A/N Hey guys! Sorry this is a few days late, but I was actually in Edinburgh with my family, and it was kind of a detox cause I didn't bring my laptop or had any time to go on the internet really! I had such a nice time, took a week off work to go. Unfortunately though, I actually suffered from frequent anxiety attacks. They weren't panic attacks, but the anxiety was strong enough to dampen my mood on numerous occasions...I know I don't always handle stressful situations the best, but this is the first time I was almost unable to fully relax on a holiday. Briefly, I thought maybe it was some sort of withdrawal symptom from social media or something but I have actually been suffering from anxiety like this for a few months now, I just thought it was from work and thought once I went on a holiday it would be okay...Apparently not. Anxiety disorders are very very common in my family, so I'm a bit scared about what this means :(

But anyway, now that I made you read that, on to the chapter! x

DISCLAIMER: This fic contains views/opinions/actions etc that may be controversial. A major part of the story is about cheating, and I just want to say that just because I write about it, there is no piece of me that supports such behaviour. If reading about this type of thing is not your cup of tea, you are free to read something else. Thanks. :) x

"You're cute when you're sleeping."

[7]

"I'll be back tomorrow, all right? Don't worry!"

Ed managed a tentative smile as Derrick grabbed her in a fierce hug, squeezing her for a moment. When he pulled back, she wrapped her coat tighter around her.

It was cold so early in the day, a chilly breeze accompanying the low temperature. The only thing Ed wanted to do was curl up in bed until the soldiers woke them up for training, but Derrick had told her about his impromptu trip and, after leaving him yesterday, she felt obliged to see him off.

"I won't worry – you'll be with family, right?"

Derrick nodded, a wide smile on his face. His train was due in a few minutes, and as the seconds ticked by he seemed to get even more jumpy – such was his excitement.

"Of course I will, Eddy." His smile turned soft. "I can't believe it's been so long since I've seen Barbara."

The train's loud whistle cut off whatever reply Ed could've had, and a moment later the train slowed to a stop in front of them. The train station was packed, and Ed and Derrick were promptly pushed around by busy people pushing their way in and out of the train.

"See you!" Ed yelled, waving.

Derrick jumped on the train and turned back to her, waving through a window.

Soon, the train started moving, Ed watching as it vanished on the horizon.

It was a forty minute train ride to Eastern Central, and Derrick was going to be coming back tomorrow.

Somehow, it made her breathe a sigh of relief, tension she wasn't even aware existed leaving her shoulders.

When she got back to the academy dorms everyone was awake and bustling back and forth. By the swarm of people heading towards the Mess Hall, she figured breakfast hadn't ended yet.

Her stomach grumbled as though to voice its delight, and Ed listened to it, making her way towards the crowd. As she waited in line, she spotted Roy and Maes sitting quietly at the far end table and her heart stuttered.

Was she literally going to sit next to Roy? Would he talk to her?

Crap, she had avoided him all day yesterday, what if he was angry? The last thing she needed was an argument breaking out in front of all these people.

When she reached the end of the queue, she took her time choosing her food, even though she already knew what she'd get. She tried to get her thoughts in order, banish the embarrassment and excitement and confusion from her body. She needed to go up to him and talk to him – no big deal. What had happened – it wasn't anything new. Everyone did it.

Just because thinking back at it now was making her cringe at the obvious need she had shown him didn't mean she needed to put the spotlight on it by avoiding him. It was best she pretended she didn't give a shit.

By now her tray was relatively full, and she quickly grabbed a small carton of juice before heading – with a burst of confidence – towards her friends.

She slammed her tray down next to Roy's and promptly sat down.

"Morning."

Just don't look at him. You'll be fucking fine.

"Good morning!" Maes chirped. He and Roy hadn't appeared to be conversing when she'd come, so she supposed she hadn't cut off their discussion.

She saw Roy's head turn towards her from the corner of her eye, but she kept her gaze firmly on her tray.

She practically felt his smirk. "Guess someone remembered we still exist."

Of course he'd comment on it. Fucking hell.

Her face felt hot as she grit her teeth and stubbornly refused to look at him. "Didn't know a day without me made you so sad."

He snickered, the sound reaching her ears and making her face redden further. "I was heartbroken."

