To my readers:

I sincerely apologize for not having updated in nearly a year. A lot has occurred in my life. I suddenly logged on to the site, saw the number of people who read this story, and promptly decided to finish it. I hope the quality of writing as improved since last September because I feel like I have been working on it. There are a lot of things that I am disappointed with in the previous chapters but I will just keep trucking along. Forgive me forgive me forgive me! I really hope you enjoy this chapter. It made me emotional! Of course, I suddenly realized how I connected so clearly with Lily and James but I'll save that for another chapter.

Cheers!

Emma

Dear Diary, September 13th, Sixth Year

It would seem oddly appropriate that today is Friday the 13th after all the horrible things that occurred at the start of it. Which was midnight, my diary, when I was sneaking about with Potter. Perhaps I should come with a code name for him so that Alice and I may continue talking about him even when there are others within earshot.

Anyways, THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT. No no no no! Much more important things have occurred! It's terrible and the worst part is, there's nothing we can do! There's no evidence and the witnesses (us!) were breaking school rules! Even though Dumbledore is an unusually fantastic man, there is no way he would ever believe us. There's no way I would believe us if I were him. Besides, if you looked at me now, I appeared to be losing my mind with this whole dating-the-boy-I've-hated-forever-just-to-break-his-heart-and-make-him-leave-me-alone-forever deal. I wonder if Muggles struggle this much with guys or if it's some wizarding curse.

Let me explain. I left off abruptly. Early in the evening, Alice and I journeyed to the kitchens. I needed food for the meeting I was having with my "boyfriend" and, unfortunately for Alice, she is an emotional eater and was currently struggling with the Remus and Frank situation.

"Do you think I should talk to Frank?" Alice asked quietly while we waited for our food. The House Elves here are so kind, future child of mine. I insist you take advantage of their HEALTHY options like any good future mother. "I mean, I doubt he has even noticed me except as that girl who follows the famous Lily Evans around."

"Don't say that Al! It isn't true! You don't follow me, we're friends! I'm not famous, I just have a leech who won't let me alone! Honestly, if you had a Hungarian Horntail following you everywhere, people would notice."

"Are you sure? I don't know Lily…"

I rolled my eyes before giving her a smile. Not the fake ones I give Potter, but a genuine smile. "I think you should. It never hurts to try and he'd have to be bloody stupid not to go out with you at least once."

Just then one of the Elves handed us two packages of food. Alice took hers before wrapping me awkwardly into a hug. Not an awkward hug because we aren't close but because we were trying to hold packages of food. "Thanks Lily. You always know just what to say." The glint returning to her eyes, she added, "And I hope you say the right things tonight."

"Alice…"I moaned, holding the portrait open for her. "I really don't want to kiss him! It's You-Know-Who!"

"You're dating the He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"

"ALICE! That isn't funny at all!" My idea about code names does seem quite relevant now… "Anyways, kisses are special. You don't just kiss whoever. You save them so that when they are given out they were always worth giving to someone who was worth the wait. If that makes sense."

"Lily, really, I'm not asking you to do this for yourself. I'm asking you to do this for me so I don't have to put up with Potter anymore," Alice joked. It was fine though; I understood perfectly what she was saying. Alice would never encourage me to do something that I didn't want to do, something that would make me feel uncomfortable. That's why we're friends. "Now stop being so affectionate and mellow and soft! Get your butt up to that Tower and await your boyfriend!"

"Please Alice, refer to him by his proper title. Lord Toerag, Spawn of the Dung Heap. It is much more fitting."

A few minutes later, I found myself staring out the window of the Tower. Not a cloud was in the sky and my eyes were instantly drawn to the nearly-full moon. Below, the lake was still and a light breeze rustled the trees of the Forbidden Forest.

The tranquility was quickly broken by Potter. "Lily?" he croaked, his voice scaring me half to death. I jumped! I must have looked ridiculous. Of course, it's perfectly fine that I jumped since the noise came from thin air. "Sorry I scared you," he said, stepping out of nothing calmly.

