(A/N: Oh, how I miss EPOV! This chapter is a combination of EPOV and BPOV. Enjoy! Please leave reviews! This chapter, compared to the previous one, is a bit lighter… or heavier, depending on how you view it. =]
I noticed: lately I have been writing the chapters longer than usual. I hope you don't get bored at their lengths… hehehe
And, don't worry. I'm fine now. Thanks for your concerns. =] )
Chapter 7: Stalking
BPOV
"Are you fine?"
"Really. I am. Don't worry about me."
"It's hard not to."
I looked at Edward as he murmured those simple words. I was perplexed and a bit touched, to be honest. Edward and I's constant bickering seemed to subside after the incident at the male's comfort room. He became so much gentler and seemed to act more friendly towards me. It was making me question about a lot of things on how he views me now. If you asked me three days ago if I think Edward thinks of me as his enemy, I'll be immediate to answer "duh." But now, I'm not so sure anymore. Edward now, for example, taking me home in his car after we have seen the gruesome view earlier is not something you would expect every day.
"Don't act so tough," he murmured again. It seemed like he was talking to himself but I was sure it was directed to me.
"I'm not acting tough," I lied. "I'm fine, really."
"Well, at least we can now narrow down the suspects for this mischief. There are only about thirty people at the restaurant. It must have been one of them."
I shook my head at him. It could be that way, but it could also be like…
"What if that someone just followed me there? I mean, he or she could easily be there just by knowing I am going there as well. Rumours crawl like smoke at Meyer High. It's not so hard to go to the baseball game and be in the shadows to perform such thing to my car while we all were at the restaurant."
I know I was making sense. Edward seemed to contemplate arguing my view, but I know that he knows that I was right. He meekly nodded his head.
"Its kind for Jasper and Emmett to offer rides for Alice and Rose at the club. They needed to unwind. After all these incidents today… it's hard to wrap my head that all these things just happened today." I smiled at the end, trying to show him how fine I really am.
Then the memory hit me again.
My car, so sturdy and hard to be penetrated, but its glasses broken; its wheels flattened; vandalized; with blood dripping on its hood; and, a note taped on its side mirror bearing the words:
You could easily be inside this while I dismembered it like this.
Yup, not such sweet parting words for me.
I removed my shades and held my forehead while closing my eyes. It was my way to try to ease the memories out of my wearied mind.
"Don't you need to unwind as well?"
I jerked my head up and opened my eyes to show him how ridiculous he was being.
"Yup, having a party at the club is the best thing for me now. Show every people how I can make a record for the world's clumsiest dancer by tripping gazillion times."
Edward was still looking at the road while driving as he chuckled on me.
"Not a dancer, I see."
I arched my eyebrow in sarcasm. "Yes, the best dancer there is."
"You really are very interesting, Isabella Marie Swan."
I sighed. That remark again.
"And you are someone with a multiple personality disorder. On your first few weeks, you act indifferently with me. And now, all hostilities are suddenly gone."
He chuckled again. Oh, to hear that chuckle many a time! How could I be so lucky?
"I don't bring the hostilities. You are the one who acts all angry with me."
Yup, maybe he was right.
"What changed though? Why do you suddenly… see me? notice me?"
Edward was silent for a few moments, probably thinking through my question thoroughly before answering. I slumped in my seat, thinking that he wouldn't answer anymore.
After a few while, he finally spoke – his voice sounding careful.
"You seem not like what I thought you were. 'Don't judge the book by its cover.' I think I finally understand what it meant. And to be honest, it doesn't feel right to act… ungentle-manly towards you. You are still a lady, after all."
I huffed at him. Great.
"Gee, thanks for finally noticing that I am a lady. It makes me really flattered."
He shook his head at me and looked in my direction. I was determined not to look back. I was afraid he would saw how disappointed I felt at his words.
After a while of me not looking at him, he sighed and resolved to speak after all.
"I didn't mean it that way. I meant it as a good thing, actually. I'm not trying to offend you or anything."
"I'm not offended." I hope he didn't hear my voice quiver.
He sighed again. I just closed my eyes, pretending I'm about to fall asleep.
We were silent all throughout the ride to my home. I was closing my eyes all the time. And then, when the car yanked to a stop, probably we already reached our destination, I felt Edward stirring me to wake up.
I was about to open my eyes when I felt him got closer to me. I held my breath and stiffened slightly, but I decided to play unconscious, curious on what he was doing. His familiar vanilla and butterscotch scent are all over my senses. I felt my body automatically relax at his mere presence – probably really looking asleep on the outside.
Edward suddenly held my left hand and closed it to his. The electric current passed between us. I almost ended my act there and then but, fortunately, I regained my control: my curiosity on Edward's action getting the better out of me.
"Isabella…" Edward breathed near my face. It was like a drug to me – his cool breath. I hope my face wouldn't flush to reveal my act.
"Bella…" he breathed again. Why did he suddenly felt wanting to use my former nickname? Weird…
"Isabella… Bella…"
Oh, how I love hearing him speak my name so affectionately! He was like a Romeo – his voice even better sounding than Romeo's: the velvety musical voice seemed to me like the most perfect sound in my world – like a lover. How can one person be so perfect?
"Who are you? Really?" he continued with his musings. I continued my act.
"One moment you would act really unrefined for a lady. You would use words that are too vulgar… you'd act harsh in front of Tanya and the whole world… you'd flirt with different man… you'd wear too revealing clothes… you'd play dumb…
"And then the next, you'd be like this – so simple, so sweet-looking, yet so mature and full of wisdom. You'd refuse Mike and the other's coarse proposals… you'd act so tough on something so grotesque, wanting to protect all the important people in your life… it took all my effort to control myself not to hunt that someone who was doing all these things to you… I don't know why, but I felt it in me to need to protect you… you are so stubborn you wouldn't want protecting, but deep inside, I know it was killing you to see all these threats in your life…"
He was quiet for a heartbeat, until he continued speaking with his velvety soft and thoughtful voice.
