I couldn't decide whether to write this from Jess' or Rory's point of view, that's why this chapter is jumping a bit back and forth between the two.

Anger Management – Chapter 7

Jess

How the hell did I end up here – in the elevator with Rory's eager body pressing against mine? Her lips, soft and wanting on my neck, my lips, my jaw, everywhere. She was supposed to be hot and bothered, wanting, lusting – and I was supposed to leave; cool and unaffected. Where did it go wrong?

You can still tell her to leave, my subconscious tries to make his voice heard but the blood pulsating through my veins effectively drowns him out.

Leaning my head back, I hear myself moan as Rory's lips explore my neck. Were they always this soft? And what happened to that shy little girl I used to date? The girl that couldn't talk about sex without blushing?

I take her face in my hands and guide those amazing lips back to mine. Just one more kiss, then I'll tell her to leave.

I have no idea how much time has passed, but when the elevator dings, signaling we've reached my floor, I'm still kissing her. Hesitating and with a feeling of loss I think I see reflected in her eyes as well, our lips part.

Simultaneously, we clear our throats and I smirk as Rory's eyes turns towards the floor and she blushes slightly as she straightens her dress out.

There's something about that blush. Something that always makes me want to see more of it, see how much deeper it can get. I take a deep breath. This is it. Goodnight – you want me to call you a cab?

I walk out of the elevator and just as I open my mouth to speak – she beats me to it. "Jess?"

She bites her lip and once again straightens out non-existing wrinkles on her dress. "What are we doing?"

I know where she's getting at, but that's not something I'd rather discuss right now – or ever. "Having dinner" I smirk. "Kissing" She smiles as well and I shrug. "Catching up"

Slowly and all while wringing her hands in front of her, Rory steps out of the elevator as well. She walks a few steps towards me before she stops, takes a deep breath and when she looks up at me, I see the determination in her eyes and I can't help but smile. I'm sensing there's a patented Rory Gilmore-ramble on the way.

I only like her rambles because that means she's nervous, I try to justify my smile to myself. Both my heart and my subconscious are sending me disbelieving looks – well, at least they're agreeing on something.

"I don't know what kind of games you're playing, Jess" She starts and I have to admit I am a little bit surprised that she has the courage to address what's bothering her in such an upfront manner. The old Rory would never have done that; she would have rambled on about other things before maybe, eventually getting to the point.

Somehow I feel robbed. Where's the incoherent ramble I deserved?

She takes the time to sigh deeply before she continues. "One minute you have me believing you feel the same things I do…" So, she feels something. I try to hide my smirk. "…and the next you're as cold as ice"

She shakes her head as she continues. "And I'm confused. What do you want, Jess?"

Before I have a chance to answer – not that I had intended to – she continues. "I can't play the same games we did as teenagers. I'm past that. I want something more"

More. That one word that has led to the termination of most of my contracts. I can't give more. To anyone.

"I don't know" She throws her hands out in a resigned gesture. "I guess I just want to know if we can move past everything that has happened in the past. If there's a chance for a future for us"

I'm guessing, by the look on her face, that my expression says it all. Does she really think that I can forget and forgive The Betrayal?

Her face falls and she takes a small step closer. "Did I hurt you that bad, Jess?"

I don't answer, simply because I don't know what to say. Yes, she did – but I don't want her to know that. My subconscious and my heart are both awkwardly silent, as if neither of them wants to get their hands involved in that discussion. Traitors.

"I thought…" Her voice sounds muffled and I want to turn around, unlock the door, run inside and slam it shut behind me. But I stand rooted to the spot.

She shakes her head. "I'm so sorry Jess. I never wanted…" She sighs. "I just…" She cuts herself of yet again and there are tears gleaming in her eyes.

Come on, my heart finally speaks up. Give her a break.

Still unable to say anything I do the only thing I can think of right now to make her stop talking. I launch myself forward and press my lips against hers once again.

Anger Management – Chapter 7

Rory

I'm momentarily taken aback when Jess literally throws himself at me and kisses me. Even though I know he's doing it because he doesn't want to talk, I can't not kiss him back. It's like a force of nature; when Jess Mariano kisses you – you kiss him back.

Back when we dated, he did this very same thing every time a subject he didn't want to talk about came up; he distracted me with those sweet, sweet lips. I know I should push this subject; we really need to talk about where we've been and where we're going. But just like back then, his kisses are intoxicating and I can't stop. Really, it's a wonder we have ever talked at all.