"You have an Invisibility Cloak? That's amazing! Where did you get it?" Good going Lily. Now Potter is going to think I want to talk to him. I just drag myself into his swamp.

Potter looked kind of uncomfortable. He finally mumbled out that his family is "one of those ancient pureblood ones" and that they "are quite well off." I knew that Potter was rich (it's one of those things that's hard to notice) but I didn't realize he had some great bloodline. I mean, you know I don't know much about the families in the wizarding world.

"Oh, wow. My family…well, we aren't. We aren't pureblood, obviously, and we aren't exactly well to do." I regret telling Potter that. I'll probably just get lots of pity presents from him now, really idiotic things too. So the best move is to change the subject, obviously. "Do you want to sit down? I went ahead and conjured one. The food I brought up from the kitchens."

The look on the git's face was so condescending. "You know where the kitchens are?" How stupid does the boy think I am?

"I like food just as much as the next person. Besides, what type of party would it be if we had no food?"

"You have parties?" He really does not know when to keep his mouth shut.

"Well, they aren't your type of parties. The girls like to have fun every now and then though."

Potter then pulled me down to sit with him on the blanket. If it had been anyone else, it would have been romantic. Being Potter, it was creepy. "You seem to like picnics."

"They remind me a lot of home. That's the one thing I don't get about the wizarding world. I don't understand how they send off their kids for so long. I still get homesick a good bit. I mean, you're eleven and you're leaving away from your parents. Kind of a harsh reality, in my opinion." Once again, a little more than I probably should have said. What I didn't tell him was that picnics reminded me of the times when Petunia and I got along, that I thought they were absolutely more romantic thing in the entire world, and that I'm not very creative with the whole dating thing, not having too much experience.

Potter munched on some grapes before speaking. "Personally, I'm happy to be here. Wizarding kids have to hide a lot of who they are. It's nice to be able to be free about your family, about you like, about your friends. You don't have to hide yourself."

I had never thought of it that way before but I knew what it was like too. Wizards have to hide our lifestyles so that Muggles don't find out. I just assumed that purebloods didn't have to worry about it as much, as if they lived in a Wizard-only world. As I was pondering these developments Potter put his arm around me (Alice would be proud, I didn't jump) and even LEANED INTO him. I was allowing him to support my weight. The whole moment-well, his moment, it was just an average day for me-all came to an end when I heard Damian Avery's voice.

"Keep up!"

James pulled me up. "Lily, get under my cloak with me and against the wall," he said, tossing the cloak over me. I quickly flicked my wand and cleared up our belongings; they couldn't know we were there.

Besides Avery, Ragnor Mulciber, Regulas Black (Sirius's younger brother), and Snape were with them. A box floated in behind them. I didn't know what to think first. I felt myself tighten up seeing Mulciber. He attacked Mary last year after exams. I don't understand why he was allowed back into Hogwarts and I know that Mary doesn't try to let it bother her, but she's definitely changed since the attack.

Seeing Snape was also terrible. After what he did to me I knew he wasn't who he once was, but still, it hurt me to see him with this crowd. Potter probably was furious to see Regulas since he's so cruel to Sirius, at least from what I've heard. All in all, it was a very nerve-racking situation.

To me, it looked like Avery was in charge. They were all standing around and staring at the box when he said "You know what we have to do. Since I'm the only one old enough to officially be part of the organization, I am in charge of this operation."

First: What was in the box?

Second: Why did Snape look so nervous?

Third: What do they have to do?

Fourth: WHAT ORGANIZATION?

Mulciber opened the box. I continued to squeeze Potter's hand, not completely sure if I was feeling more nervous, scared, or disgusted. I wasn't quite sure what to expect diary. All thoughts of destroying the heart of James Potter had left my mind. I just wanted to know that there wasn't something terribly evil in there, that there wasn't something dangerous, that they couldn't detect us.