"Isabella… Bella… who are you, really? Why would you need to go through all these tough, harsh things and pretend to be okay?"
And then, Edward's voice got lower but was more emotional than ever.
"And why do you torment all my thoughts, fuddle all of me, leave me worried and confused, and all the same, uncertain of wanting to really get too close to you. You are everything that makes me intrigued… interested… bringing more life into me…
"And yet, you are everything I should avoid, because you can't be her."
…
Edward was quiet after that. I was too, in a way. I felt myself wanting to tear upon his words, but I should contain it.
Edward likes me… but he shouldn't. He, himself, said that. He should avoid me, because I was not her.
Her.
One simple word that crushed my already shattered heart.
Who could be the lucky her? Was she someone from his past? Someone he can't forget? Someone that had long captured his heart, but didn't bring it back to him?
Was that the reason why Edward wouldn't go out with other women? Why he always seemed so mature for his age? That he had gone through a terrible heartache, probably a loss of a beloved one, that's why he was tougher and was more thoughtful of his actions?
It rips my heart to know that I couldn't compete with someone so solid in Edward's heart and someone I don't even know who.
Well, I shouldn't compete in the first place. There's no competition. There is just me, having delusions about Edward, and, well, I should avoid him, anyway. That's what I told myself in the first place. I would avoid him. I will. Because I'm too rotten for him. And it's the right thing to do.
Isn't it they say when you love someone, you set him free if he wants to?
I don't know if it's love for me – this thing I feel for Edward. Maybe it's just infatuation at its heightened form. Maybe it's more. Either way, I will set Edward free. I wouldn't torment him anymore of these thoughts he has of me. I could sense it's just on its first stage. It shouldn't move forward from there. It should just stay there.
But just thinking of it already makes me feel numb. Just thinking of my pretend hostility towards him makes me swell with agony. It's just so easy to like Edward! It's like breathing – it feels so routinely to be kind and be near him!
But I need to do this. If not for myself, for Edward.
I had my resolve before finally opening my eyes – my resolve to act indifferent to Edward. It's what he needs. Even though it tears me up inside – however cheesy that sounds like – I would do it. Besides, I normally act slut anyway. It's what Edward always hates.
"You're finally awake," he said with a crooked smile.
My breath hitched. I almost was about to smile as a response to his, but I held it. I shouldn't let Edward's smiles affect me. I should start the indifferent act now.
"Yup. What, thinking of sleeping with me?" I asked seductively. I almost gagged deep inside. This is Edward being the gentleman that he is, and I was ruining it.
Nice, Isabella. Be strong, Bella.
Edward's eyes widened in surprise at my sudden bitchy mode, but rearranged his expression almost immediately. He brought back the dang crooked smile.
"You need sleep. It has been a tiring day for you. I hope you sleep well."
Oh, just plague me with your perfectness.
"How about you? When will you finally get your sleep?" I asked tauntingly. Again, Edward was perplexed with me, but still tried to regain his calm demeanour.
"I'll sleep once I got home."
"Virgin-boy," I muttered.
It took all of me not to cry in front of him as I taunted him with those words. I know that by those two words, I was crushing all the progress that we have built throughout our three-day friendship. But I need to do it. I needed to be the bitch everyone knows me as.
I put on my shades again to hide the emotions on my eyes.
"Isabella Marie…" Edward uttered sternly. Yes, that's right Edward. Be furious with me.
"Yes, Edward Anthony? Finally changed your mind about wanting to sleep with me?"
Edward's emotions finally crumbled into one of irritation. I smirked at him, but my eyes were almost watery.
"Good night, Isabella." He said dismissively, not even bothering to open my door like he usually does.
I blew him a kiss before I get out of his car.
Edward hastily drove away, not even saying good bye to me anymore. Once he was out of my front lawn, I removed my shades, let the few tears escape my eyes while yanking Edward's handkerchief from my jeans pocket and dabbing them into my eyes. I then drew my cell phone from my other jeans pocket and called a certain mechanic that I know to help me about my Ferrari and try to save some parts that survived. Guess I need a new car then…
EPOV
To be or not to be.
Yes, to be the gentleman I usually am around girls or to act all hostile towards her.
Isabella or Bella.
Sigh.
Since the day I saw her at the male's room, I have tried to get to know her more. At some point, I was successful enough to even start jamming sessions with her, to ask different random questions to her, and observe her.
I saw a much different side of her:
The one who blushes – which melts my heart and leaves me breathless; the one who wears simple clothes and hates dressing-up – which amazes me and draws me near her; the one who wants to act tough but is crumbling deep inside – which I admire a lot and wants to protect from everyone; the one who sings great songs, eat like she cares none, acts mature and speaks wittedly – which leaves me wanting to get near her more; the one who always acts so clumsy but hates the attention she gets – which amuses me to no end; and, the one who seems shy and acts like how a lady should – which makes me want to embrace her and hold her and just be with her.
The fressia and strawberry scent…
The alabaster-white, soft skin…
The deep-brown chocolate thoughtful eyes, with a little pucker in between them…
The perfectly imbalanced plump lips…
The mahogany-brown, brunette hair…
And, to be so bold with my thoughts, the perfect curves of her physique, that leaves all men drooling at her sight…
Sigh again.
