Chapter 7:
Ohh, can't anybody see
We've got a war to fight
Never found our way
Regardless of what they say
"Hey daddy" Lexa says through the phone.
"Well, what a pleasant surprised" Gustus, Lexa's dad replies "How is my daughter?"
"I am…fine dad! How are you?" Lexa stutters trying not to break at hearing the familiar voice.
"I'm good, but at the sound of your voice you don't sound fine" Her father replies.
"I just miss you, dad" Lexa replies.
"Are you sure everything is well?" Gustus tries again.
"Yeah, everything is well father" Lexa replies.
"Ok, Lexa! I don't mind my eldest daughter calling me but you know as much as I do, you never call just to call me" Gustus stops the tiptoeing and asks her.
Lexa lets out a nervous chuckle "You're right, dad"
"So?" He asks again waiting for her to finally spill it out.
"I lost a baby, dad" Lexa says at the edge of crying.
"What do you mean, you lost a baby?" Gustus asks her.
"I was pregnant and I lost it" Lexa explains her heart clutching painfully.
"That's really sad to hear. How are you feeling?" He asks her.
"Just like I lost a baby!" Lexa replies with a sob.
There is a silence at both ends of the phone, neither of them knows what to say. Lexa knows that her father is really bad at comforting.
"And how is Clarke treating you?" He asks.
Lexa hesitates for a moment then says "I don't know dad, she is different."
"Do you wanna come home?" Gustus asks her then when she doesn't answer he adds "Maybe it will do you good, to rest you know"
"Maybe, I will" Lexa says hearing Clarke's footsteps.
"Think about it, Lexa" He insists.
"I will dad. Thank you" She says before hanging up.
Clarke comes out from their bedroom and looks at her with a smile "Good morning"
"Morning" Lexa replies flatly wiping her tears.
"Your dad?" Clarke asks her and Lexa nods. Clarke smiles at her and sits with her leaning closer and kissing her cheek. She doesn't know how to act around her wife anymore. She doesn't want to overstep.
She noticed Lexa was already dressed "I thought we could have breakfast here, just you and me" Clarke whispers close to Lexa's neck.
"Not today!" Lexa grimaces leaning back "Raven is waiting for me at the Grounders" She says as she stands up away from the couch and Clarke.
Clarke frowns and nods "Ok! I'm gonna dress and we can.." She gestures to the door.
When Clarke and Lexa get to the café, they were surprised to find Dana sitting comfortably with their friends and talking animatedly.
"Good morning" Both Clarke and Lexa say to their friends.
"Dana!" Clarke smiles at the tennis player "It's nice to see you around".
"Thank you" Dana blushes.
"So how are you guys doing today?" Clarke asks looking at her friends.
"Good, how about you Clarke?" Raven says looking awkwardly at her.
"I'm fine" Clarke raises her eyebrow, confused about the tone Raven used. She looks between her and Lexa then shakes her head. Her thoughts are driving her crazy.
"What about you Lexa?" Octavia asks feeling sorry for her friend.
"I'm dealing with it" Lexa replies sadly with a fake smile.
"That must be hard for you guys" Dana acknowledges.
"It is" Clarke agrees and Lexa huffs.
No one missed the way Lexa was acting and the silence was awkward so Alice quickly replies to change the sensitive topic "Nobody asks but I feel fantastic".
"All, I'd ask if we didn't spend…" Raven gestures between the two of them.
"Oh! Right" Alice chuckles and Luna looks worriedly between her cousin and her friend.
"So Lexa are you ready for our crazy weekend?" Alice asks Lexa who shifts uncomfortably in her seat.
"Yeah..I…emm, I am" She stutters and Clarke looks at her.
"Weekend?" Lexa could see a frown and a little bit of something not good at all in Clarke's eyes.
"Yeah! I'm going to the Dinah weekend shore with Alice and Raven" Lexa informs Clarke.
"You're going too?" Dana interrupts asking surprised.
Clarke was fuming in the inside, it was the most embarrassing moment she had to experience and in front of all her friends. The atmosphere quickly turned tense, she was feeling so angry at Lexa but she couldn't say anything.
"Yeah" Alice replies enthusiastically.
"Stop bragging, I'm not going there" Luna pouts poking her cousin.
"Don't be a baby, Clarke and Octavia are not coming too" Alice replies.
"Actually, I invited O so she is coming with me" Dana replies with a smile.
