What if You by Joshua Radin

Lily woke up to the sound of screaming coming from James' room. She jumped out of bed after grabbing her wand and rushed into his room. James was thrashing in his bed as if he were fighting some unseen foe. Lily shook him awake but watched out for his flailing arms to make sure he did not attack her.

"James wake up it was just a bad dream." Lily said as he was coming to. He heard her and stopped fighting. His eyes were full of fear. He took in that he had been dreaming as his chest heaved rapidly.

"I was too late, "He said once he had caught his breath. He pushed himself up into sitting position and looked around the room, "Death Eaters attacked your house and we didn't make it in time." He looked up at her then crushed her in a hug, "You were dead." he muttered to himself but she still heard him. She rubbed his back awkwardly and tried to comfort him.

"It was just a dream. Nothing more than a dream." She whispered.

"It felt real as real as you feel right now. How do I know this isn't a dream?" He pleaded with her as he released her.

"If this was a dream I have the feeling we wouldn't be just talking." She smiled at him in the darkness trying to lighten the mood. "At least if it was your dream that is." She got up off the bed and opened the drapes letting the moonlight into the room. She stayed by the window looking up at the moon.

"It could start out with talking." James played along letting his suggestion say more than he did. Then he asked seriously, "Would you mind staying here a little while? You don't have to stay here if I fall back to sleep..." Lily turned back towards him.

"Sure just for tonight I will lay here with you," She paused for a moment dramatically then said, "if you move over" She pushed him making him chuckle with her answer. He obliged her by making room for her on the bed. She laid down next to him and got comfortable. "So how are your classes going?" Lily asked breaking the silence after a moment.

"You should know since you are beating me in all of them." James laughed as Lily groaned.

"I figured that would a safe topic." Lily muttered. James propped himself on one elbow.

"Are there any safe topics for us?" He challenged wagging his eyebrows at her.

"Maybe not but I can at least try sometimes unlike you. At any rate I made you laugh several times already." Lily pointed out.

"True," James admitted as he rolled back flat on the bed. "Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"You just asked me a question," Lily joked then grimaced, "That sounded like something Sirius would say. Okay I will be sincere now. Ask your question."

"Would you miss me if I was gone?" James asked staring at the ceiling.

"Well, that is a rather sober line of thought at least in connection to your dream." She turned to watch him, "I am guessing you would miss me so you are wondering if I would." James nodded. "Truthfully no matter what the circumstance for you not being around anymore I believe I would notice you were not there. Though I think I would have been able to say the same thing last year." Lily smirked at that thought. "However for very different reasons." She said quickly when it dawned on her how that could be hurtful.

"Yes, well I will admit I haven't always been the most charming person to be around at times." James drawled. "So are you looking forward to going home tomorrow?"

"Of course I am. Christmas is my favorite time of year." Lily smiled at the memories of Christmas past.

"Would you mind if I came to see you? Maybe I could take you home." James offered.

"Why would you want to take me to your home?" Lily asked curiously. He hadn't pursued her for some time now so she had assumed that he was doing that he had mentioned once and was in the process of getting over her.

"Just in case something ever happens you can have a place to run to for help." James explained hopefully.

"James it was just a dream." Lily replied making him sigh.

"Just the same I would feel better if you would let me. I could come to your house sometime during the holiday." James said tiredly.

"Alright but you have to be on your best behavior. My sister is against all things magical." Lily rolled off the bed. "I am going back to my bed now. See you on the train tomorrow morning." Lily called back as she left his room.

The next day on the train...

James, Remus, Peter and Sirius were comparing plans for the holiday when Lily came to their compartment.

"I changed my mind, Potter," Lily announced as she sat down on the bench across from him. "You can take me to see your house today rather than popping by whenever you feel like it." Sirius gave her a disapproving frown.

"Lily, how hard is it to call him by his first name?" Sirius tutted. James smiled and shook his head at Sirius.

"It is okay Sirius. Lily is just worries that her true feelings would become obvious if she used my first name." James teased grinning. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Only in your imagination James." Lily quipped avoiding the use of dreams. "So does today work for you or not? My parents are fine with not picking me up if I am going with a friend." Lily said trying to get James back on topic. Besides not wanting James to randomly show up at her home, she had the feeling that he would feel better once she knew where his house was.

"Did you hear that? They're friends!" Peter teased making Lily roll her eyes again. "One of these days your eyes are going to get stuck up there." Peter warned.

"Today works," James interrupted before Lily decided to hex Peter. "You can come home with me and Sirius."

"Well, now that is settled I will go back..." Lily said standing up.

"You should stay Lily," Remus spoke up. Lily made a face at him but he wouldn't drop it. "Come on, it wouldn't kill you to spend some time with us outside of Order stuff." Lily looked thoughtful for a moment.

"You never know, it just might kill me." She smiled but still sat back down. "So now what?" She asked. Peter pulled out his set of gobstones and they passed the time playing games for the rest of the ride.