7: Some Answers, More Questions

Progress

Jethro Gibbs was sitting up in bed, his back against the headboard, watching Tony sleep in the early morning light. His friend was far more relaxed and peaceful than he ever appeared when awake.

Gibbs reached out to lightly run his fingers through Tony's hair. The other man shifted in his sleep, and Gibbs drew back his hand, not wanting to wake him just yet. He wanted to think.

He knew he wasn't himself, hadn't been since this all started. It was disconcerting, realizing exactly how much this had affected him, how off-balance he felt. Seeing his friends rally around him, though, that had been both humbling and eye-opening.

There was no question in his mind that he'd been shutting people out since he'd lost Shannon. He'd known it, had chosen not to do anything about it, despite the pleas of his ex-wives. His reasons were many; some he understood better than others. The one foremost in his mind right now was the fact that he'd relied on two people in his life, two of the people closest to him, and he'd lost them both. First his mother, then Shannon. After that, he hadn't wanted to be so emotionally open to anyone else. It didn't seem worth the pain.

Slowly but surely, some of his friends made it past his walls and reluctance. Ducky, Abby, Tony… he could be more real with them than with anyone else. He wasn't surprised to see them stand by him through this strange, new part of his life. It meant a lot to him, especially what Tony had been willing to do, was still doing. He knew how often Tony was running interference, stepping in when his own confidence faltered. Just as he knew that Tony would keep it up, as long as it was needed.

If there was anyone in his life he knew he could count on to stick with him, no matter what, it was Tony. He knew Abby would do anything for him, that Ducky would always be there when he asked, that McGee was loyal beyond reproach, and that Ziva was rebuilding her own life to the point that her loyalty was no longer really in question. But it was Tony who could anticipate his needs better than anyone else, Tony who seemed to know him like Shannon had, Tony who…

Tony whom he could love like he'd loved her.

If he were honest with himself, he'd known that on some level for a while now, before this spirit had played around with his life and his sense of self. Maybe it was time to let that possibility take center stage. Greg had put many of his concerns to rest; he didn't really still think the spirit was somehow controlling his emotions. He was worried about what the shared dreams meant, concerned that the spirit had done something, planted something in his head that could put Tony in danger through this link they shared. There was that thing Greg had said, about the spirit…

"Hey."

Gibbs blinked and looked at Tony, who was lying on his back and looked up at him. "Hey yourself."

Tony stretched a bit, grimacing a little and reaching up to rub his neck. "Think I slept funny."

Gibbs scooted back down, propping his head on one hand and reaching out with the other to push Tony's hand out of the way and gently massage his neck.

"Oh… nice, Jethro."

Gibbs kept at it a little longer, then rested his hand on Tony's shoulder. "Better?"

"Yeah." Tony lay there, his face turned toward Gibbs, smiling.

Gibbs stared at him, then moved his hand to cup Tony's face, leaning in for a kiss.

Tony responded easily, humming into Gibbs' mouth. When Gibbs pulled back, Tony grinned at him. "You're a brave man, dealing with my morning breath."

Gibbs returned the smile. "I'm a Marine. I'm ready for anything." He pushed himself up, settling himself over Tony, one arm on either side, then lowered himself to rest on his forearms. His hands framed Tony's face. "Good morning."

"It certainly is now."

Gibbs resumed the kiss, anchoring his fingers in Tony's hair. Tony's arms went around him, one hand sliding over the back of his head while the other traced the muscles of his upper back.

Gibbs lost track of time. He let himself simply feel, and put up no resistance when Tony gently switched their positions, Gibbs ending up on his back while Tony lay over him, taking over for a while, kissing him deeply. Tony eventually pulled back, moving to kiss and nibble on Gibbs' neck. Gibbs closed his eyes and stretched his head back, giving Tony easier access, giving himself up to the pleasure.

Some time later, Tony raised his head from his exploration of Gibbs' mouth. Gibbs opened his eyes, meeting Tony's and smiling at the happiness he saw there.

"Wow," Tony said quietly, his fingertips stroking Gibbs' face.

"Yeah."

Tony moved back a bit, his head cocked to one side. "Something's changed."

"Ya think?"

Tony shot him a mock glare. "Seriously, Jethro… last night helped, didn't it?"

Gibbs nodded. "Yeah."

"You ever think life would be better through mysticism?"

Gibbs snorted and moved to sit up as Tony shifted over to give him room. "What do you think?"

"I'm guessing not."

"Got it in one." Gibbs took a deep breath and reached out to grip Tony's hand. "Been thinking."

Tony squeezed Gibbs' hand. "I'm thinking your thinking is a good thing."

Gibbs nodded. "Not worried that my emotions aren't my own, not anymore." The answering sparkle in Tony's eyes made Gibbs smile even as he wanted to kick himself for holding his friend at arm's length for so long. "And I trust yours."

Tony smiled, narrowing his eyes a bit. "But," he prompted.

Gibbs shook his head. "You know me too well." He moved his hand, lacing their fingers together. "But I'm still not sure what these dreams mean. What's causing them, if there's some sort of trigger…"

Tony nodded. "I get that. You wanna put this on hold until we get answers?"