Everyone around the table is looking at Octavia now! As if she wasn't feeling uncomfortable already.
"You are?" Raven's voice is heavy, Octavia meets her eyes and replies "Yeah" She says hooking her arm around Dana's.
Luna looks at them, the tension is palpable 'How does not Alice see that there is something happening between the two of them' She thinks making a note to herself to talk to her cousin and enlighten her about the situation.
Clarke feels like she is going crazy, her friends along with her wife are talking about something she didn't know about a minute ago. Octavia looks gay despite the fact that not long ago she stormed at their place and they end up to that conclusion but she still denied. Raven and Lexa are getting close, closer than she would like. She starts feeling a little bit jealous. Raven is jealous too of Dana because Octavia is clearly attached to the hips to her but she is what it seems like sleeping and dating Alive, Luna's cousin.
She takes a deep breath and takes out her phone that kept buzzing all the way to the café. Raven looks at her smiling while checking her phone while Lexa is oblivion to it.
"Clarke!" Raven uses the same tone again.
"Yeah?" Clarke can't help but feel weird at Raven's behavior with her.
"How is the work at the museum, still as busy as it used to?" Raven asks.
"Emm! Yeah the closer the exhibition gets, the busier we are" Clarke replies shrugging her shoulders then looks down at her phone again.
"So you're not having lunch yet" Alice adds and when Clarke frowns looking questioningly at her she adds nervously "Lexa told us that you barely eat because of work" She chuckles nervously.
"Yeah! Same old me, I guess" Clarke replies feeling uncomfortable then her brain catches up! 'I did have lunch with Niylah!' She smiles nervously at them to hide her thoughts, she looks at Raven and finds her staring at her as well as Alice.
Raven's attention is tore between Clarke on her phone and Octavia's weird behavior with Dana. She can't help feeling jealous and it irritates her.
Clarke takes it as her cue to leave before things gets worse, she leans in and kisses Lexa on her cheek "See you tonight".
"You're going back to work, already?" Octavia asks.
"Yeah, we're getting close to the dead line and I took the day off yesterday" Clarke explained.
"They'll miss you" Raven comments and Clarke frowns at her.
"Ok, have a nice day guys" Clarke replies ignoring Raven's comment.
Clarke walks few steps away leaving when she hears Lexa's voice calling her. She looks back not sure if she heard well and sees Lexa coming her way.
"I'll call Dan Foxworthy today, are you sure you wanna do it?" Lexa asks.
"Of course, Lexa! Anything for you" Clarke replies pecking her lips then adds "Call me"
Lexa raises her eyebrow confused. Clarke must be angry at her for not telling her about her plans for the weekend but she is not or she hides it well.
After Clarke left, Octavia went to help Bellamy and her employees to avoid feeling Raven's gaze on her and Dana takes it a cue to leave feeling less comfortable without Octavia's presence.
Luna takes the opportunity to open the conversation purposely to prompt Raven's reaction "I'm confused! Is Dana and Octavia a thing?"
As she predicted her words got Raven's attention, she looked at her but said nothing while Lexa was too busy fidgeting with her phone, Alice replies "Yeah, I guess so otherwise why would Dana invite her to Palm Springs?"
Luna looks at Raven again and meets her eyes but the brunette looks instantly away and it only pushed Luna to ask her "Raven, what do you think?"
Raven understood what Luna was trying to do, after all she is the only one who knows that Raven and Octavia were best friends and that there was clearly some history between the two old best friends.
"I don't care!" Raven replies angrily.
"Lexa?" Luna tries to get Lexa involved in the conversation.
"Sorry! What is it?" Lexa replies putting away her phone.
"What do you think is Dana and Octavia a thing?" Luna boldly asks again and Raven huffs in annoyance.
"I don't know" Lexa says first than her eyes automatically looks at the direction of Raven, even though Raven never confessed anything to her she knows Octavia is a sensitive subject for her "I don't think so, Octavia made it clear that she is not ready for any girl girl action"
Luna nods "Well, she clearly is getting there by the way she was clinging to Dana"
Raven was done hearing her friends talking about Octavia she knocks her seat back as she leaves.
"Luna!" Lexa looks at her in a warning.
"What?" Luna feigned innocence.
"You really are a cunt Lu! You know Raven doesn't want to talk about Octavia" Alice reprimands her cousin.
"What?" Luna asks confused "How do you know?"
