Disclaimer: I don't own anything!
Warnings: This chapter is M-rated due to non-con!
AN: Thank you so much for your reviews on the previous chapter! It is always a delight to read your thoughts and emotions. All your feedback is welcome! The more reviews I get, the quicker I update! There are questions about whether or not Loki will ever fall for Thor, but I think this chapter will give some answer to that. There is non-con in this chapter, but I would say it's not extremely explicit. Still, this chapter is definitely M-rated. Proceed with caution!
I want to thank to brilliant Greenloki for all the help she has given me!
~ My Sweet Prince ~
~ 0 ~
Day 302
~ 0 ~
The book felt heavy in his hands. Loki couldn't stop himself from staring at the cover. It was an old book and by the way the edges were torn, he could tell Thor had read it a dozen times already, but he didn't care that this was Thor's favorite novel. He was just pleased that he had something new to read, something new to keep his mind busy.
"Thank you," he said quietly, hating himself for showing gratitude to the man that made his life one living hell.
He was sitting on his mattress - his legs folded Indian style - and he gazed up to meet Thor's gleeful eyes. The last few weeks had been ordinary and Loki liked to keep it that way, so he thanked his captor when he was allowed upstairs or when he was allowed to take a shower and now he thanked him for the small gift. It was utterly bizarre, but then again, his life wasn't exactly normal.
"It's not the easiest book to read," Thor told him, "but it is one of my favorites and I thought you might like it."
Loki stared at the title. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. He knew the story revolved around noble families against the background of the wars against France, but that was it. He was actually looking forward to reading this. For months he had been thinking of buying this book, but he had always decided against it because he knew it was heavy and difficult literature. Again he was reminded that Thor wasn't an idiot even though he enjoyed believing that.
"I'll let you know what I think about it," he said softly. Of course he already knew what he would tell Thor. It didn't matter whether he liked it or not, he would still say that he loved it. He didn't want to criticize Thor's favorite book after all, because that would only lead to a violent episode. He hadn't been hurt in weeks now and he liked to keep it that way.
He put the book aside and turned to face his captor. For the last few weeks, Thor had been coming down to this cell regularly which made Loki wonder if something was wrong. Nothing special ever happened during his visits: they just talked and sometimes sat in silence. There were times where Loki thought this was just a new phase to their 'relationship', but other times he could swear Thor appeared…troubled.
Then again, Thor was always troubled. He was crazy after all.
"Is something…" Loki really didn't know whether he was crossing any lines at this point. "Is something wrong?"
A chuckle came from Thor's lips, which wasn't the kind of reaction Loki had expected. "You know me too well," Thor replied. Loki couldn't believe that that is what Thor concluded at this moment. "I am fine, Loki, do not worry."
He would never worry. He didn't care one bit about Thor, but at least now they were having a conversation which was better than silence. He never wanted to give Thor too much time to think. That would only lead to horrific thoughts. No, it was best to keep him talking.
"The truth is," Thor began, sounding almost hesitantly. Loki feared for what he would hear now. "I have a date tonight."
Loki barely refrained himself from laughing, but he couldn't stop his lips from curving upwards. He quickly looked down, not wanting Thor to see his amused expression. He had expected something…abhorrent. He had thought Thor would confess he liked torturing kittens or something along those lines. But this…this was too ridiculous! Then Loki began to wonder who in his right mind would want to date Thor until he realized that in life, Thor probably managed to put up the most perfect disguise. In life, he was probably polite and kind. He probably smiled all the time and helped old ladies cross the street.
Nobody would ever guess Thor had kidnapped a man and locked him away in his basement.
But a man like Thor – and Loki hated to admit that he was handsome – needed to have a social life and he needed a girlfriend or boyfriend. Otherwise, people might start to ask questions which Loki knew Thor wanted to avoid at all costs.
"You are awfully quiet," Thor noted, "you are not offended, are you?"
Loki gazed up, a frown adorning his face. He had no idea where Thor had gotten that idea. "What?"
"Because I still love you," Thor continued, "I tell you I love you all the time, but now here I am, telling you I have a date. I hope I haven't hurt your feelings."
There were no words to express how Loki was feeling right now. He certainly experienced disbelief. He simply couldn't understand how Thor believed in his own bullshit! He wanted to scream at his captor in that moment. He wanted to tell Thor that he could never hurt his feelings because he had no feelings for him, not of that kind anyway. There was only hatred and animosity. He despised Thor with all his heart!
There was a long silence.
"Oh, don't worry about my feelings," Loki said neutrally. He grew aware that he had become the topic of their conversation so he tried to change it. "Who is the lucky person?" He didn't even dare to say woman. It might be a man since Thor had such strong 'feelings' for him. He still believed Thor had yet to accept his sexuality.
"Her name is Sif," Thor answered, "she is an old school-friend. I hadn't seen her in years, but I bumped into her a few weeks ago and one thing led to another. I asked her out for a date because…"
"Because that's what a normal man would do," Loki concluded.
Thor arched one eyebrow. "A normal man?" He echoed.
