A/N: Hey everyone! Thank you for the awesome reviews for the last chapter -- it really inspired me to keep writing! As your reward, here's another chapter. Let's savour this one because I'm getting very busy and I'm not sure when I can update next. I will try to do so sometime next week. Happy reading, and thank you very much to those who reviewed, saved this story in one way or another, and read it! xx IFHD
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Chapter 7: Mistake
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"Blow Me Away"
by: Breaking Benjamin
They fall in line
One at a time
Ready to play
(I can't see them anyway)
No time to lose
We've got to move
Steady your hand
(I am losing sight again)
Fire your guns
It's time to run
Blow me away
(I will stay, in the mess I made)
After the fall
We'll shake it off
Show me the way
Only the strongest will survive
Lead me to heaven, when we die
I am the shadow on the wall
I'll be the one to save us all
There's nothing left
So save your breath
Lying in wait
(Caught inside this tidal wave)
Your cover's blown
No where to go
Holding your fate
(Loaded I will walk alone)
Fire your guns
It's time to run
Blow me away
(I will stay, in the mess I made)
After the fall
We'll shake it off
Show me the way
Only the strongest will survive
Lead me to heaven, when we die
I am the shadow on the wall
I'll be the one to save us all
Wanted it back
(Don't fight me now)
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I just cheated on Ciaran.
God strike me down with a million bolts of lightning right now; I just cheated on somebody.
Raking shaking fingers through my hair, I abruptly stood without a word, turning away from Murphy's form. How could I do such a thing like that? You allowed it. My heart constricted uncontrollably at this realization. Biting my bottom lip, I began to walk away from him. I wrapped my coat more tightly around me, hoping to elicit some warmth, for I now felt so desolate and cold.
"Lourdes!" I heard Murphy's half-guilty, half-worried voice call from behind me. "Lourdes, wait!"
Not heeding his calls, I only continued to walk faster, having no destination and frankly not caring where I was headed to at the moment. All I knew was that I had to get away from here, and I had to get away now.
Though, before I could get any further, I felt Murphy's strong hands seize me once more, swirling me around in an abrupt motion to face him. Breathless, he hastily began, "Lourdes, look, I wasn't thinkin', I was…" When I didn't reply to this attempt at an explanation, he continued, flustered, "Ya know I care about ye and wouldn't want to hurt ye, but I…" He tried once more to compose himself, knowing exactly what was going through my mind at that moment. "Look, yer not even happy with him, so…"
At this point, I rudely shrugged myself from his grasp. Feeling anger churn and boil inside of me, I snapped, "How the fuck do you know that? You meet me again, after more than ten years, and you have the fucking nerve to presume such a thing?"
In response, he held out his hands outwards to his sides. Jaw tightening, he declared, "If ya fuckin' were, ya wouldn't be here kissin' me."
Whether Murphy was correct or not in his assumptions was not the point. I squinted my eyes in both pain and question. "And you think you'd take advantage of that? You, out of all people, who I would think would be just and righteous, would fucking do that?"
"It's nothin' like that, Lourdes, and ye fuckin' know it." He said firmly, obvious in the tone of his voice that he was trying his utmost best to keep his boiling temper in check. Without hesitation, he enclosed the space between us once more. "I know what I just did wasn't right, but ye gotta see that…"
"Ciaran's a good man, Murphy." I instantly declared as I took a step back from his advancing form. "He doesn't deserve to be treated this way."
At these statements, Murphy seemed to be fighting an inner battle. His clenched fists remained locked to his sides, his head slightly bowed as his chest visibly rose and fell as he inhaled and exhaled. His eyes turning towards me once more, he said clearly and seriously, "He's not a good man, Lourdes." He paused again, sifting through his thoughts, "I can't explain it to ye now, but I know that he's not." He persisted with persuading me, taking the sides of my arms and pulling me towards him. "I'm not talking bullshit. Ye have ta trust me on this one."
"Trust you?" I retorted with complete incredulity lining my raised voice. I tried to pull away from him once more as I declared, "Murphy, I don't even think I know you anymore!"
