10 Steps To Seducing Your Hot Virgin Vampire BF Chapter 7: Bella Let's the Girls Breathe, a twilight fanfic

Chapter 7: Bella Let's the Girls Breathe

note: "Chonies" is slang for underwear in Spanish

"Boys Don't Cry" was a movie about a girl who passed for a boy and wrapped her breasts up in tight gauze so she appeared flat chested.

note 2: This chapter isn't as funny cause it's more about Bella getting prepped for her seduction of Edward and we don't have any Cullen brothers for comedic relief. The next two chapters will have more laughs though, cause you know Edward is going to be a hot mess with hot sex Bella!

note 3: thanks for all of those who tried to help me with my computer, clickable link lameness! I'm so lame I'm still trying to figure it out!

Thanks for all the reviews and feedback-you ladies are so fun to write for!

BPOV

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN, STRIP DOWN TO YOUR CHONIES THIS INSTANT!"

"Shhhh! Alice-the people over at the foodcourt probably heard that!" It was so embarrassing-I was standing in a Victoria's Secret dressing room stall with Alice and Rosalie sitting in front of me, insisting I strip down to my underwear to see "what I had to work with" before they started hunting down figure-appropriate nighties and bra/panty sets. Alice was most passionate about me gettting a proper nightwear wardrobe, since Edward and I sleep together every night-she couldn't believe I hadn't thought about this on my own beforehand.

"Fine..." I mumbled bitterly the whole time I took off my jeans and t-shirt and shoes. And it didn't help that I heard muffled laughs once I was done.

"Bella, you are wearing a jog bra-YOU DON'T JOG!" Alice looked at me in shock.

"What? It provides good support."

"Yeah it does provide support-if you were auditioning for a lead role in "Boys Don't Cry!"

Now it was Rosalie's turn to take a whack at me. "And now I get why Edward loves playing Grandpa with you-he's feeding off the Grandma energy of your hi-cut cotton briefs!"

I swear you guys...I'm this close to walking out of this dumb store..."

"Okay, okay...we are done joking, "said Alice." But lift up the jog bra for a quick second so I can see what cup size you are-your breasts are completely smashed against your chest cavity." I took it off quickly but cupped my breasts in my hands.

"Satisfied Alice, you peeping Tom?"

Alice's mouth dropped and she hit Rosalie's shoulder. "Bella grew breastesses! My Lord, you are easily a full B if not a small C! They are going look HUGE in a push bra! And look at your tiny waist and long legs...Bella, you have a hot bod when you aren't wearing soccer mom jeans and Charlie sweatshirts!" She dragged Rose out with her and called out, "be back in a minute!"

Before I knew it Alice and Rose were back with mounds of bra/undie sets, babydolls, and sexy cotton nightwear. "I want seven of each type, so let's get to work on these." While Alice got me in and out of the different garments, Rose was "quizzing" me on some stupid Top 10 flirty moves list they made me memorize while I was simultaneously learning how to work a pole on Saturday night.

"What should you do with your lips while talking?"

"Lick them slowly or bite them--or put something in my mouth to suck on like my finger tip or a lollipop." LAME. I swear these vampires are getting their ideas from some 1987 Cosmopolitan magazine they found in Carlisle's ER room at the hospital.

"What's the best way to draw attention to your breastesses?"

"Either play with a necklace suggestively or lightly brush my hand across my collarbone."

The interrogating continued while I fought with Alice about underwear cuts. She wanted a straight thong, I wanted bikini cut, and we settled on a T-back. Rosalie fought with me about bras-I was happy with all demi-bras, but she insisted on several ultra-low cut bras. When I asked why, she looked at me like it should be obvious. "Hello, accidental nip slips during your platontic Amish style bed sharing nights with Edward...we all know he has a thing for your areolas..."

In no time flat, we had picked out a whole new undergarment wardrobe--and keeping with the ingenue(innocent, but not as innocent as you look) theme, that wardrobe was heavy on white, pink, eyelet, soft cotton, and lace. "These are all so you Bella- a mix of innocence and nasty girl."I was standing around in one of the baby dolls when Rosa looked me over and said, "Honestly,Edward is going to freak out when he sees Bella like this-like in an uptight way, promise or no promise to you Alice."