Without his lips leaving mine even for a second, he pushes me back until my back hits the door to his apartment. His hands are roaming all over my body and I feel a little dizzy by the overwhelming feelings his touches stirs up. It feels so different from the tentative touches I remember. Back then, they were light and there was always a hint of questioning with every inch they discovered. These touches have nothing of that – they are determined, confident and oh, so hot!

I can literally feel my legs weaken as Jess' lips explore their way down my neck and if it weren't for his strong hold around my waist I would most probably fall to the floor and form a puddle of want and desire.

I've never experienced a feeling like this ever before, where everything, every conscious thought, is overshadowed by the want – no, the need – to feel more of him.

When Jess pulls back just about an inch to find the right key to unlock the door and let us in, I rest my head against his chest and try to gain control over my erratic breathing.

Without his lips against any part of my body it's easier to think clear. Still not as easy as it would have been had he not been standing only an inch away, but still…easier.

I don't know what I was thinking when I said yes to his invitation for a drink at his place. On a conscious level I told myself that a drink in a private setting was the perfect opportunity to discuss the giant elephant in the room; our past. But I have to admit, the tingling feeling in my stomach and further south, surely didn't originate from the thought of talking.

This is so unlike me. I've never considered myself as a sexual person. I never thought that part of a relationship would ever feel very important to me. The no-strings-attached thing I had with Logan in the beginning was supposed to be all about sex, but that doesn't even begin to compare with this pressing need and want.

Just go with it, my heart whispers in a soothing voice. It's Jess. It's you and Jess. It'll be alright. That's all the confirmation I need to follow Jess into the apartment and pick up just where we left off outside the door.

When I place my arms around his neck and find his lips again, a deep guttural groan escapes him and he pushes me back up against a wall. His hips press against me and I can feel he wants me just as badly as I want him. The sheer knowledge ignites yet another flame inside me.

I don't know how long we stand there, pressed against the wall with our lips rediscovering the taste of each other. It feels as if we've been doing this forever and not long enough at the same time. I can't get enough. I wish I had another set of lips, because I can't decide which part of him tastes the best.

We part for long enough for Jess to pull his shirt over his head and before the discarded garment hits the floor, my hands and lips are all over his chest. I've never seen it bared like this before. It looks amazing.

There have been touches before, hands sneaking up under shirts and feeling the chiseled muscles on his chest and stomach – but nothing like this. Not out in the open with no boundaries that needs to be respected.

I hear him moan my name as he brings my face back up to his again and the undeniable want that taints his voice is probably the sexiest sound I've ever heard. How can a simple name sound so sexy?

As a response to an encouraging tug from Jess' hands against my thighs, I wrap my legs around his waist, a little surprised at my own boldness, but as the move presses him closer to me I can't bring myself to feel ashamed or shy about it. It's like I've left Rory Gilmore somewhere in the elevator or the hallway and turned into this carnal being with the one objective to be as close to the man in front of me as physically possible in mind.

With his arms and hands supporting my weight under my thighs and behind he moves us away from the wall and carries me towards what I'm assuming is his bedroom. As he walk it flitters through my mind that this is the part in a movie, where the scene would fade to black and leave it to the audience's imagination to figure out what was happening in the dark.

But this isn't a movie and as we reach his bedroom, Jess sets me down next to his bed and reaches to his side to turn on his bed-side lamp.

Something in his demeanor has changed, the feverish urgency with which he kissed me and pressed my body against his when he carried me is gone and he takes a step back to let his eyes wander over my body.

His intense gaze feels like fire on my skin and even though I'm still fully clothed I feel exposed and naked under his scrutiny. "Jess…" I begin, but he places a finger across my lips and smirks in a way that makes my heart race and my knees turn to jelly. It's not fair that he can manage to do that with only a smirk.

"We have no hurry" He whispers in a raspy voice and I nod against his finger, not sure I'm able to form any coherent words at the moment.

Carefully, almost reverential, he moves his hands to remove the shoulder straps of my dress and bra before he leans forward to place soft, sweet kisses at my now naked shoulders one at a time.

Oh, God. The touch of his lips are so light and tender I feel like I'm about to burst with anticipation.