Loki bit down on his tongue, carefully weighing his words when he spoke again. "Is she pretty?" He asked, hoping Thor would just forget his thoughtless remark. "Tell me about her."
"There is not much to say, really," Thor said. He shrugged and let out a heavy sigh. "I find her quite ordinary, but I suppose she is pretty. She has long black hair and blue eyes. She is a very independent woman and I know she isn't really looking for a long-term-relationship."
"The perfect opportunity then," Loki said. He wanted to knock himself on the head. He really should think before speaking, but sometimes he just wanted to rub reality into Thor's face. It couldn't be healthy for him to live in this fantasy and Loki felt genuinely bad for Sif. She had no idea what she was getting herself involved with.
"It's getting late," Thor announced suddenly. He stood and looked down at his prisoner. "I need to get ready for the date. I'll tell you all about it when I get back."
Loki only threw Thor a fake smile. "I can't wait."
"I've really had enough of your sarcasm, Loki," Thor said darkly, "you are lucky that I am in a good mood."
This time, Loki stayed quiet.
~ 0 ~
Day 365
~ 0 ~
Tonight – on a morbid sort of anniversary; one year of imprisonment - was the second night that Loki was forced to sleep in Thor's bed. The first time had been one hundred and sixty two days ago, but Loki could still remember every detail. He had come to believe Thor would never let him sleep in his bed again since he never mentioned it afterwards, but today Loki's dream was shattered.
He silently followed Thor into the bedroom and watched how he grabbed those very familiar cuffs. He knew what to expect. His right wrist would be tied to Thor's left one. It crushed every hope he had to attempt an escape. He faintly wondered if Sif had slept in this bed already since Thor had been dating her for over two months now which wasn't terribly long, but it was long enough. It surprised Loki it was still lasting actually. He would think someone would quickly understand Thor wasn't…normal.
When Thor put the cuff on him, Loki was drawn away from his thoughts. He felt nervous and his lips felt unnaturally dry. He doubted Thor would do anything, but he couldn't help but think about it anyway. He had been Thor's prisoner for a year now and not once had Thor touched him in any sexual manner. There were the quick, shallow kisses and stolen glances filled with lust, but other than that, Thor had always kept his hands to himself.
Yet a small voice in the back of his head told him it was only a matter of time. Thor kept telling him he loved him so naturally he thought about sex, right? Wouldn't that be logical? Then again, Thor wasn't logical – nor was he predictable - and Loki could never tell what that man thought. If it ever were to happen, Thor would probably think they were making love.
The thought made Loki feel nauseas.
As Thor lay down, Loki was forced to follow his example. Last time they slept without a blanket, but now autumn had arrived and it was getting colder every day. Loki was glad he could cover himself. He pulled the blanket all the way towards his chin while he wished he could just disappear. He hated this and he hated the fact that he could do nothing at all.
In his mind, he imagined pulling himself free from the cuff. He imagined running downstairs and onto the street. He could already hear himself scream for help in his head. He always wanted Thor to stop living in a fantasy world, but it was at times such as these that Loki believed in a fantasy as well. Did that mean he was losing his mind?
He decided he was only trying to survive mentally.
Minutes passed in silence and Loki anxiously waited for Thor to fall asleep. Only then would he feel more at ease. He knew he wouldn't get any sleep tonight, but at least he would not have to be…afraid. Thor's breathing never slowed down, however, so Loki closed his eyes and prayed. He never believed in God, but at times such as these, he felt the need to believe that he was not alone. He needed to put his faith into someone or something, and he needed to believe that there was a point to this all.
He needed to believe there was a God who wouldn't abandon him because everyone else had.
He felt Thor's cold hand touch the side of his neck first. His eyes instantly flew open, only to find his captor lying dangerously close. He swallowed heavily and leaned away as far as he could, because he refused to accept that this was happening, yet Thor merely continued to slide his fingers across his pale skin. Seconds passed and eventually, Thor retracted his hand.
Could that be it? For the shortest moment, Loki thought Thor would leave him alone now. He watched with fear in his eyes how Thor reached for the cuffs and freed himself before making sure Loki was firmly tied to the bed. Loki's movements were restricted once again while Thor had all the freedom.
"No," Loki said when Thor pressed his body against his, "don't do this."
Thor didn't react to his protests. He pushed Loki's long, raven hair out of his face and planted kisses alongside his cheek. One hand slipped underneath the covers and Loki tensed completely. He pulled at his right hand, desperately hoping he could break free, but the cuffs were too strong. With one hand, he tried to push Thor away, but his efforts were futile. Thor simply continued to kiss him while his hand pushed down their pajama-pants.
Again, Loki struggled. "No," he said, his voice still bearing strength, "no, get away from me!"
Thor silenced him by kissing him forcibly on the lips. Loki was disgusted when he heard Thor moan. This might not be the first time his captor was physically so close to him, but it was definitely the first time Loki felt driven into a corner. He couldn't move, but he refused to stop fighting. He refused to be broken.
With his free hand, he clawed at Thor's face and neck, but he barely managed to leave a scratch. Now he understood why Thor kept his nails so short. He clipped them every time he'd been allowed to take a shower which was every week now.