Alice countered, "Bella has already been instructed on how to proceed. But maybe Bella needs some role playing to best visualize it." I swear these two are getting as much out of this for themselves as I am. Fustrated life coaches.

"Okay, Rosalie? Be Edward and I'll be Bella." Alice sashayed up to Rose holding a babydoll to her chest. "HI honey, do you like what you see?"

Rose feigned horror and spat out, "My word Bella! You are so absurd! Your areolas will catch a cold in that flimsy hussy contraption. You march right back to your room young lady and get back into your mom jeans this instant!" I shot Rose a dirty look-my jeans aren't THAT high waisted.

Alice shot Rose a classic doe eyed, pouty look and responded, "Do...do ...you think I look fat? Ugly? Or...both?"

She hung her head low while Rosalie rushed to her side and embraced her from behind. "Oh, my dearest loveliest Bella, no you are absolutely beauti-...Doh! I just pitched a tent in my pants!" We all started laughing.

Alice wasn't finished though, "Okay lesson 2, Bella. Alice sat Rosalie down and pretended to dance suggestively in front of her."Do you like the new moves I learned at aerobics class Edward?" Rosalie started in: "Bella, these pelvic gyrations are absurd! Only hussies shake their naughty parts in the faces of their gentlemen callers! Stop being sexy and start tripping over your feet again this instant!" Okay, I had to admit that was sorta funny.

Alice's face fell and she pouted, "You think I"m ugly AND can't dance." Rosalie scooped little Alice back onto her lap and embraced her. "Oh dearest, loveliest burning meteor Bella, you are a wonderful dancer. Oh Bella...oh...oh...ohhhhhh!" With that Rosalie tackled Alice on the ground, and then looked at me. "Dirty Eddie has come out to play and my thirst is not quenched!" Rosalie pretend to jolt towards me. As I jumped back, I accidentally pushed the changing room door opened and tripped out.

And there, staring at me with saucer eyes zeroing in on my chest, was Mike Newton.

"Mike!" I screamed trying to cover up my top half as the material was somewhat see through. (The baby doll is in my profile)

"Wow, Bella. Wow...Oh My Lord..." Mike just kept staring at me all stunned while slowly walking backgrounds. He finally looked away and began apologizing."I'm sorry Bella, I was just inside Footlocker across the way when I heard someone yelling your name really loudly in here. I was just going to come in and say hello to you, honest..." I stared back at Alice and mouthed a thanks her way. I shut the door quickly.

"Mike, that's okay.Don't worry about it. Um, I'm going to change now but I'll see you in English tomorrow. Uh, Bye."

Mike called back, "Yeah, bye Bella. I'm sorry I came upon you like that...well, not really sorry, but sorry in a way, if you know what I mean..." His voice trailed off. I peered through the slits in the door to see where he was. He was banging his head against a wall mouthing, "Stupid!" over and over again.

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APOV

The rest of the afternoon flew by in a hurry. We bought some basic pieces at the mall--pencil skirts, ultra-slim fitting capris, heels and espadrilles, hoop earrings, etc. But then we spent the remainder of the time hunting various retro stores to find pieces that would make Bella's Bardot pinup girl look complete. It was a lot of work, but worth the effort-I couldn't believe some of the pieces we scored-wiggle dresses, peasant tops, wider than wide cinching belts, gingham halters and shorts. Bella was really coming into her own too-she kept picking great tops that highlighted her decolletage area,since Edward was always compulsively touching her collarbone, shoulder, and upper chest area. She was quickly figuring out how to highlight her best assets.

With the Jeremy bet on the line still, Bella changed into one of her new outfits for our drive back to La Costa. She was looking fierce even in just casual jeans, a bandeau twisted halter top, and espadrilles. And even though we had to work a little more on her walk tonight, she had made it through almost a whole hour in wedge heels without falling once.

"Okay, Bella, here are the rules," Rosalie said as we were walking towards the lobby. "In order to technically turn Jeremy Bell Boy Dingleberry into putty, you have to incorporate at least 4 moves from our 10 point flirt list."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Those rules are so lame you guys. But whatever, let's get this over with. Hand me my Victoria's Secret bag with the babydolls. I want to get back to the room and text Edward." Rose handed it to her, and she was off to the concierge desk. We scurried behind her, wanting to be able to listen in.

