Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
Reading: Sun's Heir, Death's Guardian III: The Argonauts
VI
"Well, that was one heck of an adventure, right?" Leo asked after he totally saved the world from Gaea, like the badass he was.
Piper just punched him in the arm, "Ow!" he cried out.
"I'm still pissed at you, Leo Valdez." She scowled.
"Sorry?"
The rest of the seven and company rolled their eyes as the gods snickered.
"Whose turn is it again?" Leo asked to evade further punishment from the daughter of Aphrodite.
"I'll do it." Frank said, taking the book.
"Then start it, Beast Boy."
Frank gave Leo a flat look and did so.
"Yeah, I was getting to that," Thalia said. She frowned at Naruto. "How did it take that long for you to find out?"
"My clone had...difficulty accepting what happened," Naruto said. An understatement if he'd ever said one. His clone had stammered for several minutes in disbelief before he finally made an IM to Hades. It took ten minutes just to have a private conversation due to Kushina's inquiries about the grandbaby progress.
"A good mother," Hera smirked.
"Nagging is more like it." Hermes muttered. He yelped from getting an elbow from Apollo.
"No dissing the waifu." The sun god said sternly.
While the clone was mortified, Hades admitted he never felt so amused.
"Ah, the suffering of others." Hades smiled pleasantly.
All the demigods looked at him worriedly.
Then, the clone had to deal with Hades and Pluto, neither wanted to relinquish control and explain the situation. In the end, the clone got a vague description of what happened and, with no further information, decided to make another clone while it dispelled to inform the original.
"Yeah, so did Percy and Bianca. Hades managed to convince Percy to let it be until tomorrow." Thalia let a smirk cross her face.
"I bet he threatened me." Percy pouted.
"I am just always the bad guy, huh?" Hades huffed.
"So, he threatened him?" Naruto asked with an amused smile. Hades' threats were always creative...but sometimes a little bland. Personally, he liked the 'your soul is mine' growl. That was hilarious.
"I love it." Nico smirked at his father.
"Watch it young man." Hades told his son.
"Yep. I wouldn't be surprised if Chiron held a camp meeting tomorrow," Thalia said.
"This should prove interesting." Reyna smiled. She was curious of the reactions.
Naruto hummed. "Might not be good...Cabin Six might lose their shit."
Annabeth looked sheepish as Athena huffed.
"Why?" Thalia asked.
"Minerva, Athena's Roman 'form'," Naruto used finger quotes with the word, "isn't the Roman goddess of war. She's a craftswoman."
"...Huh, that's a...rather severe demotion." Thalia blinked in surprise.
Athena glared at Ares for his snickering.
"Poor little War Muffin." Ares mocked.
Athena snarled at him, barely restraining herself.
Naruto nodded. "Not to mention the Romans stole something from her Parthenon. That'll undoubtedly cause problems."
"So if she's not the goddess of war, who is?" Thalia asked.
"Bellona, Mars' Roman twin sister...or wife...dunno, really, never asked which was accurate," Naruto said with a shrug.
"Sister." Reyna confirmed.
"Mars and she shake it up every now and again." Ares shrugged, getting Reyna and Frank to go a little green.
"Too much information." Athena said crisply.
"Nonsense!" Aphrodite tittered.
"Bellona?" Thalia asked.
"Yeah, you know, Rey-chan's mom?"
Thalia glowered at the reminder.
"Heh," Reyna smirked at how easily just her named angered Thalia.
Thalia gave a sour look to this.
Naruto, familiar with the look on his girlfriend's face but not sure why it was there, decided to change the topic. "So, um, how did you find uh...Hazel?"
Thalia's nostrils flared for a moment before she exhaled and ran a hand through her hair. "I'm tired, I'll tell you tomorrow if Bianca doesn't tell your clone tonight."
"Ouch," Apollo winced, "he's lucky he didn't get the couch."
The husbands all nodded to the fearful cushioned domain they never wished to visit.
Naruto nodded and they laid back down for the night, not another word spoken.
Zeus glowered that the boy was still sleeping there. He had his own cabin, use it!
Several hours later found Naruto awake as the sun started to rise. The blond slipped his arm from Thalia's waist and snuck out of bed. With his natural silence, he vanished from the cabin and made his way over to Cabin Thirteen. He hummed a little and interlaced his hands behind his head. "This woman is my destiny, she said...something...Hm. I could make something out of that...maybe..."
"Oh! It seems he's writing a ballet for you, Little Miss Hunter~!" Aphrodite sang, getting Thalia glare at her.
"For some reason I just really want to dance." Apollo hummed, rubbing his chin.
"Oh shut up already." Artemis sighed, she'd heard enough nonsense for now.
"Something out of what?"
Naruto didn't jump at the arrival of the masked one-eyed trainer. He simply turned, slightly disinterested, to look at Kakashi. The shinobi had taken up residence in the Big House since his 'transfer' here. Officially, his mission was to keep a tab on the Sage of the Alliance, but unofficially he was here to keep tabs on the demigods and Olympians as a whole.
"Burn the spy!" Ares declared.
"Let's not," Aphrodite said, eager to see under his mask.
An expected outcome from Naruto's bombshell, but not a dangerous one for Kakashi. Dionysus was quick on the uptake and had returned a week after the shinobi's arrival from a meeting that allowed Kakashi to stay in camp and teach the children. Naruto knew that Kakashi knew that the Olympians knew he was here to investigate them.
"All this I know that you know that I know stuff is annoying." Percy admitted.
"You mean it hurts your head?"
"Shut it, Pinecone Face." The son of Poseidon glared dully at his immortal cousin.