"I want ya ta know me." He began to soothingly caress my check with the back of his hand. "It's just…" he closed his eyes as if in pain, managing to croak out, "it's complicated. My life is fuckin' complicated, and it will take a lot of understandin' ta…"
I shook my head in utter confusion. "Murphy, what are you…"
I was suddenly interrupted by ear-piercing gun shots. Letting out a shriek as I immediately ducked for cover, Murphy instinctively wrapped his arms around me, pulling me down upon the ground. Through the dim light and my disheveled hair, I could make out the silhouettes of a pair of figures only a few meters from Murphy and me. Panic flowed through my veins, striking me in the heart as I laid, frozen, frightened, upon the ground. Trying to gather my wits about me, I turned towards Murphy's form, seeing him through my progressively blurry eyes. I swallowed a gasp as I saw him feel for something in his pocket, then, in an instant, pull out a silencer and hold it out in front of him. Wide-eyed, I gripped onto his coat, half in fear, half in question. How the fuck did Murphy have a gun? Before I could question him, he only pulled me closer, and without a word, began to fire at our assailants.
As I covered my ears through the deafening firefight, I felt Murphy hastily tugging at my arm, pulling me up to my feet. We began to sprint towards the direction of the parking lot as Murphy continued to shoot at the two figures, now right on our tails. I ran as quickly and as lowly as I could, biting my bottom lip in order to keep from crying out. Fuck, I'm going to die!, I sobbed mentally in my panicked state, feeling my entire body aching from the escape. God help us. Please, God, help us!
Then, just as the gunshots began, they abruptly ended.
I fell to the ground in fatigue with Murphy still at my side.
I suddenly heard him groan. Swirling my entire body to face him, I saw him writhing on the grass beside me, breathing heavily and holding the side of his waist. "Fuck!" I cursed in distress, pulling the disheveled tendrils of my hair from my face as I surveyed him. Feeling as though my heart was about to burst, I rolled onto my knees, pulling him up as slowly and carefully as I could and supporting his back with my left arm. So many questions and curses whirled through my head, but at that moment, all I was concerned about was Murphy's safety. Making sure that he applied enough pressure to the wound, I declared shakily, "Murphy, I don't have my phone with me, so I'm going to take you to the hospital, alright?" I wiped the sweat trickling down his brow and cheeks with the palm of my hand. I tried to steady my voice. "Can you get up?"
He nodded quickly, attempting to place his gun back into his coat pocket. Seeing the excruciating pain plastered upon his countenance, I slung his arm around my shoulder, using all of my strength to pull him up. Now fear had me even more in its grasp as I struggled to half-lead, half-carry Murphy into his car. Luckily, we were only a few seconds from the parking lot, so it wasn't long before I had opened the door and helped Murphy get inside as carefully as possible into the backseat. Running towards the other side and jumping into the driver's seat, I started the engine as quickly as I could, stepped hard on the engine, and began to maniacally drive down the deserted, gravel street.
I felt as though I was in a dream, a semi-conscious state where everything was blurry, indistinct. The dimly-lit road in front of me seemed to wander, and I alternated my gaze upon the road and the rearview mirror, checking Murphy's status. Using all my will to keep my calm and to keep from bursting into tears, I choked, "Murphy, talk to me! Please, talk to me!"
"Not the hospital." He replied weakly through tight lips, grabbing onto my shoulder as he painfully leaned forward. Through his gritted teeth, he continued hoarsely, "My Ma's house, Lourdes. Take me to my Ma's house."
"What?!" I cried in disbelief, attempting to turn around to face him. Ultimately having to keep my eyes on the road, I shot him a glance from the rearview mirror. "No, Murphy, you're going to the hospital!"
"They'll ask questions." He replied curtly, now squeezing my shoulder with a bloodied hand. "Please, just do what I say."
I began to shook my head, unconvinced, "Murphy…"
"Please, Lourdes!" He said a little more forcefully before leaning back upon the backseat, hissing through his teeth.
I knew with Murphy's stubborn nature that he wouldn't get out of the car even if I did bring him to the hospital. So, finally complying to his request, I gave my head a nod of acquiesce, hastily agreeing, "Alright, I'll take you home." I forced myself to refrain from questioning his motives or intentions at the moment. All I wanted now was to get Murphy some help, whether it be from doctors or his family.
Paying no attention to speed limits, I haphazardly zigzagged through the streets, taking the most efficient route to the MacManus home. Semi-hyperventilating, I fought to keep my composure, concentrating on not getting the two of us killed in traffic. Finally catching sight of the MacManus home not far in the distance, my anxieties lessened a bit. Frantically halting the vehicle upon the driveway, I twisted my head towards Murphy's form once more. "Murphy, I'm gonna go get Connor and…"
Murphy wasn't moving.
The panic rose within me once more as I clutched his hand. "Murphy? Murphy!"
He didn't answer.
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A/N: Oh crap. What'd you guys think? xx IFHD