itachi is kinda a christian cuz he hears the lords words in his head when he goes to church on sundays but he doesnt hear him in his heart. sasuke doesnt believe in religion cuz what kind of god would let him get sunburn whenever he goes outside w out sunscreen? pain and kisame are the only true christians on the akatsuki only kinda cuz pain is multitheistic cuz he thinks god, milf god and madara are all real gods so hes prob gonna go to hell anyways but kisames a fish and we all know only humans and dogs go to heaven. orochimaru also wont go to heaven cuz hes a snake man sasori wont go to heaven cuz hes pinochio and obito wont go to heaven cuz hes a bad person
ITACHI GOT BACK UP
"jokes on you i was only pretending to be dead!" itachi gelatined only it wasnt actually itachi it was sasuke! sasuke killed itachi by throwing white zetsu at him then stole his body to wear like a suit
"itachi my man why do you sound like such a little bitch?" didera was askin the real questions
"cuz im not itachi im sasuke look" sasuke ripped of his itachi suit to reveal himself only his hatred wasnt strong enough so he couldnt rip it off he had to get a kunai and cut it and it was super gross cuz his hand moved into his itachi to cut it so it looked like itachis hand got sucked up into his body but the loose skin was still there and it gross and basically u didnt want to see it in person
"wait if ur sasuke then how did i eat ur body?" white zetsu said w that sexy voice of his while noming on sasukes itachi suit
"it was all a GENTJUTSU" sauske said with his less than sexy voice
"that make no fuckin sense" zetsu was right but who cares he was a fucking plant
"shut up zetsu" pain was sayin what everyone was thinking
"ok thats great but u cant stop us from killing konoha ur just one dude" konan was getting impatient cuz she needed to go watch the season finale of the office or something idk what konan does in her free time i dont think anyone knows
"not today" who the fuck nose which part sasuke meant that for but one thing was for sure. his ass was in trouble.
wow 420 words again i am on a roll