My first question was answered. In the box there were stacks of papers. They were all backwards though because Avery has less brain cells than a flobberworm and didn't turn the box the right way. It was further answered when Black ogled "the list of Mudblood and Blood Traitors at Hogwarts along with the letter." I assumed it was mostly Gryffindors under Blood Traitors and that there were a great number of Muggle Borns on there too.

Mulciber started to read. "Ah, Slytherins, the house of my forefather, how proud I am of you. You, the chosen race. You, the purest of our world. You, the deciding factors of our futures. It is now that I give you your call to duty. Many of you are, of yet, too young to become a part of my following, known to you as Death Eaters. The task I give you now will prove your worth for when you are finally able to join the ranks of victory. Take this list and use it well. Use it to coordinate attacks. Use it to spread fear. Use it to control panic. People view Hogwarts as safe but it will not be much longer, as least for Mudbloods anyway. When a line appears through a name, it will represent the attack of the person. Go forth now and complete your mission. I speak for all Death Eaters when I say we are fascinated to see what you shall think to do. The Dark Lord." Mulciber put the handout back in the box reverently.

My final three questions were answered. Why did Snape look so nervous? Snape was nervous because he was finally becoming a member of the Dark Arts. It would be the final turning point for him. There would be no coming back. He is now and forever shall be a Dark wizard.

What did they have to do? Attack fellow students.

What organization? The Death Eaters. You-Know-Who's followers. The worst of the worst of the worst. I just…words cannot even express how I feel that Snape is joining them. Oh Merlin, I'm crying. I didn't think I could cry anymore over him. You would think that after the way he treated me I would be able not to care but I just can't. I still see my childhood friend. And I still hope every day that he goes back to being who he once was-who he truly is.

"What if a professor sees it?" Regulas asked, rubbing his arm in contemplation.

Avery responded quickly, a lopsided smile spreading across his face. "The Death Eaters took care of it. It's charmed to only be read by Slytherin students."

I wanted nothing more to use my wand to duel them. I wanted nothing more than to watch colors fly across the Tower and take them down one by one. I wanted nothing more than to save the innocent victims those papers would bring. Potter tugged on my hand though and pointed towards the door, drawing me away from my violent thoughts and my suddenly overwhelming emotions.

I did try to fight that though. I shook my head and motioned towards the box. You mouthed that it was too dangerous. I gave a slight nod, understanding but not exactly caring. I think we could have taken them. Slowly and quietly, we made our way to the door.

We scurried down the steps and once we were a few flights away we broke into a dead run. It was an unspoken instinct. It wasn't until we were safely in the Common Room that we began to panic. Well, I panicked. It was shocking to see James remain so calm. I always imagined he didn't care about these things. I suppose I was wrong.

"JAMES! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO! IT WAS REALLY HAPPENING!" I exclaimed, waving my arms around wildly.

"Lily, Lily! Calm down! Lower your voice, we don't want to wake the whole castle!" Potter reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder, bringing me back to the present. It also was a slight reminder that I'm attempting to break his heart.

Lowering my voice, I continued on. "I just can't believe it. That's huge! We have nothing to prove it either!"

"Of course we can prove it, we were there."
"We were out-of-bounds after curfew. It wouldn't do any good."

"Oh. What if we got a paper?"

"We wouldn't be able to read it, remember? Only Slytherins can see it." Potter began pacing the room as I nervously tapped my wand against my hand. It was early in the morning now and I could feel a yawn pushing through against my will.

Potter smiled. "Perhaps we can deal with this a little later? After we've had time to rest and think?"

"That sounds smart. I need the sleep. Obviously I'm a little over emotional." A weak smile seemed to plant itself on my face. (I like that phrase on a side note, diary. I like the sound of a 'weak smile.' Not the thought of one-they're so depressing-but the words. They just sound poetic.) I plopped down into the couch across from the smoldering embers of the fire.