"She is my girlfriend, Lu. Of course I know" Alice replies and Lexa's eyes widened in both confusion and shock, Luna doesn't say anything and Alice takes the opportunity to explain "She is my girlfriend. The sex is amazing but she was honest with me since the beginning that she loves someone else" Alice confessed to her friends.
Luna was about to say something when her cousin interrupts her "I swear I'll kill you Lu if she ever learns that I talked to you about it" Alice index finger was close to Luna's nose threateningly.
"God!" Lexa replies astonished "And you're ok with that?"
Alice shrugs, "We're girlfriends Girl. Friends and consenting adults who have sex and company instead of lonely dinners and cold beds"
'Wow, I could never do it' Lexa admits to herself.
"All, I don't want you to be hurt in the process. It is obvious that Raven loves O" Luna blurs out.
"I know" Alice confesses and even if Luna and Lexa knew it, hearing it from Alice's mouth a loud confirmation surprised them.
Raven leaves her friends, having had enough hearing about Octavia and what might be her relationship with Dana, the tennis player. She storms out of the café and hops in her car but doesn't leave.
She takes her phone from her pocket and texts Octavia 'Can we talk?' she hits the send button before chickening out.
Not a minute later, her phone chimes in her hand.
Octavia: Of course! But you left!
Raven lifts her eyes from her phone and looks at the café with a smile, happy about Octavia's reply. She didn't refuse to talk to her she instantly replied positively.
She decides to go back into the café but then remembers her friends' discussion so she decides to text her back instead.
Rey: Can you come out, I'm in my car.
Raven doesn't wait long before seeing Octavia coming out of her café, she waves at her with a smile. Octavia opens the door of the passenger seat and gets in.
"Hey! What's wrong?" Octavia asks curiously looking at Raven.
"Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you and back in there our friends are a little bit annoying" Raven lets out a nervous chuckle.
"Annoying is a nice way to describe them" Octavia chuckles looking straight ahead while knowing that Raven's eyes are on her.
"I wanted to ask you" Raven says and Octavia somehow feels like she knows where it is going.
"Ask" Octavia blurs out without looking at Raven.
Raven nods and simply asks "Are you and Dana…together?" Octavia could hear Raven's wavering voice.
"Why? Why are you asking me that?" She asks back finally meeting Raven's eyes.
Raven's heart drop, it is too much at the same time. Octavia's eyes were not soft, they looked at her with anger at the same time it is obvious that they must be something otherwise Octavia would have simply replied by a No.
Raven stutters "I…I just don't want you to get hurt" She replies making no sense to herself nor to her friend.
"Why would I get hurt, Rey?" Octavia asks and Raven's heart tightens she missed hearing Octavia calling her Rey.
"I don't know" Raven replies honestly taking her eyes away from Octavia's "I guess, I can't help feeling protective when it comes to you and she is a tennis player and I don't trust her" Raven half-confesses omitting the fact that she was jealous of the tennis player.
"Dana is not…she is a good person Rey, and I've Bellamy to protect me I don't need your protection but your friendship back" Octavia's reply takes Raven aback.
Raven's eyes meet Octavia's again and a smile reaches them "I'd love that" Octavia could see tears welling in Raven's brown eyes.
"But how?" She is surprised by Raven's question that mirrored much her own thoughts.
"I don't know" She shrugs "Maybe we should talk" Octavia says then her tone is insisting "Peacefully" she smiles at Raven knowing that she got what she is referring to then continues "And hang out, just the two of us like we used to do"
"We should definitely hang out at Palm springs" Raven suggests.
"No!" Octavia replies "After the weekend would be better" She looks at Raven whose only reply is a nod.
"Settled then! We'll talk again after the weekend" Raven says looking away from Octavia's eyes trying to keep her tears inside.
"Thank you, Rey" Raven hears Octavia soft voice and she smiles but cannot help a tear rolling down her cheek, she quickly wipes it.
"Thank YOU" Raven replies simply before watching Octavia leaving her car and going back into her café.
"Luna, leave your cousin alone. She's old enough, she knows what she's doing" Lexa interrupts Luna's arguments with Alice.
"Thank you, Lexa" Alice nods thankfully at her friend while Luna looks away obviously angry that she was interrupted.
"Ok! I shut up but don't come crying to me when your heart is broken like everytime" Luna warns her cousin.
"Shut up, it was once and I was 18 and she was my first girlfriend" Alice replies.