In short, the 'mission' was going to go smoothly as long as Kakashi kept himself in check and didn't decide to sneak around for information. Naruto was pleased to note that Kakashi had instead kept to read different books on the subject and came to him or Chiron for questions.
"Nothing Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said. He was glad to have him here, but at the same time, Kakashi's presence disturbed Naruto. It reminded him of his past and how he could never go back now that he knew the truth. "So, what's the 'myth' today?"
"Theseus and his trip to Athens," Kakashi said. He turned the page. "Thus far, Theseus has proven to be one of my favorite heroes."
"I hate him already." Dionysus sneered.
Percy rolled his eyes.
"Honestly, Dionysus, grow up." Poseidon groaned. Seriously, the wine god held a grudge longer then Hades!
The wine god huffed, like he would.
"Don't let Dionysus hear you say that." Naruto snorted.
Kakashi frowned behind his mask. "That wasn't entirely Theseus' fault. In some retellings, such as this book, Athena had woken Theseus and told him to leave Ariadne behind."
Athena smirked at Dionysus, making him glare heatedly at her.
"Do you think Dionysus, who married her, cares?" Naruto asked flatly.
"No." the party god bluntly said.
Kakashi tilted his head in thought. "Hm, true. Still, those that say Theseus chose to leave her often come without divine intervention. And knowing they exist, I'm more inclined to believe that Athena wanted Theseus, the reformer of her city Athens, to leave them and marry an Athenian."
Percy looked thoughtful on that.
"See, Dionysus?"
"Silence Athena," Dionysus warned.
Athena scoffed at his tough demeanor.
"That would mean she actually approved of him." Naruto chuckled. "Theseus was the son of Poseidon."
"Oh, you mean the one she has the hots for?"
"…He must die." Athena declared.
"Have something to share?" Poseidon asked innocently.
"Silence Fish Face!"
"...You've read too much of Ero-sennin's novels..."
"Nonsense!" Kakashi's eye shone in determination. "I've learned much from Jiraiya's brilliance, and from yours–"
"A smut writer, how demining." Artemis sighed, her poor good nephew.
"Shut it!" Naruto hissed. The less connection he had with that thing he wrote for Jiraiya, the better.
Kakashi ignored him. "And I know that the more a woman dislikes someone, the more she's attracted to him! It's the only logical explanation!"
The gods looked at Athena.
"No." she hissed like a viper.
"Makes sense to me." The lady of doves grinned wildly.
Naruto palmed his head. "You're so smote...I give you a day, tops."
Kakashi huffed and returned to his book. "Aphrodite would agree with me."
"Oui!"
"Of course she would. Talk about the juiciest gossip..." Naruto returned dryly. Yeah, Athena and Poseidon. That would happen...just as soon as Artemis had sex with someone.
"Which we all know is never." The goddess of Maidens stated firmly.
"And I'm sure Poseidon has some desires himself," Kakashi continued. "Why did he take Medusa in Athena's temple? Because she was not only a devotee to the goddess, but her beauty was comparable to Athena's statue's likeness. There's some strong desire there."
Poseidon shifted a bit.
"Something to tell the class, Poseidon?" Athena smirked.
"You wish, Owl Head."
"...Kakashi, who exactly was your mother?" Naruto asked warily.
"What's this?" Aphrodite perked up, interested.
Kakashi hummed. "Dunno really, she died when I was really young. Dad followed soon after."
Percy palmed his face, "Of course he would be."
"Did she have a name?" Naruto asked.
Kakashi blinked and his brow furrowed. "You know...I don't remember...I could've sworn I'd seen her grave...Maybe?"
Naruto stopped walking and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Kakashi-sensei...take off your mask and headband."
"Yes!" Aphrodite said in an excited whispered, leaning forward.
Kakashi shrugged and lifted his headband so that his scarred eye was shown, the Sharingan beneath it hidden by the eyelid. He lowered his mask and revealed another mask. "Ta-da!"
"…That is a brilliant trick." Hermes awed.
Naruto frowned at him. "The real mask, Kakashi."
Kakashi chuckled. "Yeah, uh, no."
Naruto crossed his arms. "Sensei. It's just you and me. No one else is awake...except for the bright jackass in the sky."
"Hey!" Apollo whined.
"You shouldn't call your father names, Naruto."
"Kakashi is a front runner for my favorite student." The sun god hummed.
Naruto's eye twitched. "He kidnapped me. I'm entitled to call him a jackass for that."
Kakashi hummed. "Hm, touché."
"...How do you know that word but Iruka-sensei-? Never mind." Naruto shook his head. "Look, sensei. Ever since Hades hired me, I've had a job that I'm very good at. I can look at kids and see they're different, where they belong."
"You find demigods...Wait, do you think...?" Kakashi blinked stupidly. He then shook his head. "No, no...Naruto, I am not a demigod. This is a ploy to get me to take my mask off, not even your father could do that."
Apollo slumped in his seat at that. Lamesauce.
"...Point. Alright then, sensei. How's about this?" Naruto really regretted what he was going to say. "We make a deal?"
Kakashi's brown eye narrowed. "What sort of deal?"
"You show me your face and I'll..." Naruto swallowed in defeat. "I'll write another Icha-Icha book."
Artemis and Aphrodite gasped, for totally different reasons.
"No, nephew! Do not submit!"
"Do it!" Aphrodite cheered.
The goddess glared at one another viciously.
Apollo sang the Hallelujah song.
The sun beamed down on him and Kakashi narrowed his eye accusingly. "You're bluffing."
Naruto groaned. "Let Apollo have Zeus strike me down if I am."
"Bluff bluff bluff bluff." Zeus chanted under his breath.
Kakashi looked up and no clouds appeared. "Huh, and I'd have thought he would've done it. Considering who you're with and all."