Her face burning, she whipped her head around to him. "Fucking hell!" she yelled, embarrassment consuming her very core. How could he say things like that after...after...He was so composed it pissed her off!

Had she literally been the only one affected by that night? How could someone have such an intimate moment with someone else and not be affected?

She realised her mistake when their eyes clashed, and she paused, staring into the depths of his irises. Her heart picked up the pace it was beating with, and she stuttered pathetically.

"W-What's your p-problem?"

Roy stared at her silently, calculatedly. It was what he did when he tried to open her up and read her like a book, and it made her feel so fucking exposed. And after that night together, when she'd showed him how vulnerable...

She wasn't hungry anymore.

Roy's silence felt like years but, when he spoke, he averted his gaze and looked kind of...confused, and it made Ed frown.

"I don't have a problem. Just stating the truth." The little moment was over and his smirk returned.

Ed huffed and grabbed her juice, opening a hole by stabbing the straw into the carton. She glanced at Maes as she drank, who had remained mysteriously silent.

You never really knew what to expect with Maes. His silence could mean so many things, since he got lost in his thoughts often, though it was all too common for him to be studying someone's interactions, and for some reason she had a feeling that was what he was doing right now.

Why else would he be staring at her and Roy with slightly narrowed eyes? That was an 'I'm trying to figure you out' stare right there.

"So," she started conversationally. "What've you guys been up to?"

The change of topic snapped Maes out of it completely, and he turned his wide grin towards her. "I got Gracia's number!"

Ed actually managed to smile. "That's great. Now you can stop 'accidentally' passing by the flower shop every day just to see her."

"Oh but that's not the best of it!" Maes gushed, practically glowing. Ed waited as his grin turned mischievous. "I've got a date this afternoon!"

Ed rolled her eyes, snorting. "Congrats."

Roy's chuckle made her jump – fuck, she really needed to get herself under control – and as he leaned further on the table, his elbow brushed hers. She instantly felt the blush.

"You haven't told her the best bit," he teased, seemingly not having even realised they'd touched. She was probably just overanalyzing.

Maes groaned, and Roy's smirk widened. "I didn't mean to!"

"What happened?" Ed asked.

Both pairs of eyes turned to her. Maes huffed.

"Roy's just being a jerk cause I tripped."

"In front of her," Roy added.

Maes rolled his eyes. "Well, yeah, but still. It was an accident and we laughed it off."

"Maes," Roy started, greatly amused. "You fell on her."

Maes groaned again and, seeing he wasn't going to be explaining, Roy turned to Ed, eyes sparkling with mirth. "He was so happy he got her number he started being clumsy and, not only knocked a pot of flowers over, but proceeded to trip over the pot and fall right on top of her. Hilarious."

Ed scoffed, laughing as she imagined the moment. "Were you there?"

Roy nodded. "Nearby, for moral support." He scoffed. "When I heard the crash and came inside to see what the hell was going on...Damn."

Ed threw her head back and laughed, imagining Maes' fumbling apology and Gracia's red face. And Roy's priceless expression.

It made her forget for a moment, and it reminded her of that night, when Roy'd made her forget what was weighing her down. As much as she hated to admit it, it felt really good to be with him. He awakened parts of her she didn't even know existed, and she felt exhilarated, ready to explore the unknown parts of her. With him.

Suddenly, she was feeling a bit too hot, and her laughter died down. Just imagining being alone with him, letting him explore her...

The blush was back, furious as ever.

Roy stared at her as Maes babbled excuses, and for a second she panicked, thinking he'd somehow seen the images her mind was providing her. She averted her gaze, biting her bottom lip softly. Her fingers idly toyed with a napkin on her tray, making tiny tears.

Roy was silent next to her.

"Sooo, Ed! Where's your precious BF?" Maes wriggled his eyebrows, and his question made Ed cringe.

Stubbornly refusing to look at Roy, she stammered, "H-He left. For the time being."

Maes leaned on the table. "Oooh, where's he gone?"

Ed blushed when Roy's upper arm brushed hers. "He's, um, gone to Barbara, his, um, cousin."

"Come on!" Maes exclaimed, laughter in is voice. "Give us some back-story!"