Gibbs started into his eyes, then tugged gently on his hand until Tony leaned forward. He give him a long, lingering kiss. "No, not entirely. Still want to take it slow." He let go of Tony's hand lay back against the headboard. "Greg said the spirit affected you too. Don't want to put you at risk."

"You're not going to push me away for my own good, are you?"

"No." The word came out more forcefully than he'd intended.

Tony's eyes searched his, then he nodded. "Thank you."

Gibbs inclined his head, then looked around the room. "What time is it?"

"Plenty of time to shower and hit the diner for breakfast before meeting Abby and Greg back at the house."

Gibbs waved his hand toward the bathroom. "Go on. I'll do some more thinking."

Tony grinned widely. "I'm all for that." He scrambled out of bed and headed for the bathroom while Gibbs let his head fall back against the board and considered what to do next.

Concerns

They were hanging out in the basement when Abby and Greg arrived.

"Gibbs!"

"Down here, Abs."

Abby led the way, with Greg following close behind. She flung herself at Gibbs, enveloping him in a hug, then launched herself at Tony to give him the same treatment. Greg approached Gibbs, who raised an eyebrow. Greg grinned. "Abby and I have lots in common, but not that." He reached out to shake Gibbs' hand. He approached Tony and greeted him in similar fashion as soon as Abby let go.

Tony smiled at Greg, who looked much the same minus the tie. Greg returned the smile and said something that Tony didn't quite catch; he was too busy cataloguing the subtle physical tells that told him Greg was much more tense than he'd been the night before.

Abby turned to Gibbs, then glanced between him and Tony. "Something's different."

"I was going to say the same thing," Tony replied, looking at Greg as he spoke.

Greg shot him a wry smile. "You're awfully observant.

Tony grinned. "That's why they pay me the big bucks."

Gibbs glanced at Tony, but Abby grabbed his attention before he could follow up. "You seem a lot more relaxed," she said, looking at him hopefully.

Gibbs nodded. "Last night helped."

Abby pumped her fist in the air. "Yes!" She pulled Gibbs into another hug. "I am so proud of you for being so open minded!"

"Not like I had much choice, Abby… I couldn't really pretend I wasn't a fox."

"Still. You're the best." She turned to Greg, beaming at him.

He nodded to Gibbs. "I'm glad I could help."

"There's more, isn't there?" Tony interjected.

Greg nodded. "Ah… perhaps we might want to go upstairs and sit down?"

Tony's eyes met Gibbs'. He saw a flash of doubt in the blue eyes, but Gibbs covered quickly, waving Abby and Greg forward, reaching out to squeeze Tony's hand as he followed them.

Tony brought up the rear as they all walked into the living room. They took the same seats they'd had the night before, except now Abby sat at the end of the couch nearest Greg's chair.

"So," Tony asked, "what have you come up with?"

Greg cleared his throat and sat forward. "I called my great-uncle last night… some of what you told me didn't quite fit what I'd expected, and I wanted his take on things."

He fell silent; Abby reached out to pat his arm while Tony and Gibbs exchanged a quick glance.

Greg shook himself a bit, then frowned. "Sorry… this is new, and I'm trying to figure out how to explain it."

Tony sat forward. "What do you mean, new?"

"My uncle doesn't think we're dealing with the sort of spirit we originally thought. It all seemed to fit, from what Abby had told me, but what you guys said about the dreams, and especially you, Tony, about the spirit sifting through your memories… well, I thought that was strange at the time, but I didn't realize how strange until I talked with him again."

Gibbs didn't say anything, but Tony noticed how he tensed up.

"That's not something the spirit would do?"

Greg shook his head. "There's nothing like that in any of the lore. Being turned into a fox, sure, wanting to get back home… but the rest is, well, strange."

"So what does that mean?"

"I'm not sure. These spirits… they aren't spirits of the trees, not exactly, otherwise the spirit would be gone when the tree was cut down. That's not the issue, though. There are several things… the shared dreams… it's unusual for anyone who's not a shaman to experience dreams like that, let alone share them. The way the tree grew from a seedling overnight – the spirit shouldn't have been able to do that."

"If it's not a tree spirit, what is it?"

Greg shook his head. "I'm not sure. It's something new, and we haven't seen anything new like this in generations. My uncle… he thinks maybe it's something that's been hidden since Koluscap defeated the monsters."

"So Gibbs was turned into a fox by a monster? How's that different from a spirit? And does that mean…" Tony let his voice trail off. He didn't really want to bring Gibbs' doubts back. Gibbs turned to look at him, then reached out and took Tony's hand.

Greg stared at their hands for a moment, then glanced at Abby, who'd also noticed and was smiling widely at them. "This could change things."

Abby turned to look at him. "What are you talking about?"

Greg gestured toward their joined hands. "I didn't realize… the connection you guys share might play into this in a way I wasn't taking into account."

Tony frowned. "This is… new. It didn't start up until after Gibbs was back to being human."

Greg's brow furrowed. "I honestly don't know if that makes a difference. Abby told me you've been close for a long time?"

Gibbs nodded. "Not like this. Tony's right – we're just starting out."

