A/N: I wanted to reply to the few reviewers I didn't have a Reply URL for. So, Sam, aka luckme123: Thank you so much! I think Tawni's a lot of fun. J: It will! I swear! Trust me! :D
Also, remember that time I said I came back from a hiatus? And then I didn't update for another...month? Yeah. Man, I suck, don't I? This semester's been really busy for me so far, especially since I was pledging a sorority (which is totally awesome, blatant Greek publicity there). Anyway. I'm back again. Thank you so much for being patient with me (:
Disclaimer: Do I own Sonny with a Chance? Why yes. Yes I do. I also own Jupiter. And the invention of bread.

Phase Six: If I Have to Lock Them in a Closet, I Will (Slam the Door)

You know what's really frustrating? When your brilliant plan is being thwarted by the people you're trying to help, aka the subjects of said brilliant plan.

Look, guys, I can't do all of this foryou. You gotta work with me a little.

So, Phase Six is the most drastic phase yet: I have to lock them in a closet together.

"Hey Sonny, wanna go grab some lunch?" I ask, shooting her a look over my shoulder as I re-gloss my lips.

"Whatever," Sonny mutters, and runs her fingers through her hair aimlessly.

(She's been in a bad mood ever since the Rain Incident. Which was, like, forever ago.)

"Okay, you really have to perk up," I say, jumping up and walking over to where she's slumped at her vanity. "C'mon, stand up!"

She slowly spins around to look at me, and she's all glare-y. "I'm mad at you too, Tawni," she reminds me.

"Tell me something I don't know," I respond, rolling my eyes. "I told you I have no idea why Zora pushed Chad outside and locked the door."

"You were there," Sonny says darkly, crossing her arms. "I really don't know what you're trying to do, but it's not appreciated."

Is she serious? She really doesn't know what I'm trying to do?

Man, I am sneaky. And pretty!!

"So how's Chad?" I ask. (Why not?)

She sighs through her nose. "Oh, I dunno, the usual? I hate him."

I pat her on the head. "You just keep on believing that."

She yanks away from me and flattens her hair with her fingers (please. Like she needs any less volume in that mop.), glaring little Sonny-daggers at me. "I don't like him," she insists.

"Sure," I smile patronizingly. "Now c'mon, let's go eat something." I skip out the door and Sonny follows me, dragging her feet.

I'm sorry, but she is pathetic.

We walk down the hallway, but where we'd normally turn left to head to the cafeteria, I hang a right down towards Mackenzie Falls. "Tawni, where are you going?" Sonny asks me, like I'm stupid. "Cafeteria's that way."

She goes to turn left and not follow me, but I grab her arm and pull her along. "I wanna take the long way," I tell her, and since it's obvious I'm not letting go of her arm unless she goes with me, Sonny sighs and comes along.

Soon I see what I'm looking for: a nice little broom closet. As subtly as I can, I head over towards it, open it, and peek inside, like I'm curious. "Omigod!" I screech.

Sonny jumps at my outburst. "Tawni, what the heck?"

I pretend to hyperventilate. "Just look!"

Cautiously, Sonny inches over and peers inside the closet. And it's a perfect shot! I shove her in and slam the door, locking it! Success!

"Tawni!!" Sonny yells, banging her fists against the wooden door. "What are you doing??"

"Ohmygosh, I'm so sorry!" I reply, and wiggle the handle a little. "It's locked and I can't get it unlocked! Just be patient! I'll go get help!"

I hear her mutter a lot under her breath, and I'd be willing to bet she isn't lauding my praises.

But whatever, I'm Tawni Hart and I am a genius. So I trot over to Mackenzie Falls. "Chad!" I call when I see him, like usual, admiring himself in the mirror.

He rolls his eyes and looks exasperated. "What, Tawni?"

"Okay, whatever," I say, like I'm annoyed. "If you don't wanna help Sonny out, I don't care." And I turn to walk away.

Unsurprisingly, Chad stops me. "Whoa, wait, what? Sonny's in trouble?"

