Mind Game

7

Aaron had slammed the phone down but he could still here the voice, the words, they kept repeating over and over in his head... 'Hi, Chris here'

He backed away from the phone from the source of his fear on now trembling legs. He was starting to feel ill, his head was spinning, his heart thundered painfully in his chest and he was struggling to breathe. Aaron felt sure he was going to pass out and stumbled towards the door, crashing into his uncle who was now making his way inside.

"He's not dead..."

"Aaron?" Cain was instantly concerned on setting eyes on his nephew, he was flushed, sweating profusely and more worryingly he seemed confused. Wrapping a steadying arm around him he steered Aaron over to the chair, "C'mon sit down."

"No. "Aaron struggled weakly against his uncle. " No! I've got to get away from him."

Cain took a quick look around the room, there was no one else there! "Aaron..."

"I need... I need to get out of here Cain... " Aaron gasped for air, "Please get me out of here."

Cain hauled Aaron outside, easing him down onto the ground, leaning him against the garage for support. Then catching sight of Paddy he shouted over at him for help.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Paddy was alarmed by Aaron's apparent collapse, he'd been fine ten minutes since, but in the time he'd walked Clyde to the corner and back this had happened.

"I can't... I can't breath"

After a quick assessment Paddy realised what was happening, "It's a panic attack. You had one before remember?" Aaron was just out of hospital following his suicide attempt, Paddy had left him talking to his mum and the next thing he knew Chas was shouting for him. It seemed to have had a worse effect on Aaron this time though, "Aaron listen to me, you're going to be fine you just need to concentrate on your breathing. You need to slow it down. Close your eyes and slowly breathe in through your nose and then breathe out through your mouth..."

It took a good few minutes before Paddy felt able to stop coaxing Aaron, before his breathing could be considered normal. The fact he was still shaking and seemed dazed worried Cain, eyeing Paddy he asked, "Does he need to see a doctor?"

"No. It'll pass." Paddy said confidently although he was sure Aaron would soon need to speak to someone in regards to what he was experiencing.

/

Jackson had decided to take the whole afternoon off, that was one good thing about being your own boss, you could skive off when ever you wanted. Although technically he wasn't skiving, his current job had just hit an unavoidable hold-up and until the electrician had done his work Jackson couldn't get on with his. So he'd packed up early and made his way back to Emmerdale, heading straight to the garage.

Aaron's car was missing from the forecourt but Jackson hadn't thought anything of it, certain he was on some errand. On seeing his van Cain had stepped over to speak to him.

"Alright?"

"Yeah..."

That was enough of the niceties, there was something Jackson needed to know,"Aaron's at Paddy's, he had a funny turn earlier, Paddy called it a panic attack..."

"Panic attack!" Jackson exclaimed, struggling to take in what he'd just been told.

"He's ok now, Paddy just phoned, he's having something to eat then he's coming back to work. Don't worry, I'll be keeping an eye on him."

"What happened?" Jackson needed to make some sense of Cain's news.

"I came in to get some paperwork and found him in a right state, he couldn't breathe, he could barely stand.

"I'd better go see him." He had to see for himself that Aaron was ok.

"Jackson wait a minute. Paddy told me about him seeing Davies, I think he 'saw' him again today."

"What makes you say that?" A wave of unease washed over Jackson, that was the last thing he wanted to hear.

"He was spooked, he said something about someone not being dead, and he was trying to get away from whoever that was."

Jackson nodded his understanding, "Paddy thinks he'd started having flashbacks to what happened with Davies."

"I think he could be right."

/

Paddy knew panic attacks had a lingering effect, that whoever experienced one could be left feeling out of sorts for hours even days after. That was why he'd insisted Aaron come back to the Smithy with him.

Aaron always left the keys to his car in the ignition so he'd steered Aaron into the passenger seat, bundled Clyde in the back and then driven up to his. He'd been met with no protest which was worrying in itself, Aaron normally hated a fuss being made of him.

Paddy had settled Aaron on the sofa, a glass of water and the TV remote close at hand, and he had popped in and out between clients to check on him. He seemed a little better each time until finally Paddy had found the sofa empty and Aaron in the kitchen sipping on a cup of tea.

"How you feeling?"

"Fine, I'm going to go back to work..."

"Not until you've had something to eat you're not. Now sit!" Getting some food into Aaron was an excuse what Paddy really wanted to do was get him talking.

As Aaron chewed on the last of his sandwich Paddy said "So what really happened at work..."

"I told you, I just felt faint, I hadn't eaten, it was hot in there and..."

"That shouldn't have brought on a panic attack." He was no expert on such things but he did know there was something else troubling Aaron at the moment and he was sure that was the real cause.

"It wasn't a panic attack!" Aaron was determined to play all of it down, they already thought he was losing his marbles he didn't want to give them any more reason to think so.

"Of course it was! Now you listen to me..." Paddy was all set to take the bull by the horns only for the front door to open and in walk a diversion, one Aaron was quick to use.

"I told you not to call Jackson!"

"I didn't" Paddy protested although he had planned on doing so the minute Aaron had left for work.

"I finished early, "Jackson explained as he cast a worried eye over his boyfriend, he looked ok, his usual self infact. "I stopped by the garage and Cain told ..."

"Before you ask I'm fine, I didn't have any breakfast and felt a bit faint that's all."

