Disclaimer: Kuroshitsuji and it's characters are obviously not mine. If it did, nobody would dare bully Grell, not even Sebastian. Sebastian, you'd die if you hurt Grell. And so do you, William.

"..." for speech

Italic for thoughts or to emphasize something (depends on the situation...)

Chapter 7: Grell – The Pain

Grell stared outside the window; where the rich red dispersed into beautiful landscape far at the horizon as he let out a sigh. He wondered how things had been going at the dispatch since he left. He knew that there was a high probability that no one would even missed him. William would probably be happy that Grell was not harassing and giving him overtime. Sebastian must be the same too, considering the way the demon was dreadfully annoyed with his antics. And not to mention the rest of the dispatch who might threw a huge feast just to celebrate his absence. Grell pulled his knee up to his chest and buried his face there; another sigh escaped him.

"Why do people always judge the bizarre one…?" He mumbled to himself sadly. "What was wrong with me being different? Why was I born this way? Am I a disgrace? A wrecked being that everyone despised? Can't they just love me for who I am?" He started to ramble; his voice rose a degree of anger and agony for each question.

"Why?" Grell was sobbing now, his hand came up to clutch his dark red shirt; trying to stop the unpleasant feeling of hurt in his chest.

"Why people—mortals or immortals—always judge others?"

"Was it wrong for me to wish for a loving husband and cute children?"

"It's not wrong at all, my dear…," the kind voice from the door caused Grell's head to snap up at the speaker.

Grell forced a smile upon his face. "Death…"

Undertaker faked a smile. It was so long since people called him with his given name; the name awarded to him when he was first created. Nobody knew that but Grell. He had trusted the younger reaper enough to allow the usage of his given name. Undertaker walked to the edge of the bed and sat there, arms open with silent invitation. Grell immediately scooted into his warmth and very soon the red-haired reaper had wetted Undertaker's shirt with tears. The mortician inwardly flinched. It hurt him to see the flambouyant reaper broke like this. Grell was so strong….amusing even, as he dared to bury him—the great legendary grim reaper—into salt just because of Undertaker comment on him. Seeing this broken being pained him so bad that he was willing to give up anything until he could see the brilliant lively grin back on the younger's face.

Grell wiped his tears away with his blanket, smearing his ruined make up all over the fabric as he forced a brighter smile. "You should have knocked, darling. It's very rude to interrupt a lady's private time. I could've been naked when you came in without warning like that~" He teased weakly, too overwhelmed with his emotion to act like he normally did.

"I wouldn't mind seeing you naked~" Undertaker decided to play along, his hand came up to playfully poke Grell's cheek. His other hand stroke the bandage on Grell's arm, trying to hide his wince at the thought of Grell was willing enough to harm himself using his own scythe just to divert his attention from his mental pain to a physical. It was critical moment when he found the red reaper at his door, insane grin on his face, his clothes covered in blood while his arm haphazardly destroyed—mangled flesh leaked out blood everywhere.

The stress had broken Grell thoroughly and sent him to insanity until Undertaker retrieved him back.

A more sincere smile appear on Grell's face. "Pervert." He stuck his tongue out to the elder.

"I'm just being honest with you and myself, my pretty lady," Undertaker grinned and lightly pinched the tip of Grell's nose; happy with the improvement.

Grell sighed at the reply and buried his face into Undertaker's chest. "How I wish everyone will accept me the way I am like you did, Death….," he sighed again. "Ironic isn't it? That death who took lives and happiness away himself is nicer than everyone else to care about me?"

Undertaker hummed to himself. "That is not true. There is another person who cared deeply about you"

"Senpai~! Let's have a drink together!"

"Why am I always have to get stuck in your ridiculous scheme….? Anyhow, since I'm going to get scolded anyway, let's piss big boss off~!"

"Take care, senpai. Don't listen to them, you're waaay stronger and smarter than them…Besides, no smart people only have black and white in their color dictionary. Hahahaha~!"

Grell smiled at the fleeting voice in his head; one of the few that actually gave him sweet memories and nice treatments.

"…..Ronald…."

A/n: XD I love Ronald. He's such a sweet dork. Anyhow, please read and review~!