"Get off me!" He screamed. The moment he felt Thor's hardness pressing against his thigh, he fell silent. He couldn't believe this was actually happening. His mind was racing, but none of his thoughts were coherent. He was completely powerless and that frightened him more than anything. "Please," he begged now, "please, don't do this."
"Loki," Thor whispered into his ear. He kissed him gently before staring into his terrified green eyes. "My sweet prince, you are the one."
"No," Loki protested with newfound strength. He hit Thor in the face, but as he moved to do so again, Thor grabbed his hand and pushed it against the mattress. "I'm your prisoner, Thor! Your slave! I'm not your lover so don't do this. If you really love me, you don't want to hurt me, right?" Panic began to fill his voice, but at least Thor was staring at him with a hint of doubt. "Don't hurt me, Thor, please."
A moment passed where nothing happened and for the shortest second, Loki thought Thor would actually stop. His hopes were quickly crushed when Thor leaned down and kissed the edge of his jaw almost tenderly. He began to move underneath the covers and Loki could feel Thor's hardness rub against his bare stomach now. He felt sick, but he prayed he wouldn't throw up.
"It's okay," Thor assured him with a soft voice, "it won't hurt. Don't fight me, my love, and it won't hurt. I promise."
"Stop," Loki breathed, knowing exactly what would happen now, "just stop!"
Thor didn't listen of course. He was the stronger one and he had complete control over his prisoner. With one hand, he flipped Loki over, forcing him onto his stomach before quickly pinning him down again by using the weight of his body. There was no chance in hell anymore for Loki to fight since his right arm was twisted painfully because of the cuffs while Thor held down his left one.
"Thor," Loki said, entirely panicked. He had to try and end this madness. He could not give up his protests! He had to keep on fighting! "Thor, nothing has happened yet. You can still stop. Let's forget this ever happened. Let's just sleep, all right? Please, Thor, let's not- Argh!"
He cried out in agony when Thor entered him without any preparation and he was shocked to find that Thor pressed a hand against his lips, muffling his pained cries. He probably didn't want to hear those kinds of sounds because they shattered the illusion. Loki only cried out harder. His eyes stung with tears, but he refused to allow his tears freedom. He tried to focus on something else, but that was impossible. He could only think of the pain that burned throughout his body.
The tears began to stream down his face anyway.
"Shhh," Thor whispered, "it is all right."
Loki closed his eyes and bit down on his tongue. He was trying to adjust to the unwanted intrusion, but as soon as Thor began to move, he was once again overwhelmed with pain. He could feel Thor all around him, his blonde hair brushing over his face. Even worse, he could smell him. Loki wanted to claw at him. He wanted to pull that blonde hair out and scratch those eyes out. He wanted to do anything that would pain his captor.
His rapist.
Thor continued all the while keeping Loki down. When he finally came, he kissed Loki's back in a loving and tender manner. Loki could feel him smile against his skin, but what could he do about it? Exactly. Nothing. He was weak and pathetic, and he should not be crying.
He let out a sigh of relief when Thor rolled off of him, but he was still in pain. He wanted to move, lie on his side and curl into a little ball, but every muscle in his body screamed at him to lie still. The feeling of Thor's seed between his legs made his gag.
"You are perfect, my love," Thor whispered. He uncuffed Loki – who didn't even have energy to protest anymore - from the bed and put the cuff around his own wrist again. His hand trailed across Loki's exposed skin, caressing him.
Loki quickly rolled away until he nearly fell out of the bed, ignoring the protests of his body.
"Don't touch me," he hissed. It felt good to have at least a portion of his freedom back. "Don't ever touch me again!" He knew his threat was empty because Thor could do with him whatever he liked. Still, he felt the need to express his fury and disgust.
"Relax," Thor replied calmly. He looked baffled that Loki reacted so hostile towards him. "If it hurt, then it was entirely your fault."
Loki couldn't believe what he was hearing. He knew Thor was a crazy, delusional man, but this exceeded all of his expectations. His heart raced within his chest and his hands formed two fists.
"My fault?" He echoed, disbelief in his voice.
"I told you not to resist," Thor said accusingly, "I told you that if you didn't fight me, it wouldn't hurt, but you wouldn't listen. Next time, you'll listen." Before Loki could respond, before he could say how utterly insane all this was, Thor spoke again, softly this time. "Now sleep, my darling. You must be exhausted. Sleep and everything will be better in the morning."
Loki did not have a response to that. He wanted to scream his lungs out. He wanted to disappear from this world entirely. He wanted this madness to stop, but in the end he was simply glad Thor turned away from him and five minutes later, the deranged man had fallen asleep. Loki pictured hurting him now. He enjoyed the idea of getting hold of a knife somehow and stabbing his captor.
He began to cry silently. He tried to comprehend what had just happened, but he simply wanted to forget all about it. Even though he fought with everything he still had left, he felt himself falling asleep. He hoped that in the morning, he would finally wake from this nightmare, but he seriously doubted he would be that lucky.
AN: Please review!