Before Jackson had chance to reply Aaron was on his feet and planting a kiss on his lips.

"I'll see you later, ok?" Aaron headed for the door, he'd be outnumbered if he stayed, and would be interrogated until he talked, at least that's how it would seem to him. The way he was feeling now he knew he'd end up losing his rag and saying something he would regret, he had to get out of there and fast.

"Yeah. " Jackson had to fight the urge to go after Aaron and demand he tell him the truth, he knew it wouldn't do any good.

"That's not what happened!" Paddy stated

"I know." Jackson said as he sat down beside Paddy, "Cain told me. Has he mentioned seeing Chris again to you?

"No, but from what Cain said I think he must have done, he just wont admit to it."

"That's because he thinks we won't take him seriously. He thinks he's got to deal with whatever's happening on his own, we have to put a stop to that Paddy!"

/

Aaron got in his car, started the engine but found that was as far as he could go with the process of driving to work, he needed a few minutes to get himself together, to get his troubled thoughts in order. All these hours after the phone call he was still struggling to get a grip on things.

Was he going mad? Not only had he seen Chris, he'd heard his voice too! And it was Chris' voice he'd heard, there was no mistaking it. Aaron had always thought Chris' voice had somehow mirrored his size, it was deep and it just oozed with confidence. It had definitely been Chris on the other end of the phone but how was that possible? Seeing him had been bad enough, he'd almost blacked out, but on hearing his voice he'd thought his heart was about to stop beating at any minute! It had scared the crap out of him. He'd wanted Jackson but at the same time he didn't want him to see him like that. Paddy had helped him through it, Cain too. Then when he'd started to feel better, when he began insisting he was alright, they'd started questioning him on what had happened. He'd lied to them, said the first thing that had come into his addled head. He had just told Jackson the exact same lie. As ridiculous an explanation as it was he was expecting him to believe it. He hoped that would be the end of it, that Jackson would let it drop. Aaron knew he couldn't keep fobbing him off, that he wouldn't be able to, that at some point he would crack and tell Jackson what he'd heard. He really would think he was insane then wouldn't he?

So what now? What should he do now? Aaron stared out through the car window his gaze settling on the cemetery gate, he could just about see it from where he was sitting. Suddenly he knew what he had to do.

/

Aaron knew where the cemetery was in Robblesfield, it was on the outskirts of town. He'd past it four times in the last two days. Not once had he thought about Chris being there. Maybe if he saw his grave, his headstone, maybe then all this would stop?

Aaron had no idea where Chris was buried, he just knew the most recent graves were nearest to the gate, He was going to have to walk around them until he found what he was looking for.

It wasn't long before his gaze fell on a familiar name...

Christopher John Davies

Aaron had forgotten that Chris had a middle name, but on seeing it there in bold lettering he remembered Chris saying that John had been his father's name.

Aaron read down the inscription...

Dearly loved Son, Brother and Uncle

That was something else he'd forgotten, that Chris had a brother, he'd said very little about him, he hadn't even mentioned his name, all Aaron knew was that he was younger than Chris and that he'd emigrated to Australia years ago. He'd got the feeling they weren't at all close, he supposed distance hadn't helped that, As for Chris being an uncle, Aaron didn't know anything about that.

Chris' date of birth and the date of his death came next and finally at the very bottom of the ornate black marble stone came the words ...

At Peace

Aaron stared hard at the sentiment, it seemed the perfect choice. Whoever had chosen those words had to have known the real Chris. Behind the charm and wit had been a violent control freak, he was quick to anger and his jealous rages had seen him physically hurt even hospitalise the people he supposedly cared about. Aaron had wondered how he lived with himself, how he could look anyone in the eye and lie so easily about what he'd done, Chris didn't seem to have had a conscience. But maybe his actions did haunt him, maybe in quiet times he regretted what he'd done? Maybe there was someone out there who knew that, and who now believed Chris was free of that burden.

Aaron shivered as a cold blast of wind wrapped itself around him, it stirred him from his thoughts, He shivered again, only this time it wasn't because he was cold, he'd suddenly had the feeling he was being watched, just like yesterday when he was at Chris' house. He looked around but all he could see were row upon row of stone memorials and trees. He suddenly felt he was intruding, that he had no right being there... and he didn't did he? He'd hated Chris, and he wasn't here to pay his respects, he'd come in the hopes of convincing himself that Chris really was dead. Telling himself he was wrong to come, that he needed to leave, he turned on his heels and headed in the direction of his car.

The parking area had been empty when he'd arrived but it wasn't now, he could see a car next to his, a black car... a Boxster! He froze on realizing what it was, the now familiar sense of fear wrapping itself around him just like the wind had done earlier. He stood looking at the car unable to move unable to think past what he was seeing, until the Boxster suddenly started to move, in the same instance his phone began to ring. It broke the spell and he reached into his pocket, with trembling fingers he set it to camera mode. He aimed the camera in the Boxster's direction but it was already slipping out through the gates, even as he pressed on the key Aaron knew he'd been too late, that the Boxster was hidden by trees.

"No!" Aaron's fear had instantly turned to frustration, he'd had proof within his grasp but he'd been too slow to react... and he was again. Breaking into a run he made for his car, he'd follow the Boxster...

TBC