"I would." Zeus openly admitted with a huff.
"See? No bluff. But you have to swear on the Styx that you'll lower your mask for two minutes." Kakashi frowned. Naruto crossed his arms. "I'll even get some notes from Jiraiya and...and I'll ask Dad for help."
Apollo was about to sing the Hallelujah song again, but Artemis stepped on his foot, hard. "Ow!"
Kakashi's eye widened. Apollo had seen many a beautiful woman before, and those ladies varied in looks, personality, and lifestyles...
"Call the book Icha-Icha Kami and you've got a deal." Kakashi crossed his arms.
The male gods, and Aphrodite, looked oddly intrigued.
The rest of the goddesses did not look pleased.
"Swear on the Styx, first." Naruto's eyes narrowed.
The two held a stare for a long while before Kakashi sighed. "Fine. I swear on the Styx to lower my real mask for two minutes."
The cloudless sky boomed and Kakashi looked around. "Huh, dramatic, isn't it?"
"The sky always is." Hades quipped.
"Ha ha." Zeus mock laughed.
"That's how the Greeks roll," Naruto said with a shrug. Drama everywhere.
"And it is delicious." Aphrodite licked her lips.
"mom…" Piper said in embarrassment.
"I agree to get notes from Jiraiya, ask Dad for help and...ugh, call it Icha-Icha Kami. ...But seriously, turn down the lights!"
This was directed at the source of the sunbeam directed at him from the chariot far above the ground. The light dimmed to a minor annoyance and Naruto huffed. He'll take what he can get.
"Damn right you will." Apollo smirked, that's what he got!
Kakashi giggled perversely before he reached up and grabbed the edge of his mask. Naruto watched intently, his inner twelve-year-old crowed in victory while he tried to stay focused. The finger slipped beneath the fabric and, after a moment of hesitation, Kakashi started to bring his mask down.
The nose and cheekbones were revealed first. Kakashi's cheekbones were high, though not overly visible and his nose wasn't pristine, it was a bit wider than average, but Naruto attributed that to one too many breaks. The jawline had Naruto a bit stunned as it was revealed. A thin stubble of silver hairs was hidden beneath the mask. And it didn't itch? Interesting. Finally the lips, a bit thin and a bit pale, but overall rather handsome. Naruto was reminded of Jason Statham a bit, the Englishman's jaw was a notable feature, more so than his smooth head.
"Transporter, huh?" Leo hummed.
Yeah, Kakashi Hatake was definitely a son of Aphrodite.
Aphrodite squealed!
He even had a little pink dove above his mess of silver hair to prove it.
Kakashi was engulfed in a bright light that swiftly vanished as soon as it appeared. Now, Kakashi had lost his bird's nest and it was trimmed down to a short shag that was more of a controlled storm of spikes, much like Naruto's own.
"Ninja's have the nicest hair." Piper noted.
"Pinky girl." Thalia grunted.
"Almost all of them." The daughter of love corrected.
His Jonin attire was gone. Kakashi cleaned up well in relaxed jeans, and a tight Camp shirt that had a low neckline. Like Naruto, Kakashi's feet still bore the combat sandals they were used to and his headband still rested around his head.
Oddly, Naruto felt a bit proud Aphrodite approved of their combat sandals. It was nice to have stylish and useful footwear.
"Stylish and functionality is important." The love goddess nodded.
Kakashi, however, freaked. "My mask! My vest! Where'd my stuff go!?"
"You got jacked, bro." Piper deadpanned, turning to give her mother a small glare.
"I gave it back!"
"You still took my jacket in the first place!"
"Ladies, please, you're both pretty." Apollo drawled.
Mother and daughter huffed as one.
"Your mommy jacked them," Naruto said with a snicker. He knelt down and bowed his head. "All hail Kakashi Hatake, son of Aphrodite, goddess of love, beauty and the lady of doves!"
The demigods all clapped, Piper did so with more enthusiasm.
His voice echoed through camp and Kakashi paled. He covered his face with his hands and shirt. "Wait, I promised to take my mask off for two minutes and only two minutes!"
"Yeah, and it's been three minutes," Naruto said as he stood back up. "Aphrodite, however, gives you a makeover when she claims you as one of her children. Maybe you'll find some cloth in Cabin Ten to use. Maybe you can just ask her for it back."
Kakashi kept his face covered as he ran away. Naruto laughed as he heard Kakashi shout at the groggy campers. "Don't look at me!"
"I'm hideous!" Leo cried out, sobbing into his hands.
Jason patted his shoulder, "There there, Leo." He said mockingly.
"Curse you pretty boys!"
Naruto wiped a tear away from his eye. "It's the simple things in life."
"It really is. Like blue cookies."
Thalia looked at Annabeth, "Why?" she just asked.
Annabeth shrugged, love was weird.
When he entered Cabin Thirteen, Naruto received all of the memories of his clone. It turns out Bianca did tell Naruto's clone what had happened and how she met her sister, Hazel.
Apparently, after her run in with Melinoe and the return of Hades' sword – which resulted in a stern glare from Hades to his wife while Kushina snickered and received a look of betrayal from Persephone
Demeter glared at Hades, "Hey, I was trying to keep the balance."
"I agree with Hades." Zeus nodded, a sour look on his face.
"Third." Poseidon pitched in.
"And the end of the world is coming…again." Percy hung his head, getting the room to laugh as the Big Three glared (Poseidon brooded) at him.
– Bianca decided to search out her mother's spirit in the Fields of Asphodel in order to put an end to all of her insecurities about her mother. She wasn't successful in finding her mother, but did stumble across Hazel Lévesque, whom Pluto had hidden away and cared for in secret.
Hazel smiled at Hades for that. She got a slight nod back.
