AN: We are almost done with this revamp! Obviously the main changes from here on will be adjusting references to the changed event last chapter, but those peter out anyway.
The Universe of the four gods
Chapter Seven: The Aimless Heart
The two young ladies with destinies intertwined had minds weighed down heavily by the choices that lay before them. One slept with fever, disturbed by dreams of those things she feared and lost, and of the things she wished for, far from reach. The other remained steadfast by her bedside, refusing sleep or food until she was certain of her comrade's health.
The celestial warrior Hotohori ordered palace doctors and medicines to tend to the sleeping young lady in an attempt to ease her suffering and lower the burning fire within her body. Their efforts were to little avail, however, as the young lady's body had been abused and strained long past its limit during its time facing in the new world she faced. All that could be done for the young lady was to receive her long-required rest.
And still, the troubled heart of the waking young lady would not be calmed until her friend would wake as well. As days passed, she lingered at the young lady's bedside, helping in all efforts to soothe and replenish the energy of the sleeping young lady.
In another world, another woman lingered by another bedside, listening to the word of another medic.
"I am very sorry, Ms. Kuwa. All that we can do now is keep her well hydrated and wait."
"I just...don't understand..." The older woman shook her head, staring down at her child, who tossed and turned in a troubled dream. "She was healthy at dinner. She didn't even look tired."
"Are you certain you have no family history of this? These sorts of things can strike suddenly when a family is prone to fevers."
She shook her head slowly. "She's so healthy, usually..."
The man settled his hand on her shoulder lightly. "I can tell you this, Ms. Kuwa. There isn't anything physically wrong with her. We've checked for everything that could possibly cause this, and there isn't any sign of anything wrong with her." He turned his head to the sleeping girl. "I believe...once her fever breaks, she will wake on her own."
The woman brushed away a building tear with the back of her hand, as she stared down at her daughter. "Fu...wake up soon..."
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Morin stared up at the ceiling, sitting back in her chair just a little bit more than she probably should. It would be fine, though. Her room was small enough and cramped enough that even if it tipped over, the back of the chair would just hit the wall behind her. It might be scary, but probably she wouldn't get hurt. Right?
Right.
But that was just...distracting herself. Mostly, she was thinking about normal, safe things. Things that made much more sense than the rest of her day had. Seriously...what's going on? That blood...all that water...I couldn't have imagined it, right? Other people saw it, too!
She sighed. Nothing makes any sense.
Idly, she stared over her shoulder at the book she'd found lying on the street outside the library. It was so old looking, it had to go in there. But the library was already closed. She'd picked it up and brought it home with her so she could take it back tomorrow, just in case it rained that night and ruined it. After all, it looked pretty valuable, being that old.
She quirked her head to the side to read the spine of the book. "Seriously, though...I've never seen a library lend out a book that old looking..."
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Your majesty...there is nothing more we can do." The man shook his head. "Her fever must break on its own, or it will not."
"No!" Miaka snapped, voice thick with tears. "That's...that's not going to happen! It's going to break! That's not...that isn't how it's supposed..."
This was supposed to be a chance to escape from reality and have wishes granted! This is just a book...Yui can't die! She can't!
"There must be something you can do." Hotohori issued the demand with all the authority in his voice that her outburst lacked. As if simply by ordering it so, the men around them could change reality.
She really, really wanted them to.
"There...there is a rumor of a great doctor in one of the northern villages. Perhaps he could help." The man shook his head. "But that is a several days ride away, and which town...we would have to search to determine which one he resides within. During that time..."
"Enough." Hotohori shook his head, grimacing in frustration. "We do not have such time."
If we were home...
If she were only home, in a hospital, with medicine in the real world...then she'd be fine! If she were only home! Damn it, why did the book have to close? It's not fair! Let me take her back! Please, please just let me go home!
"...Home?" Hotohori's voice was quiet, and there was something strange...unreadable about his voice.
Maybe it was just her surprise that he'd read her mind that made him unreadable. "Wh...what?"
"You were whispering about bringing her home..."
"O-oh..." She'd been focusing so hard on trying to force herself to go back through the cover of the book that she hadn't realized she'd started chanting out loud. Apparently. That was at least more believable and less sudden than the emperor next to her suddenly gaining super powers.
"Uh..." She nodded, voice still shaky from tears. "If...if we were home, they'd be able to help her. We have medicine and...and things that can help with fevers!"
"Then...perhaps we can take her home."
She must have misheard him, even though his voice was carefully measured and determined, and he didn't stutter at all. Because they couldn't get back except by wish, unless someone outside opened that book again (and no one had in months). "What?"
