Disclaimer: Fang the Sniper and co. © Sega/Archie Comics
Chapter Seven
Big Guns: The Thorned Gatling
-Man, I wish I had a video game based on me. It'd have explosions, guns and lots and lots of hot –oh, you're here, never mind that back to the story.-
Two shiny black pistols glistened in the sunlight as they stayed holstered to Fang's hips. Fang was standing in his hotel room getting ready. He readjusted his hat and made sure that his sniper rifle was strapped to his back correctly before cracking his knuckles. Thankfully his hangover had subsided a couple hours ago, but he still had a bruise on his head and it still hurt. –I'm still wondering how I got this bruise.- The Sniper then looked at took the last weapon in his arsenal, his Revolver. Fang smirked before rotating the gun on his finger a couple of times before sliding it into the holster on his back as opposed to the two pistols on his hips.
-Wonder what Ni- I mean Bayonet has in store for this guy. Hopefully it's simple. I mean seriously, if this plan is so long that it takes a fucking montage to either explain or accomplish I'm going to be pissed.-
Fang quickly checked himself in the mirror, readjusting his hat and making sure that his pistols were holstered correctly. Normally he wouldn't get so dressed up or prepared for a target, but this was different. If this were any other hit, on any other person, Fang could probably care less about it. This time he had to be on his toes because he was about to do battle against another fellow assassin.
There was a knocking at his door and Fang knew exactly who it was. –At least she's fucking knocking instead of just blowing my god damn door open. Hell, if she did, she'd probably make me pay for it!- Fang walked to the door and opened it with a sigh. Right as the door opened, a brown cloth was thrown at his face.
"Put this on." said Bayonet as she walked into the room with a stern look on her face.
Fang pulled the cloth off of his face and looked at it. "A fucking poncho?" he asked in a confused tone.
Bayonet turned around and Fang could see that she was wearing one as well. "Well of course, it's going to make sure that your weapons aren't seen you dumb fuck." replied his sister agitatedly, a brown leather fedora on her head as well, it looked a lot like Fang's hat.
-Heh, I remember that thing, to be honest, I kinda started wearing fedoras after I saw that she was wearing them. They make me look like a badass, they make her look like a transvestite.-
The Sniper groaned in an annoyed tone before putting the poncho on. His sister was right though, it did cover his weapons up completely making Fang look normal to the civilian eyes. Now the two would look perfectly casual amongst the crowd. Now the two looked exactly like brother and sister since they were now wearing the same color ponchos, hats and fur. –Shit! I just realized that! God damn it, I don't want to look like I'm related to that bitch!-
"Happy now?" asked Fang sarcastically as he showed himself off in the gaudy poncho.
She just eyed him angrily. –Geez, what the fuck is shoved up her ass that she's so pissed off?- "With you, I'm never fucking happy . . . well, unless I'm shooting you." shrugged Bayonet with a devious giggle. –BITCH!-
Fang just pushed that thought away. There was a job to do and there was definitely no time to argue with his sister. The two then just had a momentary stare of with each other before finally breaking it off to continue with their plans. Both of them exited the hotel and began walking around. –I'll tell you this, walking around during the Summer, wearing a god damn poncho is not fucking fun! I was close to have a fucking heat stroke!-
The pair continued to walk for a good couple of minutes before finally seeing their target. Rios the Chihuahua, short, big eared and happy as ever, sat at a café surrounded by women. There was a big cigarette in his mouth which he smoked proudly and there was a large metal box in front of him that he used as a foot rest. He seemed absolutely happy with the day, like he was on top of the world surrounded by beauties. –Lucky bastard, I hope those girls have STD's or something.-
Both Fang and Bayonet took a seat at a table a good distance away from the Chihuahua so he couldn't see them. Their ponchos made them look absolutely ridiculous though.
-You know what would make this scene even more cliché? If an old western style whistle tune sounded and a fucking tumbleweed rolled by. Heh, that would be a bit badass though, because seriously, shits about to get real in a couple of seconds.-
"What are you packing?" asked Bayonet, her voice a serious whisper.
"Two M9's, a Revolver and a Sniper Rifle." whispered Fang in return.
She snorted. "You never give up on buying guns that make you look like a cowboy huh?" she asked, still whispering with a bit of a giggle.
Fang shot her a deadly look. "Will you just fucking shut up?" he hissed angrily.