With the cunning mind she inherited from her father and honed with Kushina, Bianca returned her sister to life by tricking Thanatos.
"…Girl's got balls." Ares whistled.
"I would've paid to see that." Percy admitted.
"Same," Frank nodded.
The god of the dead did complain to Hades, but the Lord of the Underworld merely waved his complaints off, amused and proud of his daughter's actions.
"I really am. Thanatos is very crafty in his own right." Hades noted with a quirked lip.
After a final goodbye to Kushina, Bianca brought Hazel back to camp, where she was claimed immediately.
"I'm at Camp Half-Blood? Cool!" Hazel beamed.
"Well isn't that a relief?"
Naruto furrowed his brow at Helios' comment. And where have you been?
"Oh, just...checking on something..." Helios tried hard to sound innocent.
Naruto turned into the cabin bathroom and looked at Helios' face in the mirror. How? You're stuck in my body...er, soul...right?
Helios snickered at the first description. "Yeah, but I'm still all-seeing. And while you are a handsome son of a bitch, no offense."
"I'm pretty sure Kaachan would take it as a compliment," Naruto drawled.
"You're just not my type. Too much alpha male in you."
"Nonsense! Nothing wrong with a little Alpha, right, Artemis?" Aphrodite gave the huntress a wolfish whistle.
Artemis just gave her a burning glare.
Naruto rolled his eyes and walked out of the bathroom, just as Nico came out of his bedroom. He greeted his charge with a tussle of Nico's messy black hair. The boy grumbled at him and tiredly slapped his hand away, which made Naruto laugh.
"Sleep well?" Naruto asked.
Nico glowered at him with bags under his eyes.
"I spot the being of Emo Nico." Thalia hummed.
"Shut up, Hunter Girl." Nico glowered.
"One sister was fine, but two up all night gossiping about some boy named 'Sammy' is annoying."
Frank brooded at that.
"Awkward~" Leo sang as Hazel looked flustered.
"Sammy what?" Naruto inquired, curious.
Nico shrugged. "Dunno, don't really care."
"As any eleven year old would." Apollo sniggered, "Until puberty!"
"Whoo." Nico deadpanned.
Naruto chuckled in amusement as Nico left via shadow travel to the pavilion to get some breakfast. The blond guardian went to the next room over – where Bianca had moved so she and Will could get some private time,
Nico grunted at that.
Percy patted his shoulder, "Hey, it's cool."
Nico just grunted again.
though she used the excuse that she was too old to stay with Nico – and knocked on the door. "Wakey-wakey ladies, this is your morning alarm."
A duo of tired groans was his response. With a roll of his eyes, Naruto cracked the door, only to slam it shut immediately after. He got a rather loud French exclamation from an unfamiliar voice, the owner of he assumed to be Hazel, and a cry of his name from Bianca.
"Girl gossip?" Hazel smiled softly, she would have loved to do that with Bianca. Such a shame.
"No more arguments, wake up! Out of bed by the time I'm showered or I'm coming in with a bucket of water for the both of you!"
"He wouldn't!" Hazel panicked.
"He would." Piper snickered at her friend.
His warning given, Naruto went to his room to shower and change. He was done in five minutes and unsurprisingly, both girls were still in their room.
"Someone's going to get wet."
"Leo Valdez!" Hestia scolded.
"I'm not wrong." Leo shrugged.
"Boy has a point," Ares snickered, it was a good one.
"Well, you warned them." Helios chuckled. Naruto shook his head in disapproval and went to fill two buckets up. When he found two buckets and filled them, he returned and kicked Bianca's door in. The two girls were sprawled in opposite directions on the sole bunk, Bianca with her arms around a pillow and Hazel curled up in a ball. Naruto made a clone and handed a bucket to him.
"One...two...three!" Naruto and his clone dumped the water on both of their heads. Hazel and Bianca shot up with shrill shrieks and both of them fell out of the bed.
"Hehe…" Nico tried to hold it in.
Hazel pushed him with a pout. She'd get him herself next time if he thought that was funny.
Hazel glared up at the clone with golden eyes, her dark hair soaked to her cocoa brown skin. The clone laughed and vanished in an explosion of smoke, which allowed his bucket to fall on her head like a helmet.
"Not cool, Naruto!" Bianca glared at the smirking blond.
Naruto tossed his bucket to the side. "Well, if you two had decided to wake up instead of sleep in..."
"We were up all night, coullion (idiot)!" Hazel grit out as she pushed the bucket off her head and glared at Naruto.
"Angry Hazel is angry!" Piper grunted threatening, getting a slap from Hazel.
"Such language!" Leo gasped.
Naruto just shrugged and crossed his arms. "Not my fault you two were up talking past lights out."
Hazel crossed her arms and grumbled under her breath. "Nec sapit pueri instar bimuli termula patris dormientis in ulna. (He hasn't got the brains of a sleeping two-year-old rocked in his father's arm)."
"Oooooh." The Romans said.
"Quod si nonfacisaliquiddicere, non dicere aliquid. (If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all)." Naruto delighted in the look of surprise that overtook Hazel's face and smirked as her cheeks flushed. "Anything you can do, I can do better~!"
"I can do anything better than you~!" Annabeth sang.
"Annabeth's theme song."
"Percy!" the blonde snapped with flushed cheeks at her grinning boyfriend.
Hazel just glowered at him.
Naruto turned and walked out while he sang softly. "I can do anything better than you~! No you can't, yes I can..."
His singing lingered in the hallway while the two girls got dressed for the day. Once they came out, Naruto had downgraded to whistling as he examined one of his trick arrows. He looked up and the whistling stopped.
"Okay, are we ready to start the day now?" Naruto asked with a smirk. The girls glared at him.