His hazel-gold eyes dropped away from her, hidden by his long lashes. "There are passages that speak of a way...but to do so...we must travel to see Tai Yi Jun."
There was a place? A place they could actually go to, to go home? All this time Yui could have gone back...(but then she would have been alone here, wouldn't she? Except...no. No, she'd rather be alone, rather give up all of her wishes entirely and leave with Yui forever if it meant saving her from this. From...)
"She resides in the mountains...but such a harrowing journey in such a condition..."
Oh no...oh no, there's no cars or safe method of carrying people, are there? And mountain climbing? What are we gonna do? If she doesn't wake up...!
"Miaka." He spoke firmly again, cutting through her thoughts. "Either way may prove futile. If you believe there is a chance to save her by bringing her home, however..."
"I..." Miaka shook her head violently. "I won't sit here and let her die!" Even if there was a chance it wouldn't help, at least she'd try. She had to try. Yui would. She knew she would.
She'd just said...last night...we look out for each other and support each other, right? But now she's like this...like this and I can't do anything! It isn't fair!
"We shall prepare to leave immediately, then."
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
He completely lost his balance. It was amazing that he didn't immediately crash to the ground with his stomach as soon as he heard the servant speaking. It wasn't to him, just in passing to some other person. The priestess' friend collapsed, did you hear?
It wasn't very fair to the poor girl to grab her so roughly, but he didn't think well enough to do it properly. "Tell me."
Her eyes were wide no doubt from the unexpected man handling. Or it was due to the menacing glow of the character on his forehead. in general, the first time someone saw it on him their reaction tended to be one of fear or disgust. It didn't even phase him to see such a reaction from yet another person. It wasn't important at the moment, anyway.
"I-I...That girl who came to the palace with the priestess. She...she collapsed this morning. The doctors say she has an incurable fever."
He didn't need to ask where the medics would have taken her, because he'd had his fair share of scrapes, and he'd seen where sick and injured servants had gone during his time in the palace. He'd had literally nothing better to do than to see that, most of the time. Thus, he didn't wait to listen any longer. He'd actually started running across the courtyard before he'd realized that he had.
His heart beat faster than it had since he'd almost been crushed, and that didn't make any sense. After all, he wasn't the one with the fever, or the one about to be crushed to death, this time. And it was only a fever. People had fevers all the time, even if they were 'incurable'. Those just...broke on their own.
They did, right?
They definitely had to.
He crashed through the door with enough speed and force that Miaka, who'd been sitting in a chair next to where Yui was lying on the bed, shrieked in surprise and almost fell to the ground. Which was kind of an over reaction. Even if he felt a little bad for that. After all, this was her best friend in the bed. As bad as he might have...worried...the two of them were barely even friends.
He couldn't claim that he cared about the blonde nearly as much as Miaka did. It was just...really he had money invested in her welfare. There wouldn't be much point in him rescuing the girl from those thugs when they first met if she was just going to collapse all on her own a few months later.
He padded quietly through the room, approaching the bed so that he could get a better look at the sleeping girl. Her cheeks were flushed pink, but the rest of her skin was starkly pale, sweat beaded on her skin despite the rag pressed to her forehead, and she took rapid, pained breaths.
"...What happened?"
Miaka shook her head, lips quavering and eyes shining with tears. "I...I don't know...she just...she just collapsed..."
He bit his cheek hard enough that the taste of blood ran along the side of his tongue. What an annoying girl.
Hesitantly, he reached out, and touched his fingers to her hand. The skin was hot enough he was almost surprised it didn't burn his own. He refused to pull it away, though. Not immediately. Even if she had a fever...Yui was still there, lost amongst the burning fever and whatever dreams raced through her mind. A person needed support from others to get through a thing like that.
"Hey..." There was a faint scratchiness to his voice, and he swallowed, banishing it. "Yui. If you don't get a grip...just who am I supposed to hide out with when Nuriko comes looking for me, huh?"
She breathed something out, a pained sound, a whimper of discomfort due to the fever. Nothing comprehensible or meant to be a word of any sort outside of whatever dream she might have been trapped within at that time.
It only sounded like his name in his own imagination.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
At some point, she knew she'd fallen asleep at Yui's bedside.
She knew that, because at some point Yui had turned into strawberry ice cream and she'd had a very long moral dilemma about whether it was okay to eat her best friend as long as she was foodstuffs that would melt if she didn't. Tamahome, who was maple syrup, kept insisting that if they baked her with oreos it would solve everything and return her to normal.
But it didn't matter, because there wasn't a spoon anyway and...
"Miaka..."
She startled awake, only having dozed off to begin with.
Had someone said...?