"Oh my God! You guys are like babies, stop it" Lexa firmly says seeing that Luna was about to reply something else.
Both cousins keeps silent and Lexa is glad for it when her phone chimes on the table.
"Sorry!" Lexa excuses herself to take the phone call. Luna noticed her friends eyes lit at her phone and a smile crept on her lips.
However, when she is back Lexa's face droped she sits silently and throws her phone in her handbag.
"Is something wrong?" Luna asks her friend worried and Lexa gives her a fake smile "No, it is ok"
"Oh! Before I forget Lexa" Alice gets Lexa's attention "I talked to my boss about your career and he is willing to give you a shot" She grins looking at her.
Lexa's eyes widen "Really?" Alice nods.
"God, this is amazing." Lexa reacts then looks gratefully at her friend "Thank you Alice, it means a lot to me"
"It's nothing Lexa! You need to get your life back on tracks" Alice bluntly remarks.
"I know" Lexa replies sadly.
"Hey! It's a good thing" Alice reassures her friend "Getting back on track, fresh start"
Clarke finds Monty waiting for her at the entrance of her office, she smiles at him grateful to have someone who is neutral with her even though their relationship is strictly professional he grew in her esteem. She could feel his friendship at the way he cares as much as she does for her work out of respect and also because he got used to her, never does he question her choices and even when she feels like he tries to question it he does it so subtly.
Monty also is a very discreet young man, in Clarke's opinion the most professional employee of the CAC and the best assistant she has ever had. Much would have been a disaster for Clarke's career in the CAC if he didn't suggest and manage to handle complicated situation without her direct intervention.
"Good morning, Monty" Clarke says getting into her office without stopping knowing that Monty is going to follow her.
"Good morning" He replies before adding "I'm sorry for your loss"
"Thank you" Clarke simply replies while settling on her desk not looking at Monty who was briefing her. When he was done he put her schedule on her desk and left.
She checks it then sees that there was Niylah's name at lunch time again she freezes not knowing how to feel about it. Sure, Niylah did it on purpose so that Clarke would go and have lunch with her again which felt more like a date. Clarke lets out a deep breath she didn't know she was holding, this woman is playing games that Clarke cannot take part as much as good it felt, it was wrong.
She takes her phone from her bag and checks Niylah's texts that she never replied to because not only it was wrong and what could have she said? She looks at it then dials Lexa's number. However, Lexa doesn't reply and Clarke decides to leave her a text instead.
Clarke dived right into her work she was happy when she was doing it. It helped her forget about things that bothered her like for instance her she is failing her marriage to Lexa.
When Clarke is snapped out of her work she notices that it is almost lunch time and she didn't ask Monty to cancel or push the meeting for the afternoon without thinking she rushes to Monty's little office next to hers and opens the door.
What her eyes meet is nothing she would have seen coming, or expected at all. Monty was pinned against the wall by no one else than Jasper.
"Jasper!" Clarke lets out aggravated after seeing that they didn't notice her presence.
"Fuck" Jasper looks back at the intruder without moving away from him.
"Sorry" Clarke could hear Monty's shy voice then she sees him pushing Jasper away so he can free himself.
Jasper straightens his clothes and walks towards the door trying to leave as nothing happened but Clarke stops him "Jasper" Her tone is the one she uses when she wants to be obeyed.
"Clarke?" Jasper replies in a questioning look and it only aggravated Clarke further.
"You're gay?" She asks curiously.
"Bi" He corrects before pushing the door open and leaves.
"I apologize, Clarke. It won't happen again" Monty finally speaks.
"God! I…never saw it coming. You and Monty? He is straight!" Clarke exclaims.
"Bi" Monty corrects her shyly not meeting her eyes.
"Since when?" Clarke deadpans and Monty's cheeks turn crimson red.
"Oh!" Clarke realizes "Guys! Keep it in your pants next time, not in here" Clarke warns him and he nods.
"Well…I came to ask you about my schedule" Clarke tries hardly to not look at Monty straight into his eyes knowing that it is only making things weird and difficult for him to talk to her.
"Aha!" He replies waiting for her to ask and leave. He has been caught making out with a colleague by his boss and he never had to experience something like that.
"Did Niylah ask you to schedule our meeting on Lunch time?" She asks trying to not let it show in her voice that she was intrigued.