When he pulls the dress down, his lips slowly follow it, shooting delightful shivers through my body everywhere they touch. Oh, God. I close my eyes and lean my head back. I've never felt comfortable being naked in front of anyone. I'm always so self-aware, embarrassed and concerned about how I look – but now…I can't focus on any of those things. I can't focus on anything but the feeling of his warm lips against my skin.

Jess' kisses reach my hips and my breath hitches in my throat. He places a series of short, light kisses along the line of my panties and I'm not sure, but I think I let out some sort of incoherent sound.

He drops the dress from his hold and lets it fall to the floor. There's a tingling ache between my thighs and I wish I had the guts to push my hips forward and show him how badly I want him to touch me and sooth the aching need. But with the slowing of pace, Rory Gilmore seems to have found her way back from the hallway where I left her and I stand still, holding my breath.

I gasp loudly and feel like I might fall over when Jess places a feather light kiss on my panties before I assume my breathless waiting. But he leaves it at that and I want to cry out in frustration as I feel his hands sliding up my waist again.

"Open your eyes" He whispers and when I do, he's standing upright, his face only inches away from mine. "We have all night" He smirks and I feel my cheeks heating. I didn't really push my hips forward, did I?

He reaches behind my back and unclasps my bra before he slowly pulls it off. How does he keep his calm? How is his every move slow and deliberate? It takes everything I have not to throw myself at him and pick up the frenzied, feverish pace from before.

Stepping closer, he carefully pushes me back until the back of my knees hit the bed and he lowers me on to it. Oh, God. This is really happening. I feel his weight on me as he follows me onto the bed.

His lips find mine for a short moment before he ventures down towards my breasts. I'm assuming he feels something similar to what I felt when I first saw his naked chest. I hope he won't be disappointed.

The worry flies out of my head a second later when Jess' mouth has reached my breasts. Shit! If I thought the tingling feeling when he kissed my hips was bad – it got nothing on this!

Anger Management – Chapter 7

Jess

I flick my tongue over her nipple and the moan I'm rewarded with almost sends me over the edge. Fuck! I have to take a deep breath to remind myself that this is the one time I'll ever have Rory Gilmore naked before me; I have to prolong it, enjoy it to the fullest.

Yeah, the one time. That's the deal I made when the bickering between my subconscious and my heart grew too loud. This is for the teenage boy inside me; the one that never got past second base and couldn't stop dreaming about what it would be like if she'd let him go all the way.

I slowly move to her other breast and let my lips, tongue and teeth taste her delicious skin while I let my hand and fingers take my mouth's place at the breast I just left. Her soft moans are like music to my ears and I'm not sure I can hold out much longer.

All while dropping kisses along the way I move towards her panties and I smirk as I hear her moans turn into whimpers when I place a set of soft kisses on her thighs along the line of her panties.

I let a finger slide in under her panties. She's so wet. So ready for me. Oh sweet God. I force a deep breath into my lungs. She stirs and presses herself against my finger.

"Be still" I command and am taken a bit by surprise at the sound of my voice. So hoarse. So completely affected by her naked presence in my bed.

With some help from a very compliant Rory, I pull her panties off and lean down to taste her.

I don't know which is better; her delicious taste or the sounds she's making as I'm enjoying her taste.

"Jess" She moans my name and I decide that that's definitely what's best. No arguing about it. It's been so long since someone moaned my name… Oddly enough, the thought of punishing her for it, the way I usually would, doesn't even cross my mind.

I blink a few times at the light flowing in through the big windows in my bedroom before I open my eyes. The first thing I see is Rory, sleeping next to me with her head leaning against my chest and her arm thrown across my stomach. My left arm is wrapped around her upper body, holding her close. My heart warms at the sight.

I glance over at the alarm clock next to the bed; it's still morning so I doubt I've slept very long. When we finally fell asleep; exhausted, sweaty and in each other's arms, dawn had already begun breaking.

What happened last night completely caught me off guard. I never expected I would fail at the little game I had planned. But somehow, it doesn't feel like I've failed; it feels like I've won the fucking lottery.

Last night I fucked Rory Gilmore – something I've wanted to do for the last ten years or so. I can't feel disappointed when that's what my failure led to. No matter how badly I wanted to punish her, I can't deny that I wanted to fuck her even more.

I pinch my eyes shut and sigh. No. It doesn't matter what I try to tell myself: we didn't fuck last night – we made love.