But it has been a week since we saw the repulsive and mind-boggling thing that happened to her car. I was so furious at these things that are happening to her that I wasn't able to control my emotions fully after a while. I ended up messing things with her. I wasn't gentleman enough to help her out of the car.
But her actions then… why did she suddenly wants to act like the aggressive girl she always project?
I know that while she was saying those taunting, vulgar words, it was not what she truly wanted to say. I could feel it. I could sense she was trying to look bad in front of me. But, why? After being a little closer to her, why would she suddenly want to end our closeness?
I have been observing her from afar after that.
It has been a week.
She always tries to avoid me, whenever she could. At biology, it's like I don't exist at all. And whenever she would speak to me, she would only say uncouth things. And she never shows me her crooked scowl anymore.
What is going through Isabella's mind?
Huh! So frustrating!
She doesn't act like normal people do, at all!
One time, I would think she would do this, and the next, I would be surprised and perplexed that she would do the exact opposite of it. I have never met a person so simple and complex at the same time!
I usually am good at reading people, but with Isabella, it doesn't apply at all.
Why am I so intrigue with her, to the point that when she was obviously trying to ignore me, I would only pine closer to her and she would cloud all my thoughts?
And these feelings I have for her – they are so confusing!
Exasperating!
Befuddling!
To sit beside her at the crowded restaurant at the after-game celebration, all I wanted to do was talk to her and convince her to leave with me; shield her from all the lewd stares the guys were giving her. It's like they were undressing her with their eyes. It was very annoying and aggravating.
And the damn Mike Newton! He was so unnerving!
It took all of me not to push him from his seat and crash his thick skull to the wall. He was overly persistent of Bella! He was always looking at her like she was unclothed in front of him all the time. I very much wanted to punch his thick face. I hope he would bleed to death from it.
Whenever Bella… Isabella gets hurt or gets threatened, all I wanted to do is to be with her and share all the worries that she was struggling on…
But, at the moment, I can't.
She's been avoiding me too much.
And to be honest, I am not quite sure how to proceed with this quest to solve her. I am undecided – because, as I contemplated when we were at the car, she can't be her.
Her – my ideal girl. The girl that I have been waiting for my entire life. A non-entity, at present, but someone I have formed in my head to be the person I wanted to spend my life with. Someone who I haven't met yet… someone who I just have delusions about.
Sure, she acts like her sometimes – my ideal girl. I see a lot of things that makes her like how she is. But, morality and chastity wise, she is not her. And those things are the important aspects that I have been looking for in a girl. And, she already does not meet my standards.
Standards.
Sigh again.
Why was it so important to me, anyway, these standards that I look for? Why can't I just be like most guys – undeterred by the morals of the women they like? I'm not even perfect myself. Nobody is. So why can't I just ignore these standards that I seek, and just accept Isabella as she is? Didn't I, myself, thought that when we were singing together and the first time I saw her blush up close, that she is so easy to love? That it was like breathing – being near her and appreciating every inch of her? Why can't I just go all my way and woo her and demand to her that she should stop this nonchalant act towards me? I feel so coward, and at the same time, I'm torn – because I couldn't choose how to proceed next.
Maybe, a few more times of observing her, I would be able to finally make up my mind. Maybe that's what I only needed.
Isabella or Bella?
Sigh.
Who is she, really?
EPOV
Today is Saturday. And I am outside Isabella Marie's house, in my Aston Martin, unsure on what to do next. I always feel irritated of my stalkers. But today, I am, humiliatingly, acting as one.
It was not my intent to stalk her – that's not what was on my mind as I drove towards her now familiar front lawn. But I have been gravely frustrated to ease my mind of these thoughts and feelings I have of her. I meekly wanted to see her – observe her from afar. Or perhaps talk to her.
Exactly like a crazy stalker would do.
I have been waiting for Isabella for almost an hour now – nine-twenty-two on my watch. But in all these times that I was hidden in the shadows of her tree in my car, I have yet decided whether to raise her attention and knock from her door to talk to her. I was just wanting to… I don't know anymore.
After a few more minutes, I saw movements on her front door. She was easing it open. I waited, eyes trained on her front door, for her to come out.
And sure enough, she did.
And it knocked me off my breath.
She was in those simple jeans and shirt again, with black chucks. Her hair was held up. She was struggling to let out a few boxes from her house to get them outside.
She was breathtakingly beautiful. As always.
But to see her again on those simple clothing – it's like she wanted to torment me more of her presence. Why would she exhibit the exact outer appearance of my ideal girl? It was hard enough for me to be near her when she looks the exact opposite of her, and now, she would dress exactly like how I view her? It's so frustrating!
Isabella… Bella one by one carried those four boxes out from her house. I meekly watched her from my place. And then, she went towards the garage, which was hidden from my view.
I always wonder why she has such huge house when it seems like only she and her father lives inside. Sure, it looks great – industrial looking; like an architect specifically designed it to be habited by a bachelor. But it doesn't feel homely. And Isabella says so that she hates it.
After a few minutes, I heard a loud rumble of an engine. I was alarmed at first. How can a car create such noise?
I know that after Isabella received the vexing second death threat, she has been riding with either Rosalie or Alice. And it was also maddening that Rosalie and Alice seemed to be progressing towards friendship with Emmett and Jasper, and Bella and I were on odd terms. Life seemed easy for the other people. It seems to me that mine and Bella were not. But hers were much more difficult.
Why would she need to undergo these tough situations? It feels so unfair!
And why do I feel tremendously goaded that she's having a hard time? That I somehow feel as though it was my job to soothe her at these times?
A rusted orange Chevy truck emerged from her garage. Bella was driving it. She idled near the boxes that she managed to get out from her house. And then, she came out from her truck to get near the boxes, and one by one put them at the truck's trunk.