Tony gripped Gibbs' hand tighter. "I'm still sort of stuck on the monster… are you saying that it could have read our emotions, seen something in our relationship that we hadn't worked out yet?"

Greg shrugged. "I have no idea. The monsters were supposed to be gone. But honestly, I don't know if it's that or something else, a type of spirit we haven't encountered before."

Gibbs sat back. "So we're back to square one?"

Greg shook his head. "No, not exactly."

Abby bit her lip. "What if we look at it from another angle? What about the dreams? Is it weird that Gibbs is a fox in the dreams sometimes?"

Greg sighed. "A shaman is believed to have an animal form, one we can transform into. I've never seen it happen, but there are old stories that describe it. It's certainly never happened to me." His expression turned a bit wistful. "My great-uncle has had many dreams in which he was a bear… never anything else. And I've dreamt of being a hawk." He looked up at both men. "Those dreams are always incredibly vivid. But how all this relates to the two of you… I haven't a clue."

Gibbs let out a frustrated sigh. Tony glanced at him, then back at Greg. "So what's next?"

Greg sat up straighter. "I need to investigate this. Like I said, it's new… my uncle thinks it's something I need to do, to find out how this might affect the people." He met Gibbs' eyes. "I know this is probably not what you really want to do, but I think it's important for you to come with me." He looked at Tony. "Both of you."

The room fell uncomfortably silent.

"Look," Greg said, "I wouldn't ask if I didn't think it could really help. Not just my people, but you personally. I'm thinking that through you I might be able to communicate with it, get you the answers you need… what the dreams really mean, what consequences all this might have for your relationship."

Gibbs shot the shaman a skeptical look. "Why do I feel like that's just a bit convenient?"

Greg's eyes widened; Abby beat him to the protest. "Gibbs, I've known Greg for a long time – he wouldn't suggest this if he didn't honestly think it would help you."

Gibbs sat back and rested his head on the back of the couch. "Gonna be rough conditions up there."

Greg nodded. "I'm an experienced winter hiker."

Gibbs abruptly rose to his feet, dropping Tony's hand. "Gonna go think." He strode out of the room, heading for the basement.

Abby watched him go, then turned to look at Tony. "Go with him, Abby." She nodded and took off after him.

Tony sat back and looked at Greg, who returned his gaze. "You still think the spirit, monster, whatever can't affect him from there?"

Greg nodded. "There's nothing in any of the stories and legends that suggest it would have such power. I can't guarantee it, but my uncle agrees with me."

"What are the possibilities with these dreams?"

Greg's hands waved aimlessly. "I don't know. I don't know if the spirit simply linked the two of you together in a way that allows you to share them. I don't know if it means something more, like a shaman's dream… for all I know somehow there's a key to actual transformation somewhere in there."

Tony's eyes widened. "You mean Gibbs could voluntarily become the fox again?"

"Maybe? I don't know."

Tony cleared his throat. "We haven't gotten into the dreams in a whole lot of detail… but maybe you should know what sometimes I'm a fox too."

Greg moved his hand up to his face, running his fingers along his jaw. "Wow… do you transform in the dreams?"

Tony nodded. "We're always up on the mountain when that happens. We hike, we both choose to be foxes and run together."

Greg's face lit up. "That might mean you could become a fox too, even if the spirit never turned you into one."

"That's just… weird. And I have no idea if it makes things any better."

Greg sat forward. "I know, and I'm sorry. I wish I had more answers. Um… do you think he'll be willing to go?"

Tony shrugged. "I don't know. It wouldn't be easy for him. He wasn't comfortable up there, not after he went back to being human." He gave Greg a long, searching look. "If we do go back there, and something happens to him…"

Greg stared back. "Understood." He tilted his head a bit. "You'll go too, if he does?"

Tony gave him a small smile. "Where he goes, I go." His eyes narrowed. "Just tell me one thing… you really believe this will help resolve what's going on? This isn't just so you can discover the secret of flight, is it?"

Greg shook his head. "I wouldn't ask if I didn't think it would help. I could get directions to the tree from you, go on my own… and I would, if I believed whatever we're dealing with wanted to harm either of you in any way."

Tony nodded. "All right. If Gibbs wants to go, I won't object."

They sat there, making small talk, until Gibbs and Abby reappeared. Abby had her arm around Gibbs' waist and, his arm was around her shoulders. Gibbs looked at Tony, who returned his gaze. Gibbs nodded, then looked at Greg. "We'll go, as long as we can talk our boss into it."

Greg exhaled loudly. "Thanks for believing Abby when she tells you I'm one of the good guys."

Gibbs' lips twitched. "She did have to do some convincing."

Abby leaned her head on Gibbs' shoulder. "I just want you to be able to move on from all this. I want you and Tony happy, and everything back to the way it's supposed to be."

"I know, Abs." Gibbs turned his head to drop a kiss on her hair. He looked over at Tony again, their eyes meeting for a long moment before he repeated, "I know."

Author's note: Everything Greg suggests in this chapter is out of my imagination, except for the belief that a shaman can transform into an animal. That idea is in several of the sources listed at the end of chapter 6.