Chapter Nine: On The Same Boat
With Elsinore destroyed and Gertrude and Claudius dead Romeo decided it would be best to leave Denmark as soon as possible. We were now on a luxury cruise liner heading for New York. Romeo and I spent the days of the cruise making love, hot, sweaty, passionate love. He told me I was much better than that slutty whore Juliet; god I hated that evil bitch. On the third day of the cruise I decided that the sex had gotten rather boring so I decided to venture out of our cabin to see the rest of the ship. Romeo was fast asleep as I had slipped some sleeping pills into his coffee; all he ever wanted to do was make love not that I could blame him I was a grade A hottie. I walked down the deck of the ship until I came to the bar; I ordered a glass of chardonnay from a hunky bar tender who had been eyeing my cleavage "you like what you see?" I asked raising an eyebrow. "Yes, your breasts are rather stunning" he replied. "They didn't come cheap at $20, 0000 each" I told him. Suddenly there was a loud bang followed by the sound of screaming. Thick black smoke rose from the upper deck of the ship. I ran towards it the sound of screaming getting louder as I got closer. People were beginning to crowd around a large woman clothed entirely in red, she looked like a tomato. "What's going on?" I asked a sinister looking man who was wearing a top hat, cape and sporting a curling black moustache. He looked at me; twisted his moustache around his white gloved finger and cackled maniacally. "I wish I could say that I had caused this mayhem myself but alas I have not. This woman's problem is all her doing. This reminds me of the time I tied a young blonde ingénue to the railway tracks. She was the only on in the way of me inheriting her families entire fortune sadly I thwarted by a handsome young man" he told me. I quickly walked away from the man to ask someone who was less insane; this was easier said than done everyone in the crowd look just as crazy as the moustache guy so I just decided to ask tomato lady herself. "Hey you lady what the hell's going on?" she turned and look at me; now that I could see her face I was suddenly filled with fear, it was….Amalthea. "What's going?" she said "you want to know what's going on. Well let's see you killed my husband and now I have killed yours" she moved aside to reveal a smoking hole in the deck of the ship. "You see this hole? Below this hole is your cabin and now everything in your cabin including your Romeo is incinerated" she that started to laugh. I just stared blackly at her, she seemed confused. "Why aren't you devastated you hubby is dead?" she asked. "Because that's not my cabin; mine is at the other side of the ship which means you just incinerated someone else's cabin" she looked puzzled. "Whose cabin was this then?" she asked worriedly. Just then a nun pushed her way through the crowd to see what was happening "What in good heaven is this commotion" asked the nun. She looked down through the hole "Holy shit you just killed the orphans and their new puppies. You evil bitch!" screamed the nun. "I'm so sorry. I thought it was her husband's cabin" said Amalthea pointing a finger at me. Just then a rich looking man and woman pushed their way through the crowd "Is everything alright mother superior?" asked the gentleman. "I am afraid not Mr Roosevelt. This horrible woman incinerated the orphans, you can't adopt little Timmy now and he was really looking forwards to those new legs you were going to buy for him" said the nun. When the crowd found out what had happened the decided that the best solution was to throw Amalthea overboard, I'm sure the ocean could handle one more whale.
Back in our cabin Romeo was still asleep from the drugs so I gave him a swift and hard slap across the face. "What the hell Ariadne?" he asked. "Sorry my love by we need to leave Amalthea was hear and too many people now know too much. I fear they may know about what we did to Juliet" I told him. "Oh no we must go immediately but how? We are In the middle of the ocean" he said. I sat there on thebe trying to think of a way out of this. Then it hit me "I know we'll sink all the lifeboats but one and then sink the ship itself that was all the witnesses will be dead and we can escape to New York on the last life boat" this was my best plan yet. "Great plan Ariadne" he kissed me passionately on the lips "but how will we sink a cruise liner" he asked. "I'll go get my semtex, you go and sink all the lifeboats" he kissed me again. "I love you Ariadne" he said "yeah me too" I replied. "Please Ariadne let's make love before we do this" and so he began to remove my clothing. Once we were naked he inserted his penis into my vagina and we had intercourse it was mildly pleasurable. After about three minutes of thrusting and writhing he reached orgasm I however did not so as usual I faked it. It was the best sex yet. Much less awkward that the time in the bath at Elsinore.
After the three passionate minutes we went to work with our task of sinking the ship. I decided the best place for the explosives was the cargo bay and the engine room. Slipping it into the cargo bay was the easy part but when I got to the engine room I found that it was full of hot sweaty men who I would have to dispose of first. I took the Tommy gun I kept for special occasions out of my Gucci handbag and started to fire on the men they all stated to dance around as the bodies were riddled with bullets. What a sight it must have been seeing me stood there in an elegant red cocktail dress and white mink stole, Gucci handbag hanging from my shoulder. At least these men were getting a treat before they died. I'm sure a few of them probably died with angel lust, the thought amused. When they were all dead and the room was clear I started to set up the explosives it took me about twenty minutes to set it all up. When I had finished I stood and admired my hard work for a second and let out a loud sigh of relief that the task was over. I then went back up to the deck to see how Romeo was getting on. He was sat in the last lifeboat with all our luggage when I arrived "quick get in my love" he said to me. I climbed into the lifeboat Romeo offered a hand to help me "Oh this is the perfect night for some fireworks" I said we bot chuckled at this. Romeo began to slowly lower the lifeboat. The sound of the passengers enjoying themselves at some party in the ships saloon drifted on the cold air; at least they were all enjoying themselves before there untimely deaths. The lifeboat was nearly on the water when a voice from above said "what are you doing get the hell back up here!" it was the captain of the ship. He began to reel the lifeboat back up toward the deck. "What shall we do?" asked Romeo, I ignored him and fumbled around in my purse "ah ha" I said taking a revolver from it. I aimed the revolver at the captain's head; I pulled the trigger; a shot rang out. I had shot the captain point black between the eyes; he fell backwards dead as that slutty cheerleader I buried beneath the bleachers that cold December morning.
We had gotten the lifeboat in the water without any further problems and we had sailed far enough away to not be affected by the sinking of the ship. I picked up the detonator for the explosives and Romeo poured two flutes of exquisite chilled Champagne "a toast to the good ship Survivor" Romeo said. As we raised our glasses I pressed the button of the detonator. We both watched as the ship's hull was ripped apart by the explosion; then came the screams of the doomed passengers. "Ah what a romantic evening just looked at stars glistening" I said and then we kissed in the moonlight the screams of terror behind us fading away into silence.