was watching them curiously.
"Ben," she whispered. "What's Charlie's plan when he graduates?"
"He wants to study dragons in Romania," Ben whispered back, his eyes never leaving the dance floor. "Some amazing dragonologist has already promised him a spot if his grades don't change."
Tulip looked back over at Professor Sprout. Were they matchmaking? She was outraged. The teachers couldn't interfere with the pool. Sprout had suggested curse breaking in Romania for Ari, McGonagall had them dancing together in front of the entire school…no. The teachers were cheating.
Charlie spun Ari one last time as the music stopped. His heart was pounding, blood rushing in his ears. Everything had happened just as he had promised Professor McGonagall: flawlessly. Ari hadn't tried to lead or stepped on his feet. He could hardly believe it.
Light clapping broke their concentration and Ari ducked her head, stepping out of his embrace. The rest of the students flooded the dance floor, leaving them standing in front of each other awkwardly.
Charlie opened his mouth, ready to tell her everything he'd been thinking, when something caught her eye.
"Merula," she said darkly. "I'll be right back."
He turned and caught her arm. "Let me help."
She looked at him for a moment and then- "Okay."
"Dancing doesn't feel natural," Barnaby said, letting Rowan lead in the dance. "Dancing is for girls, not men."
Rowan frowned. Why did so many of her friends have such bad parents? "Well, dancing can be powerful. You saw Charlie, did he seem weak?"
"He lifted Ari four times, you have to be pretty strong to do that."
Rowan suppressed a laugh. "Exactly. But, Barnaby, being a man is about more than just brute strength."
He looked down at her. "I believe you."
Her breath caught in her throat for a moment, but she cleared it away. She was all keyed up, watching her best friend fall in love under the candle light, that was all, she told herself. Barnaby and she couldn't have been more different if they'd been born on different planets. She was definitely attracted to him physically, but intellectually she wasn't sure there was anything between them. She'd always imagined she would grow old with someone that she could talk to for hours, about anything.
"I want to try, to be that kind of man. I don't want to be another brain-dead Death Eater," he continued, oblivious to her inner monologue. "I want to study animals, like Professor Kettleburn. Maybe even teach people about them. You see, with animals you don't need to be anything but exactly what you are. They can see you, you know? Does that make sense?"
Rowan nodded, unsure of what to say. Now who was speechless?
"That's what I like about you. You see people for who they are. No one else really sees me, but you do."
Their eyes met, and she smiled. "I do see you." She didn't, she realized. She never had. She wanted to, though.
"Barnaby gave this to me during our last Magical Creatures class," Ari said, pulling a flask out of the back of her dress. "It's Merula's. What's neat about it is that it constantly refills. There is no way to ever run out of whatever you put in it."
"What did you put in it?" Charlie asked suspiciously.
"Fire whiskey. It was all I could get my hands on," she admitted.
"Are you planning to spike the punch bowl?"
"Do you think it's a bad idea?" She asked, nervous suddenly. If Charlie thought it was a bad idea there was no way she'd be able to go through with it.
"Tonks and Tulip are going to be really disappointed that you beat them to it," Charlie stood in front of the bowl, using his body to shield Ari from view as she began pouring the whiskey into the punch.
"I didn't do anything," Ari said, hiding the flash just out of view, but not so well it couldn't be found and traced right back to Merula. "Merula did."
He smiled.
"Want to dance again?"
"Are you offering to be my alibi?" She teased, taking his offered hand.
"Why nothing would delight me more."
"Mr. Weasley, you flatter me."
"Can you believe someone spiked the punch?" Tulip sulked, sitting down at the table everyone else was resting at.
"What?!" Rowan spluttered, spitting her drink back into her cup.
"Yeah," she said sourly, watching Penny and Tonks dance. "I was going to do that."
"Well I for one am completely shocked," Charlie said with feign surprise.
"Yes that is brand new information to me as well," Ari giggled. Tulip narrowed her eyes at them.
"What did you do?"
"This punch is amazing," Barnaby interrupted, plopping down to Rowan. "Here, taste it."
"Oh, honey, no…no. Give me that," Rowan said, taking the glass from an obviously tipsy Barnaby.
"Let's dance!" He jumped back up, enthusiastically, motioning for Rowan to join him but she declined.
"I will!" Ari volunteered, letting him spin her theatrically.
"I am really bad!" He said, laughing as they made their way through people.
"So am I. Charlie just made me look good."