"Yes" He quickly replies and Clarke nods "Please tell her that our meeting today is delayed. I have some urgent things to deal with instead" She says then adds "Personal matters" Monty nods understandingly and simply replies "I'll let her know that you won't be available"
Clarke thanks him and before she closes the door she looks at him again "I hope it won't happen again, Monty. I'd hate to lose you" She says and leaves not giving him the chance to reply.
That day, Clarke managed to avoid Niylah and much to her surprised the woman didn't barge into her office so she did her best to finish her work early to head back home and talk to her wife about the morning's event.
Of course it doesn't surprise her when she finds that Lexa is not alone but with almost every one of their friends, well the ones that are going to the Dinah shore weekend. And it doesn't surprise her that Lexa is again astonished to see her coming back home early.
She greets everyone politely then goes into her bedroom undresses and goes into the shower. When she gets out she puts sweatpants and a loose T-shirt and joins her friends who all get silent the second she steps in her living-room.
"Hey" She smiles at her wife pecking her lips then adds "How was your day?"
"Fine" Lexa shrugs.
Clarke's smile falls, again Lexa is not only cold with her but she is not communicating with her and worse she is doing it again in front of their friends which is getting on Clarke's nerves even if she does her best not to show it knowing that Lexa is not in her right state of mind after their loss. 'She needs time to heal' She excuses her wife's behavior.
So instead of showing all the worries that are toying with her emotions and thoughts in her mind she smiles at her and asks Lexa again "What did you do the whole day?"
Lexa raises a brow at her and replies "Nothing! Nothing…this is all me. I do nothing"
Clarke's jaw drops at Lexa's reply, both Raven and Alice looks at Clarke while Luna and Octavia along with Dana and Tim leaves the living-room and go outside to the swimming pool giving the couple their privacy.
Alice cuts in trying to dissipate the awkward atmosphere and weird silence that was about to settle or worse a fight between the married couple "We've been planning our trip"
Despite knowing her friend's intention is to ease the tension, Clarke looks at Alice annoyed at her constant interruptions and then at Lexa with a hint of anger iin her eyes.
"So you're going!" Clarke ignores Alice and Raven and lets out angrily.
"Yeah" Lexa shrugs her shoulders and Clarke's eyes widen "Are you hearing yourself?"
"I don't get it!" Lexa frowns.
"When were you planning to tell me about this fucking weekend trip, Lexa?" Clarke snaps at her.
"Now" Lexa simply replies unfazed by Clarke's anger.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Clarke replies.
"What difference does it make if I'm here or not? You're never home" Lexa replies.
"What? You really wanna do this in front of our friends?" Clarke asks furious.
"Raven, let's go" Alice stands up tugging at Raven's shirt. Raven complies and walks toward the door then stops at Clarke's loud remark "Fucking unbelievable".
Raven looks back at her friends and goes back into the living-room "Clarke!" She says in a warning tone.
Clarke looks at her with a frown and replies harshly "What Raven? Don't you fucking see that I'm in the middle of something?"
"Watch out your tone, Clarke!" Raven warns her friend again and Alice tries to keep her from going back inside the living-room where Clarke is standing right now and Lexa is sitting on the couch.
"You don't have to deal with this Lexa, come home with me" Raven says looking at Lexa.
"Raven" Lexa blinks taken aback by her friend's concern.
"Are you fucking together?" Clarke's voice is loud, loud enough for her other friends by the swimming-pool to hear.
Both Lexa and Alice frown at Clarke's words "What?" Raven spits out "You really are a hypocrite, Clarke"
"I am a hypocrite? Look at your girlfriend's face" Clarke points at Alice "She clearly is suspecting…" Lexa looks at Alice and so does Raven.
"Clarke!" Lexa silences Clarke angrily.
"You fucking…" Raven rushes to the living-room towards Clarke and Lexa is quick enough to stand up between them "Raven!"
Raven stops and looks angrily at Clarke then says "We are not fucking together, Clarke. I'm just defending her because unlike you I'm not an insensitive cunt who prefers to spend her time at her work then to care about Lexa"
Clarke looks angrily at her then she hears Lexa saying "Enough, Raven. Leave, I'll be fine"
Raven stares at Lexa's eyes for a moment then says "Call me if you need anything" Lexa nods and watches Raven leaving then all their friends follow her.
Once the door is closed and she is left with Clarke, she looks intently at her trying to figure out what in the world made Clarke think that her and Raven are fucking together. The words hurt Lexa because out of everyone Clarke should be the last one to doubt her faithfulness. She knows her well, she should know her well.