"Mia..." The feminine voice cracked, and Miaka's heart almost stopped with shock.
"Yui!"
Heedless of the exhausted and drawn look on her friend's face, she flung herself from the chair and wrapped her arms around the girl's neck, tears burning fresh in her eyes. "Yui! Yui, you're okay! You're okay!"
For a few moments, her tired friend did nothing but lay there, partially lifted up by the hug...doing something. Maybe staring at the ceiling. Miaka couldn't actually tell, because her face was buried in her friend's shoulder. After a moment or two, though, slim arms curled around her, and a comfortingly strong hug pulled her a little closer.
"...Hey, you big cry baby. Don't...don't get your gross snot all over me."
Her laugh turned into a hiccup, but she still managed to pull herself away from her friend long enough to scrub at her face and eyes. "Yui...Yui, I thought-"
Her friend offered a weak smile. "Don't be a dummy."
"Yui..." She shook her head, struggling to clear her thoughts. "What...what happened?"
Her face tightened slightly in thought, and she shook her head. "I'm...I'm not sure. I was just...walking...and then I was dizzy, and...now I'm here. I don't remember anything between that."
Miaka bit her lip and sat back in her chair, frowning. When she'd seen Tamahome he'd looked...guilty. For a little bit, she'd thought maybe he'd done something, caused something, or went and allowed Nuriko to do something. Yet...if Yui said that she'd only fainted, then it must not have been anything like that. But then, that made more sense, anyway. She'd never picture Tamahome as the kind of person that would hurt anyone like Yui.
"...We're going home."
Yui, who'd been looking off into the distance, as if still partly in a daze from her fever, immediately turned her attention to Miaka again, eyes wide and clear.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Home...
Miaka had left finally, with much shooing and loud demands to let her rest in peace (quickly rephrased to something that didn't make her friend look like she was about to burst into tears). Before that, she'd explained about as well as Miaka ever could that there was a method to return home after all.
A part of her was irate that it had been kept from them. But then...considering the circumstances, she could also understand why it had yet to come up. Miaka had, after all, agreed to be priestess. After summoning the beast god, she'd be allowed to return home (or not, if a certain love-struck emperor had a say, apparently) anyway. Giving her a way home before that didn't serve much point, did it?
...She couldn't entirely rid herself of the resentment she felt.
She slid her knees up to her chin and stared off at the far wall of her room, where a mess of papers were still left from her failed exam practice that...er. Whenever it was that she'd done that, before her fever took a day away from her.
Speaking of...she still felt weak and dizzy, her body still warned her against moving too quickly or too much. "...And now I'm going to go climb a mountain..."
She gave a soft laugh that echoed through the room without any actual mirth.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
He was, perhaps, allowing his emotions to show too strongly.
His dismissal of an adviser had been curt by design, but the flash of wariness (if not directly fear) and the manner in which the man skittered away quite so quickly had not been. A good emperor learned to control and conceal his emotions, to prevent them from ever overflowing and influencing his decisions wrongly.
He had known this much of his life.
It was perhaps the most difficult moment in his life to follow that teaching.
And perhaps the person whom he was seeking out at the moment was not the culprit behind the burning fury and frustration crackling under his skin, but they were an unfortunate outlet for it. Their behavior was inappropriate enough, it couldn't be ruled out completely that it contributed to the state that Miaka's friend was currently in.
But more importantly...because of this...
Miaka would be...
For a moment, his fists clenched within the sleeves of his robes, fighting down a wave of frustration and grief. Dealing with Nuriko in such a state would not end well, but...without at least that much to accomplish and contribute, he felt all the more helpless. What sort of a celestial warrior was he, to be unable to help the priestess he had been born to protect?
"Hotohori..." A soft voice filtered through the air behind him, and he halted immediately. For a terrible moment, he thought the worst: that Miaka would have left Yui's side when she was in such a state...could possibly mean that she...
"Her fever's broken."
Relief washed over him with such strength that he nearly staggered. To hear such words...even if he had expended all of his resources fruitlessly to help the young lady...if she was alright after all, that was what mattered in the end, didn't it?
He turned around to face the priestess then, and immediate felt his heart sink at the look on her face.
She glanced away from him after a moment, eyes dark with a sadness and regret he dreaded and at the same time wished that he could simply brush away. "...But she still...I still want to take her home."
He watched her for a few moments, forcing down the thoughts and the regrets that attempted to surface. As much as it was a true relief and blessing to be allowed to show his true self to Miaka, not to fear revealing his thoughts and emotions to her as another person rather than guarding them to protect a subject or alliance...
This was not the time to allow his selfishness to interfere.
