Hey guys, so my internet stopped working a couple days ago :/ but i just got it back, I sat down to write this and i got half way through before i had to be rushed to the hospital. But now i'm on bed rest sooo update time :)

So some people are confused about the whole mark/meredith thing.

Derek was going to ask meredith to marry him the night of the accident. They didn't actually get married, but Derek couldn't move on and thinks of Meredith as his wife because he still loves her. So mark married Mer, but the boy is definitely Derek's but Meredith doesnt want him to know because she thinks he didn't want the baby. ok sorry for the confusion :(

Chapter 7: Dark n' Twisty Derek

Derek sat in his office facing Mark.

They arrived at his office about five minutes ago. They've been sitting in complete silence. Derek had his head burried in his hands. He could feel Mark staring at him, waiting for an explanation.

Mark was the first to break the silence when he cleared his throat. Derek took that as a sign to start speaking. But he couldn't, he couldn't even think straight. His mind was blank. But there was one thing he couldn't forget. One thought swimming in his mind.

Baby.

Mark and Meredith got married. As in 'rings, living together, and I do' married. Mark has everything I ever wanted with Meredith.

And now a baby?

A baby that looks exactly like me? How is that possible, unless? Derek thought to himself.

"So, are you going to talk or are we just going to pretend like nothing ever happened?" Mark asked.

Derek finally looked up at Mark, and Mark could easily see the hurt in his eyes. But that was to be expected after all of these years. And anger, but also expected because Mark did marry the love of his life. But there was something else. Guilt?

"Come on Derek," Mark pushed. "Explain to me why you would just pick up and leave. I know you loved Meredith, I mean I helped you plan the proposal. How could you just leave her in the hospital and drive across the country?"

Derek watched Mark pace in front of him. He decided he would have to explain, he has to. If only he could formulate the words to do it.

"Dead," was all he could muster up.

"What?"

"For the past three years, I went to sleep every night thinking Meredith was dead. Every morning I woke up thinking the same. Every fucking day I walked around this hospital like a zombie thinking I killed the love of my life," Derek finally snapped.

He stood up and walked over to where Mark had stopped in his tracks.

Mark couldn't believe what Derek said. Meredith dead?

"Why would you think that?" Mark said softly, he could see Derek was about to crack again.

"Ellis."

"Ellis told you Mer was dead?" Mark questioned, still not quite believing his ears.

Derek flinched at the sound of Mark's words.

Mer? That's what I called Meredith, Derek thought.

"Yes, she told me that she died in the accident," Derek said.

"Why the hell wouldn't you try to figure out yourself?"

"Do you honestly think that I was thinking straight at that moment? I was planning on proposing. I had to show up to the hospital were people die everyday, I'm a surgeon. I know that people die everyday," Derek explained. " Ellis told me Meredith died becuase she was distracted by my phone call. She called me a murderer Mark, a fucking murderer. All I could think was that Mer was dead because of me, my Meredith was lying somewhere in the hospital in a body bag, lifeless. All I could hear was her flatlining, and someone calling her time of death. All I could imagine was me living the rest of my life alone, because I had to call her. All because I was to excited to propose, that I caused her death."

Mark watched his brother break, literally break. Tears started bursting from Derek's eyes. His hands were shaking and his voice was cracking. He looked like he could fall over any second.

Mark knew Derek would never lie, but damn this was unbelievable. How could Ellis do this to Meredith and Derek? How could this have happened, and no one knew?

"Derek, Mer was hit by a drunk driver," Mark explained. " The guy ran a red light and rammed Meredith's car. It wasn't your fault, your not a murderer."

Mark knew that word is the one that killed Derek. Murderer. Mark remembered like it was just yesterday the day that Derek's dad was killed, right in front of him. And Derek could do nothing, he was helpless. Derek was no longer Derek anymore, no he was someone different. Someone always sad, always depressed. He would never say it, but everyone knew Derek was despressed. Until he met Meredith. Meredith gave him life again, Meredith saved him. And to think Derek had to go through that all again, wow Mark finally understood.

"Well, it's too late," Derek said. "Now, you're married to Meredith and she has a kid." Derek looked at Mark with lifeless eyes. The rims of his eyes were red from all the crying, and his hair was messed up from all the times he raked a hand through his mane.

Mark contemplated just telling Derek. It's Derek and Meredith, they're meant to be. But for once, Mark was happy. Mark was married, he dumped all the girls and the bars and he was done, Meredith was it. How could he end that? Plus, Meredith told him she doesn't want Derek to know. But this is different, Derek never knew about the baby. Damn, this was so confusing.

"He's 2," Mark lied. "His name is Chris, we had him shortly after we got married." Damn, this doesn't feel right. I'm lying to my brother, about his son.

"Oh," was all Derek said. Mark thought he saw him die just a little more inside. Like it was his last hope, and Mark crushed it. "Congrats." Derek said with a dark chuckle.

"Derek, I know you're pissed and I really don't blame you, but she's my wife now. When you left Meredith she was broken. And when you weren't there, I was. I helped her get over you. I helped her recover. Not you, me. I fell in love with her. So, please just let me be happy."

Derek felt like he was dying, he had to listen to how his best friend fell in love with the love of Derek's life. But he couldn't do anything, he couldn't ruin his brother's life. He's spent the last 3 years of his life without her, so how hard can it be to spend the rest of his life without her?

Shit.

"Okay."

"One more thing bro," Mark said. "You got to take that picture of you and Meredith off of your desk, oh and the ring on your finger. I'm your best friend, I know that you didn't get married again. Sorry, man."

Derek just shook his head and removed the ring. God, his finger felt naked without it. He slipped it into his pocket and tried his hardest to smile at his brother.

Shit, I hate my life, here comes Dark n' Twisty Derek again...