Chapter Seven – No Doubts

He'd been afraid, poor man, to tell her that he loved her, because his entire culture had essentially outlawed powerful emotions, and rebel that he was, taking that final step would mean complete abandonment of the Gallifreyan way.

Or, maybe he just had cold feet, like any other bloke.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Rose preferred her first idea. He would have told her that he loved her when he'd said goodbye via hologram, if he hadn't run out of time. Earlier today, while snogging on the beach, he'd indirectly told her. And the other Doctor had apologized for not telling her, which meant he had the feelings, even if he'd never expressed them in words.

She picked up the blanket from the bed and began folding it, careful and methodical, not looking up. "I've told you that I'll stay for as long as you'll have me. You know that I... You know how I feel about you. But I know you're not human, and so... What I mean is, I don't expect anything from you."

"Rose, I do love you," the Doctor replied, all in a rush. She glanced at him and saw how hard it had been for him to get the words out, but she could also see relief in his dark eyes, along with a nervous expectation. "I know that humans generally require some kind of commitment, so if you want me to promise that you're the only woman in my life, then I will. Well, no..."

He hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck. "I say 'the only woman in my life', but what if we get someone on board the TARDIS who happens to be female? She'll be in my life, so that won't do. Of course, the only way to get around that would be to make sure that we never encounter any women. Considering that more than half of all humanoids are female, that'd be rather difficult, wouldn't it?"

The Doctor crossed his arms and started to pace in the small medical room, while the other Doctor rolled his eyes and Rose tried not to laugh. It didn't matter to her so much, not really, but she knew that he thought she wanted it, needed it, and so he'd do his best. Furthermore, he had to get it right in his own head before saying it, otherwise it wouldn't mean a thing. As he paced, he muttered to himself. Rose watched for a minute or two, then had a sudden thought.

"Doctor, if Gallifrey's gone, does that mean the Looms are gone, too?"

The tenth Doctor stopped pacing, but the ninth answered. "Destroyed. Along with everything Gallifrey and the Time Lords stood for. Most of it was rubbish anyway."

She nodded. "So... as the last of your species, doesn't that mean it's up to you to try and... repopulate the species?"

The ninth Doctor had a coughing fit while the tenth Doctor leaned against the counter. "Never thought of that. Suppose you're right, though." His brown eyes lit up with amusement. "Fancy being the mother of an entire civilization, Rose?"

"I might, yeah," she answered, surprising herself. She saw the convulsive swallow and the way his body tensed. She tilted her head to catch his gaze and added, "So long as this civilization is founded the old fashioned way."

He pushed away from the counter and stepped toward her, eyes locked on hers. "Oh. Yes. Well, I think that could be arranged. Might even be fun, that."

Not for the first time, Rose wondered what sort of differences there might be between their respective anatomies. She received the distinct impression that she would be finding out before the day's end. Had she ever seen that particular expression on the Doctor's face before? So dark and desperate, yet loving and gentle at the same time.

Standing before her, he cleared his throat, then spoke quietly. "Rose, I... Remember back when we first met? You trusted me, you took my hand and let me save you, and then you turned right around and saved me, instead. It was a time when I didn't exactly want to be saved." He glanced at his previous self, with a knowing expression. "And if it'd been anyone except you, I would've just gone and found another way to die, afterwards. But I didn't, because I'd already fallen for you. And I kept right on falling every time you looked at me and smiled. Just like that, that's right!" He grinned and pointed at Rose, who had started to smile at him.

"You healed me," he went on, "and then... then, I lost you. In the blink of an eye, you were gone; all of the Void stood between us and I was broken again. It seemed as though the Void had somehow gotten inside of me. I felt so empty, as though the most important part of my soul had vanished. For a long time, I barely existed. I still helped people, because that's what I do, but I didn't let myself care. When people died, it didn't concern me. When I had to face an enemy, I did it without compassion, without mercy. Because none of it really mattered. Now... now I have you again, and... I can feel all those bits of me coming back to life. You make me a better person, Rose. You keep me sane. And... I know that if I lose you again, I will die."

She reached out and touched the Doctor's face, surprised to find his cheeks damp. Gently, she wiped his tears away, her glance falling to the drops of crystal liquid on her fingertips. What did one do with a Time Lord's teardrops? More importantly, what did one do with a Time Lord's hearts? The rarest commodities in the universe, both of them. The Doctor had never been so candid with her before. She could read the truth of his words in his eyes, the way he looked at her with love and need and open desperation. Rose took a deep breath and let it out.

"I remember when we met," she said. "And I think maybe we saved each other, that night. You plucked me from my ordinary little life, you stole me away in your blue fairy-box, and you gave me... everything. Before, I had a roof over my head, food to eat, a steady job, family and friends who loved me, and yet I still felt alone and insignificant. Maybe some of that was Jimmy Stone's fault, or maybe it was my own fault for thinking that I needed a certain type of bloke to feel important."

