I.
Ezreal has been acting distant. He still has the spark when he speaks, but it is dimmer than before. Something is wrong. But he will not tell her. What sort of best friend is she?
"Ezreal." She says one day. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing... there's just... well... there's this person... who I think is really cute."
"C-cute?" The word barely escapes the Demacian's lips.
"Yeah... they're... something special." He smiles warmly at her. "I don't know what to do. This feeling... it really only happens rarely."
Same, she wants to say. He's the first one to induce this sort of feeling within her. But all she can do is smile. What is worse than faking it with your own best friend?
"I'm happy you found someone like that," she says, trying to keep herself from shaking.
"Thanks, Lux. I hope you find 'em too."
I already have.
II.
She doesn't ask him about it again. And he makes no effort to tell her anything either. Today is a special day, and she only wants to treasure their friendship.
"Happy birthday, Ezreal. Even though I'm not feeling like myself lately, I still wanted to wish you a very happy birthday!" She hands him a box of chocolate cake.
Not saying a word, the explorer takes the cake from the mage and lightly sets it down on the floor, then reaches forward, grasping her in an almost unbearably tight hug.
"Thank you." he mumbles into her shoulder, honestly more grateful for her presence than the dessert she brought.
Surprised by his sudden hug, she tenses up… then relaxes against his frame. "Of course, Ezreal. It's your birthday!" Lux says with affection, holding onto him tightly. "Do you have any plans? B-because… well… it's been some time since we hung out and… well… I thought maybe we could spend your birthday together…"
Seeing Lux's happy expression nearly breaks Ezreal's heart when he pulls back, and he forces a small smile, though it is obviously a facade for the unbearable agony he is feeling inside. "…I-I actually do have plans." he lies, conjuring up the best poker face he could muster. "…but I really appreciate seeing you, Lux. You didn't have to get me a cake, you know…"
Slipping away completely, the explorer kneels down to pick up the cake, holding the box securely in his arms as he smiles wide at the Demacian, showcasing his pleasure for the delectable treat she'd delivered. "…but we'll make plans soon, alright?" he says, nearly tripping over himself physically as well as he walks back into his room, shutting the door with his back.
"Alright..." The mage says quietly as he slams the door.
She storms down the hallway, trying to hide her frustration. With her fists clenched at her sides, she tries to blink it all away.
"… Why is he acting like this?"
She sighs. He is always going to leave her in the dark, just to protect her. But it… it… hurt. She can feel the pain settle in her chest. He has always managed to make her smile and laugh, to forget about her worries, but… this strange feeling has been lingering for too long.
Closing the door of her own room behind her, she leans back, slumped against it. Alone. Again. The memory of Garen's departure is returning in her mind, his cape draped over his back. She buries her face into her knees, trying to shut it out.
No emotions. No emotions. You know better... Happy birthday, Ezreal…
III.
The Institute has fallen. The League of Legends has disbanded. Summoners and matches on the Fields of Justice are no longer part of Lux's everyday life. She has returned to Demacia, away from her escape. She's back in the manor, away from the hectic lifestyle. Away from her friends. Away from him.
But, she can't say she isn't satisfied. She sees Garen and Prince Jarvan IV much more frequently now, and they are slowly beginning to speak again. She will have to pick up reconnaissance again, which she rather dislikes. She'd rather just be a diplomat.
Ezreal has been freed, however, and she's happy. She's happy that he gets to wander about the lands of Runeterra, finally truly free. She cannot help but feel a bit sad, too. She won't see him around as much as she likes.
The days they spend apart grow wider and wider, and Lux finds herself preoccupied with thoughts of him. Despite the tactical training, the reading, and the trips, he always manages to wander into her thoughts. What is he doing today? Did he discover something new? Perhaps an artifact or a location? Even after promising to make plans after his birthday, they did not see each other. Maybe one day he will be prepared to tell her. She writes to him, but it goes unanswered. She hopes he is alive. Not just alive, but that he is well.
He was a champion. He knows how to survive. He must be fine; he's just busy. He has no time for someone of my caliber. Maybe it is time to discover myself again, she realizes. To find more books to read within the library. To visit the College of Magic and maybe start teaching there. Perhaps discuss future plans regarding Noxus with Jarvan IV and Garen and resolve them.
She has her own life from his, she knows this. Yet, her heart aches when she remembers this fact. They can never be together. They can never merge their lives into one. He has freedom, the one defining aspect of everything he ever was and everything he will be. She represents Demacia–justice and benevolence. That is who she is. These two virtues fall on the opposite ends of a spectrum, and where do they align before chaos ensues? Can they align? How much justice can one have before his or her freedom is restricted? Or how much freedom can one have before justice is jeopardized?
She knows. She knows there must be a balance. The desire to be a free bird, just like he is. The dream she will always pursue. The one challenge that she will always face, no matter how old she is.
She needs to be the wind underneath her own wings. She has learned that lesson long ago.