So, she owns a faded Chevy truck? Interesting… it somehow shows her character.
Why does she always seem so interesting to me?
Every bit of her actions, I find it interesting. As I pondered before, Isabella has brought more color in my dull life the moment that I met her. I have always been feeling content of what I have. It's boring, but I'm content. And then she shot across my sky like a meteor, and my eyes were absorbed by the intensity of light that emanated from her. And now, my entire world seemed to revolve only around her…
After she successfully loaded the boxes, she went to the driver's seat again and started to drive out of her lawn. I was still for a moment. I was unsure of what to do next. But I so wanted to be with her today. My less noble thoughts won, and I decided to shadow her towards wherever destination she was going.
Exactly like a crazy stalker.
EPOV
Isabella… Bella came out of her car. I have been shadowing her for almost an hour now. It was very frustrating – the speed her rusted truck can only conjure. I have to drive at a turtle-like speed of fifty miles per hour. I always drive in a normal one-ten. Driving more than half the usual speed was taking a toll on my patience. Stalking will not be a career path suited for me.
Right, make stalking a career now.
The place she stopped on is, surprisingly, an orphanage located at Forks – the rural town near Port Angeles. Why would she go to an orphanage? Strange…
Bella, upon nearing the gate of the orphanage, was immediately greeted with a thirty-year old- looking woman, who seemed like an albino with her too white skin. She hugged her tightly for a moment, and Bella happily talked to her, probably exchanging greetings with her. And then, Bella gestured towards her truck, talking to the woman about, probably, the boxes, and the woman looked really jubilant about it. They both excitedly carried the boxes, two for each of them, and started walking towards the establishment. They left the gate open, and even the security guard followed them.
After a few minutes of waiting outside, I decided to come in as well. Well, I'm not planning anything wrong anyway – just merely curious of Bella – so this trespassing wouldn't really result badly.
Yes, Edward, convince yourself that.
I crossed the gate and skimmed my eyes to my surroundings. The establishment looked old: its walls' paint grated; its roof a color of dark-red that was also starting to look frail; but it looks homely. Also, fallen leaves were all over the place outside, though the playground, where some swings, bars and other rides were there, is clean. It looks, though old, cared for and well-kept.
Some children were outside the establishment and were at the playground. They were all playing: some older looking than the others. I counted them and there are fourteen in total. Six of them are girls. Their ages seemed to range from four to twelve. They wear clothes that looked hand-me-down.
For a guy, I am, embarrassingly, fond of children. I think of them as angels – so naïve, pure, honest, loving and very amusing creatures. Just like how angelic-looking these children were. It brought a smile to my face.
I watched, hidden, while the children play. After a few minutes, I saw Bella coming out from the establishment, flanked by two women – the one she met at the gate, and the other an older-looking blond – and the security guard. They were all bringing the boxes Bella has carried from them.
When Bella was seen by the children, they all squealed in delight. Bella was also looking very excited to see them. Her eyes were sparkling with happiness. She immediately was engulfed in a hug and she hugged and kissed each of them as tenderly and motherly as she could. The three adults meekly watched the exchange quietly, smiles also on their faces.
Bella squatted to be at almost the same height as the children. She started talking to them one by one, always holding their faces, or fixing their hairs. The delight on the children's faces was also evident.
After a few while of talking to them, she gestured to the boxes. The three adults helped her open them. The first box revealed to contain clothes, as well as the second. The third are books. The last one's all toys. The children all hovered excitedly at the boxes, getting items from inside and laughing with others. Bella's smile was visible the entire time.
After a few laughing and looking at the things inside the boxes, Bella seemed to need to talk to the two women and waved at the children before leaving them. The security guard followed Bella and the women inside. The children were left talking and giggling to each other, marvelling at the boxes' contents.
I was just watching the entire time, absorbed at Bella's kindness. Her wanting to share love to the orphaned kids was melting my heart. It made me respect her in a new, heightened level. Rarely do teenagers care for other people, much less do charity works. But seeing Bella do all these secretly, and so voluntary… seeing her pouring all her care and love to these children… it made me want to get to know her more, and be kind to her and treat her exceptionally.
She is special. I should have seen it before. She is not just your normal selfish teenager.
She is selfless.
I walked a few steps towards the children. Their innocent, curious eyes shifted on me. I gave them my full smile. They smiled uncertainly in response.
BPOV
"Mommy Bella!"
"Hey Jenny!"
I ran excitedly towards my children and gave each of them my hugs and kisses. They seemed as delighted and excited about seeing me again. They were all hugging me tightly, as though we haven't seen each other for a long time. Well, I miss them badly. Especially after what all happened to me, the time with my children is a great relief from the dramatic world that is high school.
My resolve to act indifferent to Edward was great so far… or sad, most of the time. I try to act as wild as I could in front of him, always taunting him about his virginity and such. I even wear the revealing clothes voluntarily in going to school, which makes Alice and Rose worried about my actions. It is not a secret to them how I detest dressing up.
Alice was making so much progress with Jasper… in a way. They would always talk on practice, or whenever they pass each other. I was so happy for them.
Rose and Emmett were much the same. They would always converse on their practice and their history class. I couldn't be happier with my friends.
I'm sure it will just be a matter of time before they will start thinking of going out with their dream guys. At least, some dreams would come true.
Mine was… shattered.
What's also boggling me is that Edward hasn't made a move to ease this building tension between us. It is evident how I was avoiding him. But his evasive actions were not obvious, except to me. I mean, maybe I'm being too grave. He's not being evasive. He's just not making any move to be closer to me, unlike before.
I sure irked him last time when we were at his car.
