I'm not that Innocent

August 7, 2007

Here

Here I am. Lying in a bed screaming for my life and two others. Yes, two. I'm in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by Kabuto, and pathetic medic-nin. He said he would be here, damn it. "He said he would!" I let out another screech of terror. Two. I had to do this twice.

If it weren't for those two seconds. The two seconds that I couldn't stand.

Second Heart

A regular evening at the ramen bar. Naruto was sitting next to me at the time, telling me about his last mission. He motioned the waves as he was trapped. Then I loved listening to his stories. Some even gave me encouragement, "And then we retrieved the people back to safety. It was a piece of cake!" He laughed along with me.

"Wow, Naruto-kun!" I showed my authentic amusement.

It started with a complement, "You're so nice, Hinata." then the kunai through the heart, "I could call you my little sister. You're so nice, pretty, and innocent." He ranted, "You'll always be second in my heart, lil' sis." The words hurt my ears.

Innocent? I'm a ninja, how could I be innocent, "Ano..." I got up without a word. At first I walked. Then I heard Sakura approach Naruto. I walked faster. And faster. Until I got into my room. Where I cried.

Defining Innocent

I'm not innocent. Crying was starting to get boring after several hours. It wasn't long until my eyes began to ache. I looked in the mirror at my reddish cheeks, and pale skin, "Can I even...?" I tried glaring, but it made my headache go from dull to sharp.

The bar became more amusing. Drinks can make you happy. (hmfan: No they can't kids.) It helped me think in a way. That's where I came up with my strategies, mapped out my day and came up with one simple fact: Naruto doesn't think I'm tough. He like tough girls. Ones that boss him around. That's all Sakura ever does.

But then, I needed to know what innocent really meant,

in no sent

adv. Free from moral wrong. (hmfan: coughHinatacough) Antonyms: experienced, dark, mature, demonic. (hmfan: coughSasukecough)

I can be dark. I can be experienced. I can be mature. Although I wasn't so sure about the demonic part.

I decided to do some shopping first thing.

Maturing to his Love

I took off my jacket, attempting to show any maturity I had. I made sure not to cross the line to slut, by alternating what I show. It was hard, seeing I've covered myself up since I was four, but that shows innocence.

A tank top with shorts and fishnet leggings. White top. Black bottoms. That's classy, isn't it?

The fashion transformation came along with my new personality. A glare was becoming easier to do. As well as scoffing, scolding, and talking back. At times I got too much into it and threw in a few curse words. But most of the times I was able to control it around people I knew.

But after all that I still don't know anything. Hyuga women are often shielded from life's guilty pleasures. Most didn't know until they were sent off to be married. I knew there was something out there and I'd heard Jiraiya had had a lot of books on XXX's.

After while, that became my study book. That's all I'd do. Wake up. Read. Train with family. Read. Train with team. Read. Eat. Read. Train with family again. Read. Go to the bar. Read. Go to bed. I just needed to know the basics. It seemed I would never finish a book because I was uninterested in the half-baked plots.

New terms and slang were appearing in my head. Methods. Tools. It was a whole new world.

Bargain at the Bar

I haven't seen Naruto since the incident. Kiba said he went on a mission, so in the mean time I stayed at the bar instead of the ramen shop. And then...I met him. That sick bastard! I saw him come towards me with a bottle full of vodka and two glasses. Vodka was my favorite out of all of them. Not any of those fruity drinks they make for fruity people. He sat down next to me, pouring me a glass as well as one for him. I was already tipsy, but I did remember his name, "S-Sasuke."

He smirked, "What?"

I shook my head, regaining my memory. He tried to kill Naruto! That's the bastard that left Naruto and Sakura alone, "I-I...w-why did you bring me a drink?" I blushed when he touched my hand then caressed my cheek.

"You've always been attractive to me. I like you." he said, making me blush deeply. What kind of prick is he? He handed me a glass, whispering, "Drink up."

This was kind of like that drinking contest I had the other day with Tsunade. I drank a glass. He drank a glass, "I-I'm sorry, but, I already like someone else." I wasn't sorry. I really wish he'd die.

"He doesn't like you, Hinata. He never will." He handed me another drink, making sure to fill it to the rim. And attempted to make it even by drinking one himself.

He must think I'm stupid! This is just like Ichi Ichi Paradise Volume IV where Kyo tries to convince Keiko that he's the one by getting her drunk. I drank it fast. My eyes watered, "No."

The room began rocking, his words were clear, "I've seen you watch him, Naruto. He's in love with Sakura."

I was disgusted, he's been spying on me? "You've been in otogakure." I forgot to studder. Over the last few days, boys would glance my direction, but Sasuke says he's seen me watch him when he's in a whole nother country. He must be a stalker. I hid my disgust with a blush.