Bayonet stifled a laugh for a second before finally getting back to business. –'Bout god damn time, I'm really starting to get tired of her shit.- She then looked around the area at the civilians the populated the close vicinity. She snorted at the sight of them, they had no idea what was going to hit them. In her head she calculated that probably the majority of them were going to die, including the women and children. It was actually pretty funny to her since she really had no qualms with killing civilians. Casualties did come with the job, whether wanted or unwanted.
–Funny thing about that, I don't give a fuck about killing civilians either! Think about it, what the hell has a random stranger ever done for you? Dance around with an arrow shaped sign and tell you to go to a store for a sale? Smell funny and ask you for change? Tell you about global warming and how to go green? Other than all that stupid shit, random strangers don't do shit to help you, unless you're fucking lucky enough for one of them to just drop a truck load of cash on you.-
As the two watched the happy Chihuahua drink with his group of lady friends, the air seemed to grow tense. Some of the civilians seemed to notice the sudden change in mood in the area and started to find the place a bit creepy even though they didn't really know why. Soon enough, there was only a smattering of civilians left in the area, probably thirty or forty compared to the almost one hundred people that were there before.
The sound of Rios still chatting pleasantly with the girls still sounded as the crowds' murmuring started to grow softer and softer.
-Damn, it sure can get dense when I'm with my sister.-
Time seemed to slow down until it felt like seconds just crawled by. A tiny drop of sweat formed on Fang's forehead and slowly made it's downwards. –Don't get me wrong, I wasn't nervous! It was fucking hot and I was wearing a poncho!-
"Ready?" asked Bayonet tensely.
"As much as I'll ever be." Fang replied.
She smirked. "On my count," said the Gunner. –This is it.- Her smirk broadened and for some reason, she had the most oddest way of counting down. "And a five, six, seven, eight!"
With a sudden flurry of flying cloth, Fang and Bayonet threw their ponchos off and into the air before drawing their weapons. Fang then unleashed a barrage of bullets from his two M9 pistols, while Bayonet raised a black P90 sub machine gun and fired a storm of shots.
In that same instant, Rios heartlessly grabbed two women and threw them in front of them as shields. The weasels' bullets then slammed into pair of women, tearing them open and spilling their blood and guts everywhere before falling onto the floor. The remaining women then began screaming in total horror before running away for dear life. Rios snorted at the sight of the two dead women sprawled in front of him.
"Eh, great, those two were the pretty ones, damn." cursed Rios, a tiny bit of humor in his voice as well.
-Wow, dunno if I should be mortified or laughing my ass off.-
"Not like it's going to matter!" snapped Bayonet as she kept her weapon trained on the chihuahua's head.
"Woah, woah, woah, just calm down mama cita!" said Rios with a bit of a chuckle as he held his hands out for the Gunner to calm down.
-Fuck it.- Fang pulled the trigger on his left pistol and let a bullet soar through the air right at Rios. A smirk seemed to spread across the chihuahua's face before he dodged it with ease.
"Too slow esse!" taunted the tiny dog before inhaling another puff of smoke from his cigarette. He then took it out of his mouth and flicked it away.
Bayonet looked over at Fang and winked at him telling him that he had done a good job. –Besides, idle dialogue between people who are supposed to kill each other is stupid! Only retarded movie heroes do that crap. Me on the other hand, I'm just a retarded trigger happy assassin . . . wait, what?- Following her brother's lead, the Gunner then fired off a couple of shots at the Chihuahua, making him yelp and grab his metal case before diving off to the side behind an overturned table
"I like your style senorita! Cut the chit chat and right to the shootin!" said Rios cheerfully as he laughed a bit from behind the table.
Neither of the siblings and replied, they were doing exactly what Rios had just said. –Cut the fucking chit chat and get right to the god damn shooting!- Both of them then started firing again, filling the air with the sound of loud cracks as their weapons discharged their tiny lead torpedoes. Fang could barely heard the dog curse under his breath before diving from behind the table he hid behind to a large stone planter.
"Fine! Don't talk!" yelled Rios with a devious cackle. The sound of metal clanking and locks clicking into place suddenly sounded from behind the planter. After that, the sound of a lighter igniting was heard before dying out. "Let's just get right into the fun part!" roared Rios before kicking the planter away. He held in both of his arms a large, black, metal gatling gun, it's rotating barrel tightly wrapped with barbed wire and the picture of a dog footprint painted on its side. On his back was a large metal backpack with a wide line leading from its side right to the side of the gatling gun. –OHSHITSON!- The weapon's large six barrels then started to rotate with a mechanical whir, the barbed wire wrapped around it now making it a sort of chainsaw.