"That's a yes." Annabeth smirked as Hazel pouted at her.
Percy rubbed his chin, only to get his cheek pulled, "Ow!"
"Don't even think about it." Annabeth warned him.
"No prob, you do that for the both us." Percy shot back.
Annabeth sat a little straighter at that.
"Good! Now, come along ladies. I'm sure Will's excited to see his girlfriend safe and sound...and he'll be so excited to hear all about the quest she suddenly left on without warning."
Bianca's eyes widened and she shot past Naruto with an apology to Hazel over her shoulder. Will was a bit of a worrywart,
"Big time," Nico snickered, a small smile on his face.
which made sense since he was one of the best in camp when it came to medicine and healers. Naruto smirked and looked over at Hazel.
"I guess that means it's just you and me, Hazel," Naruto said with a shrug.
"Pardon if I'm not enthused," Hazel said dryly.
"You're pardoned milady." Leo said in a Southern accent.
"Shut up." The geokinetic glared.
She crossed her arms and turned to him with a frown on her face. "I don't need to be protected."
"Oh, I know." Naruto nodded. "Neither do Nico or Bianca, they're both strong enough now. Bianca's already beaten a Titan
Hades looked smug at that.
and Nico's helped complete a quest.
"And I've helped with a delivery." Nico added with his statue postal service.
"I've been looking for interns." Hermes told his young cousin.
"No thanks." Nico waved him off, he was going to relax from excessive traveling for a while.
Still, I have to keep a semblance of an eye on one of you three to make sure I don't piss off the boss downstairs."
Hazel's frown lightened. "Is that why you leave camp a lot?"
"Gossiping about me already? Does someone have a crush?" Naruto teased.
Frank frowned while Hazel gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.
"You're handsome, but not that handsome." Hazel shook her head.
"Hey!" Apollo frowned.
"Sorry?" Hazel shrugged.
Naruto put his hands over his chest. "You wound me!"
Hazel rolled her eyes. "Uh-huh..."
Naruto dropped his hands into his pockets. "I should warn you, don't get too comfortable here. Eventually I'm going to have to take you somewhere. First, I'm going to bring you and someone else with me to Canada."
Frazel smiled at one another.
Aphrodite looked giddy.
Hazel arched a dark brow. "Canada?"
"Yeah, you know, the place with Mounties, bears, hockey, and great health care
"Suck it." Frank grinned, his country ruled!
...Hm...maybe Konoha should implement a similar system...or the Land of Fire as a whole," Naruto said to himself before he shook it off. Why did he care? He lived in the States now, Konoha was none of his business.
"What's Konoha?" Hazel asked.
"Birthplace. Where you from?" Naruto asked.
"New Awlins," she said.
"Nice funerals there." Nico noted fondly.
"I'll pass." Hazel told him dryly, dying once was enough.
"Alright, second question. When are you from?"
"The thirties," Hazel said. Bianca had explained to her that sixty years had passed since Hazel was alive. Hazel asked if that made her the older sister, and Bianca, who was thirteen and from the early twenties, told her flatly 'no'.
"Hey, I am older." Hazel frowned, she was born in 1928! Nico was from the early thirties, "She's so lying!"
"The fiend!" Apollo gasped, looking at Artemis with a mock glare.
Artemis just returned it, "You are still younger."
"I demand proof!"
"Mother."
"…She's too biased!"
"You missed the roarin' twenties, huh? Shame. How'd the depression treat you?"
"Didn't really get that affected by it," Hazel grunted.
Hazel looked down at that. While she loved her mother, her greed was still a sour subject.
Naruto arched a brow at the reply but didn't press further. "Okay...Wanna tell me who Sammy is?"
Hazel frowned at him and then looked ahead as the pavilion came into view. "Not real-"
"Yo gringo!" Naruto and Hazel turned as a familiar elf-eared boy jogged up to Naruto with a grin on his face.
"And here it comes." Leo snickered.
Hazel buried her face in her hands, "This is going to be so embarrassing."
"Wanna see what Beck and me fixed while you were gone?"
"Later, shrimp," Naruto smirked at the boy. "And it's Beck and I."
"Bah, whatever. English is a pain in the butt." The boy shrugged.
Percy gave Leo a smile and held out his fist.
Leo returned the fist bump.
He took note of Naruto's companion. "Sup?"
"S-Sammy?" Hazel asked with wide eyes.
"Who?" Leo looked the girl over.
Frank glared at Leo, "Hey, you haven't even shown up yet dude, no glares." He countered.
The son of Mars huffed at that.
Naruto rolled his eyes and shook his head, Leo's thoughts were easy to read. And Naruto wasn't even psychic.
"Her boyfriend," Naruto said. "Er, ex-boyfriend."
Hazel glowered at him again and Leo arched a brow. "I look like her ex-boyfriend? How is that possible?"
"Time Travel!" Apollo announced in a deep voice.
"Not funny," Zeus frowned.
Hermes snorted, "I beg to differ. Doctor Who."
The got a majority of people to hum the theme.
"His name was Sam Valdez," Hazel said.
Leo blinked. "Whoa...that was my great-grandfather's name...Coincidence?"
"No." Everyone in the room said.
Naruto furrowed his brows. "No. Demigods don't have coincidences."
While Naruto tried to sort this all out, Leo sighed in relief and rested his hands behind his head. "Well, at least this isn't one of those Grandfather Paradox situations..."
"Too true." Leo nodded, he only had one love of his life thank you very much.
"Grandfather what?" Hazel asked.
Naruto answered without looking at her. "The Grandfather Paradox, where if one goes back in time and kills his or her grandfather, thus ensuring the time traveler never existed. However, if the time traveler never existed, then the grandfather would never be killed, which would mean the time traveler is born after all and the paradox repeats without solution."