I slowly turn back around to face him. "Thought you didn't care," I singsong.

He flushes (ha!). "I don't. But if she's in trouble, who am I gonna pick on?"

I laugh. "Right, that's it. Come on." I walk back out into the hallway, Chad at my heels.

"She's stuck in there," I say, pointing to the closet, "and I can't get the door unlocked."

Chad walks up to the door, jiggles the handle, and Sonny yells, "Get me out of here, Tawni!"

"I brought help!" I reply.

"Get yourself locked in a closet, Munroe?" Chad asks in amusement, then twists the lock and turns the knob. He turns to me, looking confused. "Tawni, it's not stuck. It came open like—" He opens the door, and before either of them can do anything I shove him in too and slam the door shut, locking it again.

"TAWNI!!" yell Sonny and Chad in unison, furious.

"Oops!" I say innocently. "Guess you're stuck in there till you kiss and make up!"

"WHAT?" they yelp.

"You heard me!" I singsong. "Have fun!"

So I walk away, and clack my heels a little more than usual, because I want them to know I've left them alone. Except that I totally can't actually leave them alone, because I have to know how this goes. So I clack down the hallway, and then quietly sneak back to listen in at the door.

Okay, so maybe eavesdropping on a love connection might possibly seem a little bit nosy, but, uhm, duh.

So on the plus side, the closet door is pretty flimsy, so listening in is totally easy.

On the other hand, the closet door is pretty flimsy, so I have to be super quiet or they might hear me.

And we cannot have that.

So I'm, like, ninja sneaky when I listen. Meanwhile, Sunny's making an annoyed huffing noise. "She never lets up," she hisses angrily.

Chad whacks what I assume is his head against the door and I have to jump away. "The only thing I like less than being locked in a closet is being locked in a closet with a Random."

I hear a dull thump and then an "Ow!" from Chad. So I'm thinking Sonny punched him, probably in the arm.

"Can you stop being all self-righteous for, like, five seconds?" Sonny asks tightly. "I have to get out of here."

Chad scoffs. "You have to get out of here? I have to get out of here. It's hot and my hair's going to get funny."

Then I hear another weird noise from Chad, this one more of a strangled "Ack!"

"Show you to complain one more second about your stupid hair," Sunny says with an edge of triumph. I have no idea what just happened.

"Sonny." Chad sounds deadly serious. "Do not touch the CDC hair."

Sonny laughs. "Really, Chad? Really? Tawni locked us together in a closet and you're worried about your hair?"

Chad huffs out his nose. "My hair is important. You should take notes."

"You said you think my hair's pretty!" Sonny objects, and she totally sounds offended. Which is fabulous, because if she didn't care about Chad, she wouldn't care about Chad's comment. Am I brilliant or am I brilliant? (Hint: I'm brilliant.)

"Sure, but it's no match for my hair."

"God, Chad, you are the most obnoxious, egotistical pain in the—"

"Whoa-ho, language," Chad tsks her, and I can hear the smirk in his voice. "Don't say anything you might regret, Munroe."

"The only thing I regret is being gullible enough to let Tawni lock me in here with a thing like you." If I know Sonny, she's totally crossing her arms defiantly and giving Chad the I'd-be-scary-if-I-wasn't-so-perky-all-the-time face. Not that he can see it; it's a hundred percent dark in there.

"You know what I think?" Chad says thoughtfully, and I imagine him tapping his chin with his forefinger. "I think you're in love with me and—"

I hear a dull slap, so I think Sonny whapped her hand over his mouth. "I'm not talking to you," she informs him. "So shut up."

He actually does shut up. It's completely cute that he's listening to her, but it's quiet for way too long, and I hate to say it, but I get bored. I check my phone and it's time to go brush my hair anyway.

Phase Six: These lovebirds are annoying. I'll check on them again later.

A/N 2: Almost, guys. Almost. Trust the Tawni. Review, please? The sooner you review, the quicker Sonny and Chad get out of the closet :D