Ed internally groaned and tightened her grip on the napkin. "Well," she started,"she moved to Eastern Central eight years ago when she got married. She and Derrick had always been kind of close and he hasn't seen her in a while...He just thought that, now that he's in Central, he should pay her a visit."

Maes nodded furiously. "That's great!"

Something seemed to occur to him and he changed the subject, and Ed was able to retreat to her thoughts undisturbed.

He continued to babble, but Ed had completely zoned out. Her ears picked up on Roy's voice when he spoke with Maes, but other than that the guilt was back, and it was making her unable to concentrate.

She couldn't do this to Derrick. He was a good person – it wasn't his fault she felt partly pressurised to be with him.

But, most of all, she'd figured out she wasn't ready to get married. During these months she'd been here, she'd realised there was more to the world than Resembool – more people, more places, more knowledge to be attained.

A life with Derrick, stuck in Resembool, had nothing to offer.

As loath as she was to admit it, she was scared. Her life was spiralling out of control and she just wished for it to slow down for a moment for her to think. Being with Roy seemed to have that effect. Time just paused – everything irrelevant to the moment just vanished, the only thing remaining being his soft lips and the warmth of his arms.

What was she thinking? Her mum would be mortified. She hadn't raised her like this. Ed loved her to death, but she sometimes wondered if Trisha was trying to live through her. She'd married at such a young age, and now her father had left them. Since Ed was her only daughter, Trisha wanted everything to be perfect for her. It was like she was afraid of someone leaving Ed in the future, so she wanted to find someone suitable herself.

She just failed to take Ed's feelings into account, going by the saying 'mum knows best'.

By the time she snapped out of her thoughts, she'd torn the piece of paper in her hands into tiny little pieces, and was looking around to an almost empty room.

It took her a second to realise someone had tapped her shoulder. She looked over, eyes connecting with Roy's slightly concerned ones.

"We have class," he said bluntly. "Maes has already gone."

Ed blinked, trying to orient herself. "Right." She stood, looking at Roy's arms which were full of books. Had he left and then come back for her? Why the hell hadn't she noticed?

"I need my books," she said hastily, the situation finally dawning on her. "Are we late?"

Roy shrugged. "No, but if we go all the way to your dorm we will be."

Ed groaned, realising what she had to do. She never went to class without her things, but, hopefully, the General wouldn't notice. The lecture hall was huge anyway – if she sat behind someone tall at the far back of the room, she'd be invisible.

She sighed. "Fine, let's go." She was too much of a coward to ask him why he came back for her, but appreciated it nonetheless.

She barely paid attention to the lecture. Sat a few rows behind Maes and next to Roy, the only thing that registered was General Haymon's rough voice.

He carefully explained the importance of choosing the right words and thinking before you spoke, while giving a guideline and pattern of correct speech. He babbled about all the reasons why a politician became successful, and Ed idly wondered why she'd ever need this, since the last thing she wanted to become was a politician.

She supposed, however, that some people in this room would someday rise up the ranks, and would earn the title of someone so important, they were going to be required to give a public speech or two and hold a certain image for the public.

Well, that person was certainly not going to be her.

She'd just copy Maes' notes later, since Roy seemed to be quite immersed in that dog sketch he was currently focusing on.

The person in front of her was a giant man, so she could easily rest her head down and close her eyes for a bit without being noticeable.

She awoke to Roy prodding her side.

Her eyelids felt glued together and a yawn took over just as she opened her mouth to speak. She heard Roy chuckle and lean closer. It took a second for her to realise and her heart went into overdrive.

"You're cute when you're sleeping."

Ed froze, her whole body sucking in all the heat from around her and making it burn.

Without thinking, she jumped to her feet so fast she had to pause, dizziness making her unsteady. When she looked at Roy she was surprised to find him with a serious expression. She'd expected a teasing smirk, but instead his brows were furrowed and, for the second time today, he looked slightly confused and – dare she say – concerned.

Ed was starting to think she wasn't the only one who was affected by that night, but Roy was simply better at disguising it.

Turning back at the room, she realised everyone was already making their way out, class having officially ended minutes ago. Had Roy been staring at her sleeping?

"I-I'd better go."

With that, she practically jogged away, yet again surprised and slightly perplexed when Roy didn't follow her.