In the chihuahua's mouth was a new cigarette and covering his eyes were a pair of black goggles. "Let's party esse!" he then yelled happily before his weapon unleashed a storm of high caliber bullets onto the two.
-Mother fucker!- Fang quickly dove to the side while his sister did the same except in the opposite direction. The Sniper rolled when he hit the ground and turned over a wooden table so he could have some cover to hide behind. –Damn! I forgot that heavy weapons was this guy's specialty! But seriously! Who the fuck carries a gatling gun with them!-
Sweat dripped from his forehead as he panted heavily. –Nervous! Ha! Like I said, it was just hot outside eheheh . . . oh what's the point?- He was feeling a bit nervous now since a weapon of that size could tear him apart in just mere seconds if he were to let his guard down.
His sister was pretty much the opposite. Instead of being nervous, she was just dead set on a killing Rios. She quickly popped up from behind her piece of cover, which was another stone planter, and aimed down the sights of her sub machine gun before firing a volley of bullets at the Chihuahua.
Despite all of the gear that Rios was wearing he managed to roll to the side before getting up and unleashing hell on Bayonet. Loud rapid fire shots then flew through the air from Rios's weapon and went straight towards Bayonet who yelped in surprise for a bit before diving out of the way. To her horror though, there was no cover to get behind and she just landed flat on her stomach with a dull thud.
"Gotcha." murmured Rios before shuffling his weight and aiming at her.
The gatling gun's barrels then started rotating again in preparation for its latest kill.
"Hey! Taco bell!" yelled Fang angrily.
Rios looked over his right shoulder with a snarl. "Que?"
Fang held his sniper rifle with both hands and aimed down the sight, aligning Rios's head with the corsairs with ease. The Sniper smirked a bit. "Fuck you." He then pulled the trigger.
A loud bang filled the air for a second as the sniper discharged its deadly package straight at chihuahua, quickly tilted his head out of the way but was too slow and the bullet smashed into the right lens of his goggle, tearing it away. –God damn it! I liked the one liner to!- Rios cursed as some of the plastic of the goggles dug into his flesh and some parts of his right eye, making a bloody mess.
"You son of a bitch!" growled Rios before quickly turning around and firing at Fang.
The Sniper repeated what he had done so many times and dived out of the way as the table he was once hiding behind was chewed up by bullets and turned into nothing but wood chips. Rios wouldn't let Fang off that easy though and he kept his finger on the trigger before started to slowly sweep over Fang's location. –Fuck!- The weasel quickly got to his feet before running for his life from the deadly trail of destruction that was following after him. He jumped over chairs and slid across tabletops to get away from the bullets as they tore the furniture up behind him within seconds. Fang then jumped onto a table with enough force to make it slide and he took his two pistols out again and started firing at Rios as he glided sideways.
"Shit!" yelled Rios, too preoccupied to actually dive out of the way. Instead, he did the last thing he hoped to ever do. The Chihuahua quickly turned around right before Fang's bullets dug into the metal backpack that he carried. Rios cursed again as he heard electrical fizzling and gears grinding against each other.
As the table Fang stood on slowed down, the Sniper jumped off it with ease, but kept his two pistols trained on Rios just in case. His sister was doing the same thing, except she was stifling a laugh since she knew what Fang had just done even though Fang himself was just clueless.
"Heh, great job Fang!" she said happily as she closed in on Rios who was fiddling with his weapon. –Finally, a god damn compliment that she means!- "You've disabled his weapon now he can't do shit!" –I did?- Rios opened up a compartment on the side of his weapon and grabbed something. "Ready to die short stack?" asked Bayonet evilly.
Instead of pleading for mercy or groveling for some quick death, Rios just smirked. "Not yet chica." he said before violently pulling a cord back from the gatling gun. For some odd reason, the gatling gun revved up like an lawn mower engine. –Something else also makes that sound to, fuck, I can't remember.- The Chihuahua then pulled the cord back two more times before an engine within the gatling gun roared to life. "I got this baby installed just a week ago." announced Rios before the barrel of his gatling gun began rotating at a much greater speed compared to before. Since the barrel was also covered with a large amount of barbed wire it also made it incredibly dangerous. Seeing this made both Fang and Bayonet's eyes widen in shock. –He installed a fucking lawn mow- I mean chainsaw engine in his gun!-
Before either of the siblings could say anything, Rios charged Bayonet and swung his gating blade at her in large arcs. Fang cursed at the sight of this before aiming his pistols at the Chihuahua and firing at him. His bullets soared through the air before hitting the metal backpack that Rios wore once more and the weasel quickly figured out what Rios was doing.
