Author's notes: I have finally returned! I was busy with Tales of Symphonia: Second Chance, but I'm taking a break to give you more humor! That and I want to work on these more and get more reviews. (HINT, HINT)

And now, disclaimer! However, due to financial difficulties, and to avoid possible lawsuits, my muse will be the long dead author, Music in the Dark! He also is my beta reader, for some strange reason…

MitD: Raenef the 6th owns nothing, hahahahahahahar! (spazzes on the ground, lying in a body cast. Don't ask.)

Me: Um, right. Let's just get on with it already…

Skit number one: Colette's actual taste in music

Lloyd, Genis and the rest of the gang were just sitting in Colette's house, doing nothing and were frankly, quite bored. Once you fixed the two worlds, life really lost interest. Suddenly, Lloyd's nerve cells in his brain were randomly revived, and he actually had a good idea!

"I know. Let's turn on some music; it'll help us think of something to do." He said, thinking that Colette listened to some pretty regular music. What they didn't know is that Colette wasn't as innocent as she seemed.

Lloyd walked over to her stereo system and turned it on. (I'm making them have technology like ours, so it makes sense.) He listened carefully for words, and he finally heard some, but what he heard was a quiet whisper:

Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor; let the bodies hit the floor…

Lloyd and the others were confused by the music and cranked it up louder for them to hear. If only they knew what was coming…

Let the bodies hit the… (tiss, tiss) FLOOOOOR! (Rock guitar plays)

At this, Lloyd and the others leapt back with fright as the music pounded onward. "SOMEBODY TURN IT OFF!" Lloyd shouted, and was about to use his swords to break it when a hand reached out and turned it off.

Everyone looked up to see Colette standing there, looking happy and ditzy as she always was. "Hi, guys! Do you like my music?" She asked, ignoring everyone's stares and mutterings of "Psycho…"

Lloyd stepped forward and said "Colette, I didn't know you listened to music like that."

Colette merely smiled and said "Lloyd, you silly person. What, did you actually think I was so innocent?"

Oh, if only they knew…if only they knew that Drowning Pool wasn't the only band on that C.D…

Skit number two: Yggdrasill's true feelings

Yggdrasill was sitting in his sleeping quarters in Derris-Kharlan where he had called a meeting with his fellow subordinates. Of course, he hardly ever slept, but he saw how people were affected when they slept, how they would wake up and be refreshed, so he decided to try it himself once in awhile.

Kratos and Yuan were there, but Pronyma was absent, due to what she said was her Grand Cardinal duties, even though she doesn't have a ranch.

"Alright, Yggdrasill, what's this about?" Yuan asked, wishing to leave quickly to work on his secret Renegade duties, which actually only consisted of pacing in his room and shouting at random people and Botta.

"I've called a meeting to discuss something with you two. There are rumors going around that say I'm gay, and I want to squash them here and now. I am most certainly not gay!" He said, subconsciously squeezing his hands into fists as if to squish the throats of those who spoke badly of him.

Kratos and Yuan exchanged glances a moment before Kratos stepped for ward and said to his former apprentice "Lord Yggdrasill, I'm sorry to break it to you, but you really are gay. You wear those ridiculous clothes and you have rainbow-colored wings. You can't really get gayer than that."

Yggdrasill stood up angrily and yelled "I'm not gay! I am homosexual, dammit!"

Kratos blinked and said "Sir, that's the same thing."

Yggdrasill shook his head and said "No it's not. Do I look happy to you?"

At this, both Yuan and Kratos smacked themselves on the forehead, wondering how the hell this guy got to be where he was today with that kind of thinking.

Skit number three: Genis is a pyromaniac

Genis and the group were fighting monsters, and had just finished the fight. Well, almost. Genis was having a little trouble.

"Fireball! Fireball! Why won't you die?" Genis shouted, launching countless fireballs at his foe.

Lloyd and the others watched on with meager interest as Genis continued his onslaught of fire when Lloyd decided to take notice of something. "Hey, is it just me, or does Genis use fire an awful lot more than his other magic spells?" He asked out loud to everyone.

Colette sat there a moment and replied "You know, I think Lloyd's right. Genis does use fire a lot. Maybe it's his favorite element?"

Lloyd thought about it a moment and shook his head. "No, that's too obvious. Wasn't there a word for this sort of thing?" He looked to Professor Raine. "Well, Professor?"

Raine considered it before replying "Yes, there is. It's called pyromaniac. It means the person likes to use fire or be around fire to an almost ridiculous standard." Looking out at Genis, she observed him continuously trying to roast his opponent. "Genis does use fireball a lot. In fact, it's the spell I see him practice the most. He uses it to make a campfire, to cook, to fight…" she faded off.

Maybe Genis is a pyromaniac?

(Dear god and all Kratos fans, forgive me. I was sitting on my computer when I came up with this one, and my music track was interrupted and froze on the sound IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! True story, I swear.)

Skit number four: Kratos' error

Kratos was hard at work on the supercomputer of Derris-Kharlan. It had crashed three times on them, and no one was motivated enough to do anything about it, leaving Kratos to be forced to fix it.

He was working on one of the panels that handled the computer's memory, when Yuan walked in to check on him. "Kratos, are you still at work on the supercomputer?" He asked, concerned that the computer was actually in bad enough shape for him to work on it for 3 hours!

Kratos stopped his work for a moment before yelling to Yuan, "Well, if no one else is going to fix this, I believe that means it's going to take some time to correct it." He then unfortunately dropped his wrench to the ground and cursed under his breath as he retrieved it.

Yuan tried to discern what Kratos had said, but it only sounded to him like a bunch of mumbling. "What did you say?" he yelled.

Kratos grabbed the wrench and quickly brought his head up in frustration. "I said, if no one's going to fix this, then I belie-" CLANG! Kratos had been interrupted by his own mistake of rushing, which unfortunately led to him dropping his wrench hitting his foot. Jumping from the sudden pain in his foot, he rammed his head into the panel he was working on, unfortunately connecting two wires filled with electricity. (Ooh, that's gotta sting!) He then lost control of his body and was caught on his final sound "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" (It's pronounced EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, but I wanted to make it funny. SO LAUGH ALREADY!)

Yuan listened to this new noise, and quickly investigated. Upon seeing him in his…frozen…state, he laughed his ass off and when he finally calmed down; he wiped the tears from his eyes and sent for one of his subordinates.

"Quickly, get me a camera and a tricycle. Now!" He demanded.

The servant stuttered in response "B- but sir, shouldn't we be trying to help him instead of filming it-eep!" he was stopped when Yuan grabbed his shoulders and shook him violently.

"Do you realize the blackmail opportunities I can get from this? I would finally have something to embarrass him after all these years! Now go do it!" Yuan yelled, and then shoved him outside.

That day would later be known as the Day of Revenge, which was signified by the mass destruction and murder caused by Kratos' wrath when he found copies of the video, showing him riding a tricycle and screaming "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Skit number five: The Sages are all Pyromaniacs!

Lloyd and co. were currently on a trip to visit Asgard at Raine's insistence to visit. They were up at the main attraction, the ruins where the ceremony for the summon spirit of wind was held. Raine herself was currently studying the ruin, when her "Ruin-senses" tingled. Yes, you read right, her "Ruin-senses" tingled.

Now, Raine hadn't told anyone about her "Ruin-senses" seeing as how they seemed to just be a crazy idea. But she was starting to see it was more than that. On more than one occasion, she had had these feelings, and it was soon followed after by someone destroying a valuable piece of history.

On this occasion, she quickly searched around to see someone skulking over to one side of the ruin. She watched as he stared at the ruin, and then proceeded to walk up to it and just simply kick it. This kick was enough to get Raine to twitch, but she merely discarded it and turned back to her observations.

But she was not to have peace today. No sir, not Raine. The skulking man decided that the first kick wasn't enough, so he proceeded to start repeatedly kicking the ruin, which caused it to start to crack due to the continuous force. Raine heard this and turned back again to see him kick the ruin and cause a small chunk to fall off. This was to be this man's end, dooming himself to a painful punishment by Raine.

Lloyd and co. aren't sure of how it happened, but the next thing they knew, they saw the Professor chasing the man with a flamethrower around the ruin, using the flamethrower to char the man as they raced around.

"Don't feel like touching the ruin now, do you? Huh? HUH!?" Raine yelled as she chased him.

Lloyd watched and observed as Genis followed Raine as she ran, or to be more precise, he stared at the flamethrower. "Hang on, I thought Genis was the pyromaniac?" he thought out loud.

Kratos walked up and replied "Who do you think he got it from, you?"

Lloyd took this into thought and decided it was true. 'Yep, this definitely proves it,' he thought as he watched Genis join the fray, now chasing after Raine's newly acquired flamethrower. 'The Sages are all Pyromaniacs.'

Author's notes: Haha, that was good. I haven't laughed like that in ages. It feels refreshing.

MitD: Hey, wait a minute. You didn't get that Kratos idea from listening to music. You got it from me, when I was at a ball game and I was high on Diet Dr. Pepper.

Me: …Shut up. WHO'S THE AUTHOR HERE? (Slams MitD into solitary confinement) Now then, (smiles as if nothing happened), Read and Review!