She hadn't spoken to Roy at all since the lecture, and she was currently engrossed in an alchemy book. Sat in her little corner at the library, she read carefully, sucking in information like a vacuum.

She'd found this place the first day she came to Central and had since been in love with it. Its size was such a contrast from the small library Resembool offered Ed had sworn she'd easily spend the rest of her life in here.

It had made Roy laugh, but she wasn't going to think about him again.

She'd been here for a few hours now, and she felt calmer than she had all day. The library relaxed her and took her mind off her thoughts, though they still lurked at the back of her mind. Sometimes they were so persistent they would leave her unable to concentrate on her book. This time, she'd been able to fight the urge to get lost in her thoughts, though the knowledge that it was getting darker outside was making her glance out the window every now and then.

She couldn't explain it, but she was eager for night to come. Just one night ago she'd been with Roy. Tonight – she didn't know what would happen. Her heart wished for Roy to invite her over again, but the logical part of her was dreading it, because she knew that, if she wasn't with Roy, she would be thinking about him and betraying Derrick anyway.

Sighing heavily, she abandoned the book on the table and placed her hands over her eyes.

She hated herself so much sometimes. She just wanted to be happy, but more times than not she felt her happiness would mean the misery of others. So she opted for being a coward.

If she did the right thing and broke up with Derrick she'd disappoint everyone, especially her mum. And what if Roy never even wanted her for a long term relationship? It was wrong to pursue him, yet her heart wanted him so much sometimes she actually had the urge to cry. With him she felt something she'd never felt for Derrick, and suspected she never would.

But her mum would never approve of Roy, and Derrick would be left heartbroken and disgusted with her for falling for someone like him. Deep down, Ed knew Roy was a very good person – she'd seen it in his actions sometimes. He just liked to conceal his kindness and be a complete and utter bastard. And that was what Derrick saw – and that was what her mum would see.

Ed could feel the headache coming.

A warm hand rubbed her back, and Ed flinched, her wide eyes clashing with Roy's familiar midnight blue ones. This time, he was openly expressing concern, and Ed realised the position she'd been in must've made him think she was crying.

"Edeline?" he murmured gently. "Are you all right?"

The hand on her back never ceased its smooth caress, and Ed actually found it comforting. She felt herself relaxing, tension slowly leaving her body.

"I'm fine," she whispered. Roy's eyes scanned her face but, once he saw she wasn't actually crying, he seemed to relax as well.

He moved back, Ed feeling the loss of his warmth. He sat on the chair next to her, body facing her, and leaned forward so his arms rested on his thighs. He clasped his hand together, and the sight was so unusual to Ed it made her frown.

"Are we...all right?" Roy asked, his eyes piercing as he gazed at her.

Ed blinked. "W-What do you mean?"

Sighing, Roy pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know. After the night at my house you've seemed... distant." He caught her gaze and held it, making Ed gulp. "I don't like it."

Ed blushed, averting her eyes. "What did you expect? I- I'd never done anything like that before and..." She shook her head. She couldn't even begin to explain how guilty and confused and frustrated she felt.

"It's just that...Yesterday you avoided me completely, and today something is just...off about you."

Ed opened her mouth, but shut it when she realised she had no answer. Biting her bottom lip, she turned her head to stare blankly at the book she'd abandoned.

Roy was silent, and Ed eventually turned to him, blushing. "Why are you staring at me?"

"I'm trying to figure out if he was telling the truth."

Ed furrowed her brows. "Who was?"

Roy's expression turned dark as he spat, "Derrick."

Ed's eyes widened.

They'd spoken again? How did they end up meeting all the time? Ed was beginning to wonder who provoked whom, since she knew for a fact that Roy had been nowhere near them yesterday.

"A-And what did he say?"

Roy's eyes narrowed ominously, and he gazed at her severely. "The fucker said I made you cry."

Oh.

So Derrick had realised she'd been crying all night, but hadn't said anything.

Wincing, she avoided Roy's questioning stare, and felt her heart thudding painfully in her chest. She never wanted Roy to find out, because she just knew he'd think it'd been his fault she'd cried.

But it wasn't. The emotional breakdown just came at such bad timing. Ed had been holding herself together for so long – she hadn't even cried when she got her automail installed, even though it was such a big change and she ended up feeling insecure about her appearance. She'd bottled it all in, and the night with Roy had just made her feel so good, it made her realise she wasn't as happy as she thought herself to be – how trapped she was.

