Title: Attack of the plot bunnies
Word count: 1321
Summary: Sounds like the writers aren't the only ones who have problems with misbehaved rodents.
Rating: K
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or anything it involves. They are the property of the BBC
Credit where credit's due: To the lovely members of Kemp's Men with whom I had a very entertaining weekend and who listened to me prattling about Torchwood with interest. Sirs, I salute you!
Author's note: Written mostly on a morris tour. This was supposed to be a silly little one shot, but I got ideas.

Jack flashed his hundred watt grin at the barmaid as she gave him his drinks, "Thanks Toran. I need your help, if you've got a couple of minutes we'll be over there."

The alien blinked at him, her large eyes twinkling with amusement, "Should have known Captain, you never come in here unless you need something."

"It's always just and excuse to see your pretty face darling, but don't tell Ianto I said that."

"Your secret's safe with me, I'll be over as soon as I can." She blinked at him again and turned to serving the next customer, whose orange skin clashed horribly with her purple scales.

Jack shook the thought from his head and carried their drinks across to the table where Ianto was already deep in conversation with a couple of aliens, his jacket and tie lying on the seat beside him. The Captain picked them up and hung them on the back of a chair, earning him a warm smile from his partner, and slid in beside him. Once he was settled the conversation resumed, "Captain, your partner has told us of the police's investigation. We will help you if we can, we don't want more attention drawing to our community than necessary, and if this has spread beyond these newcomers…"

One of the others turned to him and pointed a tentacle, "We will only help if it is purely Torchwood operated. You will not succeed without our help, and we do not wish the police to be involved."

He nodded, trying not to get annoyed at that pointing tentacle, "That's not an issue, the D.I. in charge of the case understands the position. They will pass information on to us, we will deal with it. I would like to deal with it without having to use violence, if that is possible."

"You want to meet with the people involved?" The first one asked

"Can you arrange that?"

Toran had approached silently and took a seat carefully, "I can arrange it. One of them comes in here regularly; I will advise him that it would be best for him to meet with you. I will send you a message with a time; be here, at this table, at the time I send."

"Just me?" he took a sip and maintained eye contact, Toran ran the show here in Cardiff, and she wasn't too secretive about it

"Just you Captain, it would be wise not to put Ianto in danger, and they will feel more comfortable if there is only one, even one with your… reputation."

"You think there will be danger?" Ianto asked, squeezing Jack's hand gently, "More than the usual I mean."

"I do not expect danger, but it is best to be prepared." She shrugged, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have customers to serve." The slim, attractive (to Jack anyway) alien sashayed towards the bar; sliding behind it with practiced ease and pulling down what Jack recognised to be the ingredients of a hyper-vodka. He was tempted, but they had work to do

"Refill Yan?" he asked, "I think we've got time for one more."

"We should get back to Gwen, we've given her enough time to call Rhys now."

Jack laughed, "Do you think she knows that we know?"

"I don't think she cares, but come on, maybe we'll startle her." Ianto stood and grabbed his jacket and tie again, putting them on quickly and waving to Toran as he led the way out of the little bar and up the stairs. The bar was in the centre of Cardiff, underneath one of the more popular clubs, but it used a perception filter so that no one saw the stairs or the door at the bottom. They walked back through the centre of Cardiff hand in hand, waving greetings to a few people they met on the way before crossing the Plass to the invisible lift.

The lift descended into a sort of well of calm; Myfanwy soared past them as though pleased to see them, a computer beeped quietly to itself and Gwen smiled at them over the top of her book, "Productive trip?"

Jack jumped off first and went over to her station, leaning against the desk to talk to her, "Yeah, Toran's arranging a meeting for us, well for me…"

Gwen closed her book, "I don't trust her, I don't know why but there's something I don't like about her."

"She's got her ulterior motives, I admit, but she's a nice girl. In a strictly professional kind of way of course." He smiled up towards the kitchen area where he knew Ianto was making coffee, "She's got a good position in the community, she wouldn't do anything to jeopardise that."

"If you say so…" the young woman looked sceptical, "You know her better than we do." Ianto brought three cups of coffee down and placed one on her desk, handing another to Jack and taking a sip from the last, "Thanks Ianto pet. Is it alright if I get off at about quarter past six tonight Jack? Rift permitting of course."

"Sure, I dare say Ianto and I can hold the fort on our own tonight." Jack gave one of his hundred watt grins again, "Is Rhys cooking?"

She blushed, "No, we're going out for a meal, that restaurant on the Bay."

"Nice place, enjoy your evening. But until then you can give us a hand with this filing."

"Joy." She muttered, smiling at the look of surprise on Ianto's face, "Oh come on, we've nothing better to do, have we? Come on, lead us to your lair."

The young man blushed and led the way to a room deep in the archives, a room which turned out to be completely full of filing cabinets, leaving room for the table and enough space to walk around it, "Welcome to where I work, Gwen. It's an approach I borrowed from Jay, except she would have more room for filing cabinets as she just uses the floor."

"You what?" Gwen blinked in confusion

"The head of Torchwood 1, you know, her office floor is covered in papers and the desk is shoved against the wall. She sits in the middle of the floor and gets through about a million post-it notes a day. She is the reason Staples keeps going, on her own."

"I think I need a trip to London to understand her system." Gwen muttered, as Ianto had been suggesting she go for several months now. "Anyway, where do we start?"

"Well." Ianto pulled his jacket and tie off and hung them on the hook on the back of the door, then put his hands on his hips, "We can work through that cabinet, if you take the laptop, Gwen, we can tell you what you're looking for. Or Jack can tell you what you're looking for and I'll file it away."

"Conveyor belt system." Jack grinned, pulling open the first drawer of the indicated filing cabinet, "What are we working through here Ianto?"

"Unknown species." The captain groaned, "Yep, anything we can get a name to we can file here. Anything else Jay's going to take back with her next time she comes over, wrap her brain around it for a bit."

"Lucky her." Jack pulled out a report and flicked through it, "Lucky us…"

Gwen had disappeared for her dinner with Rhys and they'd managed to get through a full cabinet before Jack got the message through from Toran, it was one word. "Now."

They were in action immediately, communicating without words as they hurried back up to the main Hub. Ianto helped Jack to put his coat on and kissed him on the cheek before he left, "Be careful, keep your comms on so I know what's going on." He just nodded as he stepped onto the lift and let it carry him up to the Plass.