He grabbed her hand and the two began a ridiculous, but fun, twist. "Look," he said, pulling her flush against his chest. "You can be in love with Charlie but you can't date him until we get into the cursed vault in the forest. I have a lot of galleons riding on that outcome and-"
"What?" Her smiled faltered a little. "What do you mean you have galleons riding on us getting together in the cursed vault?"
"The bet, the bet! Everyone knows about the bet!" He continued, oblivious to what he was saying. "I put money on a cursed vault and I really want to win."
"You made a bet?"
"We all did! Tulip, Tonks, Ben, Rowan, everyone has money in it!"
"Does Charlie?"
"Pffft! Nope! We can't tell him, either. Hey where are you going?"
She stormed over to her friends, most of whom were still gathered and talking around the table.
"You made a bet about my love life?!" She demanded, cutting through their conversation. Charlie's smile faded as he looked around at the instantly guilty faces.
"What bet?" He asked. Ari was shaking, furious with her friends.
"They all made a bet on if we would start dating," she said, her voice trembling. "They put money on it and everything."
He blinked and then stood next to Ari. "Is this true?"
"It was all in good fun," Tulip said quickly.
"It's just you guys are so obviously…" Rowan's words died on her lips.
"So obviously what?" Ari demanded. "So obviously what, Rowan?"
"In love!" Tulip exploded, jumping out of her seat, fists balled up at her side. "Anyone with eyes can see it, Merlin even the teachers are trying to set you two up! It would be almost funny if it wasn't so pathetic."
Ari took a step back. She felt as if Tulip had slapped her. "I thought you were my friends."
"Ari!" Rowan shouted but Ari turned on her heel and strode out. Charlie hesitated, watching her leave. He turned back to his friends, his face disappointed.
"You know, she thinks that no one really loves her, right? This isn't your best look."
Ari didn't know where to go. She couldn't go back to her room, where her "friends" would be waiting, and she could bare to face anyone else. She was pacing down a hall. "I just need somewhere I can be alone. Where no one can find me. A place where I can cry," she murmured to herself, trying to think.
"Ari," Charlie said, jogging towards her. Shame bloomed in her chest. "Hey, come on, come talk," he said, taking her hand and leading her to a door she could have sworn had not been there before.
Inside was the strangest room she'd ever seen. It looked exactly like a Hogwarts dormitory, but it was empty. Large, fluffy chairs were situated in front of a roaring fireplace. A fluffy rug covered the majority of floor space and a four-poster bed was pressed up against a wall, as if it had been abandoned years before.
"Did you know this was here?" She asked, having momentarily forgotten why they were there in the first place.
"No," he said, looking around, surprise written all over his face.
"I just wanted somewhere to be alone," she said, sinking into one of the chairs. He followed, sitting on the arm. She rested her head against his leg.
"I know they weren't trying to be mean, but it makes me feel like we're some kind of big joke," she finally said after staring into the fireplace silently. "Did you know everyone thinks we're in love?"
"Aren't we, though?" He asked with more bravery than he felt. "I know that I've been…well…since I first saw you. You changed my eleven-year-old life."
She blinked. Who had he even been to her that first year? They'd had Herbology together and he had been dismal in it. Flying lessons, he was amazing even as a first year, and had made the Gryffindor Quidditch team his second year. She'd watched him play, but he wasn't even on her radar. They hadn't met, to her, until her fourth year. Bill had brought him to help them study. Charlie had a reputation then, for magical creatures.
She had been annoyed at first. Barnaby was Ari's encyclopedia for magical creatures then. Charlie seemed like an adrenaline junkie and was an outsider. How quickly he had become one of her best friends, though? She'd taken to him almost immediately, taking him into the forbidden forest with her…fighting that red cap, the acromantula…
She didn't say anything. "I don't know," she finally admitted. The lapsed back into silence and she thought. Be honest, her mind demanded. She thought back to last year, running from the dragon. What had she been the most afraid of?
Charlie dying. She'd dropped Jacob's journal, the only link she had to him, so she could save Charlie's life. It would have been unthinkable to her, to let it go, under any other circumstances. What wouldn't she have risked going back and get it?
Anything. But not Charlie.
If she was being honest, was it her life she was really worried about? Sparing him from the pain of her death, or sparing herself the pain of his? She could put off dating until the Jacob thing was no longer hanging over her head, when they were both safe, and there was no risk at all that she had to worry about Charlie.
It was selfish, and she knew it.
"I don't want to live a life that you're not in," she finally whispered, afraid to look at him. "I thought…I thought if I put this off…put US off, I could spare you the pain of me not surviving the cursed vaults. But really I was sparing myself that pain."