"Then we will continue preparations." She stiffened slightly, her shoulders squaring, and for a moment his resolve wavered. He reached out briefly, hand touching her shoulder...and then drew back his hand. It was not an appropriate moment to express his feelings toward her. He was aware of that. "Fear not. Now that she will be able to move safely, the journey will be far more expedient and safe."
Her voice was barely audible, but it might as well have been a scream. "When she leaves...I'm going with her."
Leaving...
After so many years waiting, after finally finding the woman who was exactly as he'd always hoped her to be...
Already, she was leaving.
As if she sensed his thoughts-and perhaps those were no less difficult to read than the emotions he found himself unable to control-she immediately straightened herself and looked up at him, eyes wide and shining with tears. "But...but I'm going to come back! I promise! Once I know that Yui is okay...I'll...I promise that I'll come back and be your priestess! I promise!"
He summoned a soft smile then, one of encouragement, and reached up to touch the warmth of her cheek, pressed his hand lightly to the one who would soon vanish like mist before him. "Trouble yourself not with such things, Miaka...for now, worry only for your friend. You are, after all, the chosen one of Suzaku. And..." He strengthened his voice, pressed into it all of his hope and determination, banished the fear and loneliness that her departure summoned within him. "Much more important to me...you are Miaka. I would not doubt your word for a moment."
Her lips formed a slow, trembling smile and a moment later she flung herself into him, arms gripping him tight. On instinct, his own arms curled around her, and he tucked his chin over soft hair. "Hotohori...I promise...I promise!"
He had no need to ask her whether her words were meant to convince herself more than he.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
She shrieked much louder than she thought she could, and immediately flung the nearest thing-a book-at the sudden intruder in her room.
"Whoa!" Tamahome, who had of course chosen the moment she'd begun to change to just barge into her room without knocking, jumped out of the path of the flying book with a small yelp. The book itself slammed into the wall behind him with an echoing crash. "Suzaku, that's a mean arm."
Tamahome...
Just why...what was he doing in her room, anyway? When she'd last seen him, he'd barely even given her a moment of his time. She frowned to herself and looked away from him with determination, working to quickly secure her clothes before anything could fall off. "What...what are you doing here?"
"I..." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Um. Sorry...bad timing."
She settled a cold gaze on him. It wasn't fair of him. He couldn't just be cold for no reason and then pretend that he wasn't! What kind of a person did that? What kind of a...what kind of a friend...? "You can't hide in here. There'll be doctors here soon."
"That's...that isn't it..." He stuttered something under his breath and frowned in consternation to himself. She couldn't make it out, but...even if it was unfair (it wasn't like he was the only reason she'd ended up collapsing, after all) just seeing him there, being as frustrating and difficult as ever, was making her angry.
"What?"
"...I'm sorry." He didn't meet her gaze, even if his words were loud and firm now. He stared at something on the ground. "I know...the kinds of things you keep thinking about that Nuriko, but they're not. True. There's nothing going on. There never has been, and there's not going to be."
She bit her lip, and swallowed down that swell of emotion that struggled to overcome her common sense. It wasn't...there wasn't even really a reason for that emotion. She couldn't identify it at all. That was just silly. "Why...what's that supposed to mean to me? It's not like you need to apologize about who you like or don't."
His dark eyes met hers. She forgot to breathe.
"That's...because..."
Tamahome...
"...I-" He glanced away from her suddenly, and turned back toward the door. "I'm going to make sure you return to your world safely. Free of charge this time."
The sudden change made her dizzy, and she nearly fell over in the bed she'd been sitting up in. Did he just-
What...
"Tama..."
"Please recover quickly." He hesitated only a moment longer, and then vanished through the door without another word.
...home.
Before she'd even realized it, her pillow smacked into the closed door.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
She had work to do.
She had to get prepared! She didn't even really know where to start-it wasn't like she'd ever climbed a mountain without a clear path straight up it before. There was probably tons of food she needed to pack. And a change of clothes, but it had to be something she wore before she got to the mountain, because she couldn't just pop into the real world again in clothes from here!
Would it even appear if she did?
Would it be weirder if she was in her old uniform?
What would she even say...? It wasn't like they could get away with saying they'd been sucked into a strange book in the library and been on an adventure until then, right? So they'd have to come up with a story that actually made sense. (Good thing she had Yui there to help).
And then...she had to decide when she could come back...
So that she could spend months away again...
without telling anyone...
and leave Yui there.
Her footsteps stopped, and behind her, she heard Hotohori's halt as well.
"Hotohori..."
She bit her lip, staring down at her feet as tears burned in her eyes. "...I'm so...I'm sorry."