Rose shook her head. "But then I met you and you showed me that even an uneducated shop girl could make a difference. That I was somebody, even with no A-levels and an ex-boyfriend in prison. Everything that was wrong in my life, you fixed. And d'you know why? Because what was missing—was you. And I didn't even know it until I had your hand in mine, just like this." She laced her fingers through his and held on tightly. She opened her mouth to say more, but found her throat had closed off with emotion. So, instead, she raised their interlocked hands and kissed his knuckles. Her tears fell onto their fingers, mingling with his.

"Nowthat was beautiful." The northern accent sounded unusually loud in the small room after all the emotional out-letting. He pushed off from the wall, where he'd been trying to give them space to express their feelings. Rose saw that his wide smile managed to express his happiness that the two of them had come to an arrangement, but it also held lingering grief that he'd just watched her give her love to another man. The other man would eventually be him, and that concept did help, but for the moment, it obviously still hurt.

It took only a couple of his long-legged strides to get to them. "Absolutely beautiful," he repeated, his smile turning into a grin. Only Rose noticed the slight edge to his voice and the tiny tremor at the corner of his mouth. He reached out and clapped them both on the shoulders. "I pronounce you... Time Lord and wife. Now, hurry up and kiss the bride, before I do it for you."

Rose knew that the Doctor only jested about them being married, but it still gave her a shiver and turned her skin to gooseflesh. She leaned forward for the obligatory kiss, only to find herself enveloped by one very possessive Time Lord. His lips found hers with bruising strength and she felt his hands smoothing away the bumps of her chill. She did love him, so very much. And yes, she'd made a life for herself on this world, Pete's World, as he'd called it, and she had family here, but none of that mattered. She had always been his, even through their separation, and now that he had her again, she wouldn't look back.

The sound of a throat clearing made the Doctor's hold on her lessen, and the other Doctor's voice interrupted the blissful haze that had fallen over them both. "Hate to interrupt, but don't I get a turn? Besides, someone's knocking on the door, and it's probably Jackie, in which case I am most assuredly not going to answer it."

Rose giggled and the tenth Doctor kissed her once more, then tapped her nose and turned away. "I'll go see to Jackie. Oh! I nearly forgot—I've got something for her. You two finish up in here whilst I go dig out my gift for the Tylers. Don't be long, though. Rose's family will want to see her before we leave."

He dashed off, and the ninth Doctor stepped up to Rose and automatically reached for her hand. "Is he always like this? So... Well, so..."

"Hyper?" Rose supplied. "Afraid so. You should see him after he's had a lot of sugar—so much worse! Give him a Curly Wurly, and he'll bounce off the walls for hours, talking non-stop. You haven't even noticed his oral fixation, have you?"

"Aside from the way he kisses you? Can't say that I have. Each body has a different set of senses, some are more attuned than others. This time around, my ears and nose are extra-sensitive. Guess next time it'll be my taste buds. Can't complain, if you're what they get to taste," he added with a twisted smile.

When he kissed her, it didn't seem that he had much of a disadvantage.

"Will I see you again?" she asked, her lips beginning to puff from all the attention they'd been getting.

"You might. I've run into my past selves on more than a few occasions. But it won't be the same," he cautioned. "Once I'm back in my own timeline, I'll have to wipe my memory of all this. Wouldn't do to be back with Jack and my Rose, knowing what I know now, would it? The timeline would be contaminated, and who knows what I might end up doing? Something like this, maybe..."

With that, he lifted her up, setting her on the edge of the exam table. She clung to him, relaxing once she felt the solid surface beneath her hips. He lowered his head, as though to kiss her, but hovered just a couple inches from her face, playful and seductive. She made a quiet sound of protest, and he grinned. As his lips teased her face, his fingers touched her everywhere else, exploring. They roamed up her spine, and she arched her back. They glided across her stomach, down her thighs, and for a moment, she hated her bathing suit, even if it turned out that he liked it after all. His fingers skimmed her collarbone, down to the swelling of her breasts, back up to her throat, and she could hardly breathe. Such a cold, alien touch, but it created such a burning heat inside her. She wished they didn't have to go back outside in just a few moments.

He laughed softly, as though hearing her thoughts. For all she knew, he had. His hand ran down her back once more, then he made a clicking sound with his tongue. "What's this? You've got a bit of sunburn, here."

"Oh, yeah. I'm still not used to this world's sunlight being so strong. Something about the breach caused the ozone layer to evaporate, see. Now there's all kinds of ultra-violet rays, melted ice caps, weird weather patterns, that sort of thing. The warmer temperatures are nice for taking winter holidays, but come summer... well, I won't have to face that again, will I?"

He met her smile with one that almost hid the yearning. When he let go of her, she started to protest, but stopped when she saw that he intended to treat her sunburn. It didn't take much, just a cold gel rubbed into the skin, which he did gently. The sting, which she hadn't consciously noticed, disappeared.

"You sure you're all right?"

"'Course. Burn's all gone, thanks to your doctoring. Y'know, I always suspected you were a real doctor somewhere under all that Time Lord bravado."

He looked almost insulted. "Doesn't take a physician to rub a bit of gel into your back, Rose."

"No? Too bad." Rose wiggled the tip of her tongue from between her teeth. "'Cause, you know, I always wanted to play 'doctor'..."

"Fantastic," he murmured.

(To Be Continued...)