-Fucker's smart. Since he knows that the backpack is useless to load his gun with bullets, he's just using it to absorb my shots as he tries to rip my sis a new one. Got to admit though, that is a pretty badass weapon though.-
No time to be admiring his enemy though. Fang quickly reloaded his weapons before charging Rios head on as the Chihuahua continued launching countless melee attacks towards Bayonet who seemed to be having a hard time dodging them all.
She panted heavily as she ducked and weaved to avoid the angry chihuahua's razor sharp gatling gun. For some odd reason she was getting tired quick and she feared that she might actually die. As Rios swung his rotating gatling gun barrel of death in a left to right swing, Bayonet jumped back to avoid it but had lost balance and fell on her butt with a thud. instead of trying to squirm away however, she still remembered that she had a gun in her hand and she raised it at Rios's head.
"Too slow!" yelled Rios before swatting away the weapon with his barbed gatling gun.
Some of the barbs had caught her hand and cut right through her glove and into her hand, making her flinch a little before holding her hand in pain. –As badass as she is, she's still goddamn Mobian.- Rios then lifted his weapon above the head, ready to deliver the finishing blow.
"Die bitch!" he roared, his right eye still bleeding and his left eye showing nothing but pure hatred.
Bayonet squeezed her eyes shut, ready to take the blow.
"Alright, let's try this again!" snarled another voice, making Rios turn his head to the left just as a fist slammed into his jaw. "Fuck you!" yelled Fang as his punch made Rios let go of his weapon and fly to the side.
Seeing this just made his sister's jaw drop in amazement. Fang walked up to her and held a hand out so he could help her up. Bayonet turned her gaze to the hand as she quickly shook the amazement out of her head. She then slapped the hand away. "You got lucky." she then said, getting up by herself. –You bitch!-
"God damn it." groaned Rios, making the two look over at him.
The Chihuahua was started to get to his feet, the gatling gun ripped from his backpack and cast to the side. Rios rubbed his jaw, still feeling a bit disoriented before finally realizing that he was unarmed. He cursed loudly before quickly checking his pockets for anything he could use to fight back.
Bayonet then stepped forward after seeing this, her hands on her hips. "Just give up, you're gonna die anyw-"
"Adios!" Rios then said out of nowhere before quickly turning around and starting to run away from the two.
The Gunner then started fuming at the sight of this. "Hey, you shit stain! Get the fuck back here!" she yelled angrily.
"I got it!" yelled Fang before stepping forward and aiming his pistol right at the running Chihuahua. Right as he did this, a cop car came up and skidded to a halt so that its front fender was facing Fang. Since Rios was so small to begin with, the car provided perfect cover as he ran away. "Damn!" cursed Fang angrily.
"Don't stop!" snarled his sister before slapping the back of his head. "Come on, put what I taught you to good use and I might not beat the shit out of you later!" she ordered. –Oh yeah, almost forgot.-
She was right though. It was time to put what he was taught to good use.
Fang drew his right arm back and took in a deep breath. He envisioned the target behind the cop car and he quickly calculated the distance. A smirk then slithered onto the weasel's face. –See you in hell.- Swinging his arm with all his might, Fang brought his arm in a right to left arc before firing at the perfect angle.
Time seemed to slow as Fang could visibly see the bullet fly to the right before steadily curving to the left. Rios continued to run, scared for his life since he had to get back to his hotel room to get more weapons. The Chihuahua felt a draft at the side of his head and he looked over with his peripheral vision. 'Is that a bullet?' wondered the Heavy Weapons user. That was his last thought.
The bullet smashed into his right temple, going right through his skull and into his brain. Blood shot out of the bullet wound before Rios fell to the left because of the impact.
Fang had heard the skull piercing sound and smirked. –Yep, I am indeed a badass.-
Before he could bask in the thought of a good kill, Bayonet grabbed the back of his jacket and pulled him away. They still had to run from the cops and get back home.
One down seven to go! But before we get to the second kill, I have some plans for Fang!
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