After receiving some very cool messages/reviews, I've decided it wouldn't be fair to you guys for me to just stop updating. HOWEVER...I will be rewriting that chapter later.
This incident has made me fully realize that I am in need of a very good BETA reader. I need one that can help improve my character/plot development and also check for random spelling/grammatical issues as well. If any of you faithful readers are BETAs, please let me know. I would prefer it be someone who is familiar with my work so they already know/appreciate my writing style.
Thanks and keep reading!