BPOV

I wanted to get this over with, so I knew the key to making a quick charity check was to bring my VS bag with me. I patiently waited for Jeremy as he was finishing up with a guest. He spotted me as I walked up though and raised his eyebrows quickly in acknowledged. I raised my eyebrows back and added a wink. That's two stupid moves knocked off right there.

APOV

"Wow, Rose, she just did a double header move--a winking-double eyebrow lift combination! She's half way home!"

BPOV

Jeremy Dingleberry's eyes lit up with the wink. Gawd, this is depressing-it's making miss Edward even more.

"Hello, Miss..." He let his sentence dangle in the air, waiting for me to answer the implied question.

"Swan, Miss Swan--but it's Bella to you." I grinned widely and tilted my head slightly. I just got two more moves out of the way.

APOV

I gasped at her sudden confidence and technique. "Another double header!"

BPOV

Jeremy Dingleberry raised one eyebrow dramatically with a grin and answered, "Bella it is then. How can I help you today?" His eyes dropped quickly to my chest, but then moved back to my face. Men. So predictable. They could live off cheetos, beer and breasts exclusively.

"Jeremy, I was wondering if you could give me advice-not as a concierge, but as a...man." I played with my necklace suggestively, then let my fingers suggestively rub the middle of my collarbone, and then let out a throaty sigh. These vampires better be keeping count, cause I'm just hitting these moves out of the park left and right.

RPOV

"She just did a triple axle move combination-flawlessly! I didn't think a beginner could pull that off..."

BPOV

Jeremy Dingleberry wasn't sure what to do at that point, but he was getting a little too excited for my tastes. And I hadn't even brought out the big guns yet.

" ANYTHING, for you Bella. ANYTHING." He leaned closer to emphasize that anything part, just in case I was deaf AND couldn't read lips.

I plopped my Victoria's Secret Bag on the counter, and pouted. "Jeremy, I bought several different babydolls today, and I'm just at a loss as to which one my boyfriend would like best." I took out two of the more sexy babydolls and began to carress them softly. "See, this one is silky and would feel amazing against your skin. But this one is lacey and leaves less...to the imagination visually."

APOV

"She's carressing her own babydolls! That's bonus points, Rosalie!"

BPOV

Jeremy's eyelids looked very heavy as he went back and forth between watching me carress my babydoll to watching my lips talk. "Lace. Lace one. Lace one good."

Okay, that's officially putty. And now for my $500 bonus. "Thanks, so much Jeremy-" as I said that, I let my hair fall into my face. I shook it temptingly as Jeremy watched. Come one, Dingleberry, take the bait-do it for the homeless kids! Reflexively, his hand reached out and moved my hair out of my face. I couldn't get annoyed with him either-I wanted to do that to Edward from day one myself. Okay, all finished here.

"Great, thanks, Jeremy! My boyfriend will appreciate your help---he's coming by tonight after his shift as a law enforcement officer is through. He carries a concealed weapon...goodnight!" Wow, I am such an ass.

I rushed back to Alice and Rosalie and we headed up in the elevator. As we giggled, Alice hugged me. "Oh, Bella, me and Rose were thinking that just yesterday you seemed so hopeless. And look at you now-doing triple axel move combinations in a push up bra!"

Later that night, Rosalie and Alice wanted to go over more "tactics," but I just wanted to go to bed. I was getting nervous about all these things that were being set in motion, and the only thing I wanted to do was talk to Edward.

I quietly laid out my outfit for tomorrow on my bed. Out of everything I bought today, it was my most favorite buy by far.(pictures of the outfit is in my profile--I LOVE this ensemble).

I flipped open my phone and sent him a text that wasn't egged on by dare inducing vampire girls:

Dear Edward:

I've had an amazing weekend with your sisters. But the whole time, I've had to stop myself so many times. From leaning over reflexively to share whatever joke we girls were having in your ear, or to reaching out automatically to grab your hand, or to expecting to fall asleep to my own personal lullaby performer at night. I haven't realized how accostumed I am to having you within inches of me at all times! Sigh, I just miss you.

Yours always,

Bell

I pulled the covers over me, and tried to not think of all the potential diasasters that could be awaiting me tomorrow with this weekend's grand scheming. All I wanted to do was concentrate on seeing Edward again.Seeing Edward-and hoping to dear God Edward doesn't hear Mike's thoughts tomorrow at lunch!