Speaking of cars, my Ferrari couldn't be reborn. It even boggled my mechanic how my mysterious enemy managed to damage my car so much without arousing suspicion. My Ferrari does not easily break. Either way, however the trick was therein, I need a new car. I sell my Ferrari's parts, but it wasn't enough to buy me a new one.
Charlie was just… Charlie. He doesn't care. He just advised me to buy a new one, or to use my other car – which I really love. My rusted, old Chevy truck. It was the first vehicle I had. I loved it! It shows my personality a lot!
But Alice and Rose wouldn't let me use it at school. So, I've been riding with them all the time. Rose knows a little about cars, and she told me to go look at some prospective new vehicles with her tomorrow. I was reluctant, but I couldn't say no to my friends.
My mystery enemy… remains a mystery.
After the last death threat, he or she hadn't made his/her presence known again, yet. I haven't received another threat in a week. But that doesn't mean I sleep well at home. I still have nightmares. But the absence of the threats so far makes Alice and Rose a bit complacent, so it's still a good thing.
And another good thing was that I don't need to wear the tinted shades anymore! My left-eye is fully healed now. There is still a short scar left, but it's barely noticeable anymore. In a few days, I was hoping it would finally fully be healed, without the short scar.
"I miss you, mommy," Jenny exclaimed, a full smile on her face. It was very cute how my little six-year-old darling has her two front teeth removed. It brings so much cuteness in her face. I laced my hand on her blond, short hair. And then I kissed her forehead.
"I miss you too, honey."
Greg, my freckled ten-year-old son also gave me a hug and said "It's great to see you again, mommy Bella."
I also hugged him and kissed his cheek.
My other children started swarming me. I lowered myself for them to easily approach me as I said my I love you's and I miss you's to them.
"Can you come back more often?" Sandy, my eight-year old brunette baby asked. I ruffled her hair and she giggled.
"Well, I miss you all too. You're all looking great! And, of course, mommy Bella will come back whenever she could," I promised to all of them. They all smiled in response.
"You smell so good mommy. All the time," Curt, my cute little four-year old son commented. I giggled at him and held his face and kissed it.
"You too, Curt. Seems like you recently had your bath."
All my kids laughed at this. I smiled as well.
Oh, how I miss my children! They were already visibly brightening my sour mood because of my dreary life.
And then, I stood up, having remembered the things I brought for them. They all eyed me speculatively. They all already know that I have gifts for them, as I usually do whenever I visit them.
"Kids, I have brought some stuff for you. Emily, Linda, Marcus, can you all please help me with the boxes?"
"Yay!" my kids chorused. They were bouncing up and down at the prospect of new things. I was laughing, as well as Linda, Emily and Marcus as we opened the boxes.
"We've been taking great care of them," murmured Emily.
I laugh as I respond "I'm sure you all do."
"You're looking better and better each day. Really beautiful," she murmured again. I flushed tomato red upon her words.
"Okay, stop making me feel embarrassed," I playfully scowled. They all laughed at me.
"It's true, anyway. You're really pretty," Marcus chimed in. I shook my head at them.
"Bella, honey, you're not only beautiful outside, but also on the inside. A rare piece of gem," Linda added. My blush grew darker.
"Stop now, you three. Let's just give these to the kids."
They all laughed as we opened the last box.
"What's it?" Molly, my black-haired five-year old kid asked.
"The boxes are huge!" Allan, my twelve year-old freckled son announced. I laughed at them as I took the first item inside the first box.
"These two boxes here," I gestured to the first and the second boxes, "contains clothes for all of you. I have labelled them," I took the item for Grace at the second box, "with your names. Here," I pointed the tag where I wrote her name. All the kids clapped and jumped at this. I laughed with them. Some of them decided to look for their clothes. After they have all quieted, I proceeded to the next box.
"The third box is for books," I took 'A Little Princess' to show it to them. "You could all share your books, like the good siblings you all are." The others meekly smiled at this. Only Mandy, my little geeky eye-glass wearing brunette eleven-year-old daughter seemed to be enthusiastic and clapped her hands and exulted a "yay". I laughed at her.
I took one of the items of the fourth box. It was a Barbie-doll. "This fourth box contains toys." They all squealed and jumped at this. Some excitedly went towards the box and started yanking out the items. I laughed again. "You all will share these toys to your siblings, okay? No fighting over toys." I scolded in my motherly manner. They all nodded at me and promised "okay". I laughed again.
"Uhm, I hope you all like it."
"Of course we do," said Daniel, my ten year old black haired son. The others timidly nodded their heads.
"Okay, then. Mommy Bella just needs to talk to Emily and Linda for some matters. Be back after a while. You all are good here, aren't you?"
"Yes mommy," promised my ever responsible Harley.
I waved at them before I headed inside the orphanage's building with Linda, Emily and Marcus trailing behind me.
Once inside the building, we went to the dining room and sat at the chairs of the dining table. Linda was directly in front of me: her smile still in place. Marcus excused himself, like he always do whenever we talk about semi-serious matters, and headed out towards the kitchen, saying he needs to eat or something. Emily was beside me: her arm around my shoulder.
"How is Georgia?" I asked, still worried about her.
Georgia is the recently added kid at the orphanage who has hydrocephalus. I haven't met her yet. She was already admitted to the hospital right after Emily and Linda adopted her. But I am still worried about her. Having such an illness at a young age is too dreadful.
"She's fine. She's getting her operation tomorrow. Linda and I will be there," Emily answered for me. I mildly nodded my head.
I then retrieved the envelope I tucked at my jeans pocket. Emily and Linda already knew what it meant. They smiled kindly to me.
