First Words

Booth sat in his living room. He wondered if his son was going to stay down this time. The boy had been up every hour on the hour and it was now three o'clock am and Booth was afraid to sleep, he was listening for crying again. The baby just wanted to hang out, he was sure of it. He hadn't had much time for the boy lately; there was a serial killer loose in D.C. So much of his time had been consumed by investigating body after body and there didn't seem to be any end in sight. He felt bad for the squints who had been working eighteen hour days lately, and the back-up in Limbo increased daily.

Doctor Saroyan had yet to replace his wife with another Forensic Anthropologist at the Jeffersonian. They were hard shoes to fill that were left behind by the brilliant Doctor. What they wouldn't have given to have Temperance back. Everyone missed her so much, in every way. It had only been nine months, and the grief was still pretty fresh for everyone in her extended family. No one missed her more than the man sitting on the couch, listening for sounds coming from down the hall.

He thought back to a meeting he had with Sweets the other day. He had forgiven the doctor, grudgingly, for the events that transpired leading up to her death. Booth still blamed Sweets, but after a long session with Doctor Gordon Wyatt, and inspiration from his Priest, he decided that in his own best interest, forgiveness was the way to go. He didn't need any more negative emotions in his life. Everything he did, he did for their son.

Doctor Sweets had told him days earlier that everyone was worried about him. How he was coping with work, life as a single father, life without her. He refused to give the young doctor the satisfaction of knowing how much his heart ached for his partner. Every time he walked into the Jeffersonian he expected to see her there. Working tirelessly, identifying, investigating, everything she was so good at. Sweets had thrown in his face the number of hours that Jax had logged in at the FBI daycare. As if he didn't feel bad enough about that, but he didn't have an alternative. Sometimes he left the baby with the squints at the lab, but he felt worse and worse every time he had to do that. Even though they all seemed happy to watch the baby, he knew how much work they had to do.

He considered his options, but there were few. One of them was a change in career, but he didn't know any other life. He was good at what he did, and they needed him right now. They needed all the help they could get. Now was not the time for that action. His thoughts were interrupted by his son crying again from his room. He got up with a sigh to get the baby.

He sat on the couch now with his boy. He had stopped crying when his father had picked him up. It seemed he just wanted to be held. Seeley was happy to oblige, but he knew the lack of sleep would affect both of them tomorrow. The two Booth's just sat there. Staring at each other. The baby's eyes looked so much like his mother that Booth couldn't help but remember all the times he had starred into those eyes in the night. However many times it had been, it hadn't been enough.

He thought of her and what she would have been like as a mother. He was sure she would have been amazing. Like everything she did. Except interrogate witnesses on an emotional level. That had been his forte. He remembered back to her pregnancy and how nervous she had been about impending motherhood. Knowing how the pregnancy had ended, he would give anything to go back to those times, to console her again. To talk to her, to be with her.

He realized that these thoughts were getting him nowhere. He looked back down at his son, and the baby babbled to him in his pre-verbal infancy language. They smiled at each other, mirror smiles. Seeley shifted the baby so that he was sitting and leaning against his chest, and he reached over to the end table by the couch and picked up a picture that was framed and displayed there. It was taken on their honeymoon. The only 'family' picture that Booth had. Jax wasn't born yet, but in the picture she was obviously pregnant and smiling her biggest smile. His heart warmed at the memory of those days. That's what he should focus on, what was; not what might have been.

He held the picture in front of his son, and pointed to Temperance. The baby slapped at the picture and his gibberish suddenly became quite clear.

"Mama."

Booth was in shock. He didn't believe what he had just heard. He pointed to himself in the picture, but the baby remained quiet. He pointed back at her and Jax clearly said again,

"Mama."

Seeley laughed out loud, startling his son, but he made the boy smile again with a big kiss to the top of his head. He was at that moment convinced he had a little genius on his hands. The boy clearly knew who she was. He talked about her all the time to Jax but he had no idea the baby's young mind was retaining anything. This was an incredible revelation. She lived through her son. Just like the priest had told him.

He shifted the baby more on to his chest and leaned back a little. They both fell asleep within moments, his mind was clear, but he briefly wondered about the capacity of his son's.

They next morning came early and as he watched his son spread oatmeal all over his face, he wondered what her reaction would be to the mess. He smiled at the thought. He looked around the kitchen and wondered if maybe it was time to move. Find a house for him and his sons. A place where Parker could feel comfortable as well. His apartment was becoming much too small for his growing kids. He wondered when he would have the time though. After they had captured this serial killer, he would make some drastic life choices. Life changes. Moving from this place would be a little bit like saying good-bye to all the memories that they shared there.

It was the first home they had, after the wedding, after the honeymoon, after her apartment was burned down by crazy Gus. There were a lot marks that she had left here. It would be hard to move, but he felt it should be done sooner rather than later. Soon... he would make the time.

He finished getting his son ready for the day, and himself. He no longer took the effort to impress anyone with his flashy ties or his crazy socks. He was a standard black tie-black-sock man now. It was always her he tried to show off for, but there was no need for that now. He had buried his 'Cocky' belt buckle in her hand after she had died. Never to be tempted again to wear it. She had bought him the replacement, after he had lost his original one on the Navy ship, care of the Gravedigger, and in his darkest days after her death, he felt it was a fitting end to his 'Cocky' attitude.

He would only be the best he could be for their son.

He strapped the boy in his car seat, in the back of the SUV, and drove off to the Hoover Building. His fatigue from his nearly sleepless night and the previous weeks, caught up to him very suddenly when a car cut him off and he swerved to miss it. While he swerved from one direction, another car was changing lanes beside him and the two vehicles collided. The SUV containing Booth and his son flipped over the car and came to rest upside down next to a guard rail a few yards beyond it.

The only sound heard from observers approaching the accident was the sound of the tires still spinning.