Leo was shocked. He knew what the paradox was from Doctor Who.
"We all did." Percy nodded.
"Did you understand it?" Annabeth raised a brow.
Percy shrugged, "The basics."
"...Dude, how did you-?"
"A science fiction writer named Nat Schachner coined the paradox," Naruto said. "He was a legacy of Apollo."
"A legacy?" Leo asked.
"A descendant of a god or goddess," Naruto said. "Greeks don't really hold the legacy system in play since the appearances of ancestors' abilities are so rare and their scents are diluted."
"But Camp Jupiter does." Jason stated.
"Our camp is so much smaller." Percy muttered, they had bakeries! All those cookies to be blue…
"It's fine." Annabeth told him, they had quality, not quantity.
"Oh...Camp would have a lot more people if we did," Leo said once he put it all together.
"Yes, yes it would," Naruto said under his breath with a frown on his face. "We've got to go, Leo. I'll see you and Beck later. Might need to take my car out..."
"What? But you just brought it back!" Leo scowled. "That's not a lot of time to upgrade it..."
"Then tune it." Naruto started to walk away. Hazel gave Leo another look before she followed Naruto to her table.
Leo scowled. "Tune it? Waste of time
"You upgrade, not tune," Leo agreed, always continue to make it better!
...maybe I could get a slice of that H-bomb and improve it...just gotta grab some food and head to the 'rage. And make sure Emery doesn't eat it...stupid cat."
"This is why I'm a dragon guy." The pyro nodded to his other.
"Campers!" Chiron's voice directed most of the attention to where he stood at the head table.
A loud whistle had everyone look at Kakashi, who had grabbed his emergency spare mask hidden in his scrolls in the Big House,
"Sweetie, no!" Aphrodite pouted.
"He looks good." Hermes said, "More mysterious!"
"He has a face to show for a reason, he shouldn't hide it!"
sat at the table on the centaur's other side, much to Cabin Ten's dismay. They hardly got a glimpse at their new older brother's face before he got the black mask back on, though a few of the girls felt a bit sick they had crushed on their brother for the past few months.
"Like the old saying; Incest is wincest~!" Aphrodite sang.
"Aphrodite, honestly!" Hestia frowned.
Aphrodite just pointed to all the elder gods.
Hestia pouted at this.
He turned to Chiron and nodded. "Floor's yours, Chiron."
"Thank you, Kakashi," Chiron said. He glanced at the god beside him and added. "At least someone helps me around here."
Dionysus whistled innocently as the rest of the gods rolled their eyes. The wine god was honestly a lost cause.
Dionysus huffed and slurped loudly through a straw into a can of Diet Coke. Chiron ignored his antics and looked back at his campers. "If you hadn't learned before, we have two new campers."
"Do not count me among them," Kakashi said sharply. He was nearly thirty for goodness sake! And he hadn't been an eligible 'camper' since he was five.
"Super ninja skills and all." Apollo nodded.
"He's still a camper, any demigod is." Zeus rumbled.
Chiron ignored him. "First, Kakashi Hatake, our new combat teacher, has been claimed as Aphrodite's. You may move into Cabin Ten whenever-"
"Pass." Kakashi's flat denial got a loud group whine from the table his 'siblings' sat at. Silena sent him a pout along with Piper and their other sisters, and the boys gave him pleading looks.
"We do need more guys in there. It's overly girly." Piper sighed.
"Nonsense!" Aphrodite huffed. She just ha more girls than boys is all.
"Where's the love, bro?" a boy, Mitchel, asked him aloud.
Kakashi closed his eye and smiled at him. "In combat practice, Mitchel. You know that."
"Burn," Jason winced.
"I'm sure they'll benefit from it." Reyna commented.
"With bruises and all." Thalia snickered.
The table scowled at him. "That's not love!"
Ares' children snickered before Mark called out. "Hell yeah it is! That's tough love right there!"
"Amen!" Ares laughed.
Aphrodite pursed her lips at that.
"Thank you Mark," Kakashi said with a nod. "Aptly put."
"Be grateful he hasn't used the Leaf Village's most secret and deadly technique on you," Naruto said. He smirked secretly while somewhere else, Jason Grace and Percy Jackson shuddered.
Percy and Jason had a traumatized look on their faces, as if they could feel their others pain. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.
Kakashi began to rub his chin in thought and Thalia choked on some water due to her laughter when the man audibly hummed as though he was considering it.
Chiron cleared his throat. "Yes, well, secret techniques aside...Our other new camper is Hazel Lévesque, daughter of...Hades."
"Pluto," Hazel corrected. The campers looked at her and she shied away into her meal.
"And here it comes…" Jason rolled his eyes.
"Burn the witch!"
"Ares!" Hades snapped, murder in his eyes as Hazel flinched at the witch commented.
Frank glared at his father, who shrugged.
"What?"
"Yes, er..." Chiron looked to Dionysus, who let a sly smirk cross his face.
"The vote came back. The council agreed that our lovely brats are to be informed ever since Navajo's stunt last summer," he said. He looked at his nails. "Personally, I hope there's another Civil War. Less brats to worry about that way."
"…Wow, you really are pitiful, Dionysus." Hermes commented, the other gods giving him looks.
Dionysus shrugged uncaringly.
"I wonder what Caster and Pollux think." Percy hummed.
Dionysus cut a glare to Percy, but he just ignored.
"Mr. D!" Chiron hissed while the camp began to murmur in worry.
"No, he's right. I'm sure his children would love it," Kakashi said as he flipped through a college-level American History Book. "I mean, the threat of death is bad enough in one war, as Castor can atone to, but a civil war atop of it? Who knows what might happen?"