He smirked, handing me another glass, "I've been watching you for a while...eleven years, Hinata." It took me a while to figure out what he said, it took me even longer to figure out his arm was on my thigh, inching up with a warm touch. This was getting too far. The room began to spin faster. I drank.

"Your clothing has changed for him as well, hasn't it?" He leaned over whispering, "I love it more than he does." He whispered something else, but I couldn't understand him. I was lost in thought.

No, Naruto just hasn't been here. That's all! My vision and speech was slurred, when I meant to say let go, I said, "Letsssss go." It wasn't too long before his warmness switched to my thigh to my own hand. We left had the bar.

Rape in the Darkness

My back hit a tree. He wouldn't stop kissing me. The touching didn't cease. It felt both good and painful at the same time. He hurt me the first time and covered my mouth when I tried to scream, "You'll love me, hime." he whispered again and again. Each time the pleasure began to override the pain and my screams began to decrease.

The pain and pleasure finally stopped as I dropped on my knees and cried. This is what you wanted, isn't it, Hinata. Experience, maturity, darkness. You just got a taste of it: Uchiha Sasuke. What I'd forgot is that a synonym of innocence is virginity.

He pulled away, pulling up his pants clothes, "Follow me when you're ready. Otogakure." He left me alone as I cried and cried some more. To this day, I still look at it like it was my fault. But I've forgiven him a long time ago.

Something was missing. Um...it began with a "C". Out of all the books I've read, missing this item could create a world of trouble.

His Name, My Life

Uchiha Sasuke. Sasuke Uchiha. Half the population of the Uchiha clan. The youngest Uchiha. There had to be some explanation. I don't think I even thought of Naruto once at that point in my life. Most people after a rape would cry all day. I didn't. To me it wasn't a Law in Order SUI, but a mystery of some sort. It wasn't why this, but why me.

He never smiled. In all the time I've known him he never smiled. I went through his stuff, searching for why he never smiled. I remember a massacre from when I was young. So he must be lonely. I shook my head. It's not his fault he's like that.

Sickness and Health

I stayed in my room for the longest by a bucket and a keg of water. I'm pregnant. There's no getting around it. I am pregnant.

Neji was worried. Hell, I even think my father was worried about me. When they'd pass by my room, they'd peek in. Sometimes my father would scold, "Get up and do something." Neji would rarely say anything. If it was it was a grunt or his regular, "Tch." Darkness is where I was, yep.

I think the first person to actually talk to me was Hanabi, "Onee-chan, get up! You've been crying for the last two weeks. What's wrong with ya?"

In her rude fashion, she pulled the covers off of me. I explained to her, "Hanabi, something happened to me. Don't tell father, but something bad happened to me."

She widened her eyes. We rarely talked, "What?" She asked with a hint of worry in her voice.

"Uchiha Sasuke." I turned on my Byakugan. She was old enough to know, "I'm having his child." She screamed. I knew she would scream. She's had a crush on Sasuke for the longest.

It was joy in her heart, but she could sense it was a bad thing, "...and you don't want to?" Confusion. Silence. I shook my head, tears coming down. I didn't want to have his child. 17 is too young to have a child, "The Uchiha Sasuke wanted you over everyone in the village."

What does she know about, "How-"

"I've been reading Ichi Ichi since I was 10." Her Byakugan activated, "You're having two children at the same time. Twins, just like uncle and father." She smiled.

This wasn't good, I sent her a glare, "Hanabi, I'll have to leave the village. As the heiress, I'll become the leader in..." I counted the days to my inauguration, "Ten...months." I gulped, "I'll pack tonight."

She nodded, understanding the situation, "I understand the situation, Hinata. Just," he hair hung over her eyes, shadowing her expression, "come back later. I want to see your family."

That night I packed I retreated to the sound.

Pregnant and Leaving

I couldn't run, every time I ran, I'd get tired. As soon as I tried to remember as much as I could about Sasuke, I sensed a kunai coming in my direction and stopped it in mid-air. I was right next to a target. I looked to the left to see Naruto for the first time in a month. He must have returned from his mission. Next to him, Sai and Sakura.

"Hey, Hinata." Sakura waved with a frown. She saw my apparel, "You look nice." No, I looked stupid. I looked like a slut. I looked like...someone else.

Sai and Naruto stood back for a while, whispering to each other, Sai yelled, "Hey, nice rack!" I didn't like Sai. He reminded me of Sasuke I walked up to him. Silent yet outgoing. I closed my eyes, punching him to a tree in the distance. I was not in the mood.

That's when I looked into Sakura's eyes. She knew what was wrong. That's when I ran. I ran away for good. There was someone I needed to confront.

The cliff that lead to Otogakure was right there. I could jump killing me and the baby, or I could find Sasuke and tell him. He wouldn't be happy for one. It would be embarrassing, but I wasn't in the place to kill the baby...I mean babies. From past experiences, I had remembered Orochimaru's lair was hidden.