"Edeline?"

Ed blinked back into focus and looked at Roy, who was now staring at her, brows furrowed.

"It wasn't your fault," she assured, her headache now pounding. She sighed, rubbing her temple. "There's just...a lot on my mind."

Roy's fingers gently touched her cheek, making her breath hitch, and he moved a few blonde strands out of her face. She leaned into the touch, his fingers moving to caress her cheek.

"I can tell," he said, smiling sympathetically.

It was such a rare occurrence to see Roy looking so caring, but it just proved to her that, underneath all that sarcasm and rudeness, he had a heart.

She gazed at his face, his eyes warm and making her heart skip a beat.

Sighing, she shut her eyes, allowing Roy to take her stress away, to make everything pause just for a second so she could take a breath of fresh air.

"Come on," he mumbled, his fingers leaving her face and grabbing her hand. Ed opened her eyes, feeling slightly dazed and tired. She blinked, frowning at him confusedly as he stood up.

"Where're we going?" she asked, standing up as well.

"I'm taking you out for a drink. God knows you need it."

Still having a hold on her hand, Roy ushered her out of the library and towards his car. He paused, turning to her. "Would you prefer to walk?"

Night had completely fallen now, streetlights illuminating the roads and the moon shining brightly in the sky. The air was chilly but not necessarily cold, and Ed took a deep breath, feeling her clouded mind ease a bit.

"I like walking," she said, and Roy smiled, surprising her by leaning over and pecking her temple.

"Let's go."

Ed's face was on fire as they walked down the pavement. She didn't know where they were going, but Roy's casual stride had purpose it in so she supposed he had somewhere in mind.

Her hand was nestled snuggly in Roy's bigger one, his warmth seeping in her body and warming every inch of her.

She didn't think she needed alcohol to make her feel better; just taking a stroll with Roy, hand in hand, was making her mind slow down – it was making everything slow down. Already her headache had eased somewhat, and she was breathing easier.

The small but noticeable upward tug of her lips wasn't faked.

Roy slowed down outside a quaint looking building, with coloured lights on each table outside. Vines wrapped around the side wall, and Ed realised this was Maisy's Bar. She'd seen it plenty times during the day, but had never taken any interest in it.

She glanced at Roy, who was waiting to see her reaction.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"Do you come here often?" Ed looked up at him, wondering why she'd never been curious enough to ask where he spent most of his free time at. She'd always believed he wasted all his time with random girls, but now that she thought about it, the notion was ridiculous.

Roy smiled at her, and Ed caught a small dimple on his right cheek, made prominent by the lights around them. "I come here with Maes sometimes for a beer or two. It's a nice place."

Ed shrugged, feeling peculiarly elated. "Let's go then!"

Roy seemed to pick up on her boosted mood, because he smiled again, shaking his head, but followed her as she dragged him inside by his hand.

They entered together, Ed looking around in awe. When she passed this place during the day, she never expected it'd look so cosy and huge.

She turned to Roy when she noticed there was no free place in sight. "It's full."

"We'll find a corner, don't worry."

She let him pull her around, until they found a table in the right corner. Ed sat silently, finally releasing her hold on Roy's hand, while Roy opted for sitting next to her on the couch.

Since there was a second couch opposite them, Ed felt her cheeks heat up at Roy's choice.

As they waited for the waiter, she turned to Roy. "The music's not as loud here."

"Does it bother you?"

Ed shook her head. "I like it better." She pointed at her head sheepishly. "Headache."

Roy nodded, looking sombre, just as a waiter came over, smiling.

"Welcome to Maisy's Bar! Are you ready to order or would you like me to recommend something?"

Roy gazed at Ed questionably and the waiter followed, making Ed flush under the attention. "U-Um, w-wine would be cool. Red. I guess…"

Roy was trying – and failing miserably – to hide a chuckle at her stutter, and Ed glared at him briefly.

He turned to the waiter, cocky. "You heard the lady," he purred, earning an elbow in the side.

The waiter nodded and left, leaving Ed to hiss, "Can you not fucking do that?"

Roy smirked. "Why not? It's funny to see you all flushed and cute."