"What are you saying?" He asked, his voice hoarse.
"I love you, too."
"I can wait, Ari," he said, sliding down from the arm of the chair so he was kneeling in front of her. He took her hands in his and looked at her earnestly. "I meant it. Just hearing you say you love me too…it's enough. I can wait. We can finish this year, and even next year if you need to."
"Charlie…" she said, overwhelmed but he shook his head.
"It's no good if you're fighting yourself to be with me. I want you to want it as bad as I do. I can wait. It's just time."
"We'll open the cursed vault…together. And we'll face whatever is inside it together…and after that…we'll just be together. I swear it."
He kissed the top of her hand, eyes closed.
"As long as we're together."
"I've looked everywhere," Rowan said hopelessly. They had resumed their search after Ari hadn't come back the night before. "I didn't find her anywhere."
"I can't believe Barnaby told her," Tulip fumed from inside the Hufflepuff common room.
"It's not just his fault," Penny sighed, chin in her hand. "It's all of our faults. It was really thoughtless of us to make that bet in the first place."
"It wasn't meant to be hurtful…we were just rooting for them," Tulip vented, frustrated.
"I know. She'll come around, just give her space," Rowan said. Tonks jumped up to answer a banging on the door. Ben and Barnaby trudged in.
"Charlie didn't come back last night, either."
"They're together, somewhere," Tulip finally stopped pacing and sat down. "I just want to apologize."
"Honestly, I think we should just leave them alone. If we push it, they might not want to be around us anymore."
"It wasn't that big of a deal!" Tulip argued. "Just a stupid bet made among friends."
"It was a big deal," Rowan sighed. "We were jerks."
"I feel like an asshole," Barnaby added.
"I like Ben's idea. Let them come out when they're ready," Tonks decided. "At which point I will throw myself at Ari's feet and beg her to forgive me."
Tulip nodded. "Okay."
"We made a mistake," Ari said, sitting in her gown and looking at the door. "Everyone is going to know I didn't go home last night."
"I can go get you something to wear," Charlie offered. "So you don't have to do a walk of shame through the castle."
"Yeah but then you'll have to do the walk of shame," she pointed out. He shrugged. What did he care? He was personally having the best twenty four hours of his life. She'd told him he loved him, promised that they would stay together, and let him hold her until she fell asleep and now she was sitting there, in the same bed they'd slept in the night before, disappointed they had to part ways. He was comfortable hiring a sky writer, but walking through the castle in last nights dress robes was fine with him as well.
"We could just walk out together?" She suggested. "Find out who won the bet."
"We're not dating," he reminded her.
She took a deep breath and let her hands flop into her skirt. "I should be brave. Let's just go together…and hope we don't run into any of our teachers."
"Whatever you want."
The walk wasn't as bad as she thought it would be, which wasn't saying much. So many people were lounging around and openly staring. Charlie didn't seem to mind as he guided her through the halls, his hand pressed gently against her lower back. Charlie had had the right idea when he suggested going to get her clothes. She knew rumors would be flying all over the school before she ever made it back to her dorm.
She was grateful he walked her all the way to hers instead of parting ways at the staircase. They stood outside Hufflepuff door, staring at each other.
"See you Monday?" He offered, finally. She nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.
"See you Monday."
She watched him walk away for a moment and then lifted her skirt and walked in. Tonks, Tulip, Penny, and Rowan were sitting together, playing a game of chess. They didn't register her immediately when she came in. A third year sitting on the other end of the room took her appearance in and asked, "Did you stay out all night?"
Four heads snapped up to look at her and she just shrugged. "Maybe I did."
The girl smiled.
"That is seriously so cool."
Ari stood in front of her friends, looking at them each in turn. Charlie had told her the night before that he wasn't mad. If she was being honest (it seemed like she'd been doing a lot of that these days), she really wasn't either. She was just hurt.
Rowan stood and hugged Ari, followed by Tonks, Penny, and finally Tulip.
"I'm really sorry," Tulip whispered. The rest of the girls murmured in agreement.
"I'm not mad," Ari said from the center of their hug. "It just hurt my feelings."
"We shouldn't have done it," Rowan said quickly.
"We didn't mean anything hurtful by it," Penny added.
"I understand if you don't want to invite us to your wedding," Tonks said.
"Merlin Tonks," Rowan cried.
"Too soon," Tulip responded, hiding a smile. Ari smiled too. If the worst thing her friends ever did to her was argue about her love live, was that so bad?
A little twinge said that maybe she wasn't totally over it, but Ari shoved it down. For now, she wanted to be, so she would be.