Potter sat down next to me. "It's okay Lily, any person would be a 'little over emotional' in your place. I'm a guy, we just naturally hold in emotions."

"It's not like it matters to you anyways," I muttered, believing it to be true. He's a pureblood. It's not like this was going to hurt him.

"Are you kidding me?" he asked, pulling away to better look at me. "I'm a Blood traitor! We're just as terrible in their eyes!"

"But they wouldn't want to kill off such 'precious pureblood' in these times!" I snapped back.

"Sometimes Lily, I just don't get you. It's a commonly known fact that you're one of the brightest witches of our age but you don't really seem to see the obvious. This war hits everyone. It hits my family just as hard as it will hit yours."

"How so?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

Potter leaned back again, not so concerned anymore by my apparent stupidity. "We've gotten a lot of hate from being sympathetic towards Muggles. I guess you could call our circle 'high society' and my mum's an event planner for that circle. She's lost a lot of business because of our views."

"Your family is wealthy though. Why would the money matter?"

"It isn't the money," he said, bitterly laughing. "It's the fact that something as stupid as blood-something we all need and have-can tear us apart. It's the fact that my mum has to give up something she loves because she doesn't believe in blood purity."
"What about your father?" I found myself posing another question. Do I not realize that the more I know the harder it will be to break his heart? Or do I like making myself feel terrible?

"My dad is an Auror. Therefore, he's pretty hated in general by purebloods. It also means that he's constantly in danger."

"But isn't your dad older? Why would they put him in the line of fire?"

"He is older but he's the head of many Aurors. He organizes what they do so the final decisions are all his choices. People blame him for what happens." Potter paused, lighting nudging my chin up so that he made eye contact. "And you know what? It scares me every day to think that something could happen to him."

"James…I never meant…I never meant to say what I did. I just wasn't thinking straight. Please forgive me."

"Of course I'll forgive you." Reading what we said makes me feel sick. Not sick because I'm breaking his heart, sick because the words are being disturbingly miss used.

Cautiously, I hugged Potter. Yes, I wrote that. I, Lily Evans, hugged James Potter. Not a light-and-fluffy hug either but a genuine hug. It seemed only natural to leave my head on his chest.

I didn't mean that the way you just read it.

I meant it felt physically natural. Like, why move my head when I'm so tired and his chest was warm? You can't really blame me for falling asleep there.

Potter must have been writing later on in the night. I could have sworn I woke up to see him scribbling away on a piece of parchment.

Waking up this morning was terrible. I was awoken by the sounds of a group of fourth years heading to breakfast early. They seemed pretty shocked to see us there. The second year behind them turned bright red. I guess it did look rather bad, the two of us sleeping on the couch. Oh well, who cares? I am his girlfriend.

I'll write more after detention this evening. As for now, I have Ancient Runes to look forward to.

Lily Evans

Dear Lily, The Beautiful Girl Asleep Next to Me, Sept. 13th, Our Sixth Year

After that incident in the North Tower, you and I ran back to the Common Room. And I mean RAN. I had no clue you were that fast! I'm pretty in-shape with Quidditch and everything but it was like you were being chased by a Hungarian Horntail!

You really kept your cool when we finally spoke again. I mean really Lily, who knew how calm you were in the face of possible future danger. "JAMES! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO! IT WAS REALLY HAPPENING!" Oh, whoops, let me take that back. You were yelling and everything!

"Lily, Lily! Calm down! Lower your voice, we don't want to wake the whole castle!" I reached out and put a hand on your shoulder. I didn't want her to wake people up and cause them to panic more. I didn't want her to drag more than need be into what we had just discovered.

Your voice did drop. "I just can't believe it. That's huge! We have nothing to prove it either!"

I confidently shook my head. "Of course we can prove it, we were there."

"We were out-of-bounds after curfew. It wouldn't do any good."