"And Kakashi for the win." Hermes snickered as the wine god scowled.
Dionysus scowled and glared at the man that seemed to ignore him. At his children's table, Castor shivered like someone had just walked over his grave while Pollux frowned. Naruto shook his head, amazed at Kakashi's blunt statement.
"Why would there be another Civil War?" Annabeth asked with a frown.
"Here it comes." Jason commented, making Annabeth flush and rub her face. Oh, this was going to go smoothly. Not.
"Yes, Mr. D, why would there be another Civil War?" Kakashi asked. He glanced slyly at the god. "Do tell us about the mistakes made by all parties."
"Oh he is just asking for it." The young god spat lowly.
Dionysus' face purpled. "I will turn you into a-!"
"Dove? I got you beat, I can do that already," Kakashi said. He exploded in a plume of smoke and a dove with the same mask over its beak and a band around its eye appeared where he sat.
Aphrodite clapped, "Even a mask and headband! Wonderful accessorizing, Kakie~"
Dionysus glared at the bird and it exploded once more to reveal Kakashi back to normal. He eye-smiled at the god. "Ta-da!"
"Kakashi, please," Chiron said urgently while Dionysus fumed.
"What? It's not my fault that he doesn't take his father's words to heart." He looked directly at Dionysus though he didn't turn from his seat.
Zeus nodded, maybe Dionysus actually learned his lesson and his sentence could very well be reduced further. But no, all he does is whine about.
Dionysus' face burned at that.
"Gods aren't all knowing, after all. Even Apollo's prophecies don't specify what will happen, just that something could happen depending on a person."
Dionysus stood abruptly and, with a scowl on his face, turned to the man. "Would you like to test me, bird boy?"
"Oooh, can't handle the truth?" Apollo mocked Dionysus. He honestly deserved it with the crap he put on their kids.
"Hm? Oh no. I'd die in a heartbeat," Kakashi said calmly. He gave the god another eye-smile. "I fail to see why you're so upset. I'm just telling you my opinion."
"I think that might be a crime," Percy snorted.
"Silence, Peter."
"No, he doesn't have to." Poseidon told Mr. D harshly, narrowing his sea green eyes.
When Dionysus remained quiet, Kakashi opened his eye in what looked like honest confusion. "Is that not allowed?"
"Shots fired." Ares chuckled.
"...Kakashi has balls," Nico said in awe.
Nico nodded in agreement with his other.
He winced when Bianca slapped him on the back of his head and Hazel frowned in confusion.
The demigods snickered a bit at that while Hazel flushed.
Percy was loving Kakashi more and more.
"Like you wouldn't believe, kid," Naruto chuckled and ate some more of his ramen. That was an impressive comeback to Mr. D. Even Naruto wouldn't dare get on the god's bad side.
"Because he's smart." The party god grunted.
Then again, Naruto had died already...and yet, so had Kakashi against Pein...Naruto frowned and wondered what that said about him.
"Mr. D," Chiron began with a stern frown. "I suggest you go read a magazine. You do not have to, but-!"
"Do not lecture me, Chiron!" Dionysus returned with a scowl.
"Yes, because if he did you'd throw a hissy fit." Zeus snorted.
"Like son, like father." Poseidon smirked, getting a scowl from Zeus.
He stepped away from his seat and glared at Kakashi. "This is not over, dove boy."
"And yet, you're the one walking away," Kakashi noted once the god was halfway from the table.
"Suck that D, D." Ares bellowed a laugh.
"Says the loser." Dionysus scowled.
"I might have lost, but at least I don't run away." Ares mocked right back.
Dionysus turned to glare at him and Kakashi looked up from his book. "Just stating a fact, sir."
"...Indeed." Dionysus turned and vanished from sight in the blink of an eye.
"And that was beautiful." Percy smiled. Mr. D needed a good kick in the pants that was perfect.
"Kakashi, please go for a walk," Chiron said with an insistent glare.
Kakashi glanced at him and then rose with a small yawn. "That sounds like a very good idea. I'll be at the stables if you need me Chiron."
"Well, safe spot from Chiron," Annabeth giggled.
Chiron's eyes narrowed as the ninja vanished in a cloud of smoke. He then rubbed his head with both hands. "Today is just not my day..."
"Chiron, what did Mr. D mean?" Annabeth asked again after a few moments of silence passed. "What happened to camp during the Civil War?"
Chiron sighed and looked at his campers. "...During the Civil War...there was another camp that...had many altercations with Camp Half-Blood."
"There's a whole textbook on it," Leo snickered.
"Ugh, so not reading that." Percy groaned.
"The past is the past." Annabeth smiled at him.
"Thank you!" Percy exclaimed with a beaming grin.
"Another camp?!" The campers burst into hushed whispers and murmurs.
"Campers...Campers!" Chiron stomped his hooves to regain attention, but the demigods were too riled up.
"Oh for the love of – EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Frank paused at that, "Uh, sorry." He said.
"Forgiven." Hestia said with pursed lips. Honestly, such foul language!
Naruto shouted as he rose from his seat. The campers silenced as Naruto's voice carried, Hazel's hands were over her ears and Bianca had covered Nico's once Naruto shot from his seat. With all eyes on him, Naruto glared back at all of them. "You will not talk while Chiron explains this moment in history that you have been denied. You will not interrupt him with questions about why it happened or how. You will keep your mouths shut, your asses planted, and your eyes on Chiron for the next five minutes or so help me I'll have you all in drills for the next two days straight! Clear!?"
"I think that's his Roman side." Reyna commented.
Jason whistled, "Oh, definitely."