We made fucking love. I don't make love. Not anymore. Not ever if I'm to be completely honest.

But it felt amazing. I can't deny that no matter how much I want it. I never knew sex could feel that good – and believe me, I've had a lot of sex. Good sex to that as well. But this was different. Completely different.

Fuck!

I should have listened to my subconscious and told her to leave while I still had the chance. Now it's too late. Now I know what she feels like, what she tastes like, and I don't ever want her to leave.

Fuck! My heart starts racing in my chest.

What if she'll leave again? I repress the sudden urge to tighten my embrace around her. That won't stop her from leaving. No. She'll feed me another lie and then she'll be gone. Just like before.

She'll be gone and I'll be alone. Just like before.

I move my head closer to her head and inhale a deep breath of her scent. I've missed that scent. Oh God, how I've missed that scent.

For the longest time, I lie like that, reveling in her presence. I know it won't last long. As soon as she wakes up, she'll leave. I know she will. She always does.

I feel like I've been thrown back in time to that moment right before she left. Before she told me about him. Before she lied. I remember the happy, giddy feelings inside when I thought she'd come to stay. I remember how they all turned into utter despair when she left – magnified a thousand times due to the happiness they sprung from.

This time, I know what's coming and I will be prepared. I will savor every moment and imprint it in my mind and when she wakes up I will listen to her lies and I will let her go.

I take a deep breath and pinch my eyes shut. I hope she never wakes up.

Look what you've done! My subconscious suddenly screams out, pointing an accusing finger in the direction of my heart. Yesterday he was king of the fucking world; confident and in control. Today he's a mess, all because he listened to you! He turns to me with a posture resembling that of some sort of a military officer. You! He commands. Get a grip! Regain control before she finds out you've lost it.

I open my eyes again. Yes. Thank you. That's what I have to do.

Guided by my subconscious who has stepped in and demanded control, I disentangle myself from Rory and climb out of bed, careful not to wake her, and get started on forming a plan to regain control over the situation.

Sitting in my home office, I already feel more in control. It's easier when she is not lying next to me with nothing but a thin, white sheet covering her delicious body.

Mistake number one was underestimating the power she still holds over me. I hate that. I hate that her presence clouds my judgment and makes me feel like a horny, needy teenager all over again.

Mistake number two was giving into that tiny little voice telling me I could have just one, small little taste of her before I sent her out of my life forever. Around her I'm like an addict; one taste will never be enough.

And now I'm hooked again. Fuck! I slam my fist against the desk. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! All this work I've done, everything I've become to distance myself from the pathetic, broken shadow I became when she left – it took her less than a day to tear that down.

No. I shake my head. I can't let this destroy everything. I can't let her destroy everything. Not again. This time around – I'm stronger than that. This time around, I won't buy in to her lies like a love-sick little puppy.

Maybe…A thought enters my mind.

No. I shake my head again. She would never agree to that. Ever. Besides, I have no desire to let her know just how twisted I've become since she broke me.

I'm not ashamed of the way I've chosen to lead my life. But with her…

Isn't that what you've always wanted? My subconscious screams at me, gesturing wildly with his arms in the air.

Is it?

"I think you're projecting your anger" Suddenly, I'm back at the charlatan's office and I can see myself staring at him, making sure my eyes display exactly what I think of his ridiculous theories. The charlatan doesn't divert his eyes.

No. I get out of my chair and start pacing the room. No. He's fucking insane. I've stated that already. There's not an ounce of reality to his insane theories.

It is Rory I want to punish. No one else. I want Rory Gilmore on her knees, eager to please. To please me.

I want Rory Gilmore tied up and begging for me to touch her. Me. No one else. Only me.

I want Rory Gilmore finally realizing the mistake she did all those years ago and willing me to punish her for the pain she caused.

That's what I want. That's why this lifestyle appeals to me.

Filled with a new-found energy, I sit down at my desk again and start up my computer. Yes. That's what I want, and now I will finally make that happen. And it will be better than any fantasy I've ever had…

A/N: Okay, I just have to say – I've never actually written a sex scene before and am feeling a tiny bit anxious about what you will think of it. Please…whether it's bad or good – let me know!

Because they made love and not fucked the way Jess has gotten used to over the years, I thought the sex scene (or at least the beginning of it) and their thoughts during it needed to be written rather than the fade to black Rory mentioned.