"Oh. What if we got a paper?" I suggested.

"We wouldn't be able to read it, remember? Only Slytherins can see it." I began to pace the room. I didn't realize how stupid my ideas could be sometimes. Perhaps I should take it back about mocking your inability to remain calm. You seemed to be thinking straighter than I was. (Also, I thought it was cute how you fidgeted with your wand. You keep tapping it in the palm of your hand).

I tried to smile for her. "Perhaps we can deal with this a little later? After we've had time to rest and think?" Another thing my mum says is that rest really helps clear the mind. She must think I have a lot of mind clearing to do since she's got me writing these letters and sleeping.

"That sounds smart. I need the sleep. Obviously I'm a little over emotional." You smiled a small smile (just as beautiful as any other of your smiles, of course) and sat down on the couch. This surprised me a little. I thought we had just decided to go up to our dorms and sleep…

What could I do though? Sit down next to you, of course! So I did just that. "It's okay Lily, any person would be a 'little over emotional' in your place. I'm a guy, we just naturally hold in emotions."

"It's not like it matters to you anyways," you said under your breath. I was startled, truly startled. I was also very annoyed. You obviously know as little about me as you accuse me of knowing about you.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked, pulling away from you so that I could see your face better. "I'm a Blood traitor! We're just as terrible in their eyes!"

"But they wouldn't want to kill off such 'precious pureblood' in these times!" you snapped back.

"Sometimes Lily, I just don't get you. It's a commonly known fact that you're one of the brightest witches of our age but you don't really seem to see the obvious. This war hits everyone. It hits my family just as hard as it will hit yours."

"How so?"

I leaned back into the couch, trying to figure out how to explain this without sounding like a snot. "We've gotten a lot of hate from being sympathetic towards Muggles. I guess you could call our circle 'high society' and my mum's an event planner for that circle. She's lost a lot of business because of our views."

"Your family is wealthy though. Why would the money matter?" I just…I just don't get you! As I record the conversation we shared, I still find myself wanting to angrily shake you until you understand.

"It isn't the money," I replied, laughing awkwardly. "It's the fact that something as stupid as blood-something we all need and have-can tear us apart. It's the fact that my mum has to give up something she loves because she doesn't believe in blood purity." The words didn't sound quite right coming out of my mouth, like they didn't do my thoughts justice, but it was the best I could come up with.

"What about your father?" you questioned.

"My dad is an Auror. Therefore, he's pretty hated in general by purebloods. It also means that he's constantly in danger."

"But isn't your dad older? Why would they put him in the line of fire?"

"He is older but he's the head of many Aurors. He organizes what they do so the final decisions are all his choices. People blame him for what happens." You had turned your head down again, thoughtfully pulling a loose thread on the couch. I reached out and cupped your chin in my hand, pulling it up so that we were looking in each other's eyes. Girls like gazing in their boyfriend's eyes, right? "And you know what? It scares me every day to think that something could happen to him."

"James…I never meant…I never meant to say what I did. I just wasn't thinking straight. Please forgive me." The words unglued themselves from your mouth as you looked at me. It almost seemed like you were sizing me up, apprising the situation to see what the clear choice of action was.

"Of course I'll forgive you." I would forgive anything you do Lily because there's nothing you could do that would make me angry.

That's when it happened. That's when my life changed. When I close my eyes I can imagine it perfectly. I can see it clearly. I know exactly what is about to happen.

You began to lean forward, scooting closer to me on the couch until our legs touched. Your upper body tilted forward and a strand of hair fluttered in-between us. I saw your arms move up, like you were going to grab something. Were you going to grab me? I thought perhaps you were going to grab something behind me.

But you did grab me!

You pulled yourself in closer to me!

Your arms were around me!

I placed my arms around you, lightly at first, but finally deciding it was perfectly acceptable for me to pull in you tight.