"These are all the funds I was able to collect from our concerts – my friends and I's – for donation. You know, the Goddesses' concerts? And I also put some of my saved allowance here. I hope it will help you for the operation of Georgia and to handle things here."
Emily and Linda looked disapprovingly at me. I knew that look – they were not happy that I also add my allowance to the donation. They always say I do too much things for them already. But I just can't give donations from other people and not include mine. It feels wrong.
"It's not a big deal, really. Charlie gives me too much allowance anyway."
Emily and Linda eyed each other. I also know what those looks meant. They were conveying that it was no use arguing with me. They know how stubborn I could get.
"Thank you Bella," Linda held my hands as she spoke. "These will help tons."
"You're always welcome," I blurted out with a smile.
We were silent for a couple more minutes.
I was just waiting for them to bring our usual topic. After a while, they didn't disappoint. Emily finally brought it up again.
"So, tell me about him," she said, eyeing me speculatively. Linda also brought her focus to me.
I looked down as I answered, not wanting them too much involved in my horrid life.
"Well, I've been trying to avoid him lately," I said, eyes on my hands that I detangled from Linda's.
"Why?" Emily asked in alarm.
"Because it's for the best," I replied curtly.
Linda stretched her hands to me again. Emily hugged me tighter.
"Oh, honey," Linda said in her affectionate voice. "You are a precious jewel. If he couldn't see that, he has real eye defect."
I shook my head at her as I answered. "Don't judge him. It's what I wanted… what's better. And besides, I feel content just looking at him from afar. He's… too good for me."
Emily laced her hand on the few strands of hair that was not clutched by my ponytail.
"Oh honey, I'm sure everything will fall right. Just you wait. Surely, God has planned something tremendous for you."
I looked at Emily's eyes then. She always held those deep, chocolate brown eyes that were peculiarly very similar to mine. Her skin also very white and she is a brunette too. If people don't really know us, they would have thought we are mothers.
"Thank you Emily," I said as I shifted my gaze towards Linda's aged face. "Linda."
"Anytime," Emily murmured in my ear. Linda tightened her hold on my hand.
EPOV
"So, who was she?" I asked the children at the orphanage. I have been trying to engage in a conversation from them for a while now, but they have been sceptical on talking to me. They would glance at each other, asking each other silently on how they would answer me.
"We should not talk to strangers," a brunette eye-glass wearing girl muttered.
"I guess you're right," I agreed, resigning. These kids seemed to be well taught on how to act properly.
"But, he's too good-looking for a stranger," uttered a blond-haired freckled girl.
"Yes, he'll look good for mommy Bella," agreed a brunette girl who looked like she is five-year old.
My interest was caught then, upon hearing her speak.
"Mommy Bella?" I asked, arching one of my eyebrows. They call Isabella Marie their mommy Bella?
An eleven year-old looking boy answered for me.
"That's what we call her. We don't have parents. Mommy Bella said she'll be one while we wait for people to adopt us."
So, it was Bella who initiated the rapport. And she very much willingly "adopted" these children as her own, because she genuinely cares for them.
That was… noble. And kind. And very much selfless.
"Tell me about this mommy Bella of yours," I said, kneeling in the process, for them to be at the same height as me.
They seemed to be hesitant as they all glanced at each other.
"Please?" I pleaded, voice sounding as sweet and kind as I could. Maybe, if I beg to them, they would finally give in.
But I was disappointed. They simply glanced at me uncertainly.
Maybe if I…
"Oh, I'm Edward," I uttered, smiling to all of them. "Now I'm not a stranger anymore. Can you talk to me now?"
Most of them looked shocked upon me telling them my name. They looked at each other, alarmed. I grew perplexed.
"He's even named after Daddy Edward," a blond four year-old looking girl spoken. My curiosity grew larger.
"Daddy Edward?" I questioned to her. She looked uncertain on how to proceed next. The eye-glass wearing brunette from before spoke on her behalf.
"Mommy Bella talks about a prince-like guy at school."
Prince-like, huh?
She continued with her explanation.
"He is a perfect gentleman, who has a perfect face…"
The eye-glassed wearing brunette was cut by the excitement of another little girl.
"She said his name is Edward…"
And the excitement peaked in. They all started to talk almost at the same time. I was jerking my head from child to child as one and one of them describe… me?
"We call her daddy since mommy Bella is a princess," said one blond child.
"And prince is for princess," said another cute little girl with a babyish voice.
"But Prince Edward is too good. Mommy Bella don't be with her," chimed another boy who looked like he was four.
"But one day, mommy Bella will live happily ever-after…" said another…
"Prince Edward will be with her," and another.
"But mommy Bella only laughs at us when we said that," added another girl who sounded sad about it.
"She said 'it's impossible'," agreed the other whose tone was also one of melancholy.
So, Bella tells them story… probably about me, though I'm not sure... and she even says it's impossible for these endings that the children conjure to take place. And the children, or her children, in this case, think of her as a princess – and I agree. She does look like a princess – and they wanted her, their princess, to be with 'me', their make-believe prince.
Hmm… interesting.
And, one more thing – Bella's description of 'me' seemed to make the children think of me as a 'prince', which could mean that she illustrates me as someone whose on the all-good demeanour of a prince.
Interesting again.
"Tell me more about your mommy Bella," I ushered, really getting intrigued more than ever about her.
Again, they started speaking rapidly, no longer feeling that I am a stranger to them.
I really love children. They are honest and wonderfully simple creatures.
"She's very beautiful," said one boy. Well, I agree with him.
"And smells really good," added another four—year old looking boy. I agree again, to the extent.
"And very kind," chimed the babyish sounding little girl from earlier.