It would be easy. Found it. I transfered my self in a nearby treehouse, "Orochimaru-sama."

He smirked, "What is it, my dear?" His voice still frightens me to this very day.

"Please tell me where Sasuke is. Uchiha Sasuke." I held my hand over my abdomen, "I have news for him that will take some time to explain."

The snakish man looked the place I was rubbing, "Oh, news is it? Are you the one my student is interested in? You've been getting in the way of our training." He talked about how Sasuke wouldn't stop thinking about me and how he'd been anxious to return to Konoha alive. I was already tired, leaning over and gripping his shirt.

"Tell me where he is or you will be faced with consequences. I have a cla-" my eyes widened. His hand. The hand that lead me to the tree. The same hand that forced me onto the path am on now. It was on my rear end.

I'm His

"She's mine." the hand tightened then released, "Give us privacy." He forced the snake man out with looks alone it seemed. Now we were alone again. Sasuke and I. He said, "What brings you here, love?"

I turned around, refusing to look at my rapist, "You raped me, a ninja." I could sense his shocked emotions. It's like he didn't know he raped me.

He took my chin and looked me in the eyes. His Sharingan lit up his face, "I asked you accepted. It wasn't rape. Even in my drunken stupor you could see that."

I was awestruck, "Yes..." I barely remember the scene, it was becoming harder to remember the more time passed. I sighed, "How do I know you're not lying. You approached me with two large glasses and a bottle full of alcohol. What were your intentions then?"

"I was planning on sleeping with you." he looked to the side like this was his official love confession, "My experiences with alcohol were revealing things that I've kept aside and doing things for the better." (hmfan: keep in mind kids, this is not so) He began to whisper as he spoke.

I shook my head, "You don't make any sense." He didn't make any sense. He was saying, while I was drunk I accepted him to sleep with me and he'd planned it all along. He was picking me up with alcohol, "You bastard!" I yelled, "Even though I'm pregnant I'm not afraid to fight!" I did a split, making him loose his balance, and sliding back on the slippery floor.

He looked at me like he didn't understand what I said, "You're what?" I didn't want to talk to him anymore, anything that would get in the way of his desk was not in my priorities. But I couldn't fight him, he kept dodging, never attacking me. My stamina was already low from getting here. My eyes filled with tears, I could barely see him snatch my arm and bring me towards him.

"Stop it." That second when he kissed me, giving me my first official kiss, I realized I was his.

Sharing

I sighed, half mad, but I couldn't afford to do something stupid. At the time, I didn't want to realize I was his, and I'd never be Naruto's, but I continued with the news I was going to share, "You got me-...I'm having your-...I ran away from Konoha for one reason and one reason only." I pushed him away, pointing an accusing finger at him, "We're having a child together!"

I remember Kabuto walking past, snickering. Probably not only at the situation, but Sasuke's expression. He turned away, tears coming from his eyes, smirking, "I didn't plan this to happen, but now I'll have to make you love me, won't I?" He took my hand and said, "And I can't wait for that to happen."

No. It's all backwards. The song goes: Sasuke and Hinata sitting in a tree. K-i-s-s-i-n-g first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage. That's how love works. It's not first comes drunken encounter, then comes a one-sided lover then a wedding to prevent your children from being bastards and protecting your honor, "What?"

Caring

He took care of me, sure, but right now, I can't wait to kill him all over again. Has he succeeded in courting me? Well, there's no place I rather be then here. Screaming. In pain. And having his children, "SASUKEEEEE!" Here comes the snake freak. I still don't like him. In fact, I hate him.

He opens his mouth, soon to speak, "Sasuke is scared." He smirked widely. Snake freak shook his head, closing his eyes and holding up a finger, "The poor boy is right around the corner, but he refuses to see you in this state. He said something about not being a good father." The bastard snickered.

"Sasuke!" I yell, hoping he comes, "Sasuke, I need you right now!" I threw something at the door way, "Get your ass in here." I said once more. His head peeked around the corner. He frowned, I glared. He should be by my side right now, "You ungreatful bastard, I'm having your children and you play chicken!"

My poor boy looksaround, "I need everyone to leave." He gulps, staring me in the eyes, "I need to attend to some business." Everyone except for the main OBGYN walks out. Then I find myself in a big embrace, "I'm sorry." Since there's still someone in the room, he probably refrained from kissing me, and saying more.

It's like he didn't know I was happy. The doctor looks towards us, "We're going to have to give you an epidural before it's too late. Excuse me Uchiha-san"

hmfan: And that's a wrap.

Kakashi: Uh...I've read one-shots.

hmfan: How was it. Not too bad, right?

Kakashi: I wouldn't rate it M.

hmfan: Good! Well, one-shots aren't my forte, this isn't really a oneshot, it's an overview of something I plan to do in a few years.

Kakashi: So please review this mediocre fic.

hmfan: I need it to improve. Here, I even made this... it's a review format.

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