Your head felt like it belonged right there on my chest. It was just the right amount of weight. It made me realize how pretty your hair is and that is smells really good too.

It didn't take long for you to fall asleep, my lovely dearest. I adjusted you slightly so I could write yesterday's letter then I feel asleep with you.

We woke up in the morning from some fourth years. I didn't really care. A second year looked pretty startled to see us too but, once again, I didn't care.

I had gotten a hug from Lily.

Lily had hugged me.

My girlfriend hugged me.

MY GIRLFRIEND LILY EVANS HUGGED ME.

The two of us split up to get ready in the morning. The guys wanted to know what happened so I quickly filled them in on the North Tower drama. I left out how we had fallen to sleep on the couch. That was something special and I wasn't quite ready to share it with the world.

Padfoot was furious when I told him that Regulas was involved. He stormed around the dorm and smashed belongings. Moony followed him to fix everything. What would we do without Moony? It's like having a mum in the dorm.

Speaking of Moony, he was pretty calm about the whole thing. It might just be due to the fact that tomorrow night is the first full moon of the school year. Those always make him a little nervous.

Wormtail just kind of whimpered pathetically, like he didn't know what to think. I don't blame him; I was scared out of my mind for everyone!

After a group discussion it was decided that we would meet with the girls (that being you and your crowd) in the Room of Requirement during lunch hour. We thought it would be good for us to formulate a plan of action.

I mentioned it to you at breakfast. You glanced at Alice and Mary before nodding. "You guys will grab food from the kitchen though?"

"Ya, don't worry about that."

You paused before taking another bite of your breakfast. "I don't want to talk about it anymore this morning. Just keep an eye open for now and we'll decide everything later."

I nodded in agreement. We split up and didn't meet again until lunch time. Padfoot and I had run down to grab food while Moony and Wormtail were meeting you directly in the Room.

When we walked in, everyone was seated around an oval table. The room was pretty sparse. You sat next to Alice so that I could take the empty seat on your other side. Mary was next to Alice also and Padfoot sat down next to her. Wormtail and Remus were next until it was back to me.

After taking a moment to eat, we quickly got down to business. "I assume that everyone knows the full details?" you asked, your voice taking on the same tone you use when performing prefect duties. The group all nodded. "I think the best thing to do is to keep an eye out for trouble. Don't let lower years move around without someone older watching them."

"I like the idea," Padfoot said, "But I don't see how we can watch everyone in the castle."

"We're going to have to get others involved," Alice pointed out. "Everyone should talk to the people they trust, especially if they have connections in other Houses. The most important thing though is to keep this away from the ears of the Slytherins."

"And what do we tell people?" Mary asked. "If we can't explain the mysterious papers, how are they going to believe us?"

You shuffled nervously in your seat. "After discussing the idea with Remus, I think our best option is to lie. It's terribly shady, I know, but it seems like the only thing we can do. Say that the prefects received an anonymous tip-off and that the professors wanted us to assign others to help. We're going to say that the professors didn't want it brought up so that those involved with the Dark activities would know what was going on."

"Smart move Evans," I chirped in, rubbing your back affectionately. You smiled at me before giving your friends a look of approval. "Any other thoughts?"

"Should we use the ma-?" Wormtail began but Moony cut him off.

"Well that seems to have cleared everything up. Try to keep an eye of protection, recruit people, and look for solid proof."

Padfoot and Mary began to stand but Alice spoke again. "Should we meet again? Like, start a regular meeting to discuss this?"

Everyone seemed to look to one another for approval. "It sounds good to me," you finally said. "Everyone Wednesday we'll eat here. Deal?"

"Deal."

As people began to file out, I took you aside to privately explain that I had plans with the Marauders this weekend and wouldn't be able to spend much time with you. You said that you were happy to hear that-which quite scared me at first-but then explained you needed to catch up on work. I love how studious you are Lily.

Nothing more seemed to happen between the two of us.

More hugs to my girlfriend!

James