Author's Note

This is a brief update, as we look into Ana's state of mind.

I woke up this morning feeling sad and depressed as I recall the conversation that Quinn and I had, the night before. Quinn explained that he would be going out-of-town to assist Elliot with a business crisis in Los Angeles.

I was planning my morning feeling a bit lost, since I knew Elliot wasn't going to be there. I suppose I would be taking my orders from Toby. Elliot must have known that I would be feeling somewhat unsure as to what I would be doing since he wasn't there to give me my daily tasks.

My duties vary on a day-to-day basis. I was startled back to reality as I received a call from Elliot, telling me that I am to report to work with Kate at her office. He didn't tell me anything else, only that he's sure that Kate would be calling me with all the details. No sooner do we hang up, when my phone rings once more, it's Kate and she fills in the blanks.

I kindly tell her that Elliot explained everything to me and that I was to expect her call. I'm actually looking forward to spending my work days with Kate. This will be an opportunity for me to finally break away from Claire. I don't understand why she's been taking me out to lunch, it's very strange for the obvious reason. She's also been very friendly and kind to me, offering to show me around the city and to be my personal tour guide.

I don't get it, I have no idea why she is being so nice to me and frankly, if I hadn't spent that one night with Christian, I'm not sure that I would have been able to have been so kind to her in return. I find her to be very dominating and it's difficult to say 'no' to her. I feel awful for pretending to like Claire, but I don't want to do anything to call attention to myself or to Christian, at least that's what I say in mind.

I have put myself in the middle of this mess and I have no one else to blame for my mistakes. If I could turn back time and change what I did, I would in a heartbeat. I hate myself for thinking this, but truthfully, if I could have enjoyed our one night together with out having these other connections to Christian's family, I wouldn't regret a thing. I know that's a horrible thing to say but it is how I feel and least I can be honest with myself about that. I do wish I had a friend in this city that I could confide in. I can't help but go back to that night with Christian.

The way that Christian made me feel, they way he held me and loved me and worshipped me, it was beyond anything that I've ever felt before and will probably never feel again. That thought alone hurts me physically, because that only reinforces the fact that my marriage is in serious trouble, never mind the obvious one night, that one magical and glorious night.

Oh God, I really need to stop thinking about that night and focus on what I need to do, both for myself and for Quinn. He doesn't deserve this.

Yes, I know there are many couples who have had affairs and have somehow managed to repair, work through and fix their problems. I don't want to be another statistic, I do love Quinn, very much, I'm just not sure that I'm still in love with Quinn.

I've heard people say that over and over again, "I love you, I'm just not in love with you," in the movies and on TV. I always thought it was such a cliché and a crock of shit. A sick part of me giggles because who would have thought? Now I know exactly what that statement means and it breaks my heart.

STOP!

I AM GIVING YOU AN ADVANCED WARNING, IN CASE YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE UPCOMING CHAPTERS.

PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE TO READ, IF YOU DO NOT WANT A SPOILER!

THANK YOU!

Let me begin by saying, Thanks so much for the reviews, I do appreciate all of them.

Especially the guest reviewer who said, "This story sucks" and the other guest who questions "the point of this story" and then tells me to shove this story up my ass.

Um, ok? Lol!

I know it seems like I'm dragging this out but, I promise certain things will happen, on or before Chapter 10.

Thanks again,

Stem