Ed could feel her face burning. "C-Cute!?"

"Very."

"Actually fuck you," she hissed, narrowing her eyes.

"If you're willing." Wink.

Acting on instinct, Ed pushed him, making him grab the table so he wouldn't fall embarrassedly on his ass in public. "The fuck is wrong with you, pervert!"

Roy chuckled, but his eyes turned soft, and he smiled like that again and Ed could see that freaking dimple and it made her pause.

"You already seem to be feeling better."

Ed blushed, turning to glare at the table. The waiter saved her from replying.

"There you go!" he said cheerfully, handing them two glasses of red wine.

"Can I pay you now?" Roy asked, already getting his wallet out.

The waiter seemed mildly surprised. "Oh, sure!"

Ed blinked, grabbing Roy's hand. "Why are you paying? I can pay for mine!"

Roy smiled. "I know, but tonight's my treat. I did drag you out of the library, which is basically a sin."

Rolling her eyes, Ed relinquished, but half because of what Roy said. She actually wasn't sure she had enough money on her, and didn't want to argue with him only to realise she had like a hundred cenz with her.

The waiter left, and Ed picked up her glass, taking a sip.

"Nice, isn't it?"

Ed hummed, taking another sip. "Do you think I'll get drunk?'

Roy snorted. "I doubt that will even make you tipsy, but who am I to judge? I don't know how you handle alcohol."

"I've never tried alcohol," she confessed. From the corner of her eye, she saw Roy pause and gaze at her. Maybe it was the tone of her voice that hinted towards a reason – but what other reason could she have other than her mother and Derrick thinking drinking got you in trouble? – or perhaps it was because he was shocked by the revelation.

She stared at her glass, her index finger tracing the rim. "It's nice."

The arm around her waist made her jump almost imperceptibly. Caressing her side, Roy slid her closer to him, until she was flush against his side.

Her face was getting hot again, her heart beating frantically as her mind tried to understand what was happening. Glancing at his face, she noticed it was completely blank. He was refusing to look at her and, after a few moments, she relinquished. His scent was alluring, drawing her closer and relaxing her, and, slowly, she rested her head on his shoulder.

Roy kept his arm around her, his thumb stroking her shoulder. Both were silent, but Ed wasn't uncomfortable. It was the silence she liked – the one where so many things were being told but no-one could hear them.

They drank their wine quietly, relishing each other's company, and by the time the glass was empty, Ed was feeling completely at ease. Her headache was gone, her mind finally seeming to stop throwing accusations at her.

Gratitude bloomed like a flower in her chest, but when she lifted her head to look at Roy to thank him, she found herself gazing into deep blue eyes. Just like that she was hooked, unable to look away as his irises pierced her soul.

Swallowing, her mouth opened on its own in a pant, her eyes wide and unblinking. "T-Thank you," she breathed. Her eyes inadvertently went to his lips, and her cheeks flushed.

Roy caught the action, his tongue appearing to lick his lips, and Ed was suddenly feeling way too hot.

"You don't need to thank me," Roy mumbled, his free hand coming to cup her warm cheek. His eyes reciprocated her previous action, staring at her lips.

At that moment everything paused. Roy's eyes remained on her lips, as though he was debating whether to lean forward or not.

It took Ed a moment to realise she was trembling, and she placed her hand on his nape, her fingers stroking the short hairs there.

When Roy still wasn't moving, she bit her lip, and his eyes snapped up to hers, fierce.

His hand slid downwards to her waist, while the other grabbed her thigh, pulling her closer. Her body was on fire and, when Roy pressed his lips against her cheek, Ed knew what she wanted.

Panting, she grabbed Roy's shoulder with her other hand as his lips trailed downwards, towards her neck. He bit the tender skin softly, taking it into his mouth and giving it a gentle suck.

Ed hummed, using the last vestiges of will she had to push him back before they did something stupid in public.

She could feel her cheeks burning, her core throbbing as she took in his equally flushed face and his hooded eyes. He licked his dry lips, the hand on her thigh gliding upwards to boldly grab her behind.

"Roy," she croaked, their mouths so close their lips brushed.

She knew what she wanted.

This was what she wanted.

Roy was what she wanted.

"I want you."

A/N Cheekyyy. Can you maybe guess what will happen next? ;p