The campers nodded mutely and immediately turned to Chiron. Chiron gave Naruto a bewildered look before he nodded in thanks. Naruto nodded in return and sat down as the centaur cleared his throat and began to talk about Camp Jupiter. He explained that when Greece fell to Rome, the gods gained new aspects and thus campers were not purely Greek anymore. The Roman aspects still exist to this day and their children had a camp of their own. Chiron then explained that due to altercations during the civil war, Camp Jupiter was moved to California, which explained why the amount of monsters in the West was a greater number than in the east.
When he was finished, the campers soaked this all in before Annabeth rose up in anger. "There's a Roman camp!?"
Annabeth hung her head, great. Just what she needed, to embarrass herself over her mother's grudge.
"Yes there is," Chiron said with a nod. "They are actually our western front and have held a good campaign from our reports against Kronos' army."
"But-but they conquered Greece!" Annabeth scowled. "Who's to say they won't leave us dry and helpless when Kronos prepares an all-out attack? You said they nearly wiped us out, and from what I've heard it sounds like they're a larger force than we are! They could be using this to -"
The Romans looked at the bright red Annabeth, "Um, sorry."
"There's that Athena paranoia." Hermes said in a chipper tone.
Athena scowled at him.
"That's enough, Annabeth!" Thalia rose and frowned at the blonde.
"Thalia's going to lay down the butt-whoop." Nico whistled.
Annabeth stared at her in shock. "You...Thalia, they're Roman, they -!"
"I know they're Roman, Annie," Thalia said with a calm face. "My little brother, Jason Grace, is the son of Jupiter."
"Hi." Jason waved, getting Piper to playfully swat his arm with a smile.
Annabeth quickly put it together. "That's why you kept going to California!? You've known?!"
Thalia glanced at Annabeth, "You sound so accusing."
"Sorry." The sheepish blonde said.
"I have too," Piper said softly, though through the quiet it was easily heard. Annabeth turned to her in mild surprise along with Piper's table.
"So have I," Naruto's voice surprised the camp. His eyes had hardened and his arms crossed over his chest as he stood from his seat once again. He lifted his shirt's sleeve and released the seal that hid his tattoo. "In my...absence, I had spent a year at Camp Jupiter. Afterwards, I spent at least two months at their training grounds with Lupa. Last year, I reintroduced Camp Jupiter to their Greek cousins and for the past few months, I have been preparing to make an official alliance with them."
"You don't have that right!" Annabeth frowned.
"And you do?" Jason asked, not liking this Annabeth right now.
"No, Annabeth, you have no right!" Thalia frowned at her friend.
Jason nodded along with the other Romans.
Annabeth gave a painful groan at her other's ignorance.
"What Chiron hasn't told you is that our camp started most of the altercations between the Greeks and Romans, all because of one goddess' grudge!"
"What's her name again?" Ares asked mockingly, getting Athena to grit her teeth.
"Thalia-!"
"No, Chiron, they have to know," Naruto said in support of Thalia's words. He nodded to her.
"Annabeth." Thalia's voice had a hint of apology to it, but it was hidden under a layer of anger. "Most of the fights were caused by a child of Athena."
Annabeth's angry frown turned confused. "What?"
"When Rome conquered Athens," Chiron began softly. "They poured salt in the wound by stealing the Athena Parthenon.
"Which is now returned." Reyna stated factually.
Athena looked thankful at this.
Then, to add more insult to injury, Athena's status as a war goddess was dropped when she became Minerva and the domain was given to Bellona, Mars' sister."
Undeterred, Annabeth spoke again. "But Minerva's children-!"
The Roman desperately kept in a few sniggers at that.
"Minerva has no children in Camp Jupiter," Naruto said with his eyes locked on Annabeth. The words shook the members of Athena's cabin, stunned everyone into dead silence. "She is a true virgin goddess like Artemis and Hestia. No loophole births, no love for her camp, and definitely no support to the Romans."
Annabeth sat down as though she had been stunned by a Taser rather than words. Naruto looked away from her and looked over the group. "Minerva has been quoted in her distain for the Romans that stripped her of her proud rank. As like with Athena, Minerva is vengeful and does not take to insult lightly. Her loss of domain has made her vengeful."
"Like a crazy cat lady." Ares laughed and he winced, "Ow!" the war god rubbed his head.
Athena put her Aegis away. That'll teach him.
"But we are not here to discuss the problems of Athena or Minerva," Naruto said. He looked to Hazel with a gentle smile. "We have a guest present. Hazel Lévesque is a daughter of Pluto." He looked at the campers with a glare. "You will treat her no different than you would any other camper. If I hear otherwise..."
"I was treated fine, for the most part." Jason said, giving Annabeth a glance.
"Ugh," Annabeth gave a pained noise. Why couldn't people let things go?!
The unsaid threat lingered in the air and a lot of campers let audible gulps escape them. The campers nodded and returned to their breakfast, small chatter escaped them as they resumed to dine and discuss this new discovery. Naruto handed his dishes to a nymph and then made his way towards table one, his tattoo on full display for each table as he walked past them.
Nico leaned in front of Bianca with a smirk on his face and looked at Hazel. "Told ya he was awesome."
"...He-he said..." Hazel looked pale from Naruto's swear.
"Gosh darn it!"
"Shut up, Leo!" Hazel snapped, cheeks red.
Bianca rolled her eyes and gave Nico a lopsided smile. "Pure of mind, pure of heart..."
"...Lamesauce," Nico snorted and sat back.
Zeus frowned, he swore he heard that somewhere before.
"That was sick," Leo grinned.
"I liked it." Percy smirked, Kakashi was awesome.
"Who's next?" Frank asked.
"I'll take it." Percy said, snagging the book. Might as well get his turn over with.
Happy Valentine's Day guys! Enjoy!