A/N: The biggest of "Thank You's goes out to my Beta and Co-writer of this chapter; Shelbylou!
It is a joy to work with you and I couldn't have done it without you
WARNING: Keep Those Tissues handy.
"What the hell are you doin', Probie?"
"Tony?"
"Who else, McGoo?"
"But, you're…"
"Dead? Yeah, I know. Thanks for that."
"OH, God, Tony! I'm so sorry! It should have been me!"
"Hey! Probie! Stop it! I didn't mean it like that! I'm sorry man. You tried. You did your best, you really did. You should be proud of yourself."
"How? How can I be proud of myself when you're gone?"
"Timothy no middle name McGee, you listen to me! Stop this!"
"I can't, Tony!"
"Don't make me "Gibbs-slap you, Probie!"
"You can do that?"
"No, but… Hey, that's beside the point!"
"I can't help it, Tony."
"Yes, you can. You're stronger than this, Probie."
"Not without you, not like this."
"Probie, you really not goin' to my funeral?"
"What are you talking about?"
"If you don't pull yourself outta this you won't be at my funeral and then I really will head slap you!"
"Tony, I … You know…"
"Probie, this isn't' the first time you've lost an agent, a teammate, or a friend."
"You think that makes it any easier?"
"It should"
"Not possible Especially when…"
"When what, Probie?"
"When it's my fault you're gone!"
"Probie, we've been through this."
"Doesn't change anything, Tony"
"No, you're right, McGee, it doesn't. So learn how to get on with your life in spite of it! "
"I can't."
"You mean you won't Come on McGoo, help me out here!"
"No, I mean I can't"
"McLiar. You know, you never were very good at lying."
"I'm not lyin' Tony."
"Hmph. So, you comin' to my funeral or not?"
"Course, I'll be there."
"Not if you don't pull yourself outta this."
"All right!"
"Timothy?"
"Ducky's here for you , Probie."
"What? Where"
"Waiting for you to wake up."
"I can't."
"Come on Probie, you owe it to him. Don't put him through this, McWhiney"
"Tony, you sound like you'd rather I be happy you're gone!"
"Course not, Probaliscious, but doesn't mean I wanna see you curl up and just give up on everything either."
"Timothy, can you hear me? I do wish you would wake up, young man. I realize you're hurting, but you are not alone! I really do think you would want to be in attendance at Anthony's funeral tomorrow and if you don't wake up and force yourself out of this state, you will not be able to go and will be that much more traumatized for it later."
"You heard the man, Probie. Don't you know by now, I always know what I'm talking' about?"
"Don't go there with me, Tony!"
"Sorry, man. Look just snap yourself outta this and be there for me, hell, for Abby, for Ziva, for Ducky, for Palmer. Be there for Gibbs. I don't care how you do it but just be there. I gotta go now, man. Don't let me down, Probie."
"I won't Tony. I'll be there."
"Good! If you're not, I'm sending Kate after your ass!"
"I promise, I'll be there."
Tim's eyes snapped open, and as he looked around his eyes met those of Ducky's. The M.E. smiled warmly at him.
"Timothy! You're awake. I am so glad to see it my boy!"
"Its' Tony's fault." Tim quietly announced unexpectedly.
"I beg your pardon? What is Anthony's fault?" Ducky asked carefully,
"That I'm awake. He told me if I didn't go to his funeral, he'd head slap me and sic Kate on me." Tim said quietly. "Ducky, when's his funeral?"
"Tomorrow afternoon my dear boy."
"Can you promise me now, that I'll be there? No matter what happens Ducky, I have to be there!" Tim vowed with a startling conviction given his present condition.
"All right, young man. But that will require some effort on your part! That includes eating and functioning beyond what you've been recently doing." Ducky quietly admonished.
"I know, Ducky. Where are my parents? Where's Sarah?"
I sent them back to their hotel to get some rest. Timothy, if you promise me that you will stay with us this time, I shall be able to let them know so they can get some sleep and will be able to visit you this evening.
"Ducky, I can't see anyone right now. Please, I just need to go to Tony's funeral." Tim said unexpectedly with an edge of sorrow.
"Whatever do you mean Timothy? Your family have been worried about you."
"I don't deserve anyone's worry. Please Ducky, don't let them waste their time on me." The young man said quietly.
"Timothy, whilst I do understand what you are thinking, no one can even start to comprehend how you are feeling. But you really need to reconsider the way in which you are thinking at this moment. Anthony's death was not your fault my dear boy and regardless of whatever unwarranted guilt you have, you are still deserving of the love from your family and friends, young man."
"No, Ducky. I'm not! Since, I'm awake, I need to take care of some things. Can you help me, Ducky?" Tim finally looked back at the M.E.
"Certainly, what is it you need me to help you with?"
"I need to make my statement and I need to make it to the Director."
"And your team?'
"NO!"
"Why ever not?
"They don't need to hear from me."
"Abigail is beside herself with worry about you, young man. Do not continue to cause her more pain!" Ducky rebuked.
"I know, Ducky. Can't you call her and tell her I'm okay. Please? I can't handle talking to her right now."
"Yes, well, I'll grant you my understanding on that matter. I will get the nurse to bring you some food and will make your calls for you, although, if I had any sense, I would hand you the phone and tell you to make them yourself. These are the steps you need to take in order to move on. You need to take these steps to move on."
At the flash of intense pain that flooded Timothy's eyes, Ducky clamped his mouth shut and laid his hand firmly on Tim's shoulder before heading out to get the young man the nourishing meal he so desperately needed. Despite Tim being given the nutrients his body needed to heal, through the IV that was still hooked up to his young friend, Ducky knew that Timothy needed to start eating regular meals again, if anything to try to regain some sense of normality to his life. He made his way over to the nurses' station and requested some food before making the promised calls.
"Director's Office."
"This is Doctor Mallard. I need to speak with Director Vance, please."
"Dr. Mallard, this is fast. You've made progress already?"
"Yes, well, I'm not sure how long this willingness to stay with us will hold. But, Timothy has asked to speak to you to make his statement."
"I'll be right there. I'll tell Gibbs his agent's awake."
"No, Director. Timothy is refusing to see or speak to his team. He does wish for Abigail to know he is awake. But that is all he wishes to have happen in that regard."
"I don't understand Doctor. They're his team."
"And he currently feels as though he is undeserving of them. We must respect his wishes or run the risk of losing him back into his former state. The only reason he has given for wanting to remain with us at the moment, is to make certain that he is able to attend Anthony's funeral tomorrow. This is as I suspected I'm afraid."
"All right Doctor, I'll be there shortly. I'll talk to Ms. Scuito first."
"Thank you, Director." Ducky ended the call.
Vance got up from behind his desk and headed down to the forensics lab. When he got there, he was shocked to see the state his Forensic Scientist was in. She looked even more forlorn and lost than Gibbs and Ziva. Vance shook his head and remembered the lost looks on their faces when he'd passed by overhead and paused at the railings to look down at them.
"Ms. Scuito?" Vance asked to the eerily silent room.
"Director?" Abby crawled out from under her desk and stood at attention.
"I don't mean to sound drab, but are you all right?" he asked with concern.
"No, Sir….I'm not, I don't think I will be all right ever again." She honestly told him.
"Believe me, Ms Scuito, I understand."
"No Sir. I don't think you do. Tony was my big brother and Timmy and I …well, before he got drafted by Gibbs, we dated and …"
Abby started to pace nervously, the movements somehow seeming wrong given her present state of mind. Vance reached out and placed his hand on her elbow in an effort to still his forensic specialist.
"Miss Scuito……Abby!I get it. I know this is hard for you, Dr. Mallard has asked me to give you a message. He said Agent McGee is awake."
"He is? Oh that's so great! I need to see him" Abby got excited.
"You can't." Vance told her sadly.
"What? Why not?"
"Because he's refusing to see anyone except Dr. Mallard and myself." Vance told her sympathetically.
Hurt momentarily flashed through Abby's eyes, only to be replaced by anger a moment later. "Why? Why you?"
"He wants to make his statement about what happened in the warehouse. I'm afraid you'll have to speak to Dr. Mallard about the rest of it."
Abby's eyes narrowed slightly at the directors last comment
"Director, Timmy's not asking for you just because he needs to give you his statement."
"What do you mean?"
"He could give his statement to anyone! Oh my God, he's asking for you so he can give his notice! He's gonna resign. I bet he thinks you're gonna fire him and he wants to save you the trouble and maybe salvage his record. Oh no Timmy! Leon,I guarantee that's what he wants to see you about!"
"You may be right, Ms. Scuito, but I won't know until I speak with him and won't give way to speculation right now."
Vance's comments seem to fall on deaf ears as Abby seemed too lost in her theory
"You can't let him do this! This job meant everything to Tim!"
"Apparently, not everything Ms. Scuito." Vance reminded her gently with a tinge of sadness in his voice.