"Always cooks for us," mentioned a chubby-looking boy. I chuckled at him while he caressed his big stomach affectionately.
"Buy us clothes," giggled a ten-year old looking girl – the one with the cute ribbon on her black hair.
"She was even donating money and earns them from concert to help with Georgia's operation," revealed a responsible looking lad.
Wait, so the Goddesses' concert is really for a cause? No wonder Mr Foyer was so adamant on us going to their concert.
"She reads for us," dreamily said by the brunette eye-glassed girl.
"Play with us," exclaimed a girl with two front teeth lost.
"Sings us songs," sang the striped-wearing shirt boy.
And finally, "she's the best mommy in the world!" bellowed the three-year old blond freckled boy who made a huge round shape with his hands to initiate how Bella is the best in the world. I chuckled at him.
I wanted to linger longer with these angelic kids but I knew sooner or later Bella would come out. Once she did, she would see me outside with these kids and I knew that my secret stalking will be unmasked. I couldn't risk that.
I stood up, the children eyeing me curiously. I showed them my smile to convey to them that it's alright.
"I don't have stuff with me right now but, I promise, I will come back. And when I do, I'm sure to leave good things for you."
The responsible-looking child beheld me guiltily as he says "If mommy Bella asks…"
I cut his words before he even finished it as I said:
"Just tell her a certain someone named Anthony passed by."
The brunette eye-glassed girl crunched her eyebrows. "But you said your name is Edward."
"We shouldn't lie," chimed the girl with her front teeth lost. I smiled reassuringly to them.
"Yes, but you wouldn't be lying. My name is Edward Anthony. But you shouldn't tell your mommy Bella about my first name."
The girl with the ribbon on her hair asked "Why not?"
I pursed my lips in a pretended thoughtful gesture before I answered them "Because if you do, you'll break the spell. The princess will realize that her knight is just around. The prince will lose his façade… his pretend self."
All the children looked excited at the prospect of a secret prince. They started jumping up and down. One even exulted "like a real fairy story!"
I chuckled at their naivety and their imaginative minds.
"So you're really mommy Bella's Edward?" inquired the baby-toned girl.
Well… I also wonder about that…
"I guess so," I said, unsure if it really meant me. The other children took it as affirmation. One even exclaimed "yay!"
I chuckled again at their energetic selves.
"We will keep your promise," conspired the responsible-looking kid.
"Thank you," I said. "See you soon."
And then I waved at them before finally walking towards my car. Their laughter echoed until I reached my car. I glimpsed at them cursorily and I noticed Bella coming out from the establishment towards her children. I then walked faster for her not to see me.
Once I reached my car, I smiled hugely at what I learned today, and at what I felt being around children at present.
Stalking can be good. I learned a huge deal about Bella.
I revved the engine and quietly left the place, heading home.
I think I'm done with my stalking… for the moment.
BPOV
"How did you like my gifts?" I called out to my children as I approach them eagerly.
"They're great!" exclaimed Jenny as she started playing with her Barbie.
"I like the toys!" roared Molly, my blond-haired daughter.
"And the books…" dreamily said by my geeky Mandy.
"Great then!" I shouted happily, giggling and sniffling at the process.
My children are like angels.
Harley eyed me seriously when I shifted my eyes to him and my attention was caught.
Harley is always my responsible son. He always acts mature for his age.
I looked at him questioningly and he started smiling to me.
"Mommy, tell us again about Prince Edward," he said, sitting at the grassy ground. The other children all stopped what they were doing as he spoke and they eyed him conspiratorially, as if they know a secret that I don't. They also all started sitting at the ground and they shifted their eyes to me, waiting for me to tell something. My children are acting strange…
"Well, you all know the story," I uttered sceptically, also sitting cross-legged at the process.
"But Mr Anthony came here," Allan mentioned. The other children shot him a meaningful stare. I grew more perplexed.
"Anthony?" I asked. Why does the name sound familiar? We're talking about Edward…
Oh, his second name! Anthony! Edward Anthony.
But it can't be… I mean, no one knows I go to this place aside from Rose and Alice.
No, maybe my imagination is running wild.
Patrick, my chubby child commented "Mr Anthony wants to know about the story."
Well, maybe they have…
"What's he? An imaginary friend?" I asked all of them.
They were all hesitant to speak but Harley beat them to it as he answered "Yes. He's like our secret friend."
They all nodded fast, showing that they fully agree with him.
Strange.
Well, if it's just a secret friend…
"Okay, uhm, so I met Edward when obnoxious Mike Newton was constantly harassing me at the canteen, and I shifted my eyes at the most beautiful sight I could see. Beautiful does not normally apply for a man but other words would have not sufficed…"
EPOV
There are few things that I realized from this stalking that I did:
One. Bella is a really benevolent person who has a soft spot for caring about children. She is motherly, warm, kind, loving, caring and above all, genuinely selfless. She'll make a great mother.
Two. She is better than everybody else that I've met so far. She is special. I should treat her as how special as she is.
Three. I don't care about her reputation anymore. I wanted to know her better – probably befriend her.
Just be near her. Engulf me with the warmth that she emanates.
Four. I dropped my standards. Or better yet – I don't care about them anymore. I just erased them.
If she's not morale, fine. If Bella wants to act aggressive towards me, I don't care. I'll let her. And they wouldn't hinder me from getting to know her. If I could befriend Tanya and every other girl who, I recently realized, are even on a lower calibre than her, why not I also get close to her? I have feared the closeness needlessly. But now, I have erased the standards I set because I met her.
Five. I have special feelings for her – that much is obvious. Though, still, they are foreign to me. They befuddle me. I couldn't be exact on what they meant. But these feelings – I will start understanding them by being with her. I wouldn't rush into things. I would let these feelings drown me – slowly, if they may. I would just let things unfold on their own accord. Probably, let the chips fall where they may.
I would stop this evasiveness she does. I would persist to get nearer to her. I wouldn't just cower and let this gaping space between us continue to grow.
I would finally make my move.
BPOV
This day is the freakiest and most confounding of all days!
It's not because I have my monthly cycle – now, I'm quite sure that's not it.
I think its Edward.
He has been, from the moment I stepped out of my newly acquired Silver Volvo, following me with his eyes. When I first stepped out of the car, I even saw him smile to me – fully, and not crookedly.
Major heck.
Later on, when I entered the lunch room, he was there again, lining behind me to buy food. I pretend I didn't notice him, but he would torment me by brushing his fingers on my back or "accidentally" bumping into me. When I eyed him murderously, trying to communicate my question with my eyes onto what he was doing, he simply showed me the dang crooked smile. I saw a great deal of the girl's population shoot daggers to me.
At bio, I pretended I was listening to the lecture. He would interrupt my pretend preoccupied façade by asking me questions about the lesson. I tried to be diplomatic in answering him, but mostly, I just ignore him.
Gym and Music were almost the same – he always follows me with his eyes. And even though I would catch him staring at me, he doesn't seem to be embarrassed about it at all. He would just show his stunning crooked smile. Even Tanya was visibly fuming at his side about his peculiar actions. It was actually a great sight – seeing Tanya fume. It should have been captured by a camera.
But, really, what has gotten into Edward?
Before I finally left the school, I was even stopped by him.
I glared at him, though it'll be easier to ogle – what him wearing tight button-down blue shirt, where his sleeves were folded up to his elbows, and him having black jeans on: his clothes accentuating his perfectly sculpted body.
And his face! Ugh! He seemed to be dreamier today!
His unruly bronze hair seemed to glimmer more. His lips always turned up into his crooked smile. And his green eyes more smoldering.
Heck! Can you get more perfect?
I think our conversation at the parking lot went a little like this:
"Why are you following me around?" I asked, sounding irritated. Actually, it has been a little irritating – being subjected to so much confusion for a day.
"I'm not," he replied curtly, still wearing the dang crooked smile.
Maybe he's right. He's not following me around – not in the literal sense of it. But his eyes – they were all over me every time we are on the same room.
So I responded with a "yes you were," deeming that he really does, in a way.
He pursed his lips for a second before answering with that crooked smile again.
Heck. Like I can't get enough of the fast, erratic beating my heart does for a day.
Great.
"Maybe I am," he answered back, a little amused-looking.
Great. Now he's making fun of me.
"What? Finally changed your view about virginity? Finally wanted to get some from me?"
If he can mess with me, I can too. And it's a good way to deflect me from him, anyway. He always gets a bit flustered whenever I bring the stupid, hateful subject.
But today, he was different. Even his reactions were different. He answered with a:
"What if I do? Will you do it with me?"
And I almost fell in shock.
Heck. What's up with him?
"Are you serious?" I asked with a pucker between my eyebrows, perplexed and shocked by his sudden riding with my taunts.
"What if I said I am? Will you do it?" he asked with amusement in his eyes. He seemed to really enjoy messing up with me.
Wait. Wait. Wait.
If he messes with me, I should bite back, right? I can't lose my air now. So I answered with a:
"Where do you want to do it?" I asked nonchalantly, like I was commenting on the weather.
But if I were to report on the weather at the moment, it'll go along the lines of: 'feisty hot with some dark clouds forming in the rainbow-colored sky'.
Right. Weather forecaster is not the career path for me.
"Your place?" he suggested with still the amusement in his eyes.
I was taken aback for a moment before I rearranged my reaction onto indifference.
I shouldn't lose my cool.
"Great," I muttered, while I started to "go" in my car. "Let's go now."
"I'll get my car," he said, as he started walking towards the direction of his own car.
I blinked a few times in surprise that he's really going through this act. I then recovered and yanked him to a stop. Electric current passed between us as I held his arm.
"Wait, are you really serious?"
He eyed me with his one eyebrow arched.
"You're backing out?"
Well, time to get truthful. I really don't plan to lose my virginity while I'm still not married – even to the man of my dreams… who's really acting strange at the moment?
"Yes," I answered immediately. He questioned my answer with his eyes.
"No," I rebounded. Let's retrieve some dignity here, okay?
Wait, what if he really thinks it's true? I can't lose my virginity in a whim. And I even have my monthly cycle today, for crying out loud!
"Maybe." Good. Better, at least. Be in the middle.
He sniffed at me as he taunted "scared?"
Great. Now I'm a laughing stock.
"No. I'm just not in the mood."
Right. As if that's true.
"Thought so," he mumbled in a lower voice. I glared at him.
Then he started laughing uncontrollably, really exhibiting the multiple personality disorder. I just eyed him incredulously the whole time.
Now, he's laughing at me because he was really just messing at me the whole time. He was not serious about it, and I almost believed him.
After he was done with his laughing outburst, I placed both my arms around my chest and spoke in an airy manner.
"Stop following me around," I ordered, though it seemed it didn't affect him much. He just showed me that dang crooked smile.
Isabella Marie seemed to be losing his power over boys.
"I'll go now, but I won't stop," he said as parting words. I was just stunned into silence.
I watched him as he left me standing stunned at my place as he went to his car. Even as he drove away, I was just staring at him – immobile as a statue.
He even chuckled at me upon seeing my stance before he finally drove away.
What is with Edward today?
